Croagunk and Toxicroak

Croagunk
The Toxic Mouth Pokémon
Type: Poison/Fighting
Official Registration #: 453
Entry: This frog-like pokémon may be recognizable to sports fans, as it’s highly popular as a mascot for various teams. Of course, this is perfect, as the author can think of no pokémon more appropriate to serve as a representation for good sportsmanship than one known for fighting dirty and stabbing opponents with its strong, poison-tipped fingers whenever they least expect it.

Toxicroak
The Toxic Mouth Pokémon
Type: Poison/Fighting
Official Registration #: 454
Entry: The evolved form of croagunk, by battle experience. Many parts of toxicroak’s body are actually highly dangerous and are either containers for or coated with an extremely potent venom. Its claws, for example, are tipped with a venom that can kill an adult human being with the lightest scratch, its skin can induce paralysis seconds after contact, and its mouth—for which its species was named—is capable of spewing toxic gas and sludge. In fact, toxicroak’s distinctive croaking is actually part of its battle tactics by serving it two advantages. First, the act of croaking vibrates the poison sac on its throat and shakes the venom inside to increase its potency. Second, as noted earlier, toxicroak’s croak is highly distinctive and recognizable, so the croak itself brings toxicroak’s attention onto individuals who may be ideal choices of prey … by chasing away anything intelligent enough to fight back.

Buizel and Floatzel

Buizel
The Sea Weasel Pokémon
Type: Water
Official Registration #: 418
Entry: This small, weasel-like pokémon uses the flotation sac around its neck to stay afloat, even in the swiftest of currents. In order to swim against these currents, it twirls its double tails around, which drives its body forward like the propeller of a motor boat. Incidentally, the author is told that this sort of behavior may be reminiscent of a certain fictional mammal that uses its double tails to fly—which, in the author’s humble opinion, is thoroughly ridiculous. Who ever heard of a creature flying by twirling its tails about? That defies at least one law of aerodynamics! At least buizel’s tail propeller is founded in science.

Floatzel
The Sea Weasel Pokémon
Type: Water
Official Registration #: 419
Entry: The evolved form of buizel, by battle experience. Floatzel are known for the floatation sacs around their necks, as well as their habit of swimming close to sea ports. These sacs, originally developed to aid in floatzel’s hunting abilities, enable this weasel-like pokémon to glide at high speeds along the surface of the water, as well as stay afloat, regardless of how much weight it carries. Hence why it makes its home around marinas, actually: the sac allows floatzel to carry off prey and rescue people that have fallen into the water. Of course, it should be worth it to note that it will occasionally do the reverse and carry off people and “rescue” prey, particularly throughout trout fishing season in its native Sinnoh.

The Snover Line

Snover
The Frost Tree Pokémon
Type: Grass/Ice
Official Registration #: 459
Entry: Although this short pokémon strongly resembles a snow-covered tree throughout the year, it is actually highly responsive to the seasons. For one, it migrates: in the warmer months, it migrates to the top of its mountainous habitat to live in the colder climes, whereas during the colder months, it migrates to the food-rich foothills to breed. Likewise, during the spring, just before it makes its journey up the mountain, it sprouts berries the texture of frozen treats all over its belly and chest. … The author highly suggests that you do not put too much thought into the second trait.

Abomasnow
The Frost Tree Pokémon
Type: Grass/Ice
Official Registration #: 460
Entry: The evolved form of snover, by battle experience. These giant snow monsters are known for their reclusiveness and protectiveness towards their own kind. To protect themselves and their newborn snover, they whip up giant blizzards to conceal their location. In that way, their snover may get up and migrate up their mountainous territory in peace. Travelers who wander through these abomasnow-induced blizzards may stumble across what appear to be moving parts of forests. On the negative side, this greatly increases those travelers’ chances of getting horribly lost within the dizzying, bitter-cold storm. ~~On the positive side, such a sight is incredible to behold if the traveler is on the right combination of psychoactive substa~~

Actually, never mind.

The Roselia Line

Budew
The Bud Pokémon
Type: Grass/Poison
Official Registration #: 406
Entry: This small, bud-like pokémon is often seen sitting by sources of clean water, waiting for sunny days. When it feels the sun on its leaves, it opens its flower to release pollen to gently scatter about its body. Of course, as readers may expect having read this blog for this long, by “pollen,” the author means “Stun Spore and possibly Worry Seed,” and by “to gently scatter about its body,” he means “to stun and subsequently maim any human who thought he would be perfectly fine if he just got another foot closer so that he may study them for the sake of science.”

Roselia
The Thorn Pokémon
Type: Grass/Poison
Official Registration #: 315
Entry: The evolved form of budew, as a result of a heightened sense of happiness and exposure to sunlight. Roselia’s vibrantly colored, rose-shaped hands release a splendid aroma capable of soothing even the most stressed human. However, these hands also conceal sharp thorns in place of stamens, anthers, or digits. These thorns are hollow and contain two different types of venom, both of which are capable of rendering the healthiest human unconscious in a matter of seconds. Likewise, its crown of thorns contains a third poison capable of doing the same, and roselia as a whole use this collection of thorns, in combination with their alluring scent, to hunt. Thus, if someone tells you to “stop and smell the roses,” it is best to assume that they hate you and wish for you to be stabbed in the face repeatedly.

Roserade
The Bouquet Pokémon
Type: Grass/Poison
Official Registration #: 407
Entry: The evolved form of roselia, by exposure to shiny stone. Elegant and nimble, roserade is prized for its disarming talents. Beyond the alluring scent it has inherited from its preevolved form, roserade is capable of dancing across battlefields and striking with incredible speed and precision using poisonous, binding whips. However, seeing as roserade cannot actually learn Vine Whip and seeing as Poison Whip is not a valid move as far as any league is concerned, this information is basically useless to trainers.

The Mantine Line

Mantyke
The Kite Pokémon
Type: Water/Flying
Official Registration #: 458
Entry: A sizable, manta ray-like pokémon native to the cooler seas of southern Sinnoh. Mantyke are often seen swimming within schools of remoraid. It’s not because mantyke eat them, of course. Rather, it seems that mantyke form symbiotic partnerships with the remoraid. Remoraid parasites that may latch onto mantyke’s fins, so the mantyke benefit from the relationship by having pokémon clean its fins as it swims. The remoraid, meanwhile, benefit from the relationship by seeing much of the world thanks to the mantyke. This is possible because cleaning the mantyke enables it to evolve, which in turn means the remoraid can cling to a much stronger and faster pokémon that can ferry them longer distances across the ocean. That and mantyke’s evolution, mantine, are known for breaching the ocean’s surface and flying up to 300 feet in the air, so the remoraid clinging to it can, quite literally, see much of the world before plummeting back to the ocean’s surface.

Mantine
The Kite Pokémon
Type: Water/Flying
Official Registration #: 226
Entry: The evolved form of mantyke, by battle experience, if the subject is in close proximity to remoraid. This elegant pokémon is known for its maneuverability. Not only can it glide through the water at top speeds, but it’s also capable of breaching the surface and leaping up to 300 feet in the air before diving back into the ocean depths. Scientists are not entirely sure why mantine breach; theories include for communication, for mating, or simply for fun. What is known is that it’s rather alarming to all parties observing a breaching mantine … including the remoraid that normally cling to the undersides of mantine’s fins (until it reaches a height of about 100 feet, of course).

Hello Bill, can you please do an entry on Finneon and Lumineon? They’re my favorite forgotten Pokemon, and I love them even though most people don’t even know that they exist.

Well, I certainly can’t turn down a request like this, especially when I agree it’s unfortunate that finneon and lumineon seem to be overshadowed in the fish pokémon enthusiast communities by the likes of goldeen, feebas, and magikarp.

….

And yes, there are, in fact, fish pokémon enthusiast communities.

Finneon
The Wing Fish Pokémon
Type: Water
Official Registration #: 456
Entry: A small, neon tetra-like pokémon first discovered in the waters of Sinnoh. The pink designs along the sides of its body and within its fins contain specialized cells that can store sunlight and release it at certain intervals (usually whenever the subject is attempting to attract prey or a mate). Additionally, as it swims, finneon fan out its double tail fins, and this, combined with the beauty of the light it emits, have earned it the nickname “beautifly of the sea.” This, of course, means finneon is the second fish-like pokémon whose name calls to mind another creature, but unlike in lanturn’s case, the pokémon involved in the comparison couldn’t care less, largely because finneon’s attempts at flight generally leave actual beautifly rather unimpressed.

Lumineon
The Neon Pokémon
Type: Water
Official Registration #: 457
Entry: The evolved form of finneon, by battle experience. Using its pectoral fins, this butterflyfish-like pokémon crawls across the ocean floor to avoid predators. As it crawls, it lights up patterns on its large, billowing tail fins to attract prey. In this manner, it competes with lanturn, who uses similar mechanisms to hunt, dwells in the same general habitat, and is also in a pokémon family frequently compared to a completely different creature. However, given the fact that lanturn can emit powerful electrical attacks and the fact that lumineon boasts no resistance to said electrical attacks whatsoever, lanturn are generally about as impressed with lumineon as beautifly are with finneon. Which is to say, not at all, regardless of how much the poor things try.

Buneary and Lopunny

Buneary
The Rabbit Pokémon
Type: Normal
Official Registration #: 427
Entry: A foot-tall, rabbit-like pokémon native to temperate forests. It’s easy to determine the mood of a buneary by its body language, particularly regarding its ears. If its ears are relaxed and extended (particularly if this is coupled with a “flop,” or an act in which the buneary dramatically flips onto its side), then the buneary feels safe, loved, and relaxed, and it’s fine to engage with it. If, however, the buneary is tense, drawing its entire body up into a ball, and curling its ears, then it feels threatened, and a human should approach with caution. Certainly, it may seem odd that the author would advise caution when approaching anything so small and adorable, but it’s worth it to note that buneary are capable of extending their ears in lightning-fast punches capable of shattering boulders … and that the human nose and jaw are far, far less resilient than a boulder.

Lopunny
The Rabbit Pokémon
Type: Normal
Official Registration #: 428
Entry: The evolved form of buneary, as a result of a heightened sense of happiness. This tall, slender rabbit pokémon has delicate, sensitive ears and long, powerful legs. If one touches their ears, lopunny will lash out with strong kicks. Additionally, these pokémon are cautious to the extreme, and they will often hide behind their long, elegant ears when they sense danger. Between the length of their legs and the sensuous poses they need to strike in order to hide themselves behind their ears, the author would like to take this particular moment to remind his readers that lopunny are rabbit-like pokémon and that if this doesn’t change the thought processes of those of you who know who they are, the author would prefer it if you didn’t tell him.

The Magby Line

Magby
The Live Coal Pokémon
Type: Fire
Official Registration #: 240
Entry: This baby pokémon has magma-like blood that circulates throughout its body. Because of the heat generated by this blood, the average magby’s body temperature can reach temperatures in excess of 1100 degrees Fahrenheit. Additionally, the fires it spits out are directly related to its body temperature and are therefore a clear indicator of both its health and moods. A depressed and/or sick magby is only capable of exhaling small puffs of black smoke, but a healthy and/or excited magby can spit out balls of flames or even full-on Flamethrowers. Thus, perhaps one could say magby is hot-blooded.

Puns? Seriously? Why would you do that? —LH

Magmar
The Spitfire Pokémon
Type: Fire
Official Registration #: 126
Entry: The evolved form of magby, by battle experience. Native to volcanic environments, magmar’s entire body is built to withstand—and exude—great amounts of heat. Its own body temperature is over 2200 degrees Fahrenheit, and its skin contains hundreds of vents through which both heat and fire can escape. Consequently, the air around it is constantly shimmering and wavering, which distorts an onlooker’s view of this pokémon and makes it difficult for researchers to get a clear image of it. This is unfortunate, largely because researchers aren’t quite sure what, precisely, magmar is meant to resemble. Is it a bird-like pokémon? An iguana-like one? Something that strongly resembles a figure from ancient Johtonian mythology? We just don’t know, but it’s been a popular debate among the scientific community for decades. You could say It’s a hot topic.

Oh my gods. —LH

Magmortar
The Blast Pokémon
Type: Fire
Official Registration #: 467
Entry: The evolved form of magmar, via trading if the subject has had a magmarizer applied to it. As the final stage in an evolution line known for intense body temperatures, magmortar is no different. This dangerous pokémon is native to volcanic craters, where it may be surrounded by volcanic vents and a rugged terrain that can either provide or withstand the incredible heat it needs to survive. Magmortar itself has a body temperature that has not yet been measured by researchers, partly because it has a tendency to melt equipment before recordings can be taken and partly because it shoots fireballs of over 3600 degrees Fahrenheit from the cannons at the ends of both of its arms. Needless to say, this pokémon certainly has a tendency to heat things up in the average researcher’s laboratory.

Bill. —LH

The Elekid Line

Elekid
The Electric Pokémon
Type: Electric
Official Registration #: 239
Entry: This baby, plug-like pokémon generates electricity by spinning its arms around quickly. The faster it spins its arms, the more electricity it generates, and the more electricity it generates, the more likely the area between its prong-shaped horns begins to glow blue. At that point, even the air around elekid may be super-charged with electricity, and given the fact that elekid struggles to store the electricity it generates, approaching this pokémon at this point may be a bad idea. However, the air between its prongs always carries some form of charge capable of shocking any unwary human who sticks their hand between them. Or, at least, that’s according to the pokédex. According to the author, if you’re a human who approaches a pokémon incapable of storing electricity to stick its hands directly between its horns, you have wandered far out of “unwary” territory and straight into “asking for it” territory.

Electabuzz
The Electric Pokémon
Type: Electric
Official Registration #: 125
Entry: The evolved form of elekid, by battle experience. This oni-like pokémon constantly consumes and discharges vast amounts of electricity. In fact, the quantity of energy that passes into and out of electabuzz’s body causes its skin to glow in darkness and the hair of anyone within five feet of it to stand on end. While research is still ongoing into harnessing this electricity for human use, among electabuzz colonies, individual electabuzz use their abilities for communication: when two electabuzz touch, they can pass currents between them in order to convey emotion. Needless to say, electabuzz trainers should be aware that not all electabuzz understand that humans are not odd-looking electabuzz.

Electivire
The Thunderbolt Pokémon
Type: Electric
Official Registration #: 466
Entry: The evolved form of electabuzz, via trading if the subject has had an electirizer applied to it. This beast-like pokémon is capable of unleashing over 20000 volts of electricity from the tips of its tails. Thus, it often pushes these tails into an opponent to deliver a devastating blow … or into their trainers because they’ve eaten nothing but kibble for three months straight.

The Magnemite Line

Magnemite
The Magnet Pokémon
Type: Electric/Steel
Official Registration #: 81
Entry: This small, magnet-like pokémon subsists entirely on electricity, and as such, it thrives best in urban environments, where it moves in groups from one power station to another. Additionally, it moves by using its electromagnetism to repel off the ground, meaning it’s silent as it moves but is very likely to disrupt electronic equipment (such as a computer, a cell phone, or a television set) as it passes. On occasion, it will glide power lines to residential areas for food, so if your electronics glitch shortly before you experience a blackout, it’s advised that you should check your breaker box, as a large congregation of magnemite may have been attracted to your home. Also, it should be noted that magnemite are capable of learning both Thunder Wave and Electroball prior to evolution, so should you find a large congregation of magnemite attached to your breaker box, it is also advised that you consider moving.

Magneton
The Magnet Pokémon
Type: Electric/Steel
Official Registration #: 82
Entry: The evolved form of magnemite, by battle experience. Yes, magneton is technically three magnemite linked together magnetically, combining their abilities to generate more powerful magnetic fields and techniques. Yes, each magnemite is capable of detaching itself and performing complex tasks for its magneton cluster. Yes, this is considered to be a separate pokémon. No, the author cannot explain the Pokémon Symposium’s reasoning either.

Magnezone
The Magnet Area Pokémon
Type: Electric/Steel
Official Registration #: 462
Entry: The evolved form of magneton, by battle experience, if trained in areas rich with the mineral magnetite. There is a popular theory within the scientific community that magnezone is capable of further evolution. However, experiments launched into finding the requirements of such an evolution have so far failed. As for why scientists believe the magnemite line is capable of a third permanent, non-mega evolution, it could be because magnezone’s abilities have been known to be volatile and capable of being boosted further by exposure to powerful magnetic fields. Alternatively, it could be because it evolves from a pokémon consisting of three magnemite stuck together, and even other members of the Symposium have difficulty believing this is an actual, separate pokémon.