Pansear and Simisear

Pansear
The High Temp Pokémon
Type: Fire
Official Registration #: 513
Entry: A monkey-like pokémon native to Unovan volcanoes. …Or it is according to the Unovan pokédex, which is fantastically interesting, seeing as Unova doesn’t even have volcanoes…

Simisear
The Ember Pokémon
Type: Fire
Official Registration #: 514
Entry: The evolved form of pansear, by exposure to fire stone. This excitable pokémon is possibly the easiest among the three Unovan monkeys to please, as it adores any kind of sweet and will adore anyone who supplies them with sugar. However, trainers should be cautioned against giving their simisear sugar, as sweets also fuels simisear’s fire and energetic personality, which in turn means a simisear on a sugar high is more liable to launch fireballs at anything within range of its long-distance attacks.

Pansage and Simisage

Pansage
The Grass Monkey Pokémon
Type: Grass
Official Registration #: 511
Entry: A monkey-like pokémon native to Unovan forests. As a creature of the grass element, the average pansage is capable of growing plant-like structures from its body. In its case, a pansage’s hair is actually made up of a certain type of herb known for soothing stress and energizing an imbiber. On the one hand, this leaf, when brewed with boiling water, makes a fantastic tea. On the other, you have to consume this leaf knowing that you are eating monkey hair … which, the author supposes, is probably the least worrisome thing to anyone who regularly imbibes soothing herbs, in all fairness.

Simisage
The Thorn Monkey Pokémon
Type: Grass
Official Registration #: 512
Entry: The evolved form of pansage, by exposure to leaf stone. Simisage is known for its wild temper, which drives it to thrash its thorn-covered tail at offending pokémon. Trainers should be warned that there are a variety of possible triggers for these tantrums, so proper precautions should be taken to keep these incidents at a bare minimum. However, it should also be noted that the leading cause of these tantrums seems to be objects, humans, or pokémon touching its tall but bitter-flavored hair. Which, to be fair, is fabulously styled, so in this author’s opinion, the reaction is perfectly understandable.

Golett and Golurk

Golett
The Automaton Pokémon
Type: Ground/Ghost
Official Registration #: 622
Entry: A short, robotic pokémon that mainly inhabits the ruins of Unova and Kalos. Born from clay, this automaton pokémon is said to be an ancient form of technology whose power source is still not yet well-understood by modern researchers. As a word of advice, it is extremely unwise to attempt to harness this energy source, either as a battery or for research purposes. It’s not so much because this pokémon naturally learns a variety of punching moves that can easily render an offending human hospitalized as it is because there is only one place on a golett a person may be able to plug in a cord, and to make a long and very awkward story short, the ancient peoples of Unova and Kalos had similarly horrifying senses of humor.

Golurk
The Automaton Pokémon
Type: Ground/Ghost
Official Registration #: 623
Entry: The evolved form of golett, by battle experience. Everything about golett had been specifically designed, including all of the details concerning its evolution. Thus, it was possible for the ancient people of Unova and Kalos to begin by raising and gaining the loyalty of their golett, only to have it grow into a bulkier, far more powerful golurk that was specially designed to serve as their protector. Golurk by itself is gifted with a wide variety of powers, including the ability to fly at mach speeds, despite its design and bulk. Yet should anyone be inclined to question how golurk is capable of that kind of flight, the author would like to take the time to point out the lack of forum threads concerning whether or not Gligarman’s abilities according to the comic series make sense. (Spoiler alert? They do not. Fight me, Glifan823.)

The Abra Line

Abra
The Psi Pokémon
Type: Psychic
Official Registration #: 63
Entry: A small, fox-like pokémon of the psychic-type. Due to its incredible psychic power, it requires at least eighteen hours of sleep per day. However, it also has the power to read minds, so when it senses danger or when it is summoned for battle, it is still capable of “reading” its surroundings and using its other moves to protect itself. Unfortunately, the only move it learns naturally is Teleport, and as teaching a pokémon moves via HM or TM requires them to be fully conscious, training an abra may pose difficult for the beginning trainer. On the positive side, it provides many life lessons to trainers who are just starting out from Goldenrod City, which is flanked by two major abra habitats. One of these lessons is, of course, never go out to capture your first pokémon without reading the pokédex first.

Kadabra
The Psi Pokémon
Type: Psychic
Official Registration #: 64
Entry: The evolved form of abra, by battle experience. After evolution, a kadabra’s psychic powers grow in strength, and its mastery over its psychic abilities increases, allowing it to learn more techniques and stay awake for longer periods of time. Unfortunately, its powers also cause it to unconsciously emit alpha waves at all times. These alpha waves increase when a kadabra is excited and have a tendency to irrevocably damage sensitive equipment, as well as induce headaches in a nearby human. Because of the latter, it is said that only those with a strong psyche may handle this pokémon … which would be a compliment if the author was a little more prepared for poké puff-related migraines.

Alakazam
The Psi Pokémon
Type: Psychic
Official Registration #: 65
Entry: The evolved form of kadabra, via trading. Upon evolution, a kadabra’s abilities and intelligence grow exponentially, to the point where the average alakazam is said to possess a brain powerful enough to rival a supercomputer. On the downside, because its head grows too heavy for its body to support, an alakazam is constantly exerting its telekinetic powers, which in turn means it is, more than ever, exuding psi energy. Additionally, due to its unusual evolutionary requirements, most trainers will never get to own an alakazam, let alone observe these telekinetic abilities … which on the one hand is a shame but on the other hand is also a blessing for both the author’s research equipment and his head.

Minccino and Cinccino

Minccino
The Chinchilla Pokémon
Type: Normal
Official Registration #: 572
Entry: A small, rodent-like pokémon known for its soft fur and grooming habits. Because minccino fur is extremely soft and thick—with an average of sixty hairs per follicle—minccino are typically extremely meticulous about keeping clean. While part of this is indeed related to the way they groom themselves and each other, it also extends to their surroundings, as they are particularly keen on doing everything they can to keep their coats clean, including removing dirt from their habitats. For this reason, minccino are often thought among Unovan parenting communities to be popular pets for teenagers and young adults who did not embark on a trainer’s journey, as the minccino will supposedly pick up after their newly independent but questionably responsible offspring. (This, of course, is not true; minccino could really care less about their habitats outside of their respective cages. But it’s a nice sentiment nonetheless.)

Cinccino
The Scarf Pokémon
Type: Normal
Official Registration #: 573
Entry: The evolved form of minccino, by exposure to shiny stone. Like minccino, cinccino are famously known for their soft fur, which is additionally coated in a special oil to make it shiny and silky-smooth. This fur grows upon evolution, and consequently, cinccino fur supposedly repels dirt, static electricity, and even punches from well-drained fighting-type pokémon. The keyword there, of course, is supposedly. Do not pit your cinccino against a gauntlet of fighting-type pokémon for the sole purpose of testing the durability of its fur. This is a fantastic way to lose both your cinncino and your trainer’s license.

Jirachi

It seems we’ve hit a milestone, dear readers. For that, I would like to take the time to thank all of you who have joined me thus far. It’s an honor to be able to share my wealth of information and experiences (…largely experiences) with all of you.

As a gift to you, a special entry, concerning a very special pokémon to my very patient editor. We hope you enjoy!

Jirachi
The Wish Pokémon
Type: Steel/Psychic
Official Registration #: 385
Entry: A legendary pokémon that, according to Hoennian lore, possesses the power to grant any wish. Many other legends are attached to this particular pokémon, most notably the story of how it will sleep for a thousand years, only to awaken for one week as a particular comet passes over the sky. It is also said that the way to awaken Jirachi from its thousand-year slumber is by singing to it in a voice of purity. The latter is quite possibly a little closer to the truth than the former, as it has been noted that the last time Jirachi has awakened was in 2003, not long after the release of the first solo album by a certain artist who shall remain nameless here but who the rest of the internet seems to know very well. (A hint: Scientists are not entirely certain which song on the album might have awakened Jirachi, but most theories lean towards “Me, Myself & I.”)

The Shinx Line

Shinx
The Flash Pokémon
Type: Electric
Official Registration #: 403
Entry: A small, lion cub-like pokémon of the electric type. Shinx is referred to as the “flash pokémon” because of its the ability to disperse electricity into its fur using the extension and contraction of its muscular system; the tenser its body, the more electricity is pumped into its fur, which means the more its fur sparks and glows. However, it is important for trainers to note that this behavior is not exclusive to fear. Rather, shinx as a whole will do this whenever excited, including when they wish to play with their trainers. Which is to say, if considering training a newly hatched shinx, please be aware that you will be blinded. A lot.

Luxio
The Spark Pokémon
Type: Electric
Official Registration #: 404
Entry: The evolved form of shinx, by battle experience. As a member of the shinx line grows, it gains finer control over its electrical abilities. In its luxio form, it learns to channel electricity into its claws, rather than throughout its fur, and it uses this to deliver powerful electrical shocks to its opponents. Even the lightest scratch from a luxio is potent enough to render even the bulkiest pokémon unconscious. On that note, trainers who are considering raising a member of the shinx line should beware of luxio as well. Luxio, after all, have a habit of kneading their trainers’ laps to show affection, which is a behavior that has occasionally had very unfortunate consequences for more than a few humans.

Luxray
The Gleam Eyes Pokémon
Type: Electric
Official Registration #: 405
Entry: The evolved form of luxio, by battle experience. Luxray are gifted with the ability to see through walls. When its eyes light up and it stares intently at a wall, rest assured that this is normal for luxray and that it has simply spotted potential prey. On the positive side, this is the only strange thing about luxray, as it no longer channels electricity into its fur or claws when excited. On the negative side, if a luxray stares intently at your wall, you most likely have an infestation of rattata or pikachu. That and also, your luxray is very likely to Thunderbolt your wall and anything that happens to be in front of said wall (including, for example, you) without notice.

Bill, why do you think there is only one pure flying type? And a legendary, at that. Why are all other flying pokemon dual typed?

It’s a bit of a complicated subject to describe, but there are two ways to do so. The more scientific way is that type assignments are based on expression. If a pokémon expresses the traits—defensive capabilities against various types, instinctual inclinations towards specific elements, and so forth—then they’re classified as a specific combination. Usually, the type balance of a pokémon works out so that each subject expresses one or two types much, much more than any other, so while a pikachu may be capable of water-type attacks, it’s considered to be primarily electric, as its traits align more with the traditional profile of an electric-type, rather than a water-type. With that in mind, curiously enough, most flying-types express a combination of types, rather than just one. It may be because flying is considered to be a weaker type to express, so it supports other elements, rather than stands on its own. This is also why not that long ago, flying-type techniques such as Gust were actually classified as normal, and certain techniques you would imagine as being flying, such as Whirlwind, still are.

The less scientific explanation goes like this: imagine the weather. According to tradition, the flying-type corresponds to the element of air or wind (depending on the culture). However, wind is not much of an element on its own, if you think about it. Even when the weather is clear, you think more about the sun than you do about the gentle, warm breeze. When you go through a rain storm, you might think about the wind, but your mind is more on the water coming down. Even when it’s a cold, winter day, your first thought is about the cold and the snow instead of how hard the wind is blowing. Wind is always a supporting element in the weather … except when there’s extremely severe weather, such as a hurricane or a tornado, which are defined by wind speeds. And conveniently enough, the exact legendary you’re referring to is the legendary of severe storms.

Rufflet and Braviary

Rufflet
The Eaglet Pokémon
Type: Normal/Flying
Official Registration #: 627
Entry: An eagle-like pokémon known for its particularly fascinating tendency to stand up to any opponent, no matter how large or powerful they may be. This is, in general, an honorable behavior to display. It is important to stand up for your principles, after all, even if those principles result in you rolling down Cycling Road in a trash bin because you decided to stand up to the Celadon University rugby team while conveniently forgetting that you lack any sort of battling skills, hand-to-hand combat training, or, in fact, any semblance of hand-eye coordination.

To your credit, at least it was casserole day, so you had a cushion and free dinner. —LH

Braviary
The Valiant Pokémon
Type: Normal/Flying
Official Registration #: 628
Entry: The evolved form of rufflet, by battle experience. A large, eagle-like pokémon that will fight for its friends, regardless of the risks to itself. Because of this behavior, braviary has been taken to be a symbol of sorts to various regions and nations—including and especially Unova, where braviary represents FREEDOM. Which is, as the writer understands it from his good friends on the internet, a distinctly separate concept from freedom, as FREEDOM apparently involves far more fireworks, guns, ursaring, and acts of throwing perfectly good tea into a questionably good harbor.

Vullaby and Mandibuzz

Vullaby
The Diapered Pokémon
Type: Dark/Flying
Official Registration #: 629
Entry: Vullaby’s wings are too short and underdeveloped to allow it to fly, but as it nears evolution, it sheds the bones it wears in order to drop dead weight and give its wings more space in which to move. One would assume this would be the joke of the entry, but in actuality, it is the pokémon’s recorded species, which was neither the writer’s fault nor something on which he can provide any sort of witty comment, as any commentary regarding this has already been made somewhere on the internet with varying degrees of irony and innocence.

Mandibuzz
The Bone Vulture Pokémon
Type: Dark/Flying
Official Registration #: 630
Entry: The evolved form of vullaby, by battle experience. Mandibuzz is a large, vulture-like pokémon known for circling potential prey, then swooping down on it and carrying it back to its nest, where it dismembers said prey to use its bones for nest reinforcement and decoration. This behavior may seem intimidating to some, but there are theories within the pokémon ethological community that it is better explained with the fact that the appearance of its preevolved form is not particularly well-respected among pokémon either.