Venonat and Venomoth

Venonat
The Insect Pokémon
Type: Bug/Poison
Official Registration #: 48
Entry: A large, mite-like pokémon native to dark forests. Its massive, red eyes function like radar devices and are capable of seeing through the densest fog and the darkest nights to locate the smallest prey. Likewise, its long antennae are capable of registering even the slightest hints of heat and vibration around it. Moreover, its thick, purple hair is coated with a potent venom capable of paralyzing prey on contact, and its fangs are sharp enough to deliver a killing blow and draw out blood instantly. And for the umpteenth time, despite the fact that it’s a purple bug-type with red eyes and long antennae, it is not in any way related to butterfree.

Venomoth
The Poison Moth Pokémon
Type: Bug/Poison
Official Registration #: 49
Entry: The evolved form of venonat, by battle experience. Also a highly aptly named pokémon, as with every flap of its wings, it lets loose a storm of poisonous dust that’s not only potent but also extremely difficult to remove. The color of its wings indicate what type of poison venomoth carries—be it caustic, a neurotoxin, or something else—but from the author’s personal experiences, he feels it’s safe to say that all of its possible colors indicate the fact that standing beneath a venomoth is a horrendous idea.

Grimer and Muk

Grimer
The Sludge Pokémon
Type: Poison
Official Registration #: 88
Entry: Born from polluted rivers, this pokémon’s body consists entirely of highly toxic sludge. It consequently thrives on pollution, and as such, it flocks to polluted waterways, where it has been known to clog up entire sewer systems in its zeal to consume raw waste. Despite all of this, grimer populations are considered to be the most prevalent in Kanto and Hoenn, home to two of the most aggressive green campaigns in the world, despite the fact that other regions historically had difficulties with pollution, are centers of mining and manufacturing, and are currently so polluted that their environment has given birth to sentient garbage bags.

Muk
The Sludge Pokémon
Type: Poison
Official Registration #: 89
Entry: The evolved form of grimer, by battle experience. Like its preevolved form, a muk’s body also consists entirely of a highly toxic sludge. However, due to its increase in mass, power, and age with evolution, muk is able to cultivate highly powerful strains of bacteria and viruses that infest every inch of its skin. Physical contact with this pokémon can kill plants and smaller or weaker animals on contact … which should speak volumes about the resilience of pokémon researchers and their assistants as a whole, considering the fact that certain muk express affection via alarmingly frequent tackling.

Drowzee and Hypno

Drowzee
The Hypnosis Pokémon
Type: Psychic
Official Registration #: 96
Entry: This tapir-like pokémon is not only a master at inducing sleep, but it’s also a oneirovore—or creature that consumes dreams. It is said that if your nose feels itchy in the middle of the night, it means that drowzee is attempting to consume your dreams through your nostrils. This is, in fact, the only creature that should really be eating anything out of the nose, should any small children be reading this blog. (So you see, parents, this website is fantastically educational and fit for humans of all ages.)

Bill, a couple posts ago, you were talking about mating rituals, violence among pokémon, and things one should never Google. —LH

All of which are important lessons, my dear Lanette. —Bill

Hypno
The Hypnosis Pokémon
Type: Psychic
Official Registration #: 97
Entry: The evolved form of drowzee, by battle experience. Using its pendulum, hypno is capable of inducing sleep in most thinking lifeforms within seconds. Much like its preevolved form, hypno is also an oneirovore, and thus, it uses its hypnotic abilities to prey on the dreams of humans and other pokémon. In the case of one little girl who had what were apparently particularly sweet dreams, a hypno snatched her away in order to continue feeding on her dreams specifically. This is the only recorded instance of a kidnapping by hypno on record, unlike the hundreds of other known instances of other pokémon preying on unaware trainers and children. So naturally, because of this, a number of vocal groups think the species as a whole is dangerous, and hypno has become the favored subject of those who wish to write sensationalist literature concerning the dangers of pokémon.

The Goomy Line

Goomy
The Soft Tissue Pokémon
Type: Dragon
Official Registration #: 704
Entry: Because this small, mollusk-like pokémon cannot survive outside of moist, cool environments for long periods of time, it is thought by some researchers to be the weakest dragon-type in existence. However, in actuality, goomy possesses a pliable body that allows it to defend itself rather well; it simply gets dehydrated rather easily, a condition that can easily be remedied by pairing it with a water-type. That and anyone who claims that goomy is the weakest dragon-type have apparently never handled noibat, which crumple at snowfall, a stiff breeze, pebbles being thrown at them, bright light, and noises that are slightly louder than the average human voice.

Sliggoo
The Soft Tissue Pokémon
Type: Dragon
Official Registration #: 705
Entry: The evolved form of goomy, by battle experience. Researchers have struggled for years to uncover the reason why this snail-like pokémon’s eyes devolved into eyespots supported by eyeless antennae, especially given the fact that both goomy and goodra possess a working set each. Some believe that it’s because sliggoo journey into darker, murkier parts of its native swamp where it prepares for evolution. Others, meanwhile, believe that it’s linked to the fact that sliggoo meat—particularly the softest parts of its body (especially the eyes)—was once considered a delicacy in Kalos.

Goodra
The Dragon Pokémon
Type: Dragon
Official Registration #: 706
Entry: The evolved form of sliggoo, by battle experience, during the rain. This tall, bulky, pink pokémon is known for its friendliness, its arm strength, and the fact that its skin constantly secretes a slimy, viscous substance. When excited, this pokémon will stand tall and embrace its trainer tightly, coating its beloved partner with the sticky mucus that covers its body. Needless to say, the author highly recommends that this is yet another pokémon readers should never Google.

The Nincada Line

Nincada
The Trainee Pokémon
Type: Bug/Ground
Official Registration #: 290
Entry: For most of its life, this larval pokémon hatches and lives underground, where it feeds on nutrient-rich roots in preparation for its evolution. However, because of its primarily subterranean lifestyle, the species is also largely blind, relying on sensory information transmitted to its antennae to navigate. Needless to say, removing one from its native habitat to study it in a well-lit, above-ground laboratory is … perhaps not the best of ideas, no.

Ninjask
The Ninja Pokémon
Type: Bug/Flying
Official Registration #: 291
Entry: The evolved form of nincada, by battle experience. Ninjask is known for two things. First, its speed: it moves at a lightning-fast pace, sometimes even to a point where it becomes too fast to observe by the human eye. Second, it’s a stubborn and proud pokémon and will happily express its displeasure with a command by crying loudly, at volumes that could damage a human’s hearing. In other words, ninjask is better known as “that one pokémon you may be tempted to train due to its competitive, speed-based abilities, except you will very likely regret attempting to train it due to everything else about it.”

Shedinja
The Shed Pokémon
Type: Bug/Ghost
Official Registration #: 292
Entry: The husk of a nincada, left behind upon its evolution. Despite being made of a thin chitin, this terrifying pokémon possesses an ability that renders it invulnerable to everything but fire, ghost, dark, and flying elemental abilities, as well as indirect attacks. Additionally, it does not apparently possess a soul, and perhaps because of this, the strange forces that animate it are said to suck in the souls of anyone who looks into the cavity on its back. Luckily, whenever sending this pokémon out to battle—given the amount of time it may take for an opponent to defeat your shedinja, as well as the position of your pokémon relative to you during a match—staring directly into the hole that will suck out your spirit is nigh inevitable.

The Trapinch Line

Trapinch
The Ant Pit Pokémon
Type: Ground
Official Registration #: 328
Entry: A large, antlion-like pokémon native to deserts, particularly those of the Hoenn region. A patient hunter, trapinch digs conical pit traps and waits at the very center for prey to come tumbling down. However, due to its habitat in the remote parts of brutal deserts, it may wait for a solid week before anything comes tumbling into its pit. During this time, it does not move from its pit, even to search for water. Part of this might have something to do with the construction of their pits: each pit is typically so well-made that even the trapinch struggles to escape from them.

Vibrava
The Vibration Pokémon
Type: Ground/Dragon
Official Registration #: 329
Entry: The evolved form of trapinch, by battle experience. Also: a dragon-like pokémon known for generating supersonic waves capable of inducing headaches and disorienting prey by vigorously shaking its two pairs of wings. Also: a fearless predator that darts in at high speeds to take down prey, then spits venom onto said victims to dissolve them for easier consumption. Not: an adult toy whose name cannot be specified on a blog meant for general audiences, Bebe.

Flygon
The Mystic Pokémon
Type: Ground/Dragon
Official Registration #: 330
Entry: The evolved form of vibrava, by battle experience. Nicknamed “the spirit of the desert,” flygon is capable of kicking up massive dust storms with powerful flaps of its chitinous wings. It hides within these sandstorms and travels at great speeds across its desert habitats, which is why many people consider it a mirage. This is not the only thing flygon is known for, of course. It is also known for the massive waves of disappointment it had created when it was discovered that, unlike a number of other pokémon native to the Hoenn region, it is virtually incapable of mega evolving.

Drifloon and Drifblim

Drifloon
The Balloon Pokémon
Type: Ghost/Flying
Official Registration #: 425
Entry: A small, balloon-like pokémon first discovered in the mountains of Sinnoh. This potentially dangerous pokémon is well-aware of its cute, balloon-like appearance, as it uses this to its advantage when hunting its meal of choice: the souls of children. When it spots a potential victim, drifloon floats close and offers one of its string-like appendages for the child to take. In theory, the next step would be that the drifloon lifts the child and carries them away from their home, but considering the fact that the average toddler weighs ten times (at minimum) as much as the average drifloon, what typically happens instead is that the drifloon is dragged away from its natural habitat and presented to understandably horrified parents. (This is why most drifloon who survive in the wilderness feed on a supplemental diet of berries and dreams.)

Drifblim
The Blimp Pokémon
Type: Ghost/Flying
Official Registration #: 426
Entry: The evolved form of drifloon, by battle experience. Upon evolution, this blimp-like pokémon loses its desire to hunt. Rather, it adopts a more easy-going personality and has been known to befriend both people and pokémon very willingly. Moreover, drifblim gain an increase in strength, which, combined with drifblim’s more docile nature, tends to lead trainers into believing this pokémon would be an ideal candidate to teach the Fly technique to. However, it should also be noted that although drifblim can support the weight of a fully grown human being, it cannot control where it goes once airborne or how long it remains in the air, which is to say that drifblim is really the only ideal candidate to teach Fly to if one does not mind spending a week to go from Hearthome City to Canalave by way of Sunyshore and Oreburgh … somehow.

The Aron Line

Aron
The Iron Armor Pokémon
Type: Steel/Rock
Official Registration #: 304
Entry: A small but hefty tank-like pokémon originally discovered in the cave systems of Hoenn. Although these small but docile pokémon typically live deep underground, they thrive on iron and will thus rise to the surface in search of it if underground deposits run dry. In the process, they quickly become destructive forces of nature, capable of destroying anything within their paths easily until they consume the iron they need. They have been known to devour anything containing iron, including railroad tracks, cars, heavy equipment, sensitive research equipment, and more … yet the editor of this blog still considers them to be “cute” and “not at all dangerous” for some reason.

Lairon
The Iron Armor Pokémon
Type: Steel/Rock
Official Registration #: 305
Entry: The evolved form of aron, by battle experience. Aron, a pokémon that typically lives in herds, will congregate into similar herd structures after evolution. These herds typically congregate near mineral-rich underground springs, where they often engage in vicious battles with one another by slamming into each other’s armor, all in preparation for fights against invading pokémon or humans. Unfortunately, because their spring-side habitats tend to be closer to the surface than their nests as aron, they are known to lay waste to even more human-built structures, including mines, tunnels, or mountainside villages. For whatever reason, the editor of this blog thinks lairon is cute too.

Aggron
The Iron Armor Pokémon
Type: Steel/Rock
Official Registration #: 306
Entry: The evolved form of lairon, by battle experience. Upon evolution, aggron will break away from its former herd and roam vast, mountainous territory by itself. A single aggron will claim an entire mountain as its personal territory, and as such, aggron are known to aggressively repel other aggron—even those from its former herd—with incredible feats of violence. Lone aggron are therefore much easier to capture and train, and in fact, aggron are among the strongest pokémon available in the Hoenn region. Their popularity is only helped by the fact that the Hoennian champion, Steven Stone, includes one among his signature team … which, actually, might explain the editor’s predilection towards them.

What are you implying?! —LH

Volbeat and Illumise

Volbeat
The Firefly Pokémon
Type: Bug
Official Registration #: 313
Entry: A small, firefly-like pokémon originally discovered in the forests and near the lakes of Hoenn. Famous for its light displays, the light a volbeat emits actually serves two functions, depending on the age of the specimen. Among older volbeat, these light displays are indeed for mating purposes, as commonly thought, but younger volbeat that have not yet reached the correct age for mating still produce light and gather its fellow volbeat. In their case, it’s simply to ward off predators, so if you see a swarm of young volbeat using Double Team above you, this is not, as the author thought on his first night in Hoenn, a “fantastic display of romance within the pokémon kingdom” but instead a clear indicator that the observing human is about to be attacked by hundreds of Quick Attacks and Tackles all at once.

Illumise
The Firefly Pokémon
Type: Bug
Official Registration #: 314
Entry: A larger, firefly-like pokémon originally discovered in the forests and near the lakes of Hoenn. The popular opinion that illumise are the “partners” to volbeat is actually a misconception (as the editor of this blog is very quick to tell the author while he writes this), and it is a misconception for two reasons. First, that would be sexist. Second, although illumise do indeed emit both light and a sweet fragrance to draw volbeat into their elaborate, luminescent nightly dances, those same illumise do not necessarily do it for mating purposes. Rather, some subspecies of illumise may mimic other subspecies’ light and fragrance patterns to lure males in and then eat them.

Would you please write about Cherrim? A very underrated pokemon in my opinion. It’s so cute!

My editor would agree with you concerning the aesthetic qualities of the cherubi line, but it is indeed true that both pokémon are criminally underrated.

Cherubi
The Cherry Pokémon
Type: Grass
Official Registration #: 420
Entry: A small, cherry-like pokémon originally discovered in the forests of Sinnoh. Unlike many other pokémon, cherubi’s second head does not contain a brain. Rather, it contains supplemental nutrients it needs to grow. Once depleted, this second body shrivels up and may be plucked to aid in its preparations for evolution. (The ball will otherwise fall off on its own.) Meanwhile, like many grass-types, cherubi is edible, and the ball is sometimes gathered and cooked once lost. However, it should be noted that this ball must be fully cooked and eaten in small doses at that. It is a coincidence that this is pokémon #420, but it’s a very apt coincidence.

Cherrim
The Blossom Pokémon
Type: Grass
Official Registration #: 421
Entry: The evolved form of cherubi, by battle experience. For much of its life, cherrim will hide within its dense, dark violet petals to conserve energy. However, when exposed to bright sunlight, cherrim will open its blossom and become more energetic, outgoing, and otherwise joyful, and thus, even in its closed, overcast form, it is strongly inclined to seek out the outdoors, especially during sunny weather. For this reason, it is one of the few pokémon the author and presumably many others in his social media network will never be able to identify with.