The Poochyena Line

Poochyena
The Bite Pokémon
Type: Dark
Official Registration #: 261
Entry: This small, puppy-like pokémon is best known for its persistent nature. Often seen in packs, when one member spots potential prey, no matter how large it is, the entire pack goes after that victim until said victim is exhausted … or until the victim strikes back. The latter condition is admittedly less known within the research community, likely because it’s very easy to forget that part when chased halfway across the Hoennian grasslands by an entire pack of tenacious canines with massive fangs.

Mightyena
The Bite Pokémon
Type: Dark
Official Registration #: 262
Entry: The evolved form of poochyena, by battle experience. Mightyena are highly intelligent pokémon of great ethological interest to the pokémon research community. They possess highly loyal natures that helps them to form packs in the wild, but in captivity, this loyalty instead drives them to bond deeply with humans they recognize as being strong trainers. In addition, much of their communication with either their packs or their trainers happens through complex body language. Even the most minute shift can mean the difference between happiness and aggression. For example, mightyena indicate happiness and comfort by wagging their tails from left to right. However, a mightyena that wags its tail from right to left is indicating extreme discomfort. Certainly, this difference may seem a little bit too difficult for the average human to spot, but if it helps, the tail wagging is also typically done as the mightyena flattens itself, growls deeply, bares its fangs, and generally looks like it’s about to rip one apart. Subtle clues, yes, but they’re very important subtle clues, in the author’s opinion.

The Marill Line

Azurill
The Polka Dot Pokémon
Type: Normal/Fairy
Official Registration #: 298
Entry: This small, mouse-like pokémon is actually best known for its ability to bounce about on its rubbery, nutrient-filled tail. However, it’s actually considered to be scientifically interesting because the phenomenon in which some female azurill evolve into male marill. There are a few theories as to why this is, including the idea that azurill’s gender shifts in response to environmental changes in combination with the boost in energy caused by evolution. Of course, a more practical theory is that male and female azurill are nearly indistinguishable from one another and that many male azurill are mistakenly classified as female due to inadequate gendering methods for the species. A study could be launched to see if the latter is the case—and, if it is, to rectify the situation—but frankly put, it’s either correcting a system of classification the azurill themselves have no concept of or finding a cure to azurill tail cancer.

Marill
The Aqua Mouse Pokémon
Type: Water/Fairy
Official Registration #: 183
Entry: The evolved form of azurill, as a result of a heightened sense of happiness. Marill possess a water-repellant tail and coat of fur, which in conjunction with each other, make it impossible for marill to drown. In the wild, this allows marill to forage for food even in the swiftest of currents without having to worry about being dragged under, but in captivity, some trainers see it as an opportunity. Tamed marill are frequently used by novice trainers to ferry themselves across the water using Surf, Whirlpool, Waterfall, or all three moves in combination. However, it’s worth it to note that the author has just specified novice trainers, as experienced trainers have quickly learned that a foot-tall mouse with aqua-repellant fur may be able to keep themselves from drowning, but keeping a five-foot-tall, 100+-pound human from doing the same is an entirely different story.

Azumarill
The Aqua Rabbit Pokémon
Type: Water/Fairy
Official Registration #: 184
Entry: The evolved form of marill, by battle experience. This rabbit-like pokémon is known for its long ears and bubble pattern. The bubble pattern gives it camouflage in the water, and its long ears are excellent sensors that allow it to detect even the most minute prey. Using both in combination allow it to glide through the water undetected until it comes across and pounces on its next meal. One may wonder why azumarill, a pokémon that strongly resembles an exclusively herbivorous animal, has the carnivorous tendency of hunting for and pouncing on food, to which the author responds with, “Azumarill are native to Johto. Have you ever seen the aquatic plants of Johto? I thought not. They’re vicious, chief. They will eat your arm right off if you’re not careful around them.”

The Clamperl Line

Clamperl
The Bivalve Pokémon
Type: Water
Official Registration #: 366
Entry: This oyster-like pokémon is protected by a rock-hard shell throughout most of its life. It keeps this shell clamped shut at all times, protecting itself from virtually every threat. Not even the most persistent corphish can crack its shell and get at the tender meat inside. The only time clamperl’s shell opens is when it’s close to evolution, when it grows too big to close its shell properly. Before then—and right up until evolution—it expends a great deal of energy crafting its signature pearl. It creates only one of these in its lifetime, spending every waking moment shaping this pearl to perfection within the safety of its shell. This pearl is clamperl’s first and only treasure, an object worth so much to each individual clamperl that it may bring the pokémon to tears just by looking at it. So naturally, the second clamperl opens its shell, the pearl is perfectly safe and sound and carried with that clamperl through evolution. (Just kidding. It’s instantly lifted by a grumpig using telekinesis from the shoreline to be given to a newborn spoink.)

Huntail
The Deep Sea Pokémon
Type: Water
Official Registration #: 367
Entry: The evolved form of clamperl, via trading if the subject has been given a deep sea tooth. Using its tail—which is shaped like a small fish—huntail glides through the murky depths of the sea and attracts fish and smaller water pokémon. Once its prey gets close, huntail whirls around, unhinges its jaw, and swallows its prey whole. The act of unhinging its jaw opens its mouth wide, almost to unnatural degrees, and it can be quite alarming to watch. However, despite this ability and huntail’s already alarming appearance, huntail is not the most horrifying deep-sea creature in existence. That particular note of recognition goes to…

Gorebyss
The South Sea Pokémon
Type: Water
Official Registration #: 368
Entry: The evolved form of clamperl, via trading if the subject has been given a deep sea scale. This beautiful pokémon glides elegantly through the depths of warm oceans. Its brilliant, pink or golden scales shimmer as it moves—especially during the spring, when its coloration turns even more vivid. This change in color is likely because spring is typically the beginning of the mating season for most other water-types, a time when they are largely distracted and unable to notice a passing gorebyss until it stabs its thin, dagger-like mouth into their potential mates’ bodies and drains them of all their bodily fluids.

Hello Bill, can you please do an entry on Finneon and Lumineon? They’re my favorite forgotten Pokemon, and I love them even though most people don’t even know that they exist.

Well, I certainly can’t turn down a request like this, especially when I agree it’s unfortunate that finneon and lumineon seem to be overshadowed in the fish pokémon enthusiast communities by the likes of goldeen, feebas, and magikarp.

….

And yes, there are, in fact, fish pokémon enthusiast communities.

Finneon
The Wing Fish Pokémon
Type: Water
Official Registration #: 456
Entry: A small, neon tetra-like pokémon first discovered in the waters of Sinnoh. The pink designs along the sides of its body and within its fins contain specialized cells that can store sunlight and release it at certain intervals (usually whenever the subject is attempting to attract prey or a mate). Additionally, as it swims, finneon fan out its double tail fins, and this, combined with the beauty of the light it emits, have earned it the nickname “beautifly of the sea.” This, of course, means finneon is the second fish-like pokémon whose name calls to mind another creature, but unlike in lanturn’s case, the pokémon involved in the comparison couldn’t care less, largely because finneon’s attempts at flight generally leave actual beautifly rather unimpressed.

Lumineon
The Neon Pokémon
Type: Water
Official Registration #: 457
Entry: The evolved form of finneon, by battle experience. Using its pectoral fins, this butterflyfish-like pokémon crawls across the ocean floor to avoid predators. As it crawls, it lights up patterns on its large, billowing tail fins to attract prey. In this manner, it competes with lanturn, who uses similar mechanisms to hunt, dwells in the same general habitat, and is also in a pokémon family frequently compared to a completely different creature. However, given the fact that lanturn can emit powerful electrical attacks and the fact that lumineon boasts no resistance to said electrical attacks whatsoever, lanturn are generally about as impressed with lumineon as beautifly are with finneon. Which is to say, not at all, regardless of how much the poor things try.

Gulpin and Swalot

Gulpin
The Stomach Pokémon
Type: Poison
Official Registration #: 316
Entry: The rubbery body of this foot-tall, sac-like pokémon consists of a large stomach but small heart, brain, and other internal organs. Thus, it thinks of very little else besides consuming anything in front of it. The enzymes contained within its stomach are so corrosive they may dissolve practically anything, including solid metal. Needless to say, as it digests, the breakdown of said objects may release gases that are extremely foul-smelling in nature. It is thus a pokémon that only thinks about food and releases foul-smelling odors at random intervals … or, in other words, the perfect pokémon representation of that one roommate you may have had in college.

Swalot
The Poison Bag Pokémon
Type: Poison
Official Registration #: 317
Entry: The evolved form of gulpin, by battle experience. This formidable pokémon is known for its hunting habits. When it encounters potential prey (which is to say, more or less anything that moves and can fit in its mouth), it sprays an acidic, toxic fluid from its skin to weaken and paralyze the object. Once its prey is weakened, swalot will scoop it up with its cavernous mouth and swallow it whole, to be digested within its sizable, rubbery stomach. At this point, the author would like to share that he is well aware that, like the entry on lopunny, this is also something that induces thoughts of questionable virtue among some of his readers. Therefore, he would like to restate that if you happen to be one of those people, the author is not going to judge you for your interests, but he would prefer it if he didn’t know about which of you this would apply to.

Buneary and Lopunny

Buneary
The Rabbit Pokémon
Type: Normal
Official Registration #: 427
Entry: A foot-tall, rabbit-like pokémon native to temperate forests. It’s easy to determine the mood of a buneary by its body language, particularly regarding its ears. If its ears are relaxed and extended (particularly if this is coupled with a “flop,” or an act in which the buneary dramatically flips onto its side), then the buneary feels safe, loved, and relaxed, and it’s fine to engage with it. If, however, the buneary is tense, drawing its entire body up into a ball, and curling its ears, then it feels threatened, and a human should approach with caution. Certainly, it may seem odd that the author would advise caution when approaching anything so small and adorable, but it’s worth it to note that buneary are capable of extending their ears in lightning-fast punches capable of shattering boulders … and that the human nose and jaw are far, far less resilient than a boulder.

Lopunny
The Rabbit Pokémon
Type: Normal
Official Registration #: 428
Entry: The evolved form of buneary, as a result of a heightened sense of happiness. This tall, slender rabbit pokémon has delicate, sensitive ears and long, powerful legs. If one touches their ears, lopunny will lash out with strong kicks. Additionally, these pokémon are cautious to the extreme, and they will often hide behind their long, elegant ears when they sense danger. Between the length of their legs and the sensuous poses they need to strike in order to hide themselves behind their ears, the author would like to take this particular moment to remind his readers that lopunny are rabbit-like pokémon and that if this doesn’t change the thought processes of those of you who know who they are, the author would prefer it if you didn’t tell him.

Chinchou and Lanturn

Chinchou
The Angler Pokémon
Type: Water/Electric
Official Registration #: 170
Entry: A small, anglerfish-like pokémon that lives in the depths of the ocean. Due to its habitat in the deepest, darkest parts of the ocean, chinchou rely on the light they emit from their dual antennae to attract prey and to communicate with other chinchou. They illuminate these antennae by channeling electrical energy through their wire-like stalks, straight to their bulbs. Given the fact that these pokémon are exclusively oceanic and given salt water’s tendency to conduct electricity, one would think that a pokémon generating enough electricity to illuminate two bulbs for extended periods of time would be extremely dangerous, but in actuality, this process only leaves a chinchou with a slight tingling sensation as a result. On the other hand, it electrocutes everything (except other chinchou) within a ten-foot radius of the chinchou in question, but at least the chinchou itself is fine.

Lanturn
The Light Pokémon
Type: Water/Electric
Official Registration #: 171
Entry: The evolved form of chinchou, by battle experience. Known for the brilliant light it emits from its antennae, lanturn is referred to colloquially as “the sea-star”—a reputation that is largely uncontested by the starmie it shares its habitat with, largely because starmie know exactly how weak to Discharges they are. Contrary to popular belief, lanturn do not produce their light—which is so bright that it can illuminate the surface even if the lanturn is three miles deep—from electrical currents. Instead, lanturn produce their light through chemical reactions between the bodily fluids and symbiotic bacteria contained within its antenna bulbs. This, of course, conserves electrical energy, which is of great benefit to lanturn in the event that a starmie would like to object to lanturn’s colloquial name.

Relicanth

Relicanth
The Longevity Pokémon
Type: Water/Rock
Official Registration #: 369
Entry: This rare, coelacanth-like pokémon is considered a living fossil. In the 100 million years that it has existed in the deep seas of Hoenn, it has not changed in the slightest. While civilizations, species, and even its own environment itself have changed with the passing of eons, relicanth continued onward through time, surviving just as its ancestors had in the Cretaceous Period. Thus, remember, readers. No matter how harsh the world is around you, do as the relicanth does and remember that it’s relicanth, not relican’tth.

Zigzagoon and Linoone

Zigzagoon
The Tiny Raccoon Pokémon
Type: Normal
Official Registration #: 263
Entry: This small, raccoon-like pokémon possesses both an insatiable sense of curiosity and rough, barb-like hairs that stick to objects. As it wanders, it marks its territory by rubbing up against objects and shedding hairs, but if an object sticks to its body as a result, it brings these back to its nest to add to its collection. For some trainers, this can be a good thing, as zigzagoon will bring back objects that may be useful to their journey, such as stones or berries. For other trainers, this can be a bad thing, as zigzagoon will bring back objects that may be slightly less useful to their journey … such as other trainers’ badges and equipment.

Linoone
The Rushing Pokémon
Type: Normal
Official Registration #: 264
Entry: The evolved form of zigzagoon, by battle experience. Linoone charge at prey with overwhelming speeds, hoping to catch them off-guard. Unfortunately, despite its high speeds, linoone can only run in a straight line, which means they frequently miss their targets. One would think that it would be prudent to inform a linoone that if it turned, it may be slightly more successful, but to be frank, when a seventy-pound object with sharp claws and teeth is hurtling towards a person at sixty miles an hour, giving that object constructive criticism has the unfortunate tendency to be the last thing on their mind.

Spoink and Grumpig

Spoink
The Bounce Pokémon
Type: Psychic
Official Registration #: 325
Entry: A small, pig-like pokémon native to mountainous regions. The pearl on its head, which is collected from regional clamperl, amplifies its telekinetic abilities greatly. Most spoink spend their entire lives searching for even better pearls … which is understandable, seeing as clamperl are obviously not native to spoink’s natural mountainous habitat. (How wild spoink managed to get their first pearls is both a mystery and a subject of pokémonological interest.)

Grumpig
The Manipulate Pokémon
Type: Psychic
Official Registration #: 326
Entry: The evolved form of spoink, by battle experience. Grumpig control targets by channeling telekinetic forces through their black pearls and doing a hypnotic dance. The dance is so alluring, so irresistible, so inescapable that the moment a grumpig performs it on a single human, every other human in the area will flock to them and dance along with it. For this reason, the dance itself has become hugely popular overseas and is often performed at events, regardless of whether or not a grumpig is present for the festivities. This is especially so in Unova, where the dance is known by locals as the “Electric Slide.”