Can you do the Lillipup line, please?

Ah, the lillipup line! Puppy-like lines are certainly some of the most fascinating, although I must say that lillipup isn’t quite as scientifically curious as eevee. Nonetheless…

Lillipup
The Puppy Pokémon
Type: Normal
Official Registration #: 506
Entry: According to the Unovan pokédex, this small, terrier-like pokémon is both brave and intelligent. When faced with an opponent of equal or lesser strength than itself, it will attack to defend its trainer from harm. However, when faced with an opponent of greater strength than itself, it will acknowledge its opponent’s strength and run away. Unfortunately, however, this is only what it does in theory. In practice, lillipup are small, tenacious pokémon that will bark and charge at anything, regardless of power. While this may sound adorable, the author should warn you that this means anything and that it would be extremely prudent to keep lillipup away from anything that may charge a trainer as well. Such as bouffalant.

Herdier
The Loyal Dog Pokémon
Type: Normal
Official Registration #: 507
Entry: The evolved form of lillipup, by battle experience. As herdier grows, the black, cape-like fur on its back hardens and thickens to form a cushion against any blow it may receive. Each hair is coarse, and the older a herdier gets, the coarser and more needle-like these hairs become. It should also be noted that while herdier normally do not shed excessively, the occasional hair loss is normal … which is to say, it may be prudent to get rid of any and all carpeting in your home.

Stoutland
The Big-Hearted Pokémon
Type: Normal
Official Registration #: 508
Entry: The evolved form of herdier, by battle experience. Although many people outside of the research community believe stoutland’s species name refers to its kindness and bravery (traits inferred from its tendency to seek out and rescue lost humans and pokémon in even the fiercest mountainous blizzards), in actuality, it stems from its literal abnormally large heart, which can weigh up to 1.2% of its body weight—possibly even more for those that exercise particularly vigorously. How a three-foot-tall dog can have a heart that large without telekinetic assistance or suffering the effects of abnormally high blood pressure or other coronary issues is still a matter of scientific debate and fascination.

Hey, can you write something on Noibat and Noivern? :D

Certainly!

Noibat
The Sound Wave Pokémon
Type: Flying/Dragon
Official Registration #: 714
Entry: A small, bat-like pokémon native to the most remote Kalosean cave systems. Noibat thrive in the deepest parts of a cave system and only come out during the darkest parts of the night in order to hunt for insects and forage for fruits in peace. It navigates both the darkness of its labyrinthine home and the pitch black of its hunting grounds by using echolocation combined with the uniquely potent ultrasonic waves that noibat are infamous for. Clocking in at 200 kHz, noibat’s cries cannot be heard by the human ear but can be felt on an intrinsic level and have been known to render even the hardiest human incapacitated. These cries also explain why zubat, who also use echolocation and possess sensitive hearing, are not native to caves where noibat live … and why bringing a noibat with you to caves where zubat do live will make you a very popular trainer very quickly.

Noivern
The Sound Wave Pokémon
Type: Flying/Dragon
Official Registration #: 715
Entry: The evolved form of noibat, by battle experience. Because of its alarming appearance and the fact that—like the hematophagous crobat—it is a bat-like pokémon, noivern has cultivated a negative cultural reputation. There are many stories of noivern swooping into homes in the night to suck blood from unsuspecting humans, and even in modern times, noivern is irrevocably intertwined with the legend of the vampire. However, trainers should rest assured that noivern is primarily a frugavore, with much of its diet consisting of berries with the occasional supplement of insect-based protein, regardless of what the Kalosean pokédex would have you believe. In fact, noivern is actually rather docile and avoids human contact if at all possible, unless tamed—at which point, it becomes a fiercely loyal pokémon known for its nocturnal battling abilities and eagerness to please. Crobat, on the other hand…

The Burmy Line

Burmy
The Bagworm Pokémon
Type: Bug
Official Registration #: 412
Entry: A small, larval pokémon native to Sinnohan forests. Burmy’s actual body is small and fragile, so it covers itself with anything within reach to create a cloak capable of softening blows against it as well as camouflaging it in its immediate environment. Additionally, “within reach” does, in fact, mean within reach, so burmy that find themselves in urban environments frequently use trash to cover themselves. It is possibly for this reason that this small, fragile creature known for burying itself in trash has become a symbol for the users of certain social media platforms on the internet.

Wormadam
The Bagworm Pokémon
Type: Bug/Grass or Bug/Ground or Bug/Steel
Official Registration #: 413
Entry: The evolved form of female burmy, by battle experience. Somehow, the process of evolution fuses a newly formed female burmy to her coat, resulting in a wormadam that is permanently covered in leaves, stones, or other conveniently placed debris. Thus, there are indeed wormadam permanently fused to a coat of trash, which some users on the aforementioned social media platform have said makes this pokémon even more relatable.

Mothim
The Moth Pokémon
Type: Bug/Flying
Official Registration #: 414
Entry: The evolved form of male burmy, by battle experience. Upon evolution, male burmy break free from their cloaks and fly on gigantic wings across the region. This act of breaking free then allows mothim the utmost maneuverability, which in turn gives him the ability to steal honey from combee, chase down and mate with any wormadam he comes across, and make his home anywhere without needing to build a nest. It is for all three reasons that some users on the aforementioned social media platforms believe that “mothim’s trash cloak is on the inside.”

Kecleon

Kecleon
The Color Swap Pokémon
Type: Normal
Official Registration #: 352
Entry: A large, chameleon-like pokémon native to the jungles of Hoenn. According to songs used far too often in the drunken karaoke bars of Sinnoh, kecleon “come and go, come and go.” Furthermore, “loving one would be easy if their colors were like my dream: red, gold, and green; red, gold, and green.”

Bill, first, I am certain we don’t have the rights to that song, not that most people would know it anyway. Second, stop. —LH

The Blitzle Line

Blitzle
The Electrified Pokémon
Type: Electric
Official Registration #: 522
Entry: A zebra-like pokémon native to the grasslands of Unova. Shockingly for a newborn pokémon, blitzle have full mastery of their elemental discharges and can use its habit of glowing when charging its electrifyingly bright mane and stripes with electricity to communicate with other members of the blitzle line soon after birth. What do they talk about? Current events, naturally. In fact, the life of a blitzle is quite exciting. They’re hardly ever static. One could even say they’re [THE REST OF THIS POST HAS BEEN CENSORED FOR INCREASINGLY HORRIFIC PUNS. WE APOLOGIZE FOR THE INCONVENIENCE.]

Zebstrika
The Thunderbolt Pokémon
Type: Electric
Official Registration #: 523
Entry: The evolved form of blitzle, by battle experience. Research has been conducted into whether or not zebstrika and rapidash are close relatives, as both are equine pokémon of similar height, both belong to the same egg group, and both have a tendency to unleash their respective elements onto riders they don’t particularly care for.

The Fletchling Line

Fletchling
The Tiny Robin Pokémon
Type: Normal/Flying
Official Registration #: 661
Entry: A small songbird pokémon native to the fields of Kalos. Fletchling is famous for its intricate dances and beautiful songs, which it uses in combination to perform what is objectively considered to be the cutest form of communication in the pokémon world. The author would go on to say that, despite the fact that fletchling is considered to be cute, it is somehow one of the most vicious and territorial pokémon in the Kalos region, but to be frank, many of you have been following this blog long enough to know that this is exactly what to expect from it.

Fletchinder
The Ember Pokémon
Type: Fire/Flying
Official Registration #: 662
Entry: The evolved form of fletchling, by battle experience. Using its newly acquired fire element, fletchinder hunt by setting tall grasses on fire and pouncing on whatever flees from the flames … because the pokémon kingdom is a brutal and often horrifying concept, which is exactly what many researchers consider to be fascinating about it.

Talonflame
The Scorching Pokémon
Type: Fire/Flying
Official Registration #: 663
Entry: The evolved form of fletchinder, by battle experience. With diving speeds of up to 310 miles per hour, talonflame is among the fastest pokémon in existence. In the excitement of a battle, it uses both this and its ability to expel fire from the spaces between its feathers to overwhelm and devastate its opponents … or to burn down whatever parts of a field its preevolved form has yet to set ablaze.

The Bonsly Line

Bonsly
The Bonsai Pokémon
Type: Rock
Official Registration #: 438
Entry: A short, artificial tree-like pokémon. Native to more arid climates, bonsly struggle in humid heat and thus expel water through their eyes in order to regulate body moisture levels. This process is often accompanied by cries that are so plaintive and baby-like that some humans have been known to run to a “crying” bonsly and proceed to dote on them. Some bonsly are also known to use this to their advantage for the sake of getting spoiled by humans, such as in the case of one particular research subject that was temporarily in the care of a good friend of the author’s.

Before you continue to make fun of me for falling for one bonsly, Bill, may I remind you that you do this to literally every eevee in your care? —LH

Sudowoodo
The Imitation Pokémon
Type: Rock
Official Registration #: 185
Entry: The evolved form of bonsly, by battle experience, if the subject knows Mimic. A tall, artificial tree-like pokémon. When attacked, sudowoodo will drop everything, stand among the closest trees, and cease moving in an effort to blend in with its surrounding forest. This tactic is surprisingly very effective, despite the facts that a sudowoodo’s skin is very clearly rock, that it possesses a face, and that it will often use this tactic even when closely pursued by its attacker.

How about rating Poliwag? Because Poliwag is the cutest and deserves 2 thumbs up

Indeed it does, good reader! Thank you for your patience for this entry while we finished the starters series, incidentally.

Poliwag
The Tadpole Pokémon
Type: Water
Official Registration #: 60
Entry: Newly hatched, a poliwag possesses underdeveloped skin through which one can see its black, spiral-like internal organs. It is therefore possible to watch food pass through its digestive system, which is a point of fascination to both novice students of biology and pokémon nutrition … as well as certain facets of the internet consisting of talented artists with rather interesting tastes.

Poliwhirl
The Tadpole Pokémon
Type: Water
Official Registration #: 61
Entry: The evolved form of poliwag, by battle experience. Poliwhirl’s internal organs are not only visible beneath its translucent skin (as are both poliwag’s and poliwrath’s), but these organs also undulate subtly with its every heartbeat, which induces a hypnotic effect in observing humans. Additionally, in order to protect itself, poliwhirl secrete a mucus that makes its body slippery and contains very mild hallucinogenic properties. Finally, because of its prevalence in the clear lakes of Kanto and Johto, poliwhirl are highly popular among college students looking for a cheap and easily obtainable pet … which the author is assured has absolutely nothing to do with the first two facts whatsoever. He doesn’t even know why he added those facts; that was really weird.

Poliwrath
The Tadpole Pokémon
Type: Water/Fighting
Official Registration #: 62
Entry: The evolved form of poliwhirl, by exposure to water stone. Poliwrath possesses many of the qualities of its past forms, including a visible digestive system and the ability to produce mucus, in addition to a highly developed muscular system that it only obtains upon evolution. While the following act was popular in the past, it is highly inadvisable to lick a poliwrath (in order to access its mucus’s hallucinogenic properties), not because this is awkward and highly uncomfortable for the pokémon nor because large doses of the chemical that induces hallucinations could be toxic to humans but instead because one should perhaps not lick something that can do the front crawl or breaststroke nonstop across the Pacific Ocean without its express permission. (Why you would consider doing this in the first place is, of course, a complete mystery to the author and is certainly not something he has ever done himself.)

Politoed
The Frog Pokémon
Type: Water
Official Registration #: 186
Entry: The evolved form of poliwhirl, when traded while the subject is holding a king’s rock. Among other members of the poliwag line, politoed is considered to be a “king,” likely because of the rarity and difficulty in obtaining a king’s rock; only the strongest poliwhirl may be able to do it. Likewise, as the curl on its head is related to the specimen’s health, the longer the curl, the stronger the politoed, and the stronger the politoed, the higher up in the poliwag clan hierarchy it is. This all is, of course, highly majestic among the pokémon kingdom, yet to humans, politoed is considered to be “that pokémon you dissect in high school biology”—or, to the Kaloseans “delicious when lightly fried with shallots.”

The Froakie Line

Froakie
The Bubble Frog Pokémon
Type: Water
Official Registration #: 656
Entry: One of three pokémon traditionally offered to new trainers at the beginning of their journeys in Kalos. True to their species name, froakie are known for their tendency to protect their delicate skin with bubbles. However, skin protection is just one of the many uses for these bubbles. Another use is, of course, to protect a froakie’s eggs when mating, and the foam itself is typically generated early in the fertilization process when the male mounts the female to agitate her foam sacs. Thus, trainers, when you find your male froakie hugging your female froakie from behind to create a cloud of bubbles, rest assured that there will soon be a daycare owner who will tell you that an egg has suddenly appeared and that he has no idea how it might have gotten there.

Frogadier
The Bubble Frog Pokémon
Type: Water
Official Registration #: 657
Entry: The evolved form of froakie, by battle experience. Supposedly, frogadier possess unparalleled speed and dexterity that enable it to achieve incredible feats of agility. For example, according to one report, a frogadier owned by a Kalosean researcher has been found to be capable of scaling a 2000-foot tower within a minute. Of course, considering the fact that Kalos’s tallest structure, the Prism Tower, is only 1062 feet in height, how this specific ability has been tested is a very good question.

Greninja
The Ninja Pokémon
Type: Water/Dark
Official Registration #: 658
Entry: The evolved form of frogadier, by battle experience. Gifted with ninja-like skills, greninja can appear from seemingly nowhere and generate a barrage of throwing stars made of compressed water. Incidentally, yes, these stars can, in fact, shear through metal; yes, the author has learned this the hard way; and yes, he has not yet forgotten that a certain Kalosean professor owes him quite a sum of money for the destruction of one rental motorbike thanks to his protege’s greninja.

The Fennekin Line

Fennekin
The Fox Pokémon
Type: Fire
Official Registration #: 653
Entry: One of three pokémon traditionally offered to new trainers at the beginning of their journeys in Kalos. Fennekin are popular starters for their adorable appearances and behaviors. They are frequently found trailing after larger pokémon or their trainers while chewing cutely on twigs they find along Kalosean forest paths. These twigs fuel fennekin’s internal fires, so in order to combat this, they shake their large ears cutely in order to expel hot air. Considering the number of cute traits and the species’ identity as a fire fox, it should be worth it to note that the vulpix line, a fellow fire fox evolutionary tree noted for their vain dispositions, do not get along with fennekin and have been known to engage in vicious physical assaults on fennekn out of jealousy, despite the fact that the two lines are actually distantly related. Therefore, it is ill-advised to leave a fennekin in the same room as a vulpix. Unless, of course, you happen to be the sort of trainer who is somehow entertained by reality shows such as Undella Shore and Real Housewives of Orre … at which point the author respectfully asks you to relinquish your trainer’s license at the nearest pokémon center.

Braixen
The Fox Pokémon
Type: Fire
Official Registration #: 654
Entry: The evolved form of fennekin, by battle experience. This bipedal fox-like pokémon keeps a twig in its bushy tail when not engaged in battle or in the vicinity of fellow members of the fennekin line. In either condition, the braixen unsheathes this twig, the tip of which—as a result of friction against its stiff, flint-like hairs—catches on fire as soon as it’s fully drawn. Once lit, braixen may use this light to communicate with its fellow pokémon by waving its twig in elaborate patterns before it. A visual representation of multiple braixen communicating by twig fire with one another may be seen here.

Delphox
The Fox Pokémon
Type: Fire/Psychic
Official Registration #: 655
Entry: The evolved form of braixen, by battle experience. A five-foot-tall fox gifted with powerful flame and psychic abilities, delphox’s signature attack involves combining its elements to create a vortex of fire that reaches temperatures of up to 5400 degrees Fahrenheit. In theory, this attack draws in its opponents and inflicts a devastating blow of the fire element. In practice, given the fact that a vortex of hot air creates a powerful vacuum, this attack draws in literally anything around it save for itself and inflicts a devastating amount of property damage.