The Venipede Line

Venipede
The Centipede Pokémon
Type: Bug/Poison
Official Registration #: 543
Entry: An aggressive, centipede-like pokémon native to dark, moist forest floors. Because this pokémon may charge, trainers are advised to take extreme caution if they spot one. Even the smallest scratch from either venipede’s needles or mouthparts can paralyze the large, avian pokémon that prey on it. Granted, it simply causes a localized numbness in human limbs, but let’s just say that it starts off as a literal ankle-biter and then invites its entire swarm to carry on from there.

Whirlipede
The Curlipede Pokémon
Type: Bug/Poison
Official Registration #: 544
Entry: The evolved form of venipede, by battle experience. This pokémon is literally just a wheel studded with venomous spikes. Because it’s not enough for this evolution line to simply paralyze its predators with a venomous bite; they also have to drive themselves into these unfortunate avians (and observing researchers) at high speeds. Luckily, researchers have retaliated by giving it possibly the punniest species designation we have ever been able to consciously muster. Because some of us are petty, and nature is a wondrous thing.

Scolipede
The Megapede Pokémon
Type: Bug/Poison
Official Registration #: 545
Entry: The evolved form of whirlipede, by battle experience. The claws on this giant centipede’s neck are extremely strong: when they grip prey, they never let go. Instead, they crush the prey gradually until it stops moving, at which point scolipede poisons them with its giant, venom-coated horns. Should anyone wish to bring up the fact that this may be overkill, please note that the average scolipede is over eight feet tall, 442 pounds, extremely fast, murderously aggressive, and vastly interested in hearing you tell it how to live its life.

trainzelda
replied to your post “So Toxicroak sounds dangerous to even be around, how is it that people…”

I thought they meant, like, how are you supposed to care for toxicroak if you can’t even touch it?

With extreme caution.

In all seriousness, though, as toxicroak are among the more humanoid pokémon in existence (even if it otherwise appears to be a giant frog), it will do much of the work that would require physical contact itself—namely grooming. Beyond that, many of the tasks involved with taking care of a toxicroak don’t require physical contact at all, and toxicroak are not particularly fond of physical forms of affection, either. At most, you may be at risk for toxin exposure whenever you clean its habitat, but this is why toxicroak handlers recommend installing filters (and wearing gloves when changing these filters) to help regulate toxic buildup in their ponds or pools.

More volatile pokémon such as muk may be a bit more of a challenge, but there’s some evidence out there that muk can actually control its toxicity and how much bacteria it harbors. No one’s quite sure how, exactly, but seeing as Professor Oak has yet to succumb to muk poisoning (or any other sort of injury resulting from periodic Body Slamming via muk), we’re reasonably sure that it’s fully capable of regulating its biochemistry.

Either that or Professor Oak is far, far more resilient than the average human being. You know, the scientific community isn’t actually sure which, so this may perhaps be a bad example.

Croagunk and Toxicroak

Croagunk
The Toxic Mouth Pokémon
Type: Poison/Fighting
Official Registration #: 453
Entry: This frog-like pokémon may be recognizable to sports fans, as it’s highly popular as a mascot for various teams. Of course, this is perfect, as the author can think of no pokémon more appropriate to serve as a representation for good sportsmanship than one known for fighting dirty and stabbing opponents with its strong, poison-tipped fingers whenever they least expect it.

Toxicroak
The Toxic Mouth Pokémon
Type: Poison/Fighting
Official Registration #: 454
Entry: The evolved form of croagunk, by battle experience. Many parts of toxicroak’s body are actually highly dangerous and are either containers for or coated with an extremely potent venom. Its claws, for example, are tipped with a venom that can kill an adult human being with the lightest scratch, its skin can induce paralysis seconds after contact, and its mouth—for which its species was named—is capable of spewing toxic gas and sludge. In fact, toxicroak’s distinctive croaking is actually part of its battle tactics by serving it two advantages. First, the act of croaking vibrates the poison sac on its throat and shakes the venom inside to increase its potency. Second, as noted earlier, toxicroak’s croak is highly distinctive and recognizable, so the croak itself brings toxicroak’s attention onto individuals who may be ideal choices of prey … by chasing away anything intelligent enough to fight back.

The Roselia Line

Budew
The Bud Pokémon
Type: Grass/Poison
Official Registration #: 406
Entry: This small, bud-like pokémon is often seen sitting by sources of clean water, waiting for sunny days. When it feels the sun on its leaves, it opens its flower to release pollen to gently scatter about its body. Of course, as readers may expect having read this blog for this long, by “pollen,” the author means “Stun Spore and possibly Worry Seed,” and by “to gently scatter about its body,” he means “to stun and subsequently maim any human who thought he would be perfectly fine if he just got another foot closer so that he may study them for the sake of science.”

Roselia
The Thorn Pokémon
Type: Grass/Poison
Official Registration #: 315
Entry: The evolved form of budew, as a result of a heightened sense of happiness and exposure to sunlight. Roselia’s vibrantly colored, rose-shaped hands release a splendid aroma capable of soothing even the most stressed human. However, these hands also conceal sharp thorns in place of stamens, anthers, or digits. These thorns are hollow and contain two different types of venom, both of which are capable of rendering the healthiest human unconscious in a matter of seconds. Likewise, its crown of thorns contains a third poison capable of doing the same, and roselia as a whole use this collection of thorns, in combination with their alluring scent, to hunt. Thus, if someone tells you to “stop and smell the roses,” it is best to assume that they hate you and wish for you to be stabbed in the face repeatedly.

Roserade
The Bouquet Pokémon
Type: Grass/Poison
Official Registration #: 407
Entry: The evolved form of roselia, by exposure to shiny stone. Elegant and nimble, roserade is prized for its disarming talents. Beyond the alluring scent it has inherited from its preevolved form, roserade is capable of dancing across battlefields and striking with incredible speed and precision using poisonous, binding whips. However, seeing as roserade cannot actually learn Vine Whip and seeing as Poison Whip is not a valid move as far as any league is concerned, this information is basically useless to trainers.

Gulpin and Swalot

Gulpin
The Stomach Pokémon
Type: Poison
Official Registration #: 316
Entry: The rubbery body of this foot-tall, sac-like pokémon consists of a large stomach but small heart, brain, and other internal organs. Thus, it thinks of very little else besides consuming anything in front of it. The enzymes contained within its stomach are so corrosive they may dissolve practically anything, including solid metal. Needless to say, as it digests, the breakdown of said objects may release gases that are extremely foul-smelling in nature. It is thus a pokémon that only thinks about food and releases foul-smelling odors at random intervals … or, in other words, the perfect pokémon representation of that one roommate you may have had in college.

Swalot
The Poison Bag Pokémon
Type: Poison
Official Registration #: 317
Entry: The evolved form of gulpin, by battle experience. This formidable pokémon is known for its hunting habits. When it encounters potential prey (which is to say, more or less anything that moves and can fit in its mouth), it sprays an acidic, toxic fluid from its skin to weaken and paralyze the object. Once its prey is weakened, swalot will scoop it up with its cavernous mouth and swallow it whole, to be digested within its sizable, rubbery stomach. At this point, the author would like to share that he is well aware that, like the entry on lopunny, this is also something that induces thoughts of questionable virtue among some of his readers. Therefore, he would like to restate that if you happen to be one of those people, the author is not going to judge you for your interests, but he would prefer it if he didn’t know about which of you this would apply to.

When untamed, which pokemon type would you consider the most dangerous to humans? Poison-types because of their toxicity? Dragon-types because of their ferocity? Or, if it ultimately comes down to certain species, which species do you consider the most “dangerous”?

Honestly, quite literally every pokémon is capable of being dangerous. All of them are capable of wielding forces of nature humans only dream of coming close to harnessing, and pokémon do it with the intent to battle against others. This is one of many, many reasons why we must respect all of them.

But! As that’s hardly a proper answer, I must say it’s difficult to decide. Perhaps the legendaries, as those are frequently the avatars of the strongest or most fundamental elements of nature themselves. How can you possibly defend yourself if the avatar of space decides to thrust you into a trans-dimensional rift that leads to the other end of the universe?

Out of the more terrestrial pokémon, though, I suppose the answer would indeed be poison-types … or, more specifically, the likes of grimer, muk, koffing—all the ones that possess abilities that can kill or corrode on contact. While we have antidotes that can handle the vast majority of poison-type abilities, the bodies of grimer and muk contain bacteria that, if worked into open wounds, could infect one with a whole slew of rather nasty incurable diseases, some of which are highly infectious if given the right vectors. Then you have koffing and weezing, whose gases suffocate, rather than poison, which is not something that you can treat unless you’re aware enough of it happening to get as far away as possible. Unfortunately, some of the gases expelled by koffing and weezing distribute themselves rather quickly, so the range of effect can be quite wide and inescapable. The gastly line operates on the same principle, actually, only with an additional soul-stealing element due to their ghost-type natures.

The other pokémon, while fearsome, are at least avoidable for the most part.

Koffing and Weezing

Koffing
The Poison Gas Pokémon
Type: Poison
Official Registration #: 109
Entry: The body of this balloon-like pokémon consists primarily of gas bladders. These bladders are filled with a number of different gases, primarily hydrogen and sulfur dioxide, all of which are used in koffing’s various gas-based techniques. Due to koffing’s high hydrogen content, the pokémon’s body is extremely volatile and very prone to exploding at the slightest disturbance. On the positive side, its high sulfur dioxide content also means one can smell it from a mile away, rendering koffing’s explosive accidents perfectly avoidable … except for those who are audacious enough to train a literal ball of poisonous, explosive gases.

Weezing
The Poison Gas Pokémon
Type: Poison
Official Registration #: 110
Entry: The evolved form of koffing, by battle experience. In areas of high toxic pollution, koffing that feed in close proximity can merge to form systems of weezing. Although the norm is for two koffing to perform this feat, in areas with particularly high concentrations of toxic waste, triplet or even quadruplet weezing may occur. Yet despite this, they are still considered to be rare pokémon in the first region to have given birth to sentient garbage bags.

Zangoos and Seviper

Certainly, anonymous!

Zangoose
The Cat Ferret Pokémon
Type: Normal
Official Registration #: 335
Entry: A tall, mongoose-like pokémon first discovered in the mountains of Hoenn. Zangoose are known for exactly three things. First and most importantly, they are famous for their blood rivalry against seviper, which itself was very likely born from the fact that seviper, their favored prey, are also eight-foot-long tubes of hate and violence. Second, zangoose are known for their massive, sharp claws, which are capable of slicing through not only boulders but also raging seviper. Third and finally, zangoose are known for quite possibly the worst and most inaccurate species designation of any pokémon in existence.

Seviper
The Fang Snake Pokémon
Type: Poison
Official Registration #: 336
Entry: A large, viper-like pokémon first discovered in the mountains of Hoenn. Seviper are known for exactly three things. First and most importantly, they are famous for their blood rivalry against zangoose, which itself was very likely born from the fact that zangoose, their foremost predator, are also stubborn and ornery balls of muscle and terrible judgment. Second, seviper are known for their long tail blades, which not only are sharp enough to slice a boulder or a zangoose clean in half but are also venomous (as if the sharpness wasn’t enough). Third and finally, seviper are known for the second worst species designation of any pokémon in existence, trumped by zangoose’s only because seviper’s is actually stating the obvious.

Venonat and Venomoth

Venonat
The Insect Pokémon
Type: Bug/Poison
Official Registration #: 48
Entry: A large, mite-like pokémon native to dark forests. Its massive, red eyes function like radar devices and are capable of seeing through the densest fog and the darkest nights to locate the smallest prey. Likewise, its long antennae are capable of registering even the slightest hints of heat and vibration around it. Moreover, its thick, purple hair is coated with a potent venom capable of paralyzing prey on contact, and its fangs are sharp enough to deliver a killing blow and draw out blood instantly. And for the umpteenth time, despite the fact that it’s a purple bug-type with red eyes and long antennae, it is not in any way related to butterfree.

Venomoth
The Poison Moth Pokémon
Type: Bug/Poison
Official Registration #: 49
Entry: The evolved form of venonat, by battle experience. Also a highly aptly named pokémon, as with every flap of its wings, it lets loose a storm of poisonous dust that’s not only potent but also extremely difficult to remove. The color of its wings indicate what type of poison venomoth carries—be it caustic, a neurotoxin, or something else—but from the author’s personal experiences, he feels it’s safe to say that all of its possible colors indicate the fact that standing beneath a venomoth is a horrendous idea.

Grimer and Muk

Grimer
The Sludge Pokémon
Type: Poison
Official Registration #: 88
Entry: Born from polluted rivers, this pokémon’s body consists entirely of highly toxic sludge. It consequently thrives on pollution, and as such, it flocks to polluted waterways, where it has been known to clog up entire sewer systems in its zeal to consume raw waste. Despite all of this, grimer populations are considered to be the most prevalent in Kanto and Hoenn, home to two of the most aggressive green campaigns in the world, despite the fact that other regions historically had difficulties with pollution, are centers of mining and manufacturing, and are currently so polluted that their environment has given birth to sentient garbage bags.

Muk
The Sludge Pokémon
Type: Poison
Official Registration #: 89
Entry: The evolved form of grimer, by battle experience. Like its preevolved form, a muk’s body also consists entirely of a highly toxic sludge. However, due to its increase in mass, power, and age with evolution, muk is able to cultivate highly powerful strains of bacteria and viruses that infest every inch of its skin. Physical contact with this pokémon can kill plants and smaller or weaker animals on contact … which should speak volumes about the resilience of pokémon researchers and their assistants as a whole, considering the fact that certain muk express affection via alarmingly frequent tackling.