Skiddo and Gogoat

Skiddo
The Mount Pokémon
Type: Grass
Official Registration #: 672
Entry: Historical records indicate that skiddo was one of the first pokémon ever domesticated—which, given its placid nature, the fact that it requires very little food if given sunlight and water, and its general hardiness, is very likely an accurate statement. It is also known to be the first pokémon ever domesticated for the purpose of serving as transport … which, given its maximum height of three feet and given the average prehistoric human height of about five feet, is both impressive and a reasonable explanation for why ancient human remains from the Kalos region frequently show signs of distress around the knee area.

Gogoat
The Mount Pokémon
Type: Grass
Official Registration #: 673
Entry: The evolved form of skiddo, by battle experience. At a height of five and a half feet, gogoat is a far better option than skiddo in terms of transportation. Its horns are also extremely sensitive and capable of picking up on the emotions of its riders, allowing it to make reasonable judgments in route and speed. However, it should also be noted that gogoat also have a tendency to ram fellow gogoat with its horns as a display of dominance, so it is highly, highly discouraged to ride gogoat in the vicinity of the rest of its own herd.

Helioptile and Heliolisk

Helioptile
The Generator Pokémon
Type: Electric/Normal
Official Registration #: 694
Entry: This foot-tall reptilian pokémon lives in the desert, where it gains energy by gathering sunlight via the electrical cells on the tips of its long, ear-like frills. Although it looks adorable with its rabbit-like frills and wide, round eyes, petting it is highly discouraged, as its dry skin is rough and, more importantly, prone to discharging of all its stored electricity directly into its hapless trainer upon physical contact.

Heliolisk
The Generator Pokémon
Type: Electric/Normal
Official Registration #: 695
Entry: The evolved form of helioptile, by exposure to sun stone. It is fairly easy to discern a heliolisk’s current emotions, based on its highly visible body language. For example, if the heliolisk’s neck frill is retracted and the heliolisk itself is resting on all fours, then it is relaxed and approachable. By contrast, if it is currently standing on its hind feet with its frill extended as it discharges several thousand volts of electricity into your body via Thunder, then there is a very good chance that it perceives you as a threat.

Pancham and Pangoro

{This and the following four entries are by request of @the-firebrand. Thanks! 😀 —The Mod}

Pancham
The Playful Pokémon
Type: Fighting
Official Registration #: 674
Entry: This two-foot-tall panda pokémon will do anything it can to make its enemies take it seriously. Thus, it frequently adopts a confident swagger on the battlefield while chewing on a leaf to make it look tougher than it actually is. In truth, this is a cuddly pokémon that can be easily distracted with petting, although this is rarely recommended, not because it can pack a powerful punch (although it certainly can) but instead because this embarrasses it immensely.

Pangoro
The Daunting Pokémon
Type: Dark/Fighting
Official Registration #: 675
Entry: The evolved form of pancham, by battle experience if raised alongside a dark-type pokémon. Unlike its previous form, pangoro are notorious for being seven-foot-tall, 300-pound mountains of muscle, claws, and rage. If confronted with anything that even slightly resembles bullying, it will charge the offender and smash them with their giant paws, which are strong enough to snap telephone poles in half. Incidentally, this reaction also applies to anyone who subjected them to humiliation as pancham, so to those of you who had a habit of cuddling your pancham because they were fuzzy and adorable … never evolve your pancham. Ever.

Hi Bill, I’d love to hear about your research on the Espurr line, especially any notes you have on the differences between male and female Meowstic. Thank you!

Certainly!

Espurr
The Restraint Pokémon
Type: Psychic
Official Registration #: 677
Entry: Espurr release psychic waves from organs hidden beneath their ears. These psychic waves are incredibly potent and capable of destroying anything within a 300-foot radius of itself, yet curiously, the only thing stopping it from doing so is literally its ears. The fact that it is known as “the restraint pokémon” seems to be either a misunderstanding or a sardonic note on behalf of a particularly terrible researcher, although recent studies have shown that the expression on its face is not blank but rather a strained expression of raw panic. In short, handle with care.

Meowstic (male)
The Constraint Pokémon
Type: Psychic
Official Registration #: 678
Entry: The evolved form of male espurr, by battle experience. Although technically the same species, meowstic display a fascinating form of gender dimorphism. Whereas female meowstic are developed to be more noticeable and aggressive, male meowstic are armed with dark fur and several abilities capable of disabling or hindering its opponents. In other words, stray male meowstic are not meant to be seen whenever they rob you blind and leave you disarmed and incapable of defending yourself in the rougher neighborhoods of Lumiose City.

Meowstic (female)
The Constraint Pokémon
Type: Psychic
Official Registration #: 678
Entry: The evolved form of female espurr, by battle experience. Although technically the same species, meowstic display a fascinating form of gender dimorphism. The female meowstic in particular possess a bright, white coat and several showy, powerful offensive abilities, both of which make females highly visible and noticeable. In this writer’s opinion, this is a rather handy fact, as it’s nice to see the highly territorial female meowstic coming after you after their male counterparts rob you blind in a Lumiose back alley. This will not save you from taking a Charge Beam in the chest purely because you happen to be in what they consider to be their territory, but when you find yourself in a back alley, one less surprise is a certain comfort.

Bill, what do you have to say about the Mr. Mime family?

Ah, the mime family.

Mime Jr.
The Mime Pokémon
Type: Psychic/Fairy
Official Registration #: 439
Entry: As a defensive maneuver, mime jr. mimics the expressions and motions of its predators. The enemy pokémon is thus so taken aback by this display that it can’t help but to hesitate long enough for the mime jr. to get away. The effectiveness of this maneuver may be difficult for some people to understand, so for a better idea of how and why this works, one should spend any amount of time in the general vicinity of a person and their younger siblings.

Mr. Mime
The Barrier Pokémon
Type: Psychic/Fairy
Official Registration #: 122
Entry: The evolved form of mime jr., by battle experience if the specimen knows Mimic. Despite its name, the mr. mime species is actually capable of being both male and female. Although it is difficult for this writer to admit, the name came from a notoriously sexist period of pokémonology and is based entirely on the misconception that only male organisms were capable of being terrible enough to manipulate impressionable humans into believing an object exists when it doesn’t until it does. As it turns out, both sexes of mr. mime do this, and the pokémonology community spent the ensuing sixty years pretending that the name came from an unfortunate translation error.