Heatran
The Lava Dome Pokémon
Type: Fire/Steel
Official Registration #: 485
Entry: According to Sinnoh lore, this large, golem-like pokémon is the guardian of caves, of mountains, and of magma—or, more simply, it’s the guardian of volcanoes. Up until recently, given the fact that it’s a bulky-looking, quadruped pokémon whose very roar caused volcanoes to erupt, Johtonians were fully convinced that Heatran was nothing more than a corruption or even mockery of their own legendary of volcanoes, Entei. Then it was discovered that, no, really, Heatran actually existed, and for the first time ever in the history of Johto-Sinnoh relations, Johtonians may or may not have said words that might have given someone else the impression that they were wrong about something and that they apologize.
Tag: pokémon
Sinnoh Legendaries: Part I
Shaymin
The Gratitude Pokémon
Type: Grass
Official Registration #: 492
Entry: According to Sinnoh lore, this small, hedgehog-like pokémon is the legendary of gratitude. Stories tell of its many abilities, most of which are in one way or another rewards for gracious humans. If it senses gratitude and love, it will dissolve the toxins in the air around it and cause entire fields to bloom with flowers and abundant greenery. If it’s given even a small offering of gracidea flowers, it will transform into a more powerful form capable of flight to become the defender of the people who worship it. And if it encounters gold rings, it will suddenly feel the need to paint itself blue, run really fast, and quip somewhat cheesy one-liners.
Hoenn Legendaries: Part V
Deoxys
The DNA Pokémon
Type: Psychic
Official Registration #: 386
Entry: This incredibly powerful pokémon originated from a free-floating virus in space that mutated as a result of exposure to cosmic rays. It has the ability to shoot lasers from the crystalline organ in its chest and shapeshift into one of three more powerful forms, in addition to potent psychokinetic abilities. This may sound like a concept fresh from a questionable science-fiction movie, but the author assures you this a thing that exists.
Hoenn Legendaries, Part IV
Kyogre
The Sea Basin Pokémon
Type: Water
Official Registration #: 382
Entry: The ancient god of the sea, according to Hoennian legend. According to ancient Hoennian texts, Kyogre shaped the oceans by controlling the very waves themselves and bringing down torrential downpours. Interestingly, unlike many other myths concerning the creation of a world, Kyogre had a motivation behind it: namely to establish the dominance of aquatic pokémon in their fight against Groudon and its land-based followers. This means that the ocean itself exists thanks to a petty quarrel that happened eons ago, and because of this, the author is not sure whether to be impressed or to assume this explains quite a bit about the human race if this is how they say the world was formed.
Groudon
The Continent Pokémon
Type: Ground
Official Registration #: 383
Entry: The ancient god of the land, according to Hoennian legend. According to ancient Hoennian texts, Groudon had the power to raise landmasses and control magma, which one would assume were the powers it used in its quarrel against Kyogre to create the land. But no. No, reader, the power it used in its fight against Kyogre, the almighty ability that cut continents through Kyogre’s very oceans, was the ability to dispel clouds and make it especially sunny.
Hoenn Legendaries, Part III
Latias
The Eon Pokémon
Type: Dragon/Psychic
Official Registration #: 380
Entry: One of the legendary dragon guardians of the Soul Dew, an item of mystic power. Unlike most other legendaries, it’s known that latias live in small herds with multiple other latias and latios. Each latias is highly sensitive to human emotions, can understand human speech, communicates telepathically, and possesses coats of reflective down that can alter their appearance or render them invisible. Needless to say, these abilities in combination have caused much romantic confusion in the human race since the latias have first discovered us, and there is, indeed, an internet subculture dedicated to this exact breed of confusion.
Latios
The Eon Pokémon
Type: Dragon/Psychic
Official Registration #: 381
Entry: One of the legendary dragon guardians of the Soul Dew, an item of mystic power. Unlike most other legendaries, it’s known that latios live in small herds with multiple other latias and latios. These highly intelligent pokémon are capable of flying at mach speeds and telepathically coercing subjects into seeing whatever they see in their minds. Often born alongside a sister latias, latios are generally pacifist in nature … except when their twins “interact” with rather seedy-looking humans, at which point, they often use their considerable abilities to eliminate the perceived threat. Which, honestly, makes latios a pokémon the author can sympathize with greatly.
Hoenn Legendaries Part II
Regirock
The Rock Peak Pokémon
Type: Rock
Official Registration #: 377
Entry: One of the three legendary golems said to have been gifted to humans early in Hoenn’s civilization by the legendary Regigigas. Having been sealed away for thousands of years, Regirock was only recently unearthed in the Hoennian desert. Because early Hoennian records fail to describe Regirock in great detail (besides its purpose as the servant of both humanity and Regigigas), there are many mysteries surrounding it, such as why it was sealed away, how its body can be composed of rock from across the globe, how Regirock is capable of thought, and whether or not it is, indeed, the source of such charming sayings as “you’ve got a head full of rocks,” “you’ve got a stone heart,” and a few others that the author can’t repeat for fear of inciting the editor’s wrath.
Regice
The Iceberg Pokémon
Type: Ice
Official Registration #: 378
Entry: One of the three legendary golems said to have been gifted to humans early in Hoenn’s civilization by the legendary Regigigas. Like its sibling golem, Regice was sealed away for thousands of years, has only been unearthed recently, and is the source of quite a few mysteries of its own. Unlike Regirock, many of these mysteries revolve around two questions. First, why is its body made of solid, Antarctic ice when the Arctic Circle is far, far closer? Second, in what way is that practical for a tropical region, even accounting for the fact that Regice is incapable of melting? (Sure, perhaps it would be nice to have a block of ice to cool down a village, but considering the fact that only one was ever made….)
Registeel
The Iron Pokémon
Type: Steel
Official Registration #: 379
Entry: One of the three legendary golems said to have been gifted to humans early in Hoenn’s civilization by the legendary Regigigas. Like its sibling golems, Regsteel was sealed away for thousands of years and has only been unearthed recently. Unlike its sibling golems, besides the mystery of why it was sealed away, we pretty much understand quite a lot about registeel. The idea of a large, hollow body with a metal coat being tempered by underground heat and pressure for thousands of years makes perfect sense to us. Especially, you know, that describes most steel-types anyway.
Hoenn Legendaries! Mostly Rayquaza. :D
Well, there are certainly a number of fascinating stories about the Hoenn region, and a single post can’t quite do them all justice. For that reason, let this be the first in a (half-)week-long Hoenn special.
Starting with, of course:
Rayquaza
The Sky High Pokémon
Type: Dragon/Flying
Official Registration #: 384
Entry: According to Hoennian lore, this legendary dragon has lived for millions of years in the uppermost layers of the planet’s atmosphere, and because of how far high and how fast it flies, only recently (comparatively speaking) has humanity developed the technology that makes it possible to see Rayquaza in flight. Otherwise, it does not leave this part of the atmosphere except for when Earth is in imminent danger. Rather, it glides ever vigilantly across the sky, sleeping rarely and eating nothing but the tops of thunderclouds and incoming meteoroids. The author really has nothing funny to say about Rayquaza; he just thinks the idea of an eternal, meteoroid-consuming dragon flying across the edge of space is awesome.
The Sewaddle Line
Sewaddle
The Sewing Pokémon
Type: Bug/Grass
Official Registration #: 540
Entry: This tiny, worm-like pokémon clothes itself in leaves sewn together by its own silk. Because of its cuteness and this habit, it has recently become a popular mascot among Unovan clothing companies. Of course, it probably helps that the only other options for such mascots in the Unova region are extremely human-like and thus far more difficult to depict making clothes while naked.
Swadloon
The Leaf-Wrapped Pokémon
Type: Bug/Grass
Official Registration #: 541
Entry: The evolved form of sewaddle, by battle experience. It’s said that the damp forests in which swadloon live are lush with vegetation thanks to the nutrients from the fallen leaves they leave behind (no pun intended). What’s not frequently said is that, given swadloon’s strict diet of leaf matter, “fallen leaves” is actually a euphemism for swadloon droppings. As an extra comforting thought, all Unovan forests have healthy populations of swadloon.
Leavanny
The Nurturing Pokémon
Type: Bug/Grass
Official Registration #: 542
Entry: The evolved form of swadloon, as a result of a heightened sense of happiness. Leavanny in general are extraordinarily kind or otherwise well-meaning pokémon. In its native forests, if it comes across a small pokémon during its wanders, it will immediately stop and create an outfit for them using broad leaves sewn together using its own sticky silk. In urban environments, however, it has difficulties distinguishing small pokémon from small humans, and thus, it may force dresses made of paper and silk onto small children, including certain eight-year-old system administrators who the author did not think was adorable in such a dress of her own (because he knows all too well that the eight-year-old system administrator also has a munna and a protective older sister).
The timburr and/or the sewaddle line please! You’re not far off completing the Unova dex :D
Well, I certainly can’t refuse a request like this, especially when you’re correct about how close the Unova Dex is from completion. Sewaddle will be along tomorrow, anonymous!
Timburr
The Muscular Pokémon
Type: Fighting
Official Registration #: 532
Entry: This short humanoid pokémon always carries a square log with one arm, which it often uses as a blunt melee weapon. These logs are typically of various sizes, but their weight is a good indicator of how old a timburr is. If the log is small and light, then the timburr is a hatchling. If the log is roughly the weight of the timburr itself but slightly taller, then the timburr has reached the peak of its evolutionary stage. If, however, the log is at least twice as heavy and large as the timburr, then it’s close to evolution. Trainers will know that evolution is just about to begin if the timburr throws its log with ease away from its body. Incidentally, it should also be noted that the average timburr is twenty-six pounds, that the statement that the log will be at least twice as heavy as that is not an exaggeration, and that taking a fifty-pound block of wood to the legs is not a pleasant experience.
Gurdurr
The Muscular Pokémon
Type: Fighting
Official Registration #: 533
Entry: The evolved form of timburr, by battle experience. Thanks to their well-developed bodies, gurdurr can lift and carry solid steel beams without breaking a sweat. Additionally, although their muscles are naturally well-toned, they enjoy training themselves constantly using their steel beams and any exercise equipment they can find. Many even adopt strange diets of nutritional powders in order to bulk themselves up and sculpt sets of muscles that they then show off to groups of other gurdurr. Attempts have been made to decipher the gurdurr’s language during such meetings, but the nearest translation any researcher has been able to achieve was the phrase, “do you even lift, brah,” repeated over and over again.
Conkeldurr
The Muscular Pokémon
Type: Fighting
Official Registration #: 534
Entry: The evolved form of gurdurr, via trading. This muscular pokémon is known for carrying not one but two pillars of solid concrete, which it crafts itself shortly after evolution. Conkeldurr uses its own formula for mixing concrete—a formula that, if you believe the Unova Dex, was passed on to humans 2000 years ago. Of course, if you believe archaeological evidence, concrete was actually created by an ancient human civilization in the Middle East roughly 7500 years ago and was commonly employed by the Greeks, Romans, and Egyptians since at least 1400 BC. Then again, as we all know, the Unovan account of human history has never been wrong ever.
Cresselia
Cresselia
The Lunar Pokémon
Type: Psychic
Official Registration #: 488
Entry: According to Sinnohan myth, Cresselia is the lady of the crescent moon and of dreams, as well as a companion to Darkrai. As such, her mere presence can induce blissful dreams in even the most morbid creatures, and her feathers alone, known colloquially as Lunar Wings, are highly valued for their ability to induce peaceful sleep. The latter may explain why the most common souvenir in the Sinnoh region are “authentic” Lunar Wings (actually chatot feathers dyed and curled) … which, the author supposes, do bring pleasant dreams—to Sinnohan merchants.
The Pokédex According to Bill 