Hoothoot and Noctowl

Hoothoot
The Owl Pokémon
Type: Normal/Flying
Official Registration #: 163
Entry: A small, owl-like pokémon native to Johtonian forests. Its brain and equilibrium organs have the capability of keeping perfect time by sensing the rotation of the planet. As it keeps time, it hoots softly and bobs back and forth in perfect time with its internal clock. Because of its accuracy, some trainers, especially in hoothoot’s native region, prefer keeping hoothoot instead of alarm clocks, as hoothoot will be able to awaken a trainer precisely on time, no matter where the trainer is located. However, be warned: a hoothoot’s preferred method of rousing a trainer is repeatedly executing Peck on one’s face, and hoothoot do not necessarily understand the concept of “please do not wake me with Peck tomorrow for the love of Ho-oh.”

Noctowl
The Owl Pokémon
Type: Normal/Flying
Official Registration #: 164
Entry: The evolved form of hoothoot, by battle experience. According to some cultures, especially those in the West, noctowl are thought to be extremely intelligent beings, and thus, they are symbols of wisdom in those countries. However, the idea that noctowl possesses an inordinate amount of wisdom is actually a myth. Noctowl are actually about as intelligent, if not less intelligent, than the average bird, and in Johto, they are actually more known for flying into windows, despite their heightened ability to see in the dark.

Misdreavus and Mismagius

Misdreavus
The Screech Pokémon
Type: Ghost
Official Registration #: 200
Entry: A small banshee pokémon native to the forests of Sinnoh and the mountains of Johto. Mischievous by nature, misdreavus enjoys sneaking up on humans and either playing pranks on them or startling them with their sob-like cries. Misdreavus then feed on the ensuing fear it generates through its necklace-like orbs. In centuries past, misdreavus were common in the Johto region, to the point where locals created elaborate myths concerning women whose heads would come and terrorize their villages as they slept to explain the origin of misdreavus infestations. This may seem a little silly in modern times, but considering this is the same region that believed in giant bellsprout and sentient umbrellas, this is possibly the most mundane pokémon-related folklore its people had come up with.

Mismagius
The Magical Pokémon
Type: Ghost
Official Registration #: 429
Entry: The evolved form of misdreavus, by exposure to dark stone. Mismagius possess hypnotizing cries, which it uses to mesmerize prey. Chanting from just one of these pokémon may induce extremely realistic hallucinations—both terrifying and dreamlike—that can last for hours after the departure of the subject in question. Needless to say, mismagius tends to be a popular alternative to hallucinogens among the more open-minded youth and subcultures of the world … not that the author would know anything first-hand about that, as he most certainly has never engaged in anything mind-altering in college.

Maractus

Maractus
The Cactus Pokémon
Type: Grass
Official Registration #: 556
Entry: A cactus-like pokémon native to the Unovan desert. Jovial pokémon by nature, maractus travel in groups, with each individual maractus making festive rattling noises with every shift of their hollow limbs. Occasionally, particularly on cool nights, they burst into song and engage in a raucous party, behavior that causes pokémon to flee at the very sight of a wandering maractus. Although most researchers believe that fellow desert pokémon flee from these creatures because maractus have a tendency to burst into activity without any warning, anyone who has actually heard a maractus sing will have a better understanding of why a group of them would drive anyone who can hear away.

The Oddish Line

Oddish
The Weed Pokémon
Type: Grass/Poison
Official Registration #: 43
Entry: A short, raddish-like pokémon of the grass and poison types. Primarily nocturnal, oddish uproot themselves to wander at night and bury their heads in fertile soil during the day. Because oddish prefer well-watered, nutrient-rich soil to bury themselves in during the day, they sometimes wander into the gardens of humans, where they can sometimes be mistaken for weeds. However, it is very easy to tell the difference between a weed and an oddish if one observes carefully. For example, if the plant is shorter and does not move when you press your toe into the soil around it, then you have a weed. If, however, you pull it out and it screams with unholy shrieks not unlike those of demonic children, then you have found an oddish.

Gloom
The Weed Pokémon
Type: Grass/Poison
Official Registration #: 44
Entry: The evolved form of oddish, by battle experience. This flower-like pokémon is most known for its potent stench. Even a smaller, younger gloom can generate a smell capable of overwhelming a human up to two miles away. However, this smell is really a defense mechanism; gloom do not produce this stench if kept calm and in trusted company. If a gloom reaches this state, then the nectar within its bulbous flower may be gathered for a variety of purposes … most notably in the production of perfume, as the human cosmetic industry is very fond of irony, apparently.

Vileplume
The Flower Pokémon
Type: Grass/Poison
Official Registration #: 45
Entry: The evolved form of gloom, by exposure to leaf stone. Vileplume boast some of the largest and most beautiful flowers in the pokémon kingdom. However, these flowers bloom violently, with a boom and a cloud of extremely toxic pollen—the latter of which can cause severe allergic reactions in even humans who have had no prior history of pollen allergies. It should also be noted that this is the vileplume’s primary mode of reproduction and intercourse with fellow vileplume, so trainers should take caution, lest they wish to have possibly the least dignified methods of death possible for a trainer.

Bellossom
The Flower Pokémon
Type: Grass
Official Registration #: 182
Entry: The evolved form of gloom, by exposure to sun stone. When exposed to high amounts of sunlight, bellossom open their flowers and begin to dance, which causes their leaves to rub together and emit a pleasant ringing sound. Prior to the discovery of the sun stone, bellossom was thought to be a completely unrelated species to gloom—which, given the fact that it is, in actuality, smaller, vastly different in appearance, and not even a poison-type, is understandable. On that note, it is possibly best not to think too hard about why larger, smellier gloom produce smaller, more beautiful bellossom. This question has driven more than one researcher into ruin.

Bronzor and Bronzong

Bronzor
The Bronze Pokémon
Type: Steel/Psychic
Official Registration #: 436
Entry: A reflective pokémon created by the ancient Sinnohans. The markings on its back form an intricate pattern, and its entire body had, at one point, been highly reflective. Given both of these, some researchers believe that bronzor served decorative purposes in temples and the homes of the wealthy. However, the fact that it was imbued with telekinetic abilities, combined with its perfectly flat surface and its prevalence more in wealthy homes than in sacred places, seem to suggest that bronzor would have also made a rather nice floating hors d’oeuvres plate instead. (The ancients, it is said, were highly respectful to natural pokémon. Pokémon they’ve created themselves, however … possibly less so.)

Bronzong
The Bronze Bell Pokémon
Type: Steel/Psychic
Official Registration #: 437
Entry: The evolved form of bronzor, by battle experience. Bronzong are sacred bell pokémon whose ringing is said to possess the power to open portals and summon rain from other places. Thus, in ancient times, bronzong was worshipped as a spirit of the harvest, and sacrifices were often made to it as a way of encouraging it to summon rain so that villages may have plentiful harvests. In modern times, these pokémon are typically found buried underneath sites that had once been ancient Sinnoah villages, indicating that perhaps not all of their attempts to bring rain were successful.

Shellos and Gastrodon

Shellos
The Sea Slug Pokémon
Type: Water
Official Registration #: 422
Entry: A colorful gastropod pokémon that live in a wide variety of warm, shallow seas. Shellos colors vary from sea to sea, depending on the composition and temperature of the sea itself, as well as other factors, such as the primary species of local coral. Contrary to popular belief, shellos are not the pokémon that possess the ability to expel their stomachs as a defense mechanism and unique digestive technique. Rather, they are the pokémon that possess brightly-colored stinging cells armed with toxic venom that is capable of paralyzing predators that attempt to grasp its slippery body too roughly … a fact that, conveniently, is conveyed through a warning in the form of shellos’s brilliant coloration.

Gastrodon
The Sea Slug Pokémon
Type: Water/Ground
Official Registration #: 423
Entry: The evolved form of shellos, by battle experience. A large, sea hare pokémon, gastrodon are herbivorous, docile creatures that roam the beds of shallow seas, hunting for seaweed. They are most notable for their defense mechanism: the ability to spray a cloud of purple ooze that is somehow more viscous and difficult to handle than even octillery ink. Studies show that gastrodon once had a rock-hard shell as well, but to be frank, when you evolve the ability to blind unwitting bystanders, such as an admittedly overzealous researcher, in waters you share with tentacruel and sharpedo, a shell would be somewhat excessive.

Heatmor and Durant

Heatmor
The Anteater Pokémon
Type: Fire
Official Registration #: 631
Entry: An anteater pokémon that lives in caves. Using its narrow snout and its flame-spewing abilities, heatmor is able to reach into the burrows of its primary food source and kill off massive amounts of durant at one time using just one Flamethrower. Unfortunately, seeing as this move would kill entire durant nests before any of heatmor’s prey moved close enough to the opening of their burrows and seeing as heatmor can’t actually learn any moves it can use to excavate its meals, this narrow snout, combined with literal fire powers, may not be the wisest adaptation for heatmor to have.

Durant
The Iron Ant Pokémon
Type: Bug/Steel
Official Registration #: 632
Entry: An ant-like pokémon that lives in caves. Using its durable pincers, durant carves twisting nests deep into rock walls. This, combined with its ability to reinforce its metal armor and its tendency to band together in massive waves, helps it to protect itself and its young from its only natural predator, heatmor. Unfortunately, heatmor have the ability to exhale streams of fire that can follow these narrow corridors right to the heart of durant colonies, which is to say that perhaps these were not the wisest survival adaptations for durant to have.

Panpour and Simipour

Panpour
The Spray Pokémon
Type: Water
Official Registration #: 515
Entry: A monkey-like pokémon native to Unovan rivers and lakes. It uses the spongy tuft on its head to store water, which it uses to hydrate the plants and pokémon it comes across as it travels. Plants are said to thrive unusually well when watered with a panpour’s reserves, and given both this, the fact that this sponge is attached to panpour’s body, and this tuft’s ability to maintain its moisture even in dry heat, it is possibly best not to think too much about where this water is coming from.

Simipour
The Geyser Pokémon
Type: Water
Official Registration #: 516
Entry: The evolved form of panpour, by exposure to water stone. A monkey-like pokémon with an affinity for clean water sources. Its tail has unique properties: not only is the tuft at the end capable of siphoning up water when simipour’s reserves run dry, but also, it has the capability of expelling water with enough force to shatter a concrete wall. For those of you who were expecting the inclusion of a joke about how a monkey’s backside is capable of shooting a geyser strong enough to destroy concrete, rest assured that the author is not the Sinnohan storage system administrator and therefore has a little more class than that.

Pansear and Simisear

Pansear
The High Temp Pokémon
Type: Fire
Official Registration #: 513
Entry: A monkey-like pokémon native to Unovan volcanoes. …Or it is according to the Unovan pokédex, which is fantastically interesting, seeing as Unova doesn’t even have volcanoes…

Simisear
The Ember Pokémon
Type: Fire
Official Registration #: 514
Entry: The evolved form of pansear, by exposure to fire stone. This excitable pokémon is possibly the easiest among the three Unovan monkeys to please, as it adores any kind of sweet and will adore anyone who supplies them with sugar. However, trainers should be cautioned against giving their simisear sugar, as sweets also fuels simisear’s fire and energetic personality, which in turn means a simisear on a sugar high is more liable to launch fireballs at anything within range of its long-distance attacks.

Pansage and Simisage

Pansage
The Grass Monkey Pokémon
Type: Grass
Official Registration #: 511
Entry: A monkey-like pokémon native to Unovan forests. As a creature of the grass element, the average pansage is capable of growing plant-like structures from its body. In its case, a pansage’s hair is actually made up of a certain type of herb known for soothing stress and energizing an imbiber. On the one hand, this leaf, when brewed with boiling water, makes a fantastic tea. On the other, you have to consume this leaf knowing that you are eating monkey hair … which, the author supposes, is probably the least worrisome thing to anyone who regularly imbibes soothing herbs, in all fairness.

Simisage
The Thorn Monkey Pokémon
Type: Grass
Official Registration #: 512
Entry: The evolved form of pansage, by exposure to leaf stone. Simisage is known for its wild temper, which drives it to thrash its thorn-covered tail at offending pokémon. Trainers should be warned that there are a variety of possible triggers for these tantrums, so proper precautions should be taken to keep these incidents at a bare minimum. However, it should also be noted that the leading cause of these tantrums seems to be objects, humans, or pokémon touching its tall but bitter-flavored hair. Which, to be fair, is fabulously styled, so in this author’s opinion, the reaction is perfectly understandable.