Minior
The Meteor Pokémon
Type: Rock/Flying
Official Registration #: 774
Entry: A small, meteoroid pokémon native to the mountains where cleffa are prevalent. The most commonly sighted form is actually composed of this pokémon surrounded by a rocky shell formed from its own wastes. Minior’s true form is a ball of brightly colored plasma most commonly found in the upper atmosphere. It consumes dust at the edge of Earth’s stratosphere, and when this dust is digested, it colors minior’s plasma and forms its outside shell. When minior grows heavy enough, it falls to Earth, where its shell may break open, either on impact or whenever it’s struck by a wild opponent. The core, meanwhile, is unstable and explodes after a few seconds of exposure unless drawn into the suspension grid of a poké ball. Because of the highly volatile nature of its own body, minior often employ the move Self-Destruct in a desperate attempt to keep itself from predators. Despite the danger its very nature poses, minior is a favored companion to cleffa, who are often seen attempting to catch and ride minior in possibly the most adorable and unfortunate examples of pokémon-to-pokémon domestication in existence. It’s considered to be highly cute because of cleffa’s adorable nature and the light minior produce, but it’s considered to be highly unfortunate because cleffa don’t normally possess defenses against a close-range Self-Destruct.
Tag: Rock
Rockruff and Lycanroc
Rockruff
The Puppy Pokémon
Type: Rock
Official Registration #: 744
Entry: Thought to be the cousin of growlithe, this small, puppy-like pokémon possesses very much the same disposition. It is highly loyal, and it’s very fond of humans. As such, it’s considered one of the easier pokémon for beginning trainers to start off with, as its loyal and agreeable disposition make it easy to teach rockruff new tricks. For this reason, rockruff is also generally considered to be a Good Dog.
Lycanroc (Midday Form)
The Wolf Pokémon
Type: Rock
Official Registration #: 745
Entry: The evolved form of rockruff, by battle experience, if trained during the day. Exposing rockruff to sunlight during its evolution causes it to evolve into a quadrupedal form of lycanroc. This form retains a lot of the same loyalty and agreeable disposition as its preevolved form, and as such, this pokémon is considered to be a stalwart battler and excellent companion. However, be warned: while it normally uses the sharp rocks around its collar as weapons, some retain the tendency to rub these rocks against their trainers as a form of affection. Considering the fact that these rocks can grow to be a foot long and roughly as sharp as knives, this may result in unfortunate mishaps. Nonetheless, this form of lycanroc is still generally considered to be a Good Dog.
Lycanroc (Midnight Form)
The Wolf Pokémon
Type: Rock
Official Registration #: 745
Entry: The evolved form of rockruff, by battle experience, if trained during the night. Allowing rockruff to evolve under the cover of night causes it to assume a more violent, impulsive form. While this form of lycanroc loses its rocky collar, it gains a hard head, which it uses to smash its opponents into submission after it goads them into attacking. Well aware of its boots in power, midnight lycanroc actively seeks opponents and will attack without being ordered to, rendering this form of lycanroc highly difficult to tame and train. However, despite the comparative difficulties of training this form (as opposed to rockruff or midday lycanroc), midnight lycanroc is not considered to be a Bad Dog but rather a Not Quite Great But Still Pretty All Right Dog.
Nosepass and Probopass
Nosepass
The Compass Pokémon
Type: Rock
Official Registration #: 299
Entry: This statue-like pokémon possesses a highly magnetic nose that causes it to point towards the planet’s northern magnetic pole at all times … except when in close proximity to another nosepass. If placed in the vicinity of another nosepass, both subjects’ noses will force them to turn away from each other, meaning it’s entirely impossible for two nosepass to be face to face or to stand right next to one another. As expected, this can be rather awkward for several reasons, the most obvious of which would be breeding.
Probopass
The Compass Pokémon
Type: Rock/Steel
Official Registration #: 476
Entry: The evolved form of nosepass, by battle experience, if trained in areas rich with the mineral magnetite. This statue-like pokémon’s entire body is highly magnetic and modular. The bulbous projections on its sides are actually miniature statues known as “mini-noses,” which are capable of detaching and flying about for surveillance and incorporation into probopass’s various attacks. More impressively, the black substance beneath its nose is actually a bush of iron filings that form a “mustache.” This particular feature does not actually have a special name or purpose of its own; the author just feels that it’s majestic.
Slugma and Magcargo
Slugma
The Lava Pokémon
Type: Fire
Official Registration #: 218
Entry: The body of this small, slug-like pokémon is made entirely of lava, and as such, it must be constantly moving. If it stops even for a moment, its body will cool and harden to the point where its “flesh” becomes brittle and breaks off easily. Unlike with other pokémon, these separated chunks do not form their own beings and cannot be reintegrated with their mother slugma. Rather, they remain independent pebbles, and the slugma itself simply grows smaller until its entire mass shatters. As one can imagine, slugma is also incapable of falling asleep for long periods of time due to the risk of this exact process happening … which means many trainers who don’t entirely know better face an unfortunate bout of tragedy whenever their slugma are exposed to sleep-inducing moves.
Magcargo
The Lava Pokémon
Type: Fire/Rock
Official Registration #: 219
Entry: The evolved form of slugma, by battle experience. The shell on its back is actually a bubble of its lava-like flesh, solidified on the outside by its slightly cooler temperature compared to the rest of its body. The interior is actually hollow, and as such, it can shatter at the slightest touch. If anyone is curious as to why de-shelled magcargo are not common, it may have something to do with the fact that the average body temperature for this pokémon is over 18000 degrees Fahrenheit, making physical contact rather complicated.
Kalos Legendaries, Part I
Carbink
The Jewel Pokémon
Type: Rock/Fairy
Official Registration #: 703
Entry: A small, imp-like pokémon native to the caves of Kalos. Having slept underground for millions of years, the minerals in its body has been tempered by the pressures and temperatures of the earth itself into precious stones, most notably pure diamond. Interestingly enough, despite supposedly being related to a legendary pokémon, carbink are not considered to be legendaries themselves and are in fact fairly common in their native cave systems, which in turn means their diamonds are not particularly rare. In conclusion, for those of you who are interested in female-identifying people, the old saying “diamonds are a girl’s best friend” is terrible advice, but “chocolate is a girl’s best friend” is usually not. Just a friendly tip.
Diancie
The Jewel Pokémon
Type: Rock/Fairy
Official Registration #: 719
Entry: According to Kalosean myth, this small, princess-like pokémon is the legendary of jewels. As such, it has the power to create diamonds by compressing the carbon in the air around it. Additionally, it is not only said to be the sudden transformation of carbink (through a surge of magical fairy energy), but it is also capable of mega evolving into an even more regal and powerful form. And on that note, the author is sorely tempted to make a reference to magical girls here, but unfortunately, the internet has beaten him to literally every possible one conceivable.
Hoenn Legendaries Part II
Regirock
The Rock Peak Pokémon
Type: Rock
Official Registration #: 377
Entry: One of the three legendary golems said to have been gifted to humans early in Hoenn’s civilization by the legendary Regigigas. Having been sealed away for thousands of years, Regirock was only recently unearthed in the Hoennian desert. Because early Hoennian records fail to describe Regirock in great detail (besides its purpose as the servant of both humanity and Regigigas), there are many mysteries surrounding it, such as why it was sealed away, how its body can be composed of rock from across the globe, how Regirock is capable of thought, and whether or not it is, indeed, the source of such charming sayings as “you’ve got a head full of rocks,” “you’ve got a stone heart,” and a few others that the author can’t repeat for fear of inciting the editor’s wrath.
Regice
The Iceberg Pokémon
Type: Ice
Official Registration #: 378
Entry: One of the three legendary golems said to have been gifted to humans early in Hoenn’s civilization by the legendary Regigigas. Like its sibling golem, Regice was sealed away for thousands of years, has only been unearthed recently, and is the source of quite a few mysteries of its own. Unlike Regirock, many of these mysteries revolve around two questions. First, why is its body made of solid, Antarctic ice when the Arctic Circle is far, far closer? Second, in what way is that practical for a tropical region, even accounting for the fact that Regice is incapable of melting? (Sure, perhaps it would be nice to have a block of ice to cool down a village, but considering the fact that only one was ever made….)
Registeel
The Iron Pokémon
Type: Steel
Official Registration #: 379
Entry: One of the three legendary golems said to have been gifted to humans early in Hoenn’s civilization by the legendary Regigigas. Like its sibling golems, Regsteel was sealed away for thousands of years and has only been unearthed recently. Unlike its sibling golems, besides the mystery of why it was sealed away, we pretty much understand quite a lot about registeel. The idea of a large, hollow body with a metal coat being tempered by underground heat and pressure for thousands of years makes perfect sense to us. Especially, you know, that describes most steel-types anyway.
Relicanth
Relicanth
The Longevity Pokémon
Type: Water/Rock
Official Registration #: 369
Entry: This rare, coelacanth-like pokémon is considered a living fossil. In the 100 million years that it has existed in the deep seas of Hoenn, it has not changed in the slightest. While civilizations, species, and even its own environment itself have changed with the passing of eons, relicanth continued onward through time, surviving just as its ancestors had in the Cretaceous Period. Thus, remember, readers. No matter how harsh the world is around you, do as the relicanth does and remember that it’s relicanth, not relican’tth.
The Larvitar Line
Larvitar
The Rock Skin Pokémon
Type: Rock/Ground
Official Registration #: 246
Entry: A two-foot-tall, dinosaur-like pokémon native to mountainous regions. Although it’s true that larvitar are born underground and eat soil and rocks until they tunnel to the surface, the idea that they eat entire mountains before evolution is entirely false. It just feels as if they do, as larvitar are, on average, almost 160 pounds, and they have a tendency to leap at their unsuspecting trainers when overwhelmed with the need to shower them with affection via a tackling hug.
Pupitar
The Hard Shell Pokémon
Type: Rock/Ground
Official Registration #: 247
Entry: The evolved form of larvitar, by battle experience. During evolution, larvitar encase themselves in a cocoon of rock. This stone shell is as hard and solid as bedrock, so while it fully protects the larvitar inside from any damage, it also constricts its limb movements. However, this doesn’t mean it’s entirely immobile, as pupitar possesses vents all over its body, which allow the highly compressed gases it creates within itself to escape in the form of powerful jets. In fact, these jets can be so powerful that they can propel pupitar wherever it needs to be faster than a number of other pokémon. This is, of course, doubly unfortunate for its trainer, as not only can pupitar launch itself like a rocket in any direction, but it’s also a 335-pound tank of pure destruction … that still enjoys showering its trainers with affection by throwing itself at them.
Tyranitar
The Armor Pokémon
Type: Rock/Dark
Official Registration #: 248
Entry: The evolved form of pupitar, by battle experience. On the positive side, tyranitar do not shower their trainers with affection by throwing themselves at them. On the negative side, tyranitar are highly destructive and aggressive pokémon who possess the ability to flatten miles of forest in seconds and who are constantly on the lookout for new opponents to fight, and tamed tyranitar consider doing both of these things (committing incredible amounts of property damage and fighting literally anything it can find) to be perfectly acceptable methods of showing affection towards their trainers.
The Geodude Line
Geodude
The Rock Pokémon
Type: Rock/Ground
Official Registration #: 74
Entry: A stony pokémon native to mountainous areas, particularly those of the Kanto, Johto, Hoenn, and Sinnoh regions. At rest, geodude look exactly like ordinary boulders, to the point where it’s not uncommon for even the most careful hikers to trip over them. It should be noted that not only will geodude become violently angry if you trip over them or their brethren, but also, geodude are extremely common pokémon to the aforementioned mountainous regions. To any trainers currently journeying through the mountains, the author wishes you godspeed.
Graveler
The Rock Pokémon
Type: Rock/Ground
Official Registration #: 75
Entry: The evolved form of geodude, by battle experience. Wild graveler subsist entirely on rocks. It will consume at least a ton of these on a daily basis, usually while on the move from the peak of its native mountains to the base and back again. Unfortunately, graveler are not particularly careful pokémon, and they, too, have difficulty distinguishing ordinary rocks from the surrounding geodude. On the positive side, graveler are capable of managing geodude populations singlehandedly, so at the very least, geodude overpopulation has never been nor will ever be an issue to the human race.
Golem
The Megaton Pokémon
Type: Rock/Ground
Official Registration #: 76
Entry: The evolved form of graveler, via trading. This boulder-like pokémon’s shell is so hard it can withstand high-powered blasts, including the ones it generates itself. For this reason, it prefers traveling in this manner, propelling itself from mountainside to mountainside through the force generated by Explosion. A golem falling from the sky is not an uncommon occurrence in the harsh environment of the Johtonian mountains, so to any trainers currently journeying through that particular region, the author wishes you godspeed especially.
The Aron Line
Aron
The Iron Armor Pokémon
Type: Steel/Rock
Official Registration #: 304
Entry: A small but hefty tank-like pokémon originally discovered in the cave systems of Hoenn. Although these small but docile pokémon typically live deep underground, they thrive on iron and will thus rise to the surface in search of it if underground deposits run dry. In the process, they quickly become destructive forces of nature, capable of destroying anything within their paths easily until they consume the iron they need. They have been known to devour anything containing iron, including railroad tracks, cars, heavy equipment, sensitive research equipment, and more … yet the editor of this blog still considers them to be “cute” and “not at all dangerous” for some reason.
Lairon
The Iron Armor Pokémon
Type: Steel/Rock
Official Registration #: 305
Entry: The evolved form of aron, by battle experience. Aron, a pokémon that typically lives in herds, will congregate into similar herd structures after evolution. These herds typically congregate near mineral-rich underground springs, where they often engage in vicious battles with one another by slamming into each other’s armor, all in preparation for fights against invading pokémon or humans. Unfortunately, because their spring-side habitats tend to be closer to the surface than their nests as aron, they are known to lay waste to even more human-built structures, including mines, tunnels, or mountainside villages. For whatever reason, the editor of this blog thinks lairon is cute too.
Aggron
The Iron Armor Pokémon
Type: Steel/Rock
Official Registration #: 306
Entry: The evolved form of lairon, by battle experience. Upon evolution, aggron will break away from its former herd and roam vast, mountainous territory by itself. A single aggron will claim an entire mountain as its personal territory, and as such, aggron are known to aggressively repel other aggron—even those from its former herd—with incredible feats of violence. Lone aggron are therefore much easier to capture and train, and in fact, aggron are among the strongest pokémon available in the Hoenn region. Their popularity is only helped by the fact that the Hoennian champion, Steven Stone, includes one among his signature team … which, actually, might explain the editor’s predilection towards them.
What are you implying?! —LH
The Pokédex According to Bill 