The Pidgey Line

Pidgey
The Tiny Bird Pokémon
Type: Normal/Flying
Official Registration #: 16
Entry: A small, normally docile pokémon that is extremely common to Kanto and Johto. As such, along with rattata, pidgey are typically among the first pokémon a beginning Kantonian trainer captures. This is made all the easier thanks to the fact that pidgey also prefer kicking up sand using low-powered gusts of wind at ground level before fleeing, rather than engaging in a proper battle, but its small wings and the amount of energy it expends in blinding its foe make it difficult to get away quickly. Still, as a pokémon not known for either its battle prowess or its defensive capabilities, it, too, tends to be permanently stored rather quickly, but as of late, it has enjoyed an upsurge in popularity, partly because of pidgeot’s newly discovered mega evolution and partly because, according to the internet, it is “an adorable birb” who “wears leaf for enhance its beauties.”

Pidgeotto
The ~~Birb~~ Bird Pokémon
Type: Normal/Flying
Official Registration #: 17
Entry: The evolved form of pidgey, by battle experience. Like many other pokémon, evolution grants pidgeotto more confidence and aggression. It goes from being a docile pokémon to a highly territorial one that tends to claim a large swath of land as its home. Additionally, it possesses keen eyesight and the ability to swoop down onto prey from great heights and snatch its target with deadly claws. However, what it has not outgrown from its days as a pidgey is its love for bread, so travelers hiking through Kanto should beware when carrying sandwiches.

Pidgeot
The Bird Pokémon
Type: Normal/Flying
Official Registration #: 18
Entry: The evolved form of pidgeotto, by battle experience. While pidgeotto’s aggression calms a bit upon evolution, its hunting behaviors otherwise remain the same. In fact, pidgeot’s sharpened eyesight, its ability to fly at Mach-2 speeds, and its capacity to generate hurricane-strength winds make pidgeot far more deadly than its much more hostile pre-evolution. Luckily, pidgeot only exist naturally in the mountains around Victory Road, so most trainers needn’t worry about the fate of their sandwiches. Strong trainers thinking of challenging the Elite Four, however, are a different matter, but by then, you might already be aware of the sizable list of pokémon that would also do unspeakable things to you for a sandwich and any fish-like meat inside it. In short, the deadliest object a trainer can carry with them throughout their journey is a tuna fish sandwich.

The Rattata Line

Rattata
The Mouse Pokémon
Type: Normal
Official Registration #: 19
Entry: As one of the most common pokémon in Kanto and Johto, rattata are typically among the first team members for many beginning trainers. Small, quick, cautious, hardy, and very fond of biting things with its large front teeth, rattata may be known for their survival skills in the wild, but its lack of elemental aptitude and its less-than-ideal defenses mean that rattata are among the most commonly “boxed” pokémon in existence. However, recently, rattata has gained popularity among younger trainers, not because of its cute appearance or its availability but instead because of the inexplicable trend among such trainers to obtain and raise the “top percentage rattata.”

Raticate
The Mouse Pokémon
Type: Normal
Official Registration #: 20
Entry: The evolved form of rattata, by battle experience. Raticate depend on its whiskers to maintain its balance, and while this pokémon may be quick and agile with its whiskers intact, cutting them off is a sure-fire way to slow and disorient a raticate. Incidentally, cutting off a raticate’s whiskers is also a sure-fire way to get mauled by a forty-pound rat with six-inch fangs.

Kanto Starters III: Squirtle

Squirtle
The Tiny Turtle Pokémon
Type: Water
Official Registration #: 7
Entry: One of three pokémon traditionally offered to new trainers at the beginning of their journeys in Kanto. As the most defensive of the three starters, squirtle is born with a shell that hardens to a rock-hard consistency as it grows older. It also has the ability to retract its softer head and limbs into this shell in order to protect itself as it uses its array of bubble- and water-jet-based attacks. That having been said, one of the most common questions posed about squirtle is “what does it look like without its shell,” and in order to answer all of them in one fell swoop, the writer would like to remind the general internet that a squirtle’s shell is actually an adapted ribcage and thus, a squirtle without its shell would look rather unfortunate.

Wartortle
The Turtle Pokémon
Type: Water
Official Registration #: 8
Entry: The evolved form of squirtle, by battle experience. Legend has it that healthy wartortle may live up to 10,000 years. This, of course, is not true; rather, it is a euphemism for two things. First, it refers to the wartortle’s resilience, particularly in the case of its shell. Upon evolution, a wartortle’s shell hardens and continues to harden, and much of wartortle’s battle style hinges on the use of its shell as both its armor and its shield. A battle-experienced wartortle will always sport a plethora of scratches across its rock-hard shell. As for the second point to the legend, it simply refers to humans’ inability to tell reptilian pokémon apart, as well as the wartortle’s general apathy towards being confused with its abundance of cousins and blood relatives.

Blastoise
The Shellfish Pokémon
Type: Water
Official Registration #: 9
Entry: The evolved form of wartortle, by battle experience. Blastoise tend to be extremely proud of its muscular bulk and water cannons, to the point where much of its battle techniques hinge on either throwing its weight at an opponent or drowning them with high-powered jets of water. When it comes to the latter, its aim is deadly accurate, and a well-trained blastoise is capable of shooting a target up to 160 feet away. Additionally, despite the fact that they lose their feather-like ears upon evolution, it should be noted that blastoise generally have excellent hearing. For example, if a blastoise whose trainer happens to be a researcher’s grandson is standing more than soccer field’s length away from said grandson right at the moment that another researcher advises him on specialized diets for blastoise that no longer participate in battling circuits, that young, well-meaning researcher should be aware that he can still be shot with a Hydro Pump from halfway across the laboratory’s preserve.

Kanto Starters II: Charmander

Charmander
The Lizard Pokémon
Type: Fire
Official Registration #: 4
Entry: One of three pokémon traditionally offered to new trainers at the beginning of their journeys in Kanto. Many people believe that out of the three, charmander are the hardest to raise. This is a fairly understandable statement. Charmander are naturally energetic, and their fire element means they don’t do well against Pewter or Cerulean’s gyms. More importantly, however, charmander are considered a challenge to raise because of the flame at the tip of their tails. A physical representation of charmander’s health and emotions, this flame must be meticulously kept, not only because allowing it to become extinguished would kill the host charmander but also because it is an actual flame that will react to Kanto’s abundance of fields full of dry, tall grass just about as well as you think it would.

Charmeleon
The Flame Pokémon
Type: Fire
Official Registration #: 5
Entry: The evolved form of charmander, by battle experience. Charmeleon are thought to be merciless, bloodthirsty pokémon that will attack foes with their sharp claws and intense flames. This is not necessarily true. While some charmeleon are indeed that aggressive, the vast majority of them are actually simply outgoing. It just so happens that the flame on a charmeleon’s tail grows hotter and taller whenever its host is excited, and charmeleon itself is a very excitable pokémon. As for the note concerning its claws, evidently, a charmeleon’s first instinct upon accidentally setting its new friends on fire with its tail is to smack the flames in an attempt to smother them with their hands. It’s just that charmeleon also unfortunately forget that they have claws, so their attempts to help are often not particularly helpful.

Charizard
The Flame Pokémon
Type: Fire/Flying
Official Registration #: 6
Entry: The evolved form of charmeleon, by battle experience. Stories throughout Europe tell of ancient charizard flying on giant wings and using its flame breath to burn the countryside, the peasants, and the people in their thatched-roof cottages. Only heroes brave enough and with water-types strong enough were able to vanquish this threat and bring peace to the land. Of course, the validity of these claims are debatable. While charizard’s preferred fighting style is indeed a combination of flying over its opponents and breathing flames that reach temperatures in excess of 1000 degrees, historical evidence seems to point to the notion that the stories concerning giant charizard terrorizing the countryside were made up by bored young men who would have liked to think they were braver, funnier, and more attractive than they actually were.

Kanto Starters I: Bulbasaur

@psychms: I just noticed you haven’t written about any of the regional starters! Can you tell us about your most memorable experience with a starter Pokémon (or its evolutions)?

Ah, keen observation! Starters are a bit special to a researcher, as we tend to associate them with new beginnings while maintaining our status as a ridiculously sentimental breed of people. In particular, I must say I’m closest to the Kantonian starters, in part because I consider one of my home regions to be Kanto and in part because, despite beginning my journey in Johto, my starter was a bulbasaur. While I could go on and on about the bulbasaur line, I hardly think it would be appropriate to only cover it and not the other two families. Thus, consider this to be part one of a three-part series.

Bulbasaur
The Seed Pokémon
Type: Grass/Poison
Official Registration #: 1
Entry: One of three pokémon traditionally offered to new trainers at the beginning of their journeys in Kanto. Many people believe that out of the three, bulbasaur is the easiest to raise, as bulbasaur are more docile than the other two, the species’ offensive and defensive traits are balanced, and a grass-type has more of an advantage against the earliest Kantonian gyms than a fire- or water-type. However, while all of this is true, such advice frequently forgets any word on what to do when you have a pokémon that learns Leech Seed, Stun Spore, Poison Powder, and Sleep Powder all basically at the same time. On that note, should you be a new trainer who finds himself with a rambunctious bulbasaur who enjoys showering you with “affection,” be sure to carry full heals. A lot of full heals. Do not buy anything but full heals until your bulbasaur evolves. You will thank me later.

Ivysaur
The Seed Pokémon
Type: Grass/Poison
Official Registration #: 2
Entry: The evolved form of bulbasaur, by battle experience. As it nears evolution into a venusaur, an ivysaur’s blossom grows larger and more fragrant to the point where it naturally emits a sweet, spicy fragrance strong enough to be detected from a distance. Thus, an ivysaur is the easiest among the three middle-evolution starters to evolve, not only because the weight of the bulb makes each ivysaur more eager to battle (in order to gain the strength needed to support its own flower) but also because the scent emitting from the blossom happens to be the exact kind of aroma that draws pokémon towards one in droves. That said, while ivysaur are still among the easiest pokémon to train, new and mediocre trainers should be warned that preventing an ivysaur from battling is nearly impossible and that many of your days may be spent being dragged through Viridian Forest by a charging ivysaur chased by a horde of beedrill.

Venusaur
The Seed Pokémon
Type: Grass/Poison
Official Registration #: 3
Entry: The evolved form of ivysaur, by battle experience. A venusaur’s evolution is among the most beautiful to occur within the pokémon world. When the time comes, an ivysaur will seek the sunniest clearing in a forest, crouch within beams of sunlight, and allow its flower to grow and bloom. Petal by petal will open, and its fragrance will become more intense and aromatic. The power of this sight and the soothing nature of its signature perfume will rejuvenate an observing trainer just as much as the venusaur experiencing it, which is worth it to note as a warning to both. While you may be tempted to run forward and embrace your long-time pokémon partner in a rush of mutual pride and elation, note that your venusaur has gone from being 29 pounds to over 220 and that it will use all 220 to affectionately tackle you before realizing that it is no longer the size and weight of a large dog.

Absol

[[Writer’s Note: In light of yesterday’s entry, I have been informed by my editor, partner, and dearest friend L.H. that I am not funny and that I am to apologize and write a proper entry in response to my equally dear follower, @anonabsolxwolf. Thus, I present to you, my readers, the entry for the day and my sincerest pleas for forgiveness. —Bill]]

Absol
The Disaster Pokémon
Type: Dark
Official Registration #: 359
Entry: A mountain-dwelling pokémon with the ability to foretell disasters. In ancient legend, absol—then referred to as the hakutaku—foretold that a deadly plague would sweep across the Hoenn region and that only a very specific herb found on the side of Mt. Pyre would be able to cure it. For this reason, Hoennians worshipped absol as a guardian spirit of herbal medicine for several centuries until modern Western medicine was introduced to the region. Absol’s prophecies for various natural disasters are still accurate, of course, but humanity has an unfortunate tendency to ignore voices of reason during times of desperation. In short, absol has gone from being a guardian spirit of herbal medicine to the patron saint of underappreciated minds whose reasonable advice goes unheeded by the Pokémon Association.

[[Editor’s Note: You are still not funny, Bill. —LH]]

Hello and good day, Bill! The reason I’m calling today is that I have been looking over your dex entries. And I couldn’t help but notice that you seem to be missing a particular Pokemon. A Pokemon that happens to be very important to me. I wonder if you could do me this favor? :)

Ah, yes. I believe I know exactly which pokémon you mean!

Bouffalant
The Bash Buffalo Pokémon
Type: Normal
Official Registration #: 626
Entry: A five-foot-tall buffalo pokémon known best for its luxurious mane of hair. The hair itself forms a perfect halo of soft curls that are capable of absorbing damage from almost any attack. Likewise, just as the beard of certain martial artists conceal a third fist with which they may deliver devastating punches, the hair of the bouffalant conceal a rock-hard, horn-like skull plate that adds an incredible amount of power to the species’ already deadly Head Charge attack. Indeed, the glistening, chestnut curls of this creature form the most beautiful hairstyle of any pokémon in existence. It is the hair that puts furfrou’s tamable fur coat to shame and makes milotic’s rainbow-colored scales look utterly dull by comparison. It is the mane of power, and no mere mortal is worthy to gaze upon its magnificence.

The Nidorino Line

Nidoran (male)
The Poison Pin Pokémon
Type: Poison
Official Registration #: 32
Entry: A small, rabbit-like pokémon. An interesting fact about nidoran is that the first pokémon ever to be recorded using the move Poison Pin were members of this and its sister species, hence why they’re both described as “poison pin” pokémon in the pokédex. Of course, the story of how Poison Pin was discovered is equally interesting. Evidently, male nidoran are very protective of female nidoran, and female nidoran have a tendency to fire Poison Pin in tandem with their mates when alarmed. Suffice to say, this writer’s father learned very quickly about the value of antidotes.

Nidorino
The Poison Pin Pokémon
Type: Poison
Official Registration #: 33
Entry: The evolved form of male nidoran, by battle experience. It is interesting to note that nidorina and nidorino have co-adapted for the express purpose of defending different parts of their shared territory. While it is the nidorina’s job to protect the burrow and young via defensive maneuvers, it is the nidorino’s job to protect the general area with highly aggressive offensive maneuvers. Additionally, nidorino are specially adapted to do this job well; while the barbs of many other members of the nidoran family are small and retractable, the barbs of nidorino are, at minimum, six-inch-long venomous horns of danger. This in itself is not necessarily terrifying, considering the fact that many pokémon possess fangs or horns of unreasonable lengths, but in nidorino’s case, these horns are coupled with a nasty temper and a rather unfortunate tendency to charge at anything that is not a member of the nidoran family.

Nidoking
The Drill Pokémon
Type: Poison/Ground
Official Registration #: 34
Entry: The evolved form of nidorino, by exposure to moon stone. True to his name, nidoking rule over nidoran territory, much as a human king would rule over his kingdom: with an iron fist, a penchant for violence, and an extreme fondness for imperialism. Whereas nidoqueen tend to be more focused on protecting their habitats by standing their ground and fighting off intruders, nidoking seem more content on fighting literally anything short of a nidoqueen and her young. This includes other nidoking, anything with a type advantage to nidoking, inanimate objects that happen to be in the way of a nidoking, and bystanding researchers traveling along roads that cut through nidoking territories. It should also be noted that although nidoking are referred to as the drill pokémon (which is an allusion to its drill-like horn), this creature’s preferred form of attack is by smashing things with his heavy, armor-plated tail, an appendage so powerful it is capable of smashing through the engine of a jeep … which this writer mentions as an off-handed example that has subsequently and incidentally been included in expense reports to the Pokémon Symposium.

Any notable encounters with the Nidoran line, Bill?

Ah, the Nidoran line. This may be a bit complicated because the male and female lines are so vastly different from one another that they’re officially considered to be separate species, so I’m afraid I’ll have to cover them on two separate days. Below is the first, and tomorrow will be the second.

Nidoran (female)
The Poison Pin Pokémon
Type: Poison
Official Registration #: 29
Entry: A small, rabbit-like pokémon. An interesting fact about nidoran is that the first pokémon ever to be recorded using the move Poison Pin were members of this and its brother species, hence why they’re both described as “poison pin” pokémon in the pokédex. Of course, the story of how Poison Pin was discovered is equally interesting. Evidently, male nidoran are very protective of female nidoran, and female nidoran have a tendency to fire Poison Pin in tandem with their mates when alarmed.

Nidorina
The Poison Pin Pokémon
Type: Poison
Official Registration #: 30
Entry: The evolved form of female nidoran, by battle experience. Upon evolution, nidorina and their brother evolution lose their ability to breed. However, make no mistake: nidorina still possess mothering instincts—such as, specifically, the tendency to unsheathe their barbs and emit ultrasonic cries when anything threatens their burrow and young. As a note, what the pokédex says about nidorina’s docile temperament is true except in the above mentioned case, but the trouble with pokédex entries is that they never accurately describe how frequently exceptions to the rule occur. For example, in this case, yes, nidorina are docile, but it is highly useful to know that all routes where nidorina thrive are literally covered in nidorina burrows. Thus, when traversing routes through nidorina territory, bring antidotes. A lot of antidotes.

Nidoqueen
The Drill Pokémon
Type: Poison/Ground
Official Registration #: 31
Entry: The evolved form of nidorina, by exposure to moon stone. Nidoqueen are large, bulky pokémon covered in rock-hard plates. Both nidoqueen’s size and skin are highly useful in defending its young from threats, which it does with pride and enthusiasm. On the positive side, moon stone is very rarely found in nidorina habitats, making nidoqueen a very rare evolution to find naturally. However, on the negative side, nidorina territories really only need one nidoqueen to defend them, and that nidoqueen very rarely travels far from human roads. Luckily, hospitals are likewise very rarely far from nidoqueen territories.

Love what you’re doing here. Would you consider doing an entry for Natu and Xatu? They’re one of my favorite underappreciated ‘mons. :D

Thank you! Terribly sorry for the delay. Natu and xatu are indeed fascinating pokémon.

Natu
The Tiny Bird Pokémon
Type: Psychic/Flying
Official Registration #: 177
Entry: As expected, natu is a tiny, bird-like pokémon known for its unblinking stare. It is said that natu are, indeed, constantly staring into the future, so its wide-eyed stare actually comes from the fact that it is not entirely paying attention to you as you stare at it but instead your future. This, combined with its underdeveloped wings, means natu is fairly easy to capture, as it will always be caught off-guard by your attempts to throw poké balls at it, and for it, escaping consists of hopping awkwardly away from you. Why it doesn’t simply notice that you’re about to capture it as it stares into your future (or why it never acts on any indication that you capture it) is still a complete mystery to the topmost scientists in the field of psychic pokémon research.

Xatu
The Mystic Pokémon
Type: Psychic/Flying
Official Registration #: 178
Entry: The evolved from of natu, by battle experience. Xatu is a large, four-foot-tall bird pokémon valued in various native South American cultures for its ability to see both the past and the future simultaneously—which, according to the peoples of that continent, explains why it constantly stares unflinchingly into the sun. While the ability to see both the past and the future simultaneously is indeed a useful ability, it has the nasty side effect of blinding a xatu to the present. Literally. Staring into the sun is generally a bad idea, and this writer would like to emphasize this point to any impressionable youth who may be reading this.