The Beldum Line

bills-pokedex:

Beldum
The Iron Ball Pokémon
Type: Steel/Psychic
Official Registration #: 374
Entry: A magnetic pokémon rare in but native to the mountains of Hoenn and Sinnoh. It uses its magnetism to move and communicate with other beldum, both of which are essential to it, as its movepool is limited. More specifically, until evolution, beldum only learn one move naturally: Take Down, a devastating physical move in which it rams itself into its opponent, dealing damage to both itself and its target. As an aside, given the shape of this pokémon and the aforementioned fact, it is worth it to note that “rams itself into its opponent” is also not a euphemism, Bebe, and quite frankly, the author is horrified by the fact that anyone thinks it would be.

Metang
The Iron Claw Pokémon
Type: Steel/Psychic
Official Registration #: 375
Entry: The evolved form of beldum, by battle experience. When two beldum become very close, their magnetism draws them closer together until they fuse at the head to form a larger, faster, and stronger pokémon gifted with a higher sense of enlightenment and intelligence. To answer Bebe’s question, no, this is not a metaphor, nor is this an accurate description of how certain organs the author and people like him would work during any sort of biological function outside of terribly written and highly bizarre slash fanfiction.

Metagross
The Iron Leg Pokémon
Type: Steel/Psychic
Official Registration #: 376
Entry: The evolved form of metagross, by battle experience. Much akin to beldum evolution, metagross form when two metang fuse. The resulting pokémon is not only physically and magically powerful (in that it is capable of launching both devastating physical attacks and devastating psychic attacks) but also highly intelligent. The combined brains of the constituent metang work in unison, allowing the metagross’s brain as a whole to function as a highly efficient supercomputer. …This, of course, is what makes metagross interesting, not the first thing in this entry, yet the author’s Sinnohan colleague is writing the fanfiction anyway.

Mega Metagross
The Iron Leg Pokémon
Type: Steel/Psychic
Official Registration #: 376+
Entry: The advanced form of metagross, via metagrossite. As a result of the power surge from mega evolution, this already fiercely intelligent and extremely powerful pokémon becomes a veritable force of nature on the battlefield. That is to say, mega metagross combines newly sharpened intellect with incredible offensive capabilities to engage in battles so brutal and strategically destructive that opponents—and stadiums—are often rendered utterly out of commission for weeks. Another interesting fact: mega metagross is the signature mega evolution of the champion of Hoenn, Steven Stone. Just … as an unrelated side note that in no way is relevant to the author’s partner.

I can’t tell if you’re trying to dissuade me from having an entirely platonic relationship with Steven because you’re jealous of him or of me. —LH

I don’t see how any part of that could possibly indicate that I’m at all jealous of either of you. —Bill

…okay, maybe I’m a little jealous of you. How did you manage to get invited to coffee with him anyway?! I’ve been talking to him about rare stones and pokémon for years, and we’re barely on a first-name basis! —Bill

A girl has her secrets. 😉 —LH

Meditite and Medicham

bills-pokedex:

Meditite
The Meditate Pokémon
Type: Fighting/Psychic
Official Registration #: 307
Entry: In order to heighten its spiritual and physical strength, this monkey-like pokémon undergoes rigorous training in mountainous areas. This training involves extreme methods such as meditating for hours and consuming only one berry a day. It should be noted that this sort of exercise is extremely taxing on the body and should not be undertaken by any unprepared human trainers seeking to attain enlightenment alongside their meditite partners.

Are you speaking from experience, Bill? Because to be fair, there’s a difference between this and forgoing basic physical needs to write your senior thesis. —LH

What difference would that be? —Bill

Medicham
The Meditate Pokémon
Type: Fighting/Psychic
Official Registration #: 308
Entry: The evolved form of meditite, by battle experience. Through years of hardcore meditation and extended periods of near starvation, this pokémon is able to develop both telekinetic and aura-viewing powers. It is said that the closer it gets to spiritual enlightenment by denying itself earthly pleasures—including food—the easier it is for a medicham to view auras in the form of brilliantly colored lights.

Oh, much like you what you were experiencing by the end of finals week. I stand corrected. —LH

At least I passed. —Bill

According to our proctors, yes. According to the ER physician, no. —LH

Mega Medicham
The Meditate Pokémon
Type: Fighting/Psychic
Official Registration #: 308+
Entry: The advanced form of medicham, via medichamite. Thanks to the boost in power from mega evolution, combined with its years of intense training, mega medicham is able to achieve a form that grants it a set of spectral hands. These hands grow increasingly more corporeal the more meditation and training the medicham has had, until it gains at least two sets of perfectly functioning hands with which to fight or, well, work. That is to say, mega medicham is one of the few pokémon that become more efficient with a combination of sleep deprivation and lack of self-care, which is a feat that the author envies just a little.

If it makes you feel any better, the reason why Brigette and I dragged you to the hospital that one time was because you were so sleep-deprived you thought you actually had more than one set of hands… —LH

Fair point. But now that I think about it, I could probably achieve the same results as a mega medicham through more practical methods. —Bill

I really hope you’re not about to suggest something involving your teleporter and a sample of medicham DNA. —LH

I was actually thinking of machamp DNA, but if you’re going to be like that about it… —Bill

Exeggcute and Exeggutor

bills-pokedex:

Exeggcute
The Egg Pokémon
Type: Grass/Psychic
Official Registration #: 102
Entry: An egg-like pokémon gifted with incredible telekinetic and telepathic powers. When one egg is separated from the bunch, it can use these wondrous abilities to locate and rejoin its group. Of course, given the fact that this means each egg clearly demonstrates autonomy, one must ask why researchers never classify an individual exeggcute component as being its own pokémon. And the answer, dear reader, is pokémon is wonderful, aren’t they?

Exeggutor
The Coconut Pokémon
Type: Grass/Psychic
Official Registration #: 103
Entry: The evolved form of exeggcute, by exposure to leaf stone. This palm tree-like pokémon originated in the tropics, and much of its behavior reflects this. It perks up most during sunny weather, when it’s able to collect sunlight in its coconut heads and grow. Such growth tends to be steady everywhere but Alola, where the abundant sun causes the energy somehow mutates exeggutor into long-necked dragon-type creatures. One may be wondering how it gains the dragon-type of all possible elements, never mind why it mutates in the region of Alola only, but the answer to this, dear reader, is that pokémon are indeed wonderful, majestic beings.

Exeggutor (Alola form)
The Coconut Pokémon
Type: Grass/Dragon
Official Registration #: 103
Entry: The evolved form of exeggcute, by exposure to leaf stone within the region of Alola. It’s said that exposure to the bright Alolan sun allows this pokémon to evolve into its true form, the towering, dragon-type exeggutor. This, of course, implies that the exeggcute family originated in Alola and that migration to other, less suitable environments have stunted exeggutor’s growth and forced it to adopt an entirely different skillset to survive. While this is generally accepted as true, the actual mystery lies in how exeggcute migrated in the first place. As of this writing, leading scientists support one main theory: that they were carried elsewhere by pairs of swellow using strands of creeper held under the dorsal guiding feathers.

Pikachu

bills-pokedex:

Pichu
The Tiny Mouse Pokémon
Type: Electric
Official Registration #: 172
Entry: Trainers take caution—although cute and the first stage in a line of formidable battlers, pichu do not have a full mastery over their electrical powers until evolution. This is not to say that they aren’t that strong. On the contrary: they have the ability to generate voltages on par with their evolved forms. What they cannot do is avoid releasing said voltage when startled, happy, or simply standing in an empty room doing absolutely nothing, and suffice to say, this is why many of the reports of electrocution among Johtonians have to do with this very pokémon.

Pikachu
The Mouse Pokémon
Type: Electric
Official Registration #: 25
Entry: The evolved form of pichu, in response to closeness with its trainer. Due to its adorable appearance, its intelligence, and its penchant for doing tricks for treats, pikachu has become an extremely popular choice for a pet. However, should you wish to keep one, never forget that pikachu are still potentially dangerous electric rodents. This is not just a note concerning its ability to generate thousands of volts of electricity, nor is it simply a warning concerning its tendency to release electricity during thunderstorms or upon waking up each morning. It is also a note that this rodent can and will chew through wires if left unattended, and chargers compatible with Leppa-brand laptops run anywhere from ¥3500 to ¥9400 each.

Raichu
The Mouse Pokémon
Type: Electric
Official Registration #: 26
Entry: The evolved form of pikachu, by exposure to thunder stone. A raichu’s tail acts as its grounding wire. When a raichu stores too much electricity in its electrical sacs, it plants its tail and discharges electricity directly into the ground. This is vital to the well-being of an individual raichu, as not only do they gather electricity from their surroundings, but they also grow increasingly aggressive as their electrical stores grow. In that sense, a raichu is much like a drunken relative on Christmas, the sort who gets increasingly offensive the more alcohol he consumes until he needs to be escorted to a safe room to discharge a long and barely intelligible rant. …Not that this writer has seen his father do any of this at any point in his life.

Raichu (Alola form)
The Mouse Pokémon
Type: Electric/Psychic
Official Registration #: 26
Entry: The evolved form of pikachu, by exposure to thunder stone within the region of Alola. It’s said that the catalyst that enables a pikachu to attain this rounder, more spiritually-inclined form upon evolution is the consumption of Alolan pancakes, which are fluffier and spicier than any other pancake in the world. If this seems at all ridiculous to you, reader, then clearly, you have yet to try Alolan pancakes. They are, in the author’s opinion, an experience.

For the record, Bill is referring to literal pancakes. —LH

Of course. The figurative sort of pancake people from Goldenrod know about is the Unovan pancake, which, I assure you, I have never tried. —Bill

Well, that’s shocking. —LH

…no pun intended, oh my God, Bill. —LH

Hi! I recently received my first ever Pokémon, Ralts. I have been reading your posts already, but do you have any other tips or anything I should bear in mind when working with Ralts (and their evolutionary line) in particular? I don’t do anything extreme – I’m a research assistant at a local lab and I make soap as a hobby. Also if you have any recommendations for other Pokémon that my Ralts could live with I’d love to hear them! Sorry if this is a whole lot… Thank you for reading! ~Tiffany

Besides the basics (which are listed here, for those curious: http://bills-pokedex.tumblr.com/post/152002181001/how-to-take-care-of-a-ralts-please ), perhaps the most important advice I can offer is, strange as this might seem, always be aggressive about self-care. As in, care for yourself, rather than your ralts. Psychic-types can be quite difficult to work with, especially for those with negligible or latent psychic abilities (or perhaps none at all, if you don’t subscribe to the idea that we all have some baseline psychic ability). At first, a psychic pokémon may inadvertently use their abilities on their own trainers, which may be traumatic for a human with little experience in telepathic blocking. Moreover, as you grow closer to your pokémon and your pokémon grows more powerful, your psychic link will grow stronger as well. Not only does this mean psychic blocking will be imperative at that point, but also, if you don’t train yourself, your pokémon’s use of its powers may take a negative toll on your physical health. At best, that means you’ll feel exhausted after battles due to your partner literally drawing strength from your bond with it. At worst, it will mean chronic debilitating migraines or (rarely but possible) brain aneurisms. Or, well, battles become more dangerous because your emotional state may disrupt your pokémon’s concentration, thus increasing the risk that it will lose control of its abilities and seriously injure you or those around you. Either or, really.

Thus, it’s important that you build up psychic tolerance early. Train with your ralts frequently so you can get a sense of its telepathic signature (or the spiritual aura it emits when using its abilities). Meditate at least once a day to teach yourself how to ground your mind and clear your thoughts at a moment’s notice. Pick an idea or memory that makes you happy and learn to focus on it when you feel your pokémon entering your mind. Learn to build a psychic maze (that is, a series of thoughts designed to distract and confuse psychics) as further defense.

And above all else, take care of yourself. Always get a full night’s rest before a major battle, eat right, and keep your energy up by exercising daily. And of course, also be sure to train your ralts to control its powers and know when it is and isn’t appropriate to use its abilities on you. This all is particularly important for the ralts line, as its powers are more based on the reading and manipulation of others’ thoughts than most psychic pokémon, so I wish you the best of luck in training yourself.

As for other companion pokémon, strangely, dark-types are perhaps the best choices. These are immune to a lot of ralts’s abilities, which means ralts can associate with them without the stress of holding itself back. They also make for excellent sparring partners later on in a ralts’s life, especially if yours eventually becomes a gallade. Alternatively, other psychics can work together with your ralts (meaning training becomes far easier), and therapeutic pokémon (such as those that can use Sweet Scent, Aromatherapy, or Sing) can keep your ralts calm and in control, even in high-stress situations (such as urban environments).

Good luck, and congratulations on the new addition to your family!

The Abra Line

bills-pokedex:

Abra
The Psi Pokémon
Type: Psychic
Official Registration #: 63
Entry: A small, fox-like pokémon of the psychic-type. Due to its incredible psychic power, it requires at least eighteen hours of sleep per day. However, it also has the power to read minds, so when it senses danger or when it is summoned for battle, it is still capable of “reading” its surroundings and using its other moves to protect itself. Unfortunately, the only move it learns naturally is Teleport, and as teaching a pokémon moves via HM or TM requires them to be fully conscious, training an abra may pose difficult for the beginning trainer. On the positive side, it provides many life lessons to trainers who are just starting out from Goldenrod City, which is flanked by two major abra habitats. One of these lessons is, of course, never go out to capture your first pokémon without reading the pokédex first.

Kadabra
The Psi Pokémon
Type: Psychic
Official Registration #: 64
Entry: The evolved form of abra, by battle experience. After evolution, a kadabra’s psychic powers grow in strength, and its mastery over its psychic abilities increases, allowing it to learn more techniques and stay awake for longer periods of time. Unfortunately, its powers also cause it to unconsciously emit alpha waves at all times. These alpha waves increase when a kadabra is excited and have a tendency to irrevocably damage sensitive equipment, as well as induce headaches in a nearby human. Because of the latter, it is said that only those with a strong psyche may handle this pokémon … which would be a compliment if the author was a little more prepared for poké puff-related migraines.

Alakazam
The Psi Pokémon
Type: Psychic
Official Registration #: 65
Entry: The evolved form of kadabra, via trading. Upon evolution, a kadabra’s abilities and intelligence grow exponentially, to the point where the average alakazam is said to possess a brain powerful enough to rival a supercomputer. On the downside, because its head grows too heavy for its body to support, an alakazam is constantly exerting its telekinetic powers, which in turn means it is, more than ever, exuding psi energy. Additionally, due to its unusual evolutionary requirements, most trainers will never get to own an alakazam, let alone observe these telekinetic abilities … which on the one hand is a shame but on the other hand is also a blessing for both the author’s research equipment and his head.

Mega Alakazam
The Psi Pokémon
Type: Psychic
Official Registration #: 65+
Entry: The advanced form of alakazam, via alakazite. The array of spoon-like objects it gains upon mega evolution are psychic amplifiers that greatly enhance its telekinetic abilities. They are not, as the internet claims, for consuming vanillite ~~although some mega alakazam use them for this too~~.

Kanto Legendaries, Part II

bills-pokedex:

Mewtwo
The Genetic Pokémon
Type: Psychic
Official Registration #: 150
Entry: According to conspiracy theorists, a shady organization attempted to create the ultimate weapon by combining the DNA of Mew with several other pokémon and subjecting the result to torturous training methods. The writer, of course, cannot confirm nor deny that this is true, as technically, he is not supposed to know all of this. The only reason why he does is because he gave a certain amount of bitcoin to certain people who own certain deep web websites for the sake of science, and the only reason why he is publishing all of this is, frankly, because being targeted by shady underground organizations sounds like a far better way to spend a weekend than by going to the Pokémon League’s annual formal gala aboard the S.S. Anne.

Mew
The New Species Pokémon
Type: Psychic
Official Registration #: 151
Entry: A godlike feline pokémon said to inhabit the mountains of South America. According to legend, Mew wields incredible powers, including psychokinesis, invisiblity, and the ability to learn hundreds of moves. Scientists, in an attempt to explain the latter, have mapped out Mew’s genetic code based on a sample taken from a fossil, and in doing so, they have found that Mew shares a varying percentage of DNA with every pokémon in existence. This last fact becomes less impressive, however, when one stops to realize first that this in no way explains how Mew can learn hundreds of different moves … and second that humans share 50% of their DNA with nanab berries, so it seems rather moot anyway.

Mega Mewtwo X
The Genetic Pokémon
Type: Psychic/Fighting
Official Registration #: 150+
Entry: The advanced form of mewtwo, via mewtwonite x. Upon mega evolution using the experimental mewtwonite X, this pokémon gains a considerable boost in its physically offensive capabilities, along with an affinity for the fighting type. Because the exact thing a pokémon genetically engineered to be a super soldier needs is the ability to switch from being proficient at distance attacks to being proficient at punching things through walls at a moment’s notice. Not that the author knows anything about this because he certainly didn’t hear about the exploits of the eleven-year-old children who managed to wrestle this pokémon away from a criminal organization or anything.

Mega Mewtwo Y
The Genetic Pokémon
Type: Psychic/Fighting
Official Registration #: 150+
Entry: The advanced form of mewtwo, via mewtwonite Y. Upon mega evolution using the experimental mewtwonite Y, this pokémon gains a considerable boost in its psychic and elemental channeling abilities. The trade-off, of course, is an absolutely ridiculous physiology, including the movement of its tail from its proper place at the base of its spine to the crown of its head. The author certainly does not have any theories as to why this happened, as he’s certainly never been privy to the finer details of this pokémon, nor has he ever sat back with a glass of sparkling leppa juice while listening with utter delight to news reports of the defeat of certain crime lords at the hands of an eleven-year-old armed with this pokémon.

Hoenn Legendaries, Part III

bills-pokedex:

Latias
The Eon Pokémon
Type: Dragon/Psychic
Official Registration #: 380
Entry: One of the legendary dragon guardians of the Soul Dew, an item of mystic power. Unlike most other legendaries, it’s known that latias live in small herds with multiple other latias and latios. Each latias is highly sensitive to human emotions, can understand human speech, communicates telepathically, and possesses coats of reflective down that can alter their appearance or render them invisible. Needless to say, these abilities in combination have caused much romantic confusion in the human race since the latias have first discovered us, and there is, indeed, an internet subculture dedicated to this exact breed of confusion.

Latios
The Eon Pokémon
Type: Dragon/Psychic
Official Registration #: 381
Entry: One of the legendary dragon guardians of the Soul Dew, an item of mystic power. Unlike most other legendaries, it’s known that latios live in small herds with multiple other latias and latios. These highly intelligent pokémon are capable of flying at mach speeds and telepathically coercing subjects into seeing whatever they see in their minds. Often born alongside a sister latias, latios are generally pacifist in nature … except when their twins “interact” with rather seedy-looking humans, at which point, they often use their considerable abilities to eliminate the perceived threat. Which, honestly, makes latios a pokémon the author can sympathize with greatly.

Mega Latias
The Eon Pokémon
Type: Dragon/Psychic
Official Registration #: 380+
Entry: The advanced form of latias, via latiasite. Contrary to popular belief, the change in this pokémon’s appearance does not indicate a significant boost in speed, nor does it lend any particular aerodynamic quality to the overall pokémon. Instead, it only boosts certain capabilities inherent in this pokémon’s genetic makeup, meaning it becomes even more capable of working in tandem with its sibling species. In other words, the physiological changes merely indicate the heightened ability to work as one unit with a mega latixs’s respective partner.

The Slowpoke Line

bills-pokedex:

Slowpoke
The Dopey Pokémon
Type: Water/Psychic
Official Registration #: 79
Entry: A sweet sap leaks from the tip of this strange pokémon’s tail. Although mysterious in its production, this sap tastes exactly like a sweeter form of honey and thus is effective in attracting pokémon. Slowpoke frequently use this to their advantage, as the core of their behavior centers around their fishing rituals, in which they flock to the banks of a slow-moving body of water, dip their tails in, and wait for a bite. However, as slowpoke are not the brightest pokémon nor pokémon with the fastest reflexes, they often fail to notice when they get a bite—or, for that matter, much about their environment at all. Which leads into the second fact: that some humans have found that slowpoke tails are not particularly nutritious but are quite frankly fun to chew on. How we as a species discovered this about a creature who is completely incapable of noticing when anything—human or otherwise—is chewing on its tail is probably best left up to one’s imagination.

Slowbro
The Hermit Crab Pokémon
Type: Water/Psychic
Official Registration #: 80
Entry: The evolved form of slowpoke, by battle experience. Or, rather, to be more accurate, slowpoke evolves into slowbro after it gains enough strength to fish in waters where shellder naturally live. This is relevant because it is the shellder that enables a slowpoke to evolve by clamping down on the tip of its tail. However, curiously enough, a slowbro will always revert to a slowpoke when the shellder is removed, which raises several questions about the nature of slowpoke’s evolution. One possible hint to the existence of slowbro as its own pokémon lies in the fact that due to shellder’s hold on slowbro’s tail, the slowbro host can no longer fish and is, therefore, forced to hunt literally by hand. Thus, slowbro is quite possibly not a true evolution but instead what happens when a slowpoke is forced to give up its sheer laziness.

Slowking
The Royal Pokémon
Type: Water/Psychic
Official Registration #: 199
Entry: The evolved form of slowpoke, when given a king’s rock and traded. It is said that a king’s rock is actually a piece of fossilized shellder that, when traded, reverts back to being a shellder and subsequently bites its companion slowpoke’s head. Upon dual evolution, this shellder then leaks toxins into its host, which breaks down slowking’s literal mental barriers and gives it a drastic boost in intelligence. Given that this means slowking’s intelligence is chemically enhanced, the writer would like to take the time to note to younger readers that drugs do not, in fact, result in intelligence boosts in humans. Just say no, children, and stay in school. Unless you go on a trainer’s journey, at which point never eat mushrooms you can’t identify.

Bill, in case you were still wondering why Fennel won’t leave Amanita with you unless another adult is present to supervise, this. This is why. —LH

Mega Slowbro
The Hermit Crab Pokémon
Type: Water/Psychic
Official Registration #: 80+
Entry: The advanced form of slowbro, via slowbronite. Despite the expression on its face; its erratic, spinning battle style; and the fact that it has somehow been nearly completely consumed by its symbiotic shell, mega slowbro does not need assistance. It is trying its best, dear readers. Just … just let it.

The Ralts Line

bills-pokedex:

As an apology for our delay in both the response to the last question and our entries as a whole, please accept this special, extra entry for the day. Thank you for your patience. —LH

Ralts
The Feeling Pokémon
Type: Psychic/Fairy
Official Registration #: 280
Entry: A childlike pokémon native to the quieter forests of Hoenn. Because of its ability to sense the emotions of others, it typically avoids contact with anything that is not of the ralts line and is, therefore, extremely rare and difficult to find. However, because of its timidity, its soft but cute cry, and its eagerness to please others (in order to neutralize any negativity that surrounds it), it is also a popular pokémon among children and young adults … which very likely does absolutely nothing to alleviate ralts’s aversion to drama and high doses of extreme emotion.

Kirlia
The Emotion Pokémon
Type: Psychic/Fairy
Official Registration #: 281
Entry: The evolved form of ralts, by battle experience. Although kirlia possesses more mastery over its psychic abilities than its predecessor, it is still prone to being highly affected by the emotions of its trainer. For example, trainers who experience incredible emotions of joy or pride may cause their kirlia to dance with happiness. Trainers suffering through negative emotions will find that their kirlia has become lethargic and depressed. And trainers in the vicinity of other humans they find incredibly attractive will cause their kirlia to ███████

Really, Bill? Really? —LH

Gardevoir
The Embrace Pokémon
Type: Psychic/Fairy
Official Registration #: 282
Entry: The evolved form of kirlia, by battle experience. Only the strongest trainers who form the closest, most loving bonds with their kirlia may see their pokémon evolve to their final, natural forms. Thus, a gardevoir is born out of strong feelings of loyalty, so it stands to reason that gardevoir in general are inherently extremely protective of their trainers. This is true; all observable tamed gardevoir have been known to go to extreme lengths to protect their trainers from any potential threat. Unfortunately for most people, “extreme lengths” may include creating a miniature black hole, and “potential threat” may include literally anyone within five feet of their trainers.

Gallade
The Blade Pokémon
Type: Psychic/Fighting
Official Registration #: 475
Entry: The evolved form of male kirlia, by exposure to dawn stone. Although its sibling evolution results from the incredible bonds formed between a kirlia and another being, this does not mean gallade do not experience similarly intense urges to protect their trainers and loved ones. If anything, their ability to sense the emotions of potential foes, combined with the drive to battle inherent in all fighting-types and extreme fondness for using the swords hidden in their forearms, make them even more gung-ho about protecting the people and pokémon they value the most. Therefore, trainers should be extremely wary about teaching their gallade to attack only on command, rather than any time they sense danger. Well-meaning researchers who intend to give gallade to sisters with questionable tastes in men, however, are free to teach their pokémon whatever they wish.

They aren’t, but good try. —LH

Mega Gardevoir
The Embrace Pokémon
Type: Psychic/Fairy
Official Registration #: 282+
Entry: The advanced form of gardevoir, with gardevoirite. Due to this pokémon’s bridal appearance and strong associations with emotion, it’s said that those who manage to mega-evolve their gardevoir in tandem with a partner’s gallade are destined for one another. Unfortunately, the author has yet to verify these claims, as the only person he knows with a member of the ralts line has been a less-than-willing subject.

I’m not evolving my kirlia until he’s ready, just because you want to test the validity of old wives’ tales! Also, you don’t even have a gallade! —LH

Mega Gallade
The Blade Pokémon
Type: Psychic/Fighting
Official Registration #: 475+
Entry: The advanced form of gallade, with galladite. Due to this pokémon’s noble, swordsman-like appearance and strong associations with protection, it’s said that those who manage to mega-evolve their gallade in tandem with a partner’s gardevoir are their partner’s destined protector. Unfortunately, the author has yet to verify these claims, as the only person he knows who could secure a galladite for testing has been forbidden (by the editor of this blog) from selling evolution stones of any sort to him without the reassurance that it’s not for science.

Stop telling Steven you’ve gotten my permission too! —LH