I recently received an Alolan Muk as a present from an old friend of mine… but I live in Sinnoh. How can I help her adjust to the colder climate?

Ah, your friend chose well. While it’s true that Alolan muk must be acclimated to cold temperatures (due to the fact that their bodies are primarily composed of actual liquid), they’re among the easiest pokémon to introduce to cold weather.

To do this, begin by keeping your muk indoors. If you live anywhere else but Snowpoint and if it isn’t winter, you can actually allow your muk to spend time outside for any length of time she can tolerate. Try to encourage her to increase the amount of time she spends outside little by little until she adjusts. If it is winter or if you do live in Snowpoint, however, the acclimation process should start by allowing her to wander about your home for any length of time she can tolerate, then withdrawing her into her poké ball to rest. Once she adjusts to your home, then she can move outside. Always watch for signs of freezing, however, such as spots on her body that seem a little stiff or the formation of frost. If you see any sign that she’s freezing over, immediately bring her inside and allow her to thaw by a heater or beneath a set of blankets.

Best of luck, anonymous!

Hippopotas and Hippowdon

Hippopotas
The Hippo Pokémon
Type: Ground
Official Registration #: 449
Entry: A small, hippopotamus-like pokémon native to deserts and mountains. Although it looks docile, it is actually a fiercely defensive pokémon in the wild. It often forms herds of ten or more, and each member of these herds is apt to defend their herd with a vicious Bite or Sand Tomb. Unlike its mammalian counterpart, hippopotas dwells exclusively in dry, arid areas, as it doesn’t like being wet. This—in combination with the actual, non-pokémon hippopotamus’s predilection for wet, swampy areas and their penchant for forming herds that they protect by charging and biting invading territories—means very little territory on the planet is safe from the dangers of a hippo.

Hippowdon
The Heavyweight Pokémon
Type: Ground
Official Registration #: 450
Entry: The evolved form of hippopotas, by battle experience. It’s extremely important to b cautious whenever dealing with this pokémon. Hippowdon may look bulky and slow, but make no mistake. It can charge a target at speeds of up to twenty miles an hour, it routinely conceals itself by half-burying its body in the earth, it weighs over 660 pounds, and wild members of this species do not take kindly to most interactions with humans. This makes traversing its native mountains and deserts rather awkward for travelers, as it is prone to emerging and charging at humans on sight for seemingly no reason at all (besides simply existing), even if those humans happen to be studying entirely different pokémon a football field’s length away.

Chingling and Chimecho

Chingling
The Bell Pokémon
Type: Psychic
Official Registration #: 433
Entry: Inside this jingle bell pokémon’s mouth is a metallic, uvula-like organ that creates a ringing sound whenever chingling moves or intentionally agitates it during battle. The sound it makes sounds adorable and festive, and consequently, humans have adopted it as an iconic feature of their holiday season. Putting it another way, chingling cries are often just as much associated with Christmas as gingerbread cookies and peppermint canes. Unfortunately, what many humans fail to realize is that these cries are actually meant to drive threats away, as they’re often accompanied by high-frequency notes that they are virtually incapable of hearing … but that their pokémon partners can. Long story short, the author strongly advises adopting live chingling and agitating them into emitting their adorable, bell-like cries for an “authentic experience,” as there are at least thirty-nine cases of people doing this a year, all of which end in tragedy and tears. The author is looking at you in particular, people of Unova.

Chimecho
The Wind Chime Pokémon
Type: Psychic
Official Registration #: 358
Entry: The evolved form of chingling, at night and as a result of a heightened level of happiness. This adorable, wind chime-like pokémon seeks out strong branches or eaves to hang from in high winds. It communicates using only seven different tones in various patterns, almost all of which are pleasant to hear. However, there is a certain pattern that produces ultrasonic waves that will knock even a full-grown man flying, and long story short, chimecho do not take song requests, so it’s wise to not even try.

Nosepass and Probopass

Nosepass
The Compass Pokémon
Type: Rock
Official Registration #: 299
Entry: This statue-like pokémon possesses a highly magnetic nose that causes it to point towards the planet’s northern magnetic pole at all times … except when in close proximity to another nosepass. If placed in the vicinity of another nosepass, both subjects’ noses will force them to turn away from each other, meaning it’s entirely impossible for two nosepass to be face to face or to stand right next to one another. As expected, this can be rather awkward for several reasons, the most obvious of which would be breeding.

Probopass
The Compass Pokémon
Type: Rock/Steel
Official Registration #: 476
Entry: The evolved form of nosepass, by battle experience, if trained in areas rich with the mineral magnetite. This statue-like pokémon’s entire body is highly magnetic and modular. The bulbous projections on its sides are actually miniature statues known as “mini-noses,” which are capable of detaching and flying about for surveillance and incorporation into probopass’s various attacks. More impressively, the black substance beneath its nose is actually a bush of iron filings that form a “mustache.” This particular feature does not actually have a special name or purpose of its own; the author just feels that it’s majestic.

Gligar and Gliscor

Gligar
The Fly Scorpion Pokémon
Type: Ground/Flying
Official Registration #: 207
Entry: Those traveling through mountainous East Johto should beware. In this half of the region, where gligar are native and abundant, gligar are known to hunt by leaping at prey, latching onto their faces, and stabbing them with their highly venomous stingers—a method that kills either through poisoning or suffocation, depending on how hard the gligar is clinging to its prey. However, in addition to this, visitors to East Johto should also be aware that this part of the region is the home of Gligarman, a franchise which also suffocates and jams itself into readers’ lives through the power of sheer merchandising.

Gliscor
The Fang Scorpion Pokémon
Type: Ground/Flying
Official Registration #: 472
Entry: The evolved form of gligar, by battle experience if holding a razor fang at night. Gliscor is an infamous sanguivore—it thrives by feeding on the blood over others. When it spots potential prey, it swoops down, snatches up its victim, and carries it off to its castle-like cavern homes, where it will bite down on its prey using its elongated fangs to draw out its blood. The whole act is considered to be one of the most elegant hunting methods in the pokémon world, with gliscor’s hypnotic, fluid-like movements. These movements are so elegant and hypnotic to some people that there are novels and folklore based on human-like gliscor, some of which add certain, bizzare abilities to the pokémon’s arsenal—such as the ability to sparkle in the sunlight.

Yanma and Yanmega

Yanma
The Clear Wing Pokémon
Type: Bug/Flying
Official Registration #: 193
Entry: A large, dragonfly-like pokémon first discovered in the Johto region. Yanma is notorious for its flying abilities. Not only is it capable of seeing a full 360 degrees around itself (allowing it to analyze all potential flight paths and navigate around obstacles all at once), but its unique wing design also allows it to fly at high speeds, maneuver around sharp turns, and stop and hover in mid air. The first and last of those abilities—that is, the impressive flying speed, in combination with its ability to stop at a moment’s notice—are unique in the pokémon world and give yanma an edge when chasing down prey, fleeing from predators, and stopping to turn and fire a Sonic Boom at researchers attempting to approach it from behind.

Yanmega
The Ogre Damer Pokémon
Type: Bug/Flying
Official Registration #: 469
Entry: The evolved form of yanma, by battle experience, if the subject knows Ancient Power. Every part of this gargantuan insect pokémon is powerful. Its mandibles are capable of snapping through femurs, its wings can generate gusts of wind potent enough to uproot trees, and its six spindly legs are strong enough to pick up and carry an adult man. Incidentally, should anyone wonder where the author was for a week shortly after his first visit to Unova’s Pinwheel Forest—one of the few places wild yanmega can be found—the answer is “the hospital,” and quite obviously, this is an entirely irrelevant note that has absolutely nothing to do whatsoever with any of these facts about yanmega or the above entry concerning yanma.

Aipom and Ambipom

Aipom
The Long Tail Pokémon
Type: Normal
Official Registration #: 190
Entry: A small, monkey-like pokémon first discovered in the Johto region. This mischievous pokémon lives primarily in the uppermost branches of the trees in its native forests. It’s a deft acrobat, capable of swinging itself from tree to tree without ever coming down, even at a young age. This skill is helped in part by the tip of its prehensile tail, which possesses a strong and highly dextrous hand. Of course, actually having hands would be a little more useful, but considering the fact that aipom has managed to survive this long without them, who is the author to say what would work best for this species?

Ambipom
The Long Tail Pokémon
Type: Normal
Official Registration #: 424
Entry: The evolved form of aipom, by battle experience, if the subject knows Double Hit. Just like its preevolved form, ambipom thrives primarily in the treetops. There, not only is its locomotion aided by its twin tails, but so is every other aspect of its life, from picking and shucking fruit to communicating with fellow ambipom. By this stage of life, it rarely does anything at all with its hands … which is understandable, considering the fact that it still doesn’t have any, Sinnoh.

Sinnoh Legendaries, Part VII

Giratina
The Renegade Pokémon
Type: Ghost/Dragon
Official Registration #: 487
Entry: A strange and mysterious legendary dragon whose power rivals that of Dialga and Palkia. It is said that Giratina was banished from this world eons ago for its violence, and now, it rules over a dimension on the reverse side of ours known as the Distortion World. Naturally, one might ask what violent act it may have committed to get itself banished completely from reality. The simple answer was that it was created to embody the nothingness and antimatter opposite to the creations of Dialga and Palkia, and thus, there must have been a war between Giratina and the two deities of space and time. But more than likely, knowing Sinnoh legends and given the fact that Giratina is known as the Renegade Pokémon, it’s probable that it was simply the loser of an epic rap battle among the ancient deities.

Bill, no. —LH

Sinnoh Legendaries, Part VI

Dialga
The Temporal Pokémon
Type: Steel/Dragon
Official Registration #: 483
Entry: One of the highest deities of Sinnohan lore, Dialga was created by Arceus to serve as the master of time. It is said that time began to flow the moment it was born and has continued to flow with every one of its heartbeats. Likewise, because of how integral time is to Dialga, it has the power to control its flow as well as travel backwards and forwards through it, and thus, its title of “master of time” is both literal and metaphorical. As such, you could even say it’s a time lord, except the editor of this blog has requested that the author does not refer to it as that because “honestly, Bill, there are about thirty reasons why you shouldn’t refer to one of the gods of the fabric of space and time with an already outdated pop culture joke, and you have a high enough IQ to figure out why.”

Palkia
The Spatial Pokémon
Type: Water/Dragon
Official Registration #: 484
Entry: One of the highest deities of Sinnohan lore, Palkia was created by Arceus to serve as the master of space. Supposedly, it has the ability to distort space and control the stabilization of dimensions, and with every breath it takes, space becomes more stable. It is also said that as the lord of all space, it’s a rather funny coincidence that its pink, thick-necked, large-shouldered appearance makes it resemble a certain body part shared by some people who think they have the capacity to control all space, but the editor has also requested that the author do not refer to one of the deities of the space-time continuum as a pokémon that resembles such an object. Even though many other people of Sinnohan origin or otherwise think it looks rather phallic too.

Sinnoh Legendaries, Part V

Regigigas
The Colossal Pokémon
Type: Normal
Official Registration #: 486
Entry: According to legend, Regigigas was the master and creator of the legendaries Regice, Regirock, and Registeel. It created these golems out of mountains of ice, rocks and clay, and magma, respectively, then—using their help and sturdy rope—towed entire continents across the surface of the planet to their present-day locations. If this sounds at all incredible to you, just keep in mind that Regigigas’s special, passive ability forces it to start slowly and gradually work its way towards being productive … much like how many of us are not at all morning people.