How much trouble would I get into if I just so happened to have illegally downloaded a Porygon? Hypothetically of course. nervous laughter

That depends. If you have somehow bypassed the anti-piracy measures on a porygon to download one illegally, you could face hefty fines or jail time (depending on your country and its interpretation of pokémon theft), never mind a lawsuit from Silph Co. itself if you attempted to distribute an illegally downloaded porygon. In short, with the government and Silph Co. itself, I would say a lot of trouble.

However, should it be of any comfort to you, when it comes to the storage system and its involvement with all of this, you would likely receive a high five and a job offer, given my partner’s recruitment history. —LH

Is it just me or have Pikachu been becoming thinner over the years? I think I remember old images in the Pokedex having Pikachu being pumper and now its not?

Hmm. Is it possible that you’re from the Kanto region? Kanto pikachu are rather curious specimens, actually. The ones native to Viridian Forest and the surrounding area—as far south as Pallet Town, actually—seem a little meatier than any other pikachu in any other region.

There is, of course, a very reasonable explanation to this: the pikachu of western Kanto congregate in urban populations and are considered to be both wily and adorable. Thus, they have learned on their own that running up to humans and standing on their hind paws will yield positive results in the form of pokémon treats, peanuts, halves of sandwiches, and other edibles.

In other words, pikachu may seem fatter to you if you’ve lived in Kanto and have since left for other regions because only in Kanto has the human population managed to allow itself to be tamed by electric rodents.

Wait, I thought Cassius lived in Kalos. Did he move from Unova to Kalos to be an administrator? Also, what do you guys mean by Bill had a “reputation back then”? Just unapproachable or something else?

It’s true that Cassius spent most of his life in Kalos and once had ties to gang activity in Lumiose specifically. (He’s very open about both facts, although for obvious reasons, he’s prouder of the former.) However, he also spent some time traveling the world and working for shadier organizations before either of us found him.

Thankfully, this is all in the past, and Cassius has expressed no desire to return to that lifestyle. I’m also rather proud of him because he’s had a clean record for the past few years. He hasn’t even gotten a parking ticket since his time as my protege, that’s how dedicated he is.

Concerning your other question, meanwhile … it may be easier to let Lanette explain.

Bill’s reputation was nothing insidious, really. He just had a tendency to “creep people out,” as the saying goes. You see, Bill spoke up enough in class, but he kept to himself for his first year of college otherwise. That is to say, you only really heard him speak in discussions within a classroom setting—with students, with the professor, that sort of thing. Otherwise, he was known to lurk just about anywhere: computer labs, libraries, popular student spots, class halls—all over campus. He’d rarely speak in those places (largely because he would rarely be seen with anyone to speak to), and he would often be working too hard to make his presence known. So you would be working hard late at night, browsing through the library, and all of a sudden, you’d stumble across a bedraggled little kid with his hair in his eyes like a horror movie cliché, just huddled in a corner at the very edge of your field of vision. Or you’d be walking along late at night from the computer lab across campus, and you’d turn around and find a kid wandering behind you who, up until that point, had been completely silent. People used to call him the “ghost kid” because of things like this.

Those who weren’t unsettled by Bill’s talent of popping up out of nowhere were unsettled by the fact that he was a little kid taking advanced physics. Granted, so was I, but Bill always looked younger than he actually was, especially back then. To make matters worse, he really was rather unapproachable in that he rarely expressed any interest in human interaction and was uncomfortably business-like when spoken to.

In all, before I met him, Bill had been a very difficult case. That is why I wanted to befriend him so badly, actually. He was a challenge. Getting him to be more personable towards humans for the sake of our investors and employers … even more so. —LH

A challenge? I’m not sure whether or not I should be flattered. —Bill

Mm, remember, Bill, I’ve known you for almost a decade. —LH

Ah, true. Well, in that case, I thank you kindly for the compliment. —Bill

How did you meet/hire the various other region administrators?

Editor’s Note: Bill and I felt it was appropriate to respond to this question together, and in order to present our response, we thought it would be easiest to give you the transcript of our conversation, rather than simply have Bill speak with my comments interjected now and then. —LH

BILL
Well, if we count everyone, Brigette was fairly easy to recruit. As Lanette’s sister, one of us already knew her and what she could do. The tricky part was convincing her that the storage system was a viable idea, as she was one of the few individuals privy to its development.

LH
She was also not very fond of you.

BILL
Yes, true. To explain, I had … a reputation back then.

LH
Most of our fellow students at Celadon University thought he was rather … difficult to approach. He didn’t bother me, but Brigette was a different matter. It took my active involvement and several attempts at forming a study group to get the two to meet properly.

BILL
[laughs] Yes, I remember that.

LH
And then there was Bebe.

BILL
Oh yes. Bebe. We didn’t so much meet her as she met us.

LH
After the establishment of the system, we started a message board as a means of connecting with people interested in working with our software. It seemed logical, as we both wanted the system to be as open-source as possible. Bebe joined fairly early on with other users from Johto.

BILL
We first noticed her not only because she was an active user but also because she would frequently reach out to new members and help us answer their questions.

LH
Of course, the fact that she was from Goldenrod City might have helped her case in Bill’s eyes too.

BILL
Well, it certainly didn’t hurt! In any case, when we were establishing a new branch of the storage system in Sinnoh, we knew we wouldn’t be able to handle it ourselves, so instead, we decided to collect applications from the most helpful users on our board. Bebe and the Sunyshore City gym leader, Volkner, were among the topmost promising candidates, but in the end, we felt Bebe was the stronger of the two in terms of system knowledge and interpersonal communication.

LH
Also, you had that disagreement with Volkner that led to—

BILL
Amanita. Her story was similar to Brigette’s, actually. We met Dr. Fennel through college, so when we decided to extend the system into Unova, she was naturally our first choice to run it. Unfortunately, she had just started on her own research into the Dream World and thus wanted to devote her energies to that instead of establishing the system. Perfectly understandable, if you ask me.

LH
Of course. So, Bill and I went to Unova to choose another candidate from a list of Fennel’s personal recommendations. But then, Bill noticed little Amanita working alongside Fennel, and the aforementioned list was thrown right out the window.

BILL
When a then-five-year-old is calibrating a pokémon EEG device by herself, you simply must stop to talk to her.

LH
I can’t blame you for that. I believe we nearly forgot about Celio, by the way?

BILL
Ah yes. Well, technically, I met Celio right around the same time as Bebe. He had joined the same board, but he was always more of a quiet member. His posts were valuable, of course, but he preferred as quiet an existence as possible. It wasn’t until I’d met him when giving a talk at Celadon University years later that he introduced himself and showed me a sample of his work. I had shared the sample with Lanette, and right away, the both of us were impressed.

LH
So naturally, we set him up with an online apprenticeship. We both taught him everything we knew, although I do believe Bill always spent more time with him.

BILL
He’s certainly a promising candidate. Perhaps if the Sevii Islands ever establishes a proper league or if we ever find a suitable place for him, we can make his inclusion among us more official.

LH
Until then, I certainly appreciate his work connecting our systems.

BILL
Oh yes. So I suppose that leaves us with Cassius.

LH
Cassius hacked into the system, and rather than pressing charges, Bill thought it would be a great idea to have him do some community service, if by “community service,” one means “work for the system he was hacking into on behalf of a mysterious benefactor in Unova who almost certainly was Team Plasma.”

BILL
To be fair, it worked. Cassius turned into a completely trustworthy member of our team … although his work ethic may leave something to be desired.

LH
Bill, everyone’s work ethic leaves something to be desired compared to yours. Also, how did you even do that, anyway?

BILL
What, get Cassius to reform? Charisma, my dear Lanette. Charisma.

LH
Right. Anyway, I think that’s everyone, except for Hayley, but Hayley is Bebe’s friend and also not technically an administrator, so—

BILL
Hold on, Lanette. We haven’t talked about how we met.

LH
Ah, but don’t you think we’ve gone on long enough?

BILL
[laughs] True. It would be nice to spare some mystery in all of this, wouldn’t it?

LH
Exactly.

Lanette what was the first pokemon that you ever had? And how many PokeDolls do you own?

If we don’t count any pokémon my family collectively owned, my starter was a mudkip, which I had received at the age of ten from a newly instated Professor Birch. That mudkip eventually grew into a swampert, one of my closest friends, aside from my sister and the other administrators.

As for your second question, I own a modest collection.
— LH

She owns enough to fill a bed and several shelves. They’re quite literally everywhere in her house. —Bill

Yes. As I’ve said, a modest collection. —LH

I was looking through the Archive and was wondering, Lanette, could you tell us more about the incident in Lavender Town that began with Bebe and a bottle of whiskey and ended with an exorcism?

During that research expedition, we learned that possession by ghost pokémon only happens if the subject is weak-willed or if the subject invites a ghost-type to possess them. Of course, all three of us have naturally strong wills due to the rigors of our studies, and among us, Bill is the only one who has undergone additional meditative training specifically designed to build resistance to psychic and spiritual influences, thanks to his prolonged exposure to a kadabra.

Unfortunately, all the training and rigorous study habits in the world mean absolutely nothing when you lack your Scottish ancestors’ legendary alcohol tolerance but possess, in its stead, an insatiable curiosity as well as the belief that the best way to interact with a pokémon is directly, usually by way of inviting it to do—and I quote—“whatever it would do naturally.”
—LH

On the positive side, we gained a lot of valuable data from that. —Bill

Bill, we were forced to chain you to the floor. —LH

The porygon I got from the game corner has been trying to possess my Pokedex. I’ve heard of rotom occasionally trying to do this, but what would happen if porygon managed to? Is there risk to porygon or the data in the ‘dex?

It certainly depends on whether or not you plan on evolving it. A porygon by itself is actually a rather obedient pokémon and will follow your instructions to the letter. It’s simply attempting to integrate with what it perceives to be a more comfortable environment, and once it’s there, any risk to the health of either the porygon or your pokédex is rather minimal, as your porygon will work alongside your pokédex’s software and thrive in its native format. In short, you very likely won’t even notice it, save for possibly a slight increase in your pokédex’s efficiency.

Should you upgrade your pokédex with a porygon inside it, however, this will still satisfy its requirements for evolution, even though you haven’t given it its upgrade software or sent it through a trading machine. Some trainers even find this a more approachable alternative to purchasing a separate upgrade and finding a trainer with whom to trade. Additionally, once evolved, porygon2 gains a more refined AI, which is designed specifically to go out of its way to help its trainer in any way possible. Thus, a pokédex containing a porygon2 will perform better and faster than a pokédex with a porygon or an uninhabited pokédex, all because the porygon2 within it is better at understanding and executing commands than its predecessor or the pokédex alone.

However, once upgraded, be sure to withdraw your porygon2 from your pokédex before attempting any further upgrades, and beware of any downloads you receive on your device. Any upgrades will result in your porygon2 evolving into porygon-z, which…

Let’s just say that porygon-z goes to considerable lengths to do anything but behave in a way that makes remote sense. In the best case scenario, it may manifest a Zap Cannon from within the confines of your device’s hardware, resulting in the destruction of your device (and possibly your bag and its contents). In what’s not quite the worst case scenario but the scenario that’s significantly less appealing, your pokédex will automatically take you to the strange parts of YouTube every time you try to look up an entry. Maybe. There are … there are cases worse than that, actually.

Lanette, Bill has told us that he has never been fortunate enough to encounter a legendary, but have you? What legendary would you most hope to encounter?

Unfortunately no, anonymous, although I’ve certainly seen the effects of the Hoenn-based legendaries’ awakening. It’s rather difficult to ignore the abnormally torrential downpours or the excruciatingly bright sunlight. My poor berry plants suffered as a result of that.

Of course, it’s always been my dream to see one, but as a researcher and pokémon enthusiast myself, it’s merely logical that I would. That being said, contrary to what Bill would have you believe, I’m thoroughly convinced that the best legendaries to meet are from right here in the Hoenn region. I’m speaking, of course, of specifically Jirachi and the Lati twins. It’s hard to resist a legendary that can grant wishes or the mysteries of the guardian duo. Or perhaps a better answer might be Deoxys, whose origins as a mutated extraterrestrial virus make it particularly scientifically fascinating.

Then again, Sinnoh also hosts quite a number of interesting legendaries itself! Beings that control time and space, a dragon that occupies a completely separate dimension from our own, a fairy that gave us intelligence (although perhaps not Uxie, given that it also possess the power to erase a human’s memory…), the empress of dreams … it’s quite difficult to choose, I suppose.

On the other hand, perhaps Jirachi, when everything is said and done. After all, if it was possible to wish for anything, then it would stand to reason that one could simply wish for other legendaries to appear, wouldn’t you agree?
—LH

(…It seems I don’t have the heart to tell her this would be cheating. —Bill)