Grimer and Muk

bills-pokedex:

Grimer
The Sludge Pokémon
Type: Poison
Official Registration #: 88
Entry: Born from polluted rivers, this pokémon’s body consists entirely of highly toxic sludge. It consequently thrives on pollution, and as such, it flocks to polluted waterways, where it has been known to clog up entire sewer systems in its zeal to consume raw waste. Despite all of this, grimer populations are considered to be the most prevalent in Kanto and Hoenn, home to two of the most aggressive green campaigns in the world, despite the fact that other regions historically had difficulties with pollution, are centers of mining and manufacturing, and are currently so polluted that their environment has given birth to sentient garbage bags.

Muk
The Sludge Pokémon
Type: Poison
Official Registration #: 89
Entry: The evolved form of grimer, by battle experience. Like its preevolved form, a muk’s body also consists entirely of a highly toxic sludge. However, due to its increase in mass, power, and age with evolution, muk is able to cultivate highly powerful strains of bacteria and viruses that infest every inch of its skin. Physical contact with this pokémon can kill plants and smaller or weaker animals on contact … which should speak volumes about the resilience of pokémon researchers and their assistants as a whole, considering the fact that certain muk express affection via alarmingly frequent tackling.

Grimer (Alola form)
The Sludge Pokémon
Type: Poison/Dark
Official Registration #: 88
Entry: This sludge-like pokémon actually descends from grimer imported from Kanto. Decades ago, when Alola was facing a pollution crisis, the regional government took notice of how grimer consume waste and attempted to bring in a small but tame population to consume the considerable amounts of garbage clogging Alolan streets. Naturally, some of these grimer escaped and reproduced, and over generations, they mutated to match their comparatively less toxic food sources (that is, compared to the diets of standard grimer) … as well as the psychic and steel predators also brought in to handle the out-of-control grimer population. Long story short, this is exactly why: A) there are infestations of grimer, abra, and magnemite in certain parts of Alola, and B) coming up with good ideas should not be left to people in politics.

Muk (Alola form)
The Sludge Pokémon
Type: Poison/Dark
Official Registration #: 89
Entry: The evolved form of the Alolan variation of grimer, by battle experience. Despite its fangs and sharp spikes, this highly colorful pokémon is actually sweeter, gentler, and far less fragrant than its standard cousins. Additionally, its skin is comparatively clean, making it safe to touch. However, contrary to popular belief, it’s often a bad idea to hug one unless you’re experienced with training this variation of muk, as both its bodily fluids and its spikes are highly toxic. Naturally, considering the toxicity of certain parts of its body, combined with its vivid coloration and docile nature as well as the Alolans’ general ability to make sound decisions, most residents of Alola consider their variation of muk to be a highly popular mascot for children’s programming and products.

Poipole and Naganadel

Poipole
The Poison Pin Pokémon
Type: Poison
Official Registration #: 803
Entry: One of the Ultra Beasts, or strange pokémon that had appeared from another dimension. A native to a dimension populated by humans, poipole is the only Ultra Beast known to be popular enough to be used as a starter pokémon within its world, much like pikachu. It is also as capricious and mischievous as it is cute, and it’s known for attacking innocent researchers who approach it purely out of curiosity … also much like pikachu.

Bill … what did you do to pikachu? —LH

It was a pikachu, and literally nothing! —Bill

Somehow, I find that hard to believe… —LH

Naganadel
The Poison Pin Pokémon
Type: Poison/Dragon
Official Registration #: 804
Entry: One of the Ultra Beasts, or strange pokémon that had appeared from another dimension. Also the evolved form of poipole, by battle experience, if the subject knows Dragon Pulse. This massive, syringe-like dragon is known for storing gallons of toxic, highly adhesive fluids in its bulbous torso and spraying it from its giant stinger as a self-defense mechanism. The author would make a joke about any of this, but frankly, he’s above that.

Are there any commercial uses for various pokemon’s poisons?

Well, ironically, the biggest use for pokémon poison (or venom) is … in medicine.

Hold on. I don’t mean that kind of medicine. I mean pokémon venom can be used to synthesize medications meant to treat a wide variety of diseases. For example, ekans venom has a variety of medicinal uses, including as a cancer treatment (as it can be used to attack cancer cells), a treatment for parasitic conditions (as, again, it can attack parasites found in the blood, most notably the ones that cause malaria), a treatment for high blood pressure, an anticoagulant, and even as a painkiller. Likewise, there are a few experimental medications for neurological disorders (particularly epilepsy) that have been synthesized from ekans venom, purely because, well, ekans venom is a powerful neurotoxin. (Currently, most medications for neurological disorders are synthesized from either gastly gas or Poison Powder, if they’re not wholly chemical in nature, but there’s research out there that suggests ekans venom would be more potent. Arbok venom even more so, but … baby steps, as they say.)

And of course, outside of ekans venom or the above-mentioned medications, venom is often used to create antivenom. Most hospitals will carry stock antivenom for each possible species of poison pokémon; this is because each specific antivenom is custom-created from antibodies harvested from certain lab pokémon and rabbits. (It sounds barbaric, but it’s actually done in a perfectly ethical manner … and also, it’s pretty much the only way this can be done without being inhumane to people.) For those curious, trainer-grade antidote (that is, the stuff sold in pokémarts) is actually synthesized from standard muk venom, as this is the most potent available.

Outside of the medical industry, some poisons—particularly those derived from acid-based attacks (such as, well, Acid)—is sometimes incorporated into potent cleaning supplies, as such substances are capable of eating through rust, calcified build-up, and other forms of age and decay that are extremely difficult to remove with soap and a bit of effort. In its purest form, this acid may also be used in manufacturing as a means of cleaning and sterilizing not only equipment but also products in production as well.

In short, pokémon venom is primarily used for medicinal purposes and secondarily as industrial cleaning solutions. That’s just about it, really.

Legally speaking, anyway.

The Gastly Line

bills-pokedex:

Gastly
The Gas Pokémon
Type: Ghost/Poison
Official Registration #: 92
Entry: A spectral pokémon most prevalent in graveyards and pokémon burial sites throughout Kanto, Johto, and Sinnoh. Contrary to popular belief, gastly are not the souls of deceased pokémon. Rather, they spawn naturally through either breeding or, in sites that host high volumes of cremation, a mixture of smoke, ash, the noxious gases of decomposition, and a pokémon’s final burst of auric energy. The gases that comprise a gastly’s body are, as mentioned a moment ago, highly noxious to a human and may induce a state of lightheadedness and euphoria shortly before suffocation. Some humans keep gastly who are trained to envelope a human but release them the moment they arrive at the edge of unconsciousness, all expressly for the high induced by this pokémon … not that the author would know anything about this, of course.

Haunter
The Gas Pokémon
Type: Ghost/Poison
Official Registration #: 93
Entry: The evolved form of gastly, by battle experience. Like its evolutionary predecessor, haunter’s body is comprised entirely of concentrated, noxious gases. However, these gases are compressed to the point where they hover just at the edge of their liquid state, enabling haunter to have a more tangible form than gastly. Additionally, as the inner materials of its form are compressed to the point where they begin to condense, haunter also has the ability to “touch,” as well as the ability to inflict the paralytic effects of its composition by touch. Thus, when the pokédex informs you that being touched by this pokémon’s hand causes a victim to experience unrelenting shuddering or that being licked by this pokémon’s gaseous tongue results in a full-body paralysis, rest assured that there is an entirely scientific explanation behind all of this which is rooted in equally comforting levels of chemistry.

Gengar
The Shadow Pokémon
Type: Ghost/Poison
Official Registration #: 94
Entry: The evolved form of haunter, via trading. This spectral pokémon possesses the ability to pass into the shadows of living beings, where it waits until nightfall to suck away their life energies and body heat. Not much else is known about gengar, unfortunately, except for one other note: should you ever attempt to study this with the two most capable researchers you know short of Professor Oak, never attempt to study it by inviting it to perform any of its other abilities unless you have not, within the past half an hour, consumed more whiskey than is reasonable for a professional. It apparently also has the ability to possess humans and the tendency to be creative in its interpretations of requests.

Mega Gengar
The Shadow Pokémon
Type: Ghost/Poison
Official Registration #: 94+
Entry: The advanced form of gengar, via gengarite. Rest assured that the Alolan dex entry concerning this pokémon’s tendency to curse everyone it encounters, even its own trainer, is not true. It will curse everyone except its trainer. Unless its trainer is a terrible person. Then it will curse everyone.

Kanto Starters I: Bulbasaur

bills-pokedex:

@psychms: I just noticed you haven’t written about any of the regional starters! Can you tell us about your most memorable experience with a starter Pokémon (or its evolutions)?

Ah, keen observation! Starters are a bit special to a researcher, as we tend to associate them with new beginnings while maintaining our status as a ridiculously sentimental breed of people. In particular, I must say I’m closest to the Kantonian starters, in part because I consider one of my home regions to be Kanto and in part because, despite beginning my journey in Johto, my starter was a bulbasaur. While I could go on and on about the bulbasaur line, I hardly think it would be appropriate to only cover it and not the other two families. Thus, consider this to be part one of a three-part series.

Bulbasaur
The Seed Pokémon
Type: Grass/Poison
Official Registration #: 1
Entry: One of three pokémon traditionally offered to new trainers at the beginning of their journeys in Kanto. Many people believe that out of the three, bulbasaur is the easiest to raise, as bulbasaur are more docile than the other two, the species’ offensive and defensive traits are balanced, and a grass-type has more of an advantage against the earliest Kantonian gyms than a fire- or water-type. However, while all of this is true, such advice frequently forgets any word on what to do when you have a pokémon that learns Leech Seed, Stun Spore, Poison Powder, and Sleep Powder all basically at the same time. On that note, should you be a new trainer who finds himself with a rambunctious bulbasaur who enjoys showering you with “affection,” be sure to carry full heals. A lot of full heals. Do not buy anything but full heals until your bulbasaur evolves. You will thank me later.

Ivysaur
The Seed Pokémon
Type: Grass/Poison
Official Registration #: 2
Entry: The evolved form of bulbasaur, by battle experience. As it nears evolution into a venusaur, an ivysaur’s blossom grows larger and more fragrant to the point where it naturally emits a sweet, spicy fragrance strong enough to be detected from a distance. Thus, an ivysaur is the easiest among the three middle-evolution starters to evolve, not only because the weight of the bulb makes each ivysaur more eager to battle (in order to gain the strength needed to support its own flower) but also because the scent emitting from the blossom happens to be the exact kind of aroma that draws pokémon towards one in droves. That said, while ivysaur are still among the easiest pokémon to train, new and mediocre trainers should be warned that preventing an ivysaur from battling is nearly impossible and that many of your days may be spent being dragged through Viridian Forest by a charging ivysaur chased by a horde of beedrill.

Venusaur
The Seed Pokémon
Type: Grass/Poison
Official Registration #: 3
Entry: The evolved form of ivysaur, by battle experience. A venusaur’s evolution is among the most beautiful to occur within the pokémon world. When the time comes, an ivysaur will seek the sunniest clearing in a forest, crouch within beams of sunlight, and allow its flower to grow and bloom. Petal by petal will open, and its fragrance will become more intense and aromatic. The power of this sight and the soothing nature of its signature perfume will rejuvenate an observing trainer just as much as the venusaur experiencing it, which is worth it to note as a warning to both. While you may be tempted to run forward and embrace your long-time pokémon partner in a rush of mutual pride and elation, note that your venusaur has gone from being 29 pounds to over 220 and that it will use all 220 to affectionately tackle you before realizing that it is no longer the size and weight of a large dog.

Mega Venusaur
The Seed Pokémon
Type: Grass/Poison
Official Registration #: 3+
Entry: The advanced form of venusaur, via venusaurite. Important safety tip for people who train venusaur: everything about venusaur becomes more powerful when it’s mega evolved. This includes its defensive capabilities, the destructive power of its distance attacks, the potency of its pollen, the calming effects of its spicy floral scent, and most importantly, the damage it can do to the human body if you’ve failed to teach your venusaur that it is no longer the size and weight of a large dog. Use your venusaurite with caution, preferably after you get it to forget how to use Tackle.

You’ve answered a lot of asks about anxiety management, so I want to know what Pokémon GIVE or PROMOTE anxiety and depressive tendencies??

Well, certain ghost-types may induce this in sensitive people, as their general presence affects humans on a more psychic and spiritual level. For example, a particularly sensitive person can tell that members of the gastly line are present because they inherently evoke a sense of dread. The same can be said for misdreavus, mismagius, the duskull line, and spiritomb. On the other hand, many others who are less psychically inclined have no trouble handling ghost-types, so whether or not they would induce or promote anxiety in a human being really depends on the human themselves.

Meanwhile, poison-types who emit gaseous toxins actually do this more reliably, meaning these will affect most people, regardless of whether or not you’re sensitive to poison-types. The reason why is because the toxins actually affect us humans on a physical level by interacting with our respiratory systems (and thus, everything from our immune systems to even our skin, digestion, and so forth). In turn, this can induce anxiety because, well, the more our bodies react to pollutants, the more our minds react to the warning signs that we’re breathing in toxic air. It’s very much akin to living in a city full of smog and pollution for prolong periods of time: while it’s possible for you to exist that way, you may find that you’ll feel more at ease when you escape to the country and get some fresh air, so to speak.

This isn’t, of course, to say that it’s impossible or not recommended to train a poison-type (or even a koffing or weezing). Many people who own such pokémon find that they’re perfectly happy with their companions. It’s just that it’s highly recommended to give yourself and your body a break from them, especially if you notice changes in your physical or mental health.

(Also, their gases are literally carcinogenic, so don’t plant your face in your weezing, regardless of how tempting it may be.)

Mareanie and Toxapex

Mareanie
The Brutal Star Pokémon
Type: Water/Poison
Official Registration #: 747
Entry: A starfish-like pokémon native to tropical seas. It actively hunts corsola across wide swaths of territory on the ocean floor. If a trainer were to ask some pokémon ethologists, once it locates corsola prey, it simply harasses them until the corsola sheds its horns, which it then consumes. However, let it be known that the author is not one of those pokémon ethologists, and he would like to clarify to all his younger readers that, no, a mareanie rips apart its prey and feasts on the tender, fleshy organs of the main body. The horns that you see are indeed shed, but they’re “shed” in the sense that mareanie rip them off and let them float to the surface of the ocean.

Toxapex
The Brutal Star Pokémon
Type: Water/Poison
Official Registration #: 748
Entry: The evolved form of mareanie, by battle experience. Wild toxapex possess an extremely potent toxin that, while not lethal to humans, can induce a minimum of three days and three nights of excruciating pain. And even then, the entire ordeal leaves lingering effects on the human body. Fortunately, one would assume this means lingering pain or numbness, but in actuality, it just means one of the absolutely fantastic-looking scars that can possibly result from a pokémon encounter. The author may or may not know this from experience.

Could you talk about any of the ultra beasts

I could talk about all of them, anonymous, but I suppose the most appropriate place to start with the ultra beasts would be with the first one ever documented:

Nihilego
The Parasite Pokémon
Type: Rock/Poison
Official Registration #: 793
Entry: One of the Ultra Beasts, or strange pokémon that had appeared from another dimension. This jellyfish-like pokémon possesses strange and not well-understood powers, including the ability to teleport, open portals, and influence the human mind. Those who were exposed to this creature’s neurotoxins have reported erratic and often fervent or obsessive behavior, usually culminating in extraordinary feats for the sake of ripping apart the space-time continuum in the name of science and pokémon. Incidentally, the above-mentioned symptoms also describe the effects of hard liquor on the author, which also incidentally is a state that led to the creation of the Time Capsule, so if there are no objections, the author would like to propose an experiment involving himself, a nihilego, and a bottle of whiskey.

I have objections. I have a lot of objections to this plan. —LH

Hi Bill, I have a question regarding Toxapex. It is said through the Pokedex that Toxapex has dangerous poison that can incapacitate for 3 days with dangerous aftereffects. Does that make Toxapex a dangerous Pokemon to own and battle with? Could it fatally wound a small Pokemon or a human with poison? How would one go about safely owning and battling with a Toxapex?

While it’s true that toxapex can utilize poison that potent, it’s important to note that all poison-types have the ability to generate extremely dangerous toxins or harbor deadly microorganisms. For example, the toxic fluids that compose grimer and muk’s bodies are so potent that they can render an area virtually inhospitable to plants and any other wildlife for up to three years just by passing through it. The slightest scratch from a toxicroak’s claws, for another example, can outright kill an adult man in seconds. Dragalge’s poison is so acidic it can eat through three feet of solid steel, and koffing and weezing’s toxic gases are so volatile that they can ignite in a fiery explosion upon contact with open air. Poison-types by nature are extremely dangerous to handle, which is why they are one of the more difficult types to master.

However, the main thing to remember about them is that although they can kill, they won’t unless you pose a very real threat to them. Even grimer and muk, whose abilities you’d think would be passive, actually only secrete the fluids they’re known for as a last resort. During any other time outside of those dire circumstances, even a human can touch them without suffering any ill consequences whatsoever.

In other words, poison-types are fully capable of controlling how much poison they use at any given moment, and they understand that landing a lethal strike may do more harm than good when it comes to their own personal growth. That is, if they’re tame, and they kill their opponent, they know that means it may be a long while before they can battle again. If you encounter one in the wild, they know that if they kill you or your pokémon, then their chances of being caught and trained will decrease exponentially. They know they need you to either train them or to spar against them, so, in other words, they need you alive.

Of course, if you wander deep into a poison-type’s territory, then you may actually be in real danger, but with toxapex, that would mean diving into the ocean and intentionally touching one. While toxapex do indeed learn Venoshock (a distance attack) early on, they much prefer not attacking unless you come too close for comfort.

In short, anonymous, yes, toxapex can kill small pokémon or a human, but that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s dangerous to handle. So long as you make it clear to your toxapex that every battle is meant to be non-lethal, it will very likely understand and hold itself back. The only time you’ll need to worry is if your toxapex is scared for your life or its own life, but part of your job as its trainer is ensuring it always feels safe and comfortable, even on the battlefield.

Salandit and Salazzle

Salandit
The Toxic Lizard Pokémon
Type: Poison/Fire
Official Registration #: 757
Entry: A salamander pokémon native to tropical regions. More specifically, it lives on the craggy slopes of active volcanoes, where it mixes its own toxic gas with gases of its environment to create a noxious but sweet-smelling perfume. This perfume has the ability to not only lure in prey but also disorient them, allowing salandit—which, incidentally, normally travel in packs—to draw prey close enough to attack. These noxious properties have not gone unnoticed by humans, of course, and as such, certain groups have figured out how to refine and bottle these gases to produce the exact thing you think they would: perfume.

Salazzle
The Toxic Lizard Pokémon
Type: Poison/Fire
Official Registration #: 758
Entry: The evolved form of the rare female salazzle, by battle experience. Each salazzle possesses an abundance of pheromone glands. Due to their rarity and these pheromones, salazzle have the tendency to attract mass amounts of male salandit wherever they go. These salandit then become integrated into each salazzle’s reverse harem, and yes, there have indeed been plenty of ridiculous shoujo anime titles made from this exact premise.