Dear LH, I have a Question Regarding RUmors of Nidoking and Rhydon being able to learn Surf. Is this utter fiction, or can these ground types actually swim, and if so, why isn’t it more well known? and are there OTHER non-water types that are surprisingly good swimmers?

[The following is the chat transcript between Bill and LH concerning the above two asks. Text has been edited only to correct typos. —Brigette]

Bill: ….

Bill: I suppose that’s one way of skipping the queue.

LH: As you always say, fortune favors the bold? I don’t think you can fault our audience for being creative. Or audacious.

Bill: True.

Bill: As much as I’d hate to admit it.

LH: In any case, should we answer this one together?

Bill: Together? As I recall, I’m still banned.

LH: Oh. Right.

LH: Well, okay. I can just have Brigette post this log.

Bill: Or you can lift my ban.

LH: First off, yes, it’s true that nidoking and rhydon can swim. Although you’d think they wouldn’t considering their typing and mass, they can actually withstand exposure to water for short periods of time. It’s not recommended that you have them swim entire oceans, of course, but they can at least hold their own in pools or slow rivers.

Bill: It’s really their hides that do it. Both nidoking and rhydon have thicker hides than a lot of rock- or ground-types, and they aren’t literal boulders like the geodude line or the roggenrola line. As such, water by and large stays out and can’t erode their inner plating, and the experience doesn’t sap their energy the way it would for a pokémon made of solid rock or earth. Well, that and they don’t simply sink to the bottom like stones.

LH: …was that a pun?

Bill: In any case, it’s not particularly well-known because it’s not a practice that’s encouraged. Even though they can swim, it’s still a risk for pokémon of their typing. Only particularly well-trained nidoking or rhydon can swim for long periods of time, and once they begin to sink, water can seep through their outer armor, reach the sensitive skin underneath, and consequently begin to react to their respective elements. Experienced trainers will only teach these pokémon Surf if and only if it becomes a focus of their routine, to the point where they dedicate a lot of training time to ensuring their pokémon can stay afloat; otherwise, most trainers will actively avoid these moves in favor of something that would better suit either species’ natural battle style.

LH: As for which pokémon are surprisingly good swimmers, there’s a long list, actually! On it are things like aggron, tyranitar, nidoqueen (of course), and even garchomp.

Bill: But arguably the most shocking is pikachu.

LH: Okay, that was definitely a pun.

Bill: …my ban is being extended, isn’t it?

LH: As we speak.

Bill: Worth it.

The Geodude Line

bills-pokedex:

Geodude
The Rock Pokémon
Type: Rock/Ground
Official Registration #: 74
Entry: A stony pokémon native to mountainous areas, particularly those of the Kanto, Johto, Hoenn, and Sinnoh regions. At rest, geodude look exactly like ordinary boulders, to the point where it’s not uncommon for even the most careful hikers to trip over them. It should be noted that not only will geodude become violently angry if you trip over them or their brethren, but also, geodude are extremely common pokémon to the aforementioned mountainous regions. To any trainers currently journeying through the mountains, the author wishes you godspeed.

Graveler
The Rock Pokémon
Type: Rock/Ground
Official Registration #: 75
Entry: The evolved form of geodude, by battle experience. Wild graveler subsist entirely on rocks. It will consume at least a ton of these on a daily basis, usually while on the move from the peak of its native mountains to the base and back again. Unfortunately, graveler are not particularly careful pokémon, and they, too, have difficulty distinguishing ordinary rocks from the surrounding geodude. On the positive side, graveler are capable of managing geodude populations singlehandedly, so at the very least, geodude overpopulation has never been nor will ever be an issue to the human race.

Golem
The Megaton Pokémon
Type: Rock/Ground
Official Registration #: 76
Entry: The evolved form of graveler, via trading. This boulder-like pokémon’s shell is so hard it can withstand high-powered blasts, including the ones it generates itself. For this reason, it prefers traveling in this manner, propelling itself from mountainside to mountainside through the force generated by Explosion. A golem falling from the sky is not an uncommon occurrence in the harsh environment of the Johtonian mountains, so to any trainers currently journeying through that particular region, the author wishes you godspeed especially.

Geodude (Alola form)
The Rock Pokémon
Type: Rock/Electric
Official Registration #: 74
Entry: A rock-like pokémon native to the rugged, desert-like terrains of Ula’ula Island. If you accidentally step on an Alolan geodude sleeping on the ground, you’ll hear a crunching sound and feel a shock ripple through your entire body. Followed by, of course, something considerably worse, as you would have stepped on a live geodude.

Graveler (Alola form)
The Rock Pokémon
Type: Rock/Electric
Official Registration #: 75
Entry: The evolved form of Alolan geodude, by battle experience. When two Alolan graveler fight each other, it fills their surroundings with flashes of light and sound. Some people call this display the “fireworks of the earth.” Other, far more sensible people call it “oh gods oh gods we’re all going to die.”

Golem (Alola form)
The Megaton Pokémon
Type: Rock/Electric
Official Registration #: 76
Entry: The evolved form of Alolan graveler, via trading. An ornery pokémon, the Alolan golem is known to fire boulders charged with electricity to drive intruders on its territory away. If no boulders in its general vicinity can be found, it may switch to Alolan geodude. Either way, no pokémon says “[EXPLETIVE DELETED] you” to flying-types and vulnerable sacks of meat (such as and especially humans) more enthusiastically than the Alolan golem, apparently.

Rockruff and Lycanroc

bills-pokedex:

Rockruff
The Puppy Pokémon
Type: Rock
Official Registration #: 744
Entry: Thought to be the cousin of growlithe, this small, puppy-like pokémon possesses very much the same disposition. It is highly loyal, and it’s very fond of humans. As such, it’s considered one of the easier pokémon for beginning trainers to start off with, as its loyal and agreeable disposition make it easy to teach rockruff new tricks. For this reason, rockruff is also generally considered to be a Good Dog.

Lycanroc (Midday Form)
The Wolf Pokémon
Type: Rock
Official Registration #: 745
Entry: The evolved form of rockruff, by battle experience, if trained during the day. Exposing rockruff to sunlight during its evolution causes it to evolve into a quadrupedal form of lycanroc. This form retains a lot of the same loyalty and agreeable disposition as its preevolved form, and as such, this pokémon is considered to be a stalwart battler and excellent companion. However, be warned: while it normally uses the sharp rocks around its collar as weapons, some retain the tendency to rub these rocks against their trainers as a form of affection. Considering the fact that these rocks can grow to be a foot long and roughly as sharp as knives, this may result in unfortunate mishaps. Nonetheless, this form of lycanroc is still generally considered to be a Good Dog.

Lycanroc (Midnight Form)
The Wolf Pokémon
Type: Rock
Official Registration #: 745
Entry: The evolved form of rockruff, by battle experience, if trained during the night. Allowing rockruff to evolve under the cover of night causes it to assume a more violent, impulsive form. While this form of lycanroc loses its rocky collar, it gains a hard head, which it uses to smash its opponents into submission after it goads them into attacking. Well aware of its boots in power, midnight lycanroc actively seeks opponents and will attack without being ordered to, rendering this form of lycanroc highly difficult to tame and train. However, despite the comparative difficulties of training this form (as opposed to rockruff or midday lycanroc), midnight lycanroc is not considered to be a Bad Dog but rather a Not Quite Great But Still Pretty All Right Dog.

Lycanroc (Dusk Form)
The Wolf Pokémon
Type: Rock
Official Registration #: 745
Entry: The evolved form of rockruff, by battle experience, if trained at dusk (if the subject’s ability is Own Tempo). When exposed to the fading light of dusk, some rockruff may evolve into a quadrupedal form that is, in many ways, the midpoint between midnight and midday lycanroc. Not only is it physically very much like a midpoint between these two forms (quadrupedal like the midday form but also covered with spikes similar to midnight’s), but also, its disposition is a rather unpredictable mix of midday’s calmness and midnight’s aggression. Yet despite this, lycanroc’s dusk form is not known for being a Good Dog or a Bad Dog or even a Not Quite Great But Still Pretty All Right Dog. Instead, it’s known for being a Cheeto Dog … because of its orange pelt. Because that’s just how the internet works.

UB Assembly: Stakataka

Stakataka
The Rampart Pokémon
Type: Rock/Steel
Official Registration #: 805
Entry: One of the Ultra Beasts, or strange pokémon that had appeared from another dimension. Although scientists consider it to be the heaviest known rock-type, it’s actually a colonial organism consisting of dozens if not hundreds of individual brick-like creatures stacked one on top of the other. However, the specific configuration they create maximizes their defensive potential, allowing them to withstand the toughest of blows and still stand tall and strong. For this reason, the author is told, it is often paired with gumshoos … although the relevance of any of this to gumshoos is, frankly, lost on the author.

Aerodactyl

bills-pokedex:

Aerodactyl
The Fossil Pokémon
Type: Rock/Flying
Official Registration #: 142
Entry: A ferocious, pterosaur-like pokémon that once ruled the skies of ancient Kanto. Aerodactyl is noteworthy in that it helped establish many practices used in modern paleo-pokémon ethology, which itself is an extremely specific but fascinating field. Much of what goes into paleo-pokémon ethology is guesswork, really. For example, when one sees a set of serrated teeth such as those of aerodactyl, one can safely assume that this pokémon used them for cutting into meat. When one sees wings and claws, one can assume that the pokémon in question was an aerial hunter. Of course, this method of hypothesizing and assuming behaviors based on physical traits of fossilized remains is not infallible. For another example, it was once assumed that aerodactyl was a vicious, fearless hunter, but recent resurrections of specimens using fossil revival technology has proven that aerodactyl are more like very large, very confused, very vocal parakeets.

Mega Aerodactyl
The Fossil Pokémon
Type: Rock/Flying
Official Registration #: 142+
Entry: The advanced form of aerodactyl, via aerodactylite. Some experts believe that the mega evolved form—with its boost in power, its generally violent temper, and its myriad of stone spikes and claws covering its rough skin—is the actual, true, original form of the aerodactyl species. Others recognize that there is actual fossil evidence to the contrary that has been part of public knowledge for decades, but this school of thought doesn’t have the heart to tell members of the other camp that they’re [REDACTED].

If you’re not willing to do a professor dex, why would you say this about other members of the Symposium? —LH

Because it’s true, and Professor Oak isn’t included in that first camp. —Bill

Oh, that second part explains it. —LH

Kalos Legendaries, Part I

bills-pokedex:

Carbink
The Jewel Pokémon
Type: Rock/Fairy
Official Registration #: 703
Entry: A small, imp-like pokémon native to the caves of Kalos. Having slept underground for millions of years, the minerals in its body has been tempered by the pressures and temperatures of the earth itself into precious stones, most notably pure diamond. Interestingly enough, despite supposedly being related to a legendary pokémon, carbink are not considered to be legendaries themselves and are in fact fairly common in their native cave systems, which in turn means their diamonds are not particularly rare. In conclusion, for those of you who are interested in female-identifying people, the old saying “diamonds are a girl’s best friend” is terrible advice, but “chocolate is a girl’s best friend” is usually not. Just a friendly tip.

Diancie
The Jewel Pokémon
Type: Rock/Fairy
Official Registration #: 719
Entry: According to Kalosean myth, this small, princess-like pokémon is the legendary of jewels. As such, it has the power to create diamonds by compressing the carbon in the air around it. Additionally, it is not only said to be the sudden transformation of carbink (through a surge of magical fairy energy), but it is also capable of mega evolving into an even more regal and powerful form. And on that note, the author is sorely tempted to make a reference to magical girls here, but unfortunately, the internet has beaten him to literally every possible one conceivable.

Mega Diancie
The Jewel Pokémon
Type: Rock/Fairy
Official Registration #: 719+
Entry: The advanced form of diancie, via diancite. Despite being a mythical pokémon, diancie has gained a considerable amount of popularity among girls, purely for its magical girl-like mega evolution, and consequently, mega diancie is featured in quite a few Japanese animated cartoons, including and most notably the hugely popular franchise Crystal Knight Mega Diancie. Unfortunately, this also means that mega diancie is considerably popular among certain types of older anime fans, and suffice to say, the author strongly urges one to never look into the Crystal Knight Mega Diancie subreddit.

The Aron Line

bills-pokedex:

Aron
The Iron Armor Pokémon
Type: Steel/Rock
Official Registration #: 304
Entry: A small but hefty tank-like pokémon originally discovered in the cave systems of Hoenn. Although these small but docile pokémon typically live deep underground, they thrive on iron and will thus rise to the surface in search of it if underground deposits run dry. In the process, they quickly become destructive forces of nature, capable of destroying anything within their paths easily until they consume the iron they need. They have been known to devour anything containing iron, including railroad tracks, cars, heavy equipment, sensitive research equipment, and more … yet the editor of this blog still considers them to be “cute” and “not at all dangerous” for some reason.

Lairon
The Iron Armor Pokémon
Type: Steel/Rock
Official Registration #: 305
Entry: The evolved form of aron, by battle experience. Aron, a pokémon that typically lives in herds, will congregate into similar herd structures after evolution. These herds typically congregate near mineral-rich underground springs, where they often engage in vicious battles with one another by slamming into each other’s armor, all in preparation for fights against invading pokémon or humans. Unfortunately, because their spring-side habitats tend to be closer to the surface than their nests as aron, they are known to lay waste to even more human-built structures, including mines, tunnels, or mountainside villages. For whatever reason, the editor of this blog thinks lairon is cute too.

Aggron
The Iron Armor Pokémon
Type: Steel/Rock
Official Registration #: 306
Entry: The evolved form of lairon, by battle experience. Upon evolution, aggron will break away from its former herd and roam vast, mountainous territory by itself. A single aggron will claim an entire mountain as its personal territory, and as such, aggron are known to aggressively repel other aggron—even those from its former herd—with incredible feats of violence. Lone aggron are therefore much easier to capture and train, and in fact, aggron are among the strongest pokémon available in the Hoenn region. Their popularity is only helped by the fact that the Hoennian champion, Steven Stone, includes one among his signature team … which, actually, might explain the editor’s predilection towards them.

What are you implying?! —LH

Mega Aggron
The Iron Armor Pokémon
Type: Steel
Official Registration #: 306+
Entry: The advanced form of aggron, via aggronite. Upon mega evolution, aggron loses its affinity for the rock type but gains a considerable boost in defensive and physically offensive capabilities. Some believe that, in conjunction with its own territorial nature and the existence of mega tyranitar, mega aggron is itself proof that there is no higher power in the universe, as clearly, monsters with world-ending abilities and devastating tempers are allowed to exist and be placed in the hands of a species with notoriously questionable levels of judgment. Others believe that this is actually proof that there is a higher power out there and that this higher power is both a pokémon and extremely puzzled that humans have managed to survive for as long as we have.

The editor of this blog, meanwhile, simply believes that a 400-pound armored behemoth with spikes quite literally everywhere and a strong tendency to protect the pristine state of its territory through the most violent means possible is cute.

Edit: Really? Nothing, Lanette? —Bill

Why would I have a comeback? It’s cute, and to be fair, the world could use more sentient tanks to protect the environment. —LH

Sometimes I forget how terrifying you are… —Bill

The Larvitar Line

bills-pokedex:

Larvitar
The Rock Skin Pokémon
Type: Rock/Ground
Official Registration #: 246
Entry: A two-foot-tall, dinosaur-like pokémon native to mountainous regions. Although it’s true that larvitar are born underground and eat soil and rocks until they tunnel to the surface, the idea that they eat entire mountains before evolution is entirely false. It just feels as if they do, as larvitar are, on average, almost 160 pounds, and they have a tendency to leap at their unsuspecting trainers when overwhelmed with the need to shower them with affection via a tackling hug.

Pupitar
The Hard Shell Pokémon
Type: Rock/Ground
Official Registration #: 247
Entry: The evolved form of larvitar, by battle experience. During evolution, larvitar encase themselves in a cocoon of rock. This stone shell is as hard and solid as bedrock, so while it fully protects the larvitar inside from any damage, it also constricts its limb movements. However, this doesn’t mean it’s entirely immobile, as pupitar possesses vents all over its body, which allow the highly compressed gases it creates within itself to escape in the form of powerful jets. In fact, these jets can be so powerful that they can propel pupitar wherever it needs to be faster than a number of other pokémon. This is, of course, doubly unfortunate for its trainer, as not only can pupitar launch itself like a rocket in any direction, but it’s also a 335-pound tank of pure destruction … that still enjoys showering its trainers with affection by throwing itself at them.

Tyranitar
The Armor Pokémon
Type: Rock/Dark
Official Registration #: 248
Entry: The evolved form of pupitar, by battle experience. On the positive side, tyranitar do not shower their trainers with affection by throwing themselves at them. On the negative side, tyranitar are highly destructive and aggressive pokémon who possess the ability to flatten miles of forest in seconds and who are constantly on the lookout for new opponents to fight, and tamed tyranitar consider doing both of these things (committing incredible amounts of property damage and fighting literally anything it can find) to be perfectly acceptable methods of showing affection towards their trainers.

Mega Tyranitar
The Armor Pokémon
Type: Rock/Dark
Official Registration #: 248+
Entry: The advanced form of tyranitar, via tyranitarite. On the positive side, achieving mega evolution with a tyranitar is proof that it and its trainer have formed an unbreakable, everlasting bond of friendship between each other. On the negative side, mega tyranitar are significantly faster, bulkier, and more powerful than their un-mega evolved forms, and the point about their generally highly aggressive nature still stands. Best of luck, trainers!

Dwebble and Crustle

Dwebble
The Rock Inn Pokémon
Type: Bug/Rock
Official Registration #: 557
Entry: This small, hermit crab-like pokémon conceals much of its fragile body inside a shell it carves from a rock. Many dwebble are discerning about this rock and can spend days searching for the perfect one for its tastes and needs. However, this rock does not grow with each dwebble, and every few months to few years (depending on the age of the dwebble in question), it must search out a new rock to carve into a new shell. Therefore, one easy way to study dwebble is by putting it in a room full of nothing but clear synthetic shells right as it’s about to begin the hunt for a new home. Not only will this allow one to observe its rarely seen soft abdomen, but it will also be a great opportunity to discover just how hard and fast a dwebble can throw a roomful of synthetic shells at the head of a human observer.

Crustle
The Stone Home Pokémon
Type: Bug/Rock
Official Registration #: 558
Entry: The evolved form of dwebble, by battle experience. While crustle shells are among the hardest shells in the pokémon world, they can easily be broken by other crustle shells. This happens when two or more crustle engage in battle with one another over territory. These battles can be extremely vicious and never end until one crustle’s shell is broken, after which the crustle with the intact shell is declared the winner. The loser, meanwhile, walks away with not only a broken shell but also a broken sense of self-confidence, and it’s important for a trainer to reassure it that it’s beautiful, no matter what its shell looks like. (Of course, if the trainer also had a tub of cement or shell epoxy at the ready, that would be a good idea too.)

Could you talk about any of the ultra beasts

I could talk about all of them, anonymous, but I suppose the most appropriate place to start with the ultra beasts would be with the first one ever documented:

Nihilego
The Parasite Pokémon
Type: Rock/Poison
Official Registration #: 793
Entry: One of the Ultra Beasts, or strange pokémon that had appeared from another dimension. This jellyfish-like pokémon possesses strange and not well-understood powers, including the ability to teleport, open portals, and influence the human mind. Those who were exposed to this creature’s neurotoxins have reported erratic and often fervent or obsessive behavior, usually culminating in extraordinary feats for the sake of ripping apart the space-time continuum in the name of science and pokémon. Incidentally, the above-mentioned symptoms also describe the effects of hard liquor on the author, which also incidentally is a state that led to the creation of the Time Capsule, so if there are no objections, the author would like to propose an experiment involving himself, a nihilego, and a bottle of whiskey.

I have objections. I have a lot of objections to this plan. —LH