Vulpix and Ninetales

bills-pokedex:

Vulpix
The Fox Pokémon
Type: Fire
Official Registration #: 37
Entry: A small, fox-like pokémon known for its beautiful tails, of which it has six when fully grown. While young, this pokémon’s fire abilities are mediocre at best, and its strongest move, Fire Blast, is roughly as potent as a charmeleon’s Flamethrower. However, in rare cases, vulpix may be born with the passive ability Drought, which allows it to subconsciously call down intense sunlight to strengthen any fire-type move used in its presence. Incidentally, this small, fox-like creature shares the aforementioned ability with the legendary behemoth of the earth, Groudon, a beast known for nearly destroying the world beneath the unrelenting sunlight it called forth. …Which is to say that the pokémon world is a bizarre and terrifying thing sometimes.

Ninetales
The Fox Pokémon
Type: Fire
Official Registration #: 38
Entry: The evolved form of vulpix, via exposure to fire stone. The legend that a ninetales will lay a thousand-year curse on you if you touch one of its tails is exactly that: a legend and therefore not true. What is true, however, is the fact that ninetales are generally sensitive about their tails and will set you on fire if you so much as accidentally brush up against one.

Vulpix (Alola form)
The Fox Pokémon
Type: Ice
Official Registration #: 37
Entry: This adorable cousin to the common vulpix, known by native Alolans as keokeo, is popular in the region not only for its cute appearance but also its practicality. When the weather is warmer than it likes, Alolan vulpix will fan its cloud-like tails and create ice crystals from them, effectively serving as a living air conditioner for its immediate surroundings. However, although it may be tempting to venture into its native habitat on the slopes of Mount Lanakila to catch one, a trainer should be warned that this is a dangerous idea, largely because of the vulpix themselves. Attempting to catch an Alolan vulpix may incur the wrath of other vulpix (which typically freeze intruders solid) but also the ninetales that always lurks near vulpix kits (which will freeze intruders solid before throwing them off the mountain). On the positive side, if your goal was to catch a vulpix in order to cool yourself off on hot Alolan summer afternoons, at least you’ll have that.

Ninetales (Alola form)
The Fox Pokémon
Type: Ice/Fairy
Official Registration #: 38
Entry: The evolved form of Alolan vulpix, by exposure to ice stone. This beautiful Alolan cousin to the common ninetales was once worshipped by native Alolans due to its rarity, ethereal nature, and tendency to dwell only on the peak of Mount Lanakila, the tallest and most sacred site in all of Alola. To this day, it acts as a guardian of Mount Lanakila by guiding wayward souls down the snowy slopes … purely because that’s the only way to get them to leave faster. In other words, this is yet another pokémon after the author’s own heart.

The Geodude Line

bills-pokedex:

Geodude
The Rock Pokémon
Type: Rock/Ground
Official Registration #: 74
Entry: A stony pokémon native to mountainous areas, particularly those of the Kanto, Johto, Hoenn, and Sinnoh regions. At rest, geodude look exactly like ordinary boulders, to the point where it’s not uncommon for even the most careful hikers to trip over them. It should be noted that not only will geodude become violently angry if you trip over them or their brethren, but also, geodude are extremely common pokémon to the aforementioned mountainous regions. To any trainers currently journeying through the mountains, the author wishes you godspeed.

Graveler
The Rock Pokémon
Type: Rock/Ground
Official Registration #: 75
Entry: The evolved form of geodude, by battle experience. Wild graveler subsist entirely on rocks. It will consume at least a ton of these on a daily basis, usually while on the move from the peak of its native mountains to the base and back again. Unfortunately, graveler are not particularly careful pokémon, and they, too, have difficulty distinguishing ordinary rocks from the surrounding geodude. On the positive side, graveler are capable of managing geodude populations singlehandedly, so at the very least, geodude overpopulation has never been nor will ever be an issue to the human race.

Golem
The Megaton Pokémon
Type: Rock/Ground
Official Registration #: 76
Entry: The evolved form of graveler, via trading. This boulder-like pokémon’s shell is so hard it can withstand high-powered blasts, including the ones it generates itself. For this reason, it prefers traveling in this manner, propelling itself from mountainside to mountainside through the force generated by Explosion. A golem falling from the sky is not an uncommon occurrence in the harsh environment of the Johtonian mountains, so to any trainers currently journeying through that particular region, the author wishes you godspeed especially.

Geodude (Alola form)
The Rock Pokémon
Type: Rock/Electric
Official Registration #: 74
Entry: A rock-like pokémon native to the rugged, desert-like terrains of Ula’ula Island. If you accidentally step on an Alolan geodude sleeping on the ground, you’ll hear a crunching sound and feel a shock ripple through your entire body. Followed by, of course, something considerably worse, as you would have stepped on a live geodude.

Graveler (Alola form)
The Rock Pokémon
Type: Rock/Electric
Official Registration #: 75
Entry: The evolved form of Alolan geodude, by battle experience. When two Alolan graveler fight each other, it fills their surroundings with flashes of light and sound. Some people call this display the “fireworks of the earth.” Other, far more sensible people call it “oh gods oh gods we’re all going to die.”

Golem (Alola form)
The Megaton Pokémon
Type: Rock/Electric
Official Registration #: 76
Entry: The evolved form of Alolan graveler, via trading. An ornery pokémon, the Alolan golem is known to fire boulders charged with electricity to drive intruders on its territory away. If no boulders in its general vicinity can be found, it may switch to Alolan geodude. Either way, no pokémon says “[EXPLETIVE DELETED] you” to flying-types and vulnerable sacks of meat (such as and especially humans) more enthusiastically than the Alolan golem, apparently.

The Rattata Line

bills-pokedex:

Rattata
The Mouse Pokémon
Type: Normal
Official Registration #: 19
Entry: As one of the most common pokémon in Kanto and Johto, rattata are typically among the first team members for many beginning trainers. Small, quick, cautious, hardy, and very fond of biting things with its large front teeth, rattata may be known for their survival skills in the wild, but its lack of elemental aptitude and its less-than-ideal defenses mean that rattata are among the most commonly “boxed” pokémon in existence. However, recently, rattata has gained popularity among younger trainers, not because of its cute appearance or its availability but instead because of the inexplicable trend among such trainers to obtain and raise the “top percentage rattata.”

Raticate
The Mouse Pokémon
Type: Normal
Official Registration #: 20
Entry: The evolved form of rattata, by battle experience. Raticate depend on its whiskers to maintain its balance, and while this pokémon may be quick and agile with its whiskers intact, cutting them off is a sure-fire way to slow and disorient a raticate. Incidentally, cutting off a raticate’s whiskers is also a sure-fire way to get mauled by a forty-pound rat with six-inch fangs.

Rattata (Alola form)
The Mouse Pokémon
Type: Dark/Normal
Official Registration #: 19
Entry: The Alolan cousin to the common rattata is an extremely discerning pokémon that will seldom touch any kind of produce that isn’t fresh. Some trainers use this to their advantage by taking an Alolan rattata with them when they shop for groceries so that these rattata can scout out the freshest produce for them. Others trainers do not because they’re sensible people who know exactly what happens when you bring rats into any establishment that sells food.

Raticate (Alola form)
The Mouse Pokémon
Type: Dark/Normal
Official Registration #: 20
Entry: The evolved form of Alolan rattata, by battle experience, at night. These rat-like pokémon are highly sociable but only to an extent. They’re notorious for forming clans of Alolan rattata that serve them by venturing out of the nest and gathering as much food as possible, even if not all of that food gets eaten. Because of the greed exhibited by the Alolan raticate, members of this species do not get along with one another and are known to wage intense and violent territory disputes using their rattata foot soldiers. Incidentally, this also describes the climate of southern Goldenrod, just in case anyone would like recommendations for vacation destinations this summer.

Onix and Steelix

bills-pokedex:

Onix
The Rock Snake Pokémon
Type: Rock/Ground
Official Registration #: 96
Entry: A giant serpentine pokémon native to the cave systems of Kanto and Johto. As it grows, onix’s stone body hardens until its skin resembles diamond, which protects it as it burrows at high speeds in search of sustenance … all of which is not an extended euphemism, contrary to the opinions of the Sinnohan storage system administrator.

Steelix
The Iron Snake Pokémon
Type: Steel/Ground
Official Registration #: 208
Entry: The evolved form of onix, most easily via trading if the subject has had a metal coat applied to it. As this snake-like pokémon ages, it burrows deeper into the ground, where the pressure of the earth itself and the heat from the planet’s core tempers its steel skin. While tamed steelix may have this coat artificially applied to it before trading, it is possible for steelix to evolve from wild onix. Using this process, steelix initially have a rocky hide but form their coats from the minerals it consumes as it burrows. A sheath begins to form on its face first (as this is the first thing that burrows into the ground) but gradually slides backwards until it coats the entire length of the specimen. Friction compacts and hardens this coat until the aforementioned process of tempering (via pressure from the earth and heat from the planetary core) may occur. And no, this is still not an extended euphemism, Bebe.

Mega Steelix
The Iron Snake Pokémon
Type: Steel/Ground
Official Registration #: 208+
Entry: The advanced form of steelix, via steelixite. As the result of mega evolution, this long, snake-like pokémon gains a considerable amount of power and mass. In fact, during its transformation, it not only grows in length, but its sheath hardens considerably, until excess matter is blown off the base of its head, and the author has decided that he is entirely unable to continue this entry because he can hear his Sinnohan counterpart cackling like a thirteen-year-old from all the way over here.

Rufflet and Braviary

bills-pokedex:

Rufflet
The Eaglet Pokémon
Type: Normal/Flying
Official Registration #: 627
Entry: An eagle-like pokémon known for its particularly fascinating tendency to stand up to any opponent, no matter how large or powerful they may be. This is, in general, an honorable behavior to display. It is important to stand up for your principles, after all, even if those principles result in you rolling down Cycling Road in a trash bin because you decided to stand up to the Celadon University rugby team while conveniently forgetting that you lack any sort of battling skills, hand-to-hand combat training, or, in fact, any semblance of hand-eye coordination.

To your credit, at least it was casserole day, so you had a cushion and free dinner. —LH

Braviary
The Valiant Pokémon
Type: Normal/Flying
Official Registration #: 628
Entry: The evolved form of rufflet, by battle experience. A large, eagle-like pokémon that will fight for its friends, regardless of the risks to itself. Because of this behavior, braviary has been taken to be a symbol of sorts to various regions and nations—including and especially Unova, where braviary represents FREEDOM. Which is, as the writer understands it from his good friends on the internet, a distinctly separate concept from freedom, as FREEDOM apparently involves far more fireworks, guns, ursaring, and acts of throwing perfectly good tea into a questionably good harbor.

Mega Braviary
The Valiant Pokémon
Type: Normal/Flying
Official Registration #: 628+
Entry: The advanced form of braviary, via heightened FREEDOM. It’s just a braviary with more guns, less inhibitions, and a questionable moral compass. Its hobbies include speaking very loudly and dumping perfectly good tea into harbors.

Bill … this pokémon doesn’t even exist. Are you just posting this because you’re still angry about that one time someone dumped tea into your pond? —LH

I didn’t think he’d actually do it! —Bill

Hoenn Legendaries! Mostly Rayquaza. :D

bills-pokedex:

Well, there are certainly a number of fascinating stories about the Hoenn region, and a single post can’t quite do them all justice. For that reason, let this be the first in a (half-)week-long Hoenn special.

Starting with, of course:

Rayquaza
The Sky High Pokémon
Type: Dragon/Flying
Official Registration #: 384
Entry: According to Hoennian lore, this legendary dragon has lived for millions of years in the uppermost layers of the planet’s atmosphere, and because of how far high and how fast it flies, only recently (comparatively speaking) has humanity developed the technology that makes it possible to see Rayquaza in flight. Otherwise, it does not leave this part of the atmosphere except for when Earth is in imminent danger. Rather, it glides ever vigilantly across the sky, sleeping rarely and eating nothing but the tops of thunderclouds and incoming meteoroids. The author really has nothing funny to say about Rayquaza; he just thinks the idea of an eternal, meteoroid-consuming dragon flying across the edge of space is awesome.

Mega Rayquaza
The Sky High Pokémon
Type: Dragon/Flying
Official Registration #: 384+
Entry:
The advanced form of Rayquaza, via heightened draconic energies. According to ancient legend of the Draconid people, the legendary Rayquaza is capable of mega evolving if it engages in the ancient dance of Dragon Ascent after consuming a meteorite. This is only partially true. While Rayquaza can indeed mega evolve upon executing Dragon Ascent, its body is apparently not all that discerning when it comes to what it needs to consume in order to obtain enough cosmic energies for mega evolution. While meteors are indeed among the possible objects Rayquaza can consume for such energy, it’s more common that Rayquaza’s mega evolutions are powered by the souls of minior.

You’re welcome.

Cubone and Marowak please!

bills-pokedex:

Strange that I’ve never covered this line. They’re truly fascinating pokémon. As they say, coming right up, anonymous!

Cubone
The Lonely Pokémon
Type: Ground
Official Registration #: 104
Entry: Because young cubone are both weak and the favored prey of many pokémon in its native mountains and cave systems, its marowak mother will almost always sacrifice herself to protect her child early in life. As part of its mourning process, the orphaned cubone, sometimes with the help of the rest of its community, will give its mother a funeral, complete with the ritualistic extraction of her skull and one of her femurs. These bones will then become the cubone’s armor and will serve to protect it throughout its life. Either because of the fact that it always carries around a reminder of its mother or because the experience of losing her early in life has scarred it for life, the cubone will never fully heal from the trauma. In fact, the lines that appear to be cracks along the eye sockets of its skull helmet are not cracks but rather stains left by the tears it constantly sheds. The author really has nothing else to add to this entry; he just wanted to inform his readers that those are tear tracks. You’re welcome.

Marowak
The Bone Keeper Pokémon
Type: Ground
Official Registration #: 105
Entry: The evolved form of cubone, by battle experience. Even after evolution, marowak do not find relief from the traumas they had experienced. Instead, evolution brings about the boost in power and confidence that they need to train harder and master the use of bones as melee weapons. Once mastering their style, they collect more bones to add to their armory. No one is quite certain where marowak gets these bones. Some say they excavate them from marowak graveyards. Others who are well aware of the fact that marowak evolve from cubone who had been forced to bury their mothers simply stare at the first group of people in quiet, unbelieving horror while silently praying that marowak just happen upon the remains of other dead pokémon.

Marowak (Alola form)
The Bone Keeper Pokémon
Type: Fire/Ghost
Official Registration #: 105
Entry: The evolved form of cubone, by battle experience, at night, in the Alolan climate. Due to the abundance of its natural predators (that is, grass-types or pokémon that can learn grass-type moves) in Alola, cubone that evolve there take on an affinity for the fire type. Meanwhile, due to the spiritual energies associated with their bone clubs (which are said to not only have come from their mothers but also be possessed by their mothers’ vengeful spirits), they also gain an affinity for the ghost type, resulting in the distinctive fire/ghost Alolan marowak. In other words, with these two origins combined, Alolan marowak is one of the few evolutions to exist that was absolutely, completely born out of raw spite.

The Bagon Line

bills-pokedex:

Bagon
The Rock Head Pokémon
Type: Dragon
Official Registration #: 371
Entry: A small, dragon-like pokémon first discovered in the cave systems of Hoenn. The most notable fact about this dragon-like pokémon is its passion for learning how to fly. Indeed, it believes it can fly. It believes it can touch the sky. It thinks about it every night and day: spreading its wings and flying away.

I don’t know what’s worse: the fact that you know that song in the first place or the fact that you’re not above quoting it in lieu of a proper entry. —LH

Shelgon
The Endurance Pokémon
Type: Dragon
Official Registration #: 372
Entry: The evolved form of bagon, by battle experience. Shelgon is essentially the ultimate middle evolution. It represents the crossroads between the ever idealistic bagon with its dreams of flying and the high-flying salamence. However, in the process, shelgon is also literally a chrysalis, a stage in which a member of the bagon family slowly turns into a flight-capable pokémon, cell by cell. As such, shelgon possesses a hard, armor-like shell that fully protects it from any physical assault during its transformation. Although such a shell is rock-hard, it’s also extremely cumbersome, and because of this, most shelgon are slow and sluggish. This, of course, is a good thing—not because its slow pace allows it to focus on bracing for impact and more because it allows the average researcher to test exactly how durable this shell and then run away before enduring a Bite themselves.

Salamence
The Dragon Pokémon
Type: Dragon/Flying
Official Registration #: 373
Entry: The evolved form of shelgon, by battle experience. Also: a large, dragon-like pokémon that is roughly the size and shape of a winged wailmer. According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way this pokémon should be able to fly. Its wings are too awkwardly shaped to get its hefty body off the ground. The salamence, of course, flies anyway because it doesn’t care what humans think is impossible.

Okay, now you’re just being lazy. It’s not even a bee. —LH

To be fair, it’s a dragon-type, dragon-like pokémon the Symposium saw fit to call “the dragon pokémon.” I firmly believe I’m the least lazy person involved with distributing information about it. —Bill

Mega Salamence
The Dragon Pokémon
Type: Dragon/Flying
Official Registration #: 373+
Entry: The advanced form of salamence, via salamencite. Pokédex entries about this pokémon’s viciousness are greatly exaggerated. While it’s very true that mega salamence descend from the skies at high speeds and that in doing so, it may slice an opponent in half, in reality, this has less to do with its temper or lust for violence and more to do with the fact that its new form is not, generally speaking, designed for steering.

Swablu and Altaria

bills-pokedex:

Swablu
The Cotton Bird Pokémon
Type: Normal/Flying
Official Registration #: 333
Entry: A small, bluebird-like pokémon most commonly found in the mountains of Hoenn. This gentle pokémon is known for its highly friendly demeanor towards humans. When a human wanders into their territory, swablu like to swoop in and settle onto the human’s head like a hat made of down and soft, pillowy cotton. This specific behavior is likely due to the swablu’s preference for soft, pliable building materials for their nests, so therefore, it is said that if a swablu settles on you, then it deems you both trustworthy and comfortable. If, however, two swablu settle on you and proceed to lay eggs on your head, then they deem you extremely trustworthy and comfortable. Or at least this is what the author’s partner and editor assured him when he suddenly found himself with an entire team of swablu.

Altaria
The Humming Pokémon
Type: Dragon/Flying
Official Registration #: 334
Entry: The evolved form of swablu, by battle experience. This graceful pokémon is known for its singing ability and its soft, cloud-like wings. When bonding with its trainer, an altaria will envelope said trainer in its wings and sing a beautiful, soothing melody to lull them to sleep. Or, at least, scientists assume this is an act of bonding and that any unfortunate mishaps involving dense wings and songs that lull a human to sleep are entirely accidental. This is also something the author’s editor (or, rather, her sister) assures him whenever her altaria shows “displays of affection” and “excitement to see him.”

Mega Altaria
The Humming Pokémon
Type: Dragon/Fairy
Official Registration #: 334+
Entry: The advanced form of altaria, via altarianite. The mega evolution of altaria is noted for being far more sociable and vocal than its base form. It’s highly affectionate, and it often sings a soothing, melodic tone when it’s about to display affection towards a given target. This is handy for said target, by the way, should he wish to not be smothered to near death by a cloud of feathers from a very familiar altaria. Again.

Sandshrew and Sandslash

bills-pokedex:

Sandshrew
The Mouse Pokémon
Type: Ground
Official Registration #: 27
Entry: A pangolin-like pokémon native to dry grasslands and deserts. This pokémon possesses a rough, sandy hide capable of soaking up moisture from the dirt around it as it digs its burrows. Because of the consistency of its hide—along with its unique, sponge-like ability—sandshrew don’t need to drink much water and, in fact, shy away from it in all its forms as much as possible. Except, of course, in Alola, where sandshrew have adapted to become ice and steel types for reasons that surely make sense in a region that hosts plenty of other habitats a sandshrew can congregate in.

Sandslash
The Mouse Pokémon
Type: Ground
Official Registration #: 28
Entry: The evolved form of sandshrew, by battle experience. This pokémon is covered in sharp spikes, which are actually hardened sections of its hide. These spikes serve a largely defensive purpose: when threatened, a sandshrew will curl into a ball, forcing its spikes to stand on end and discourage physical attacks. In rare cases, a sandslash may be able to spin and move while in this position, thus crashing into enemies and obstacles. Such sandslash have also been noted to be faster, slightly bluer, and somehow “cooler” than other members of its species.

Sandshrew (Alola form)
The Mouse Pokémon
Type: Ice/Steel
Official Registration #: 27
Entry: A shrew-like pokémon native to the snowy mountains of Alola’s Ula’ula Island. It’s known primarily for its icy, hard-as-steel carapace … and secondarily for the Alolan tradition of shoving this pokémon across icy fields to see who can send their sandshrew sliding the farthest. Alolans call this sport Extreme Curling; the rest of the world calls it pokémon cruelty.

Sandslash (Alola form)
The Mouse Pokémon
Type: Ice/Steel
Official Registration #: 28
Entry: The evolved form of Alolan sandshrew, by exposure to ice stone. When this blue pokémon curls itself into a ball, its steel spikes point outward, which allow it to destroy anything in its path as it rolls down the icy slopes of its home at high speeds, and the author knows what you’re thinking, but for the last time, sandslash is a pangolin-like pokémon, not an alien hedgehog.