Arceus

In honor of the official registration of new legendaries, we at The Pokédex would like to present you with the following special entry. As always, Request … Week … ish … will resume as scheduled tomorrow. Please feel free to continue sending in asks and requests in the meantime. Thank you for reading! —LH

Arceus
The Alpha Pokémon
Type: Normal
Official Registration #: 493
Entry: According to the Sinnohan culture, in the beginning, Arceus sprang from an egg and created the Universe. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.

The Burmy Line

Burmy
The Bagworm Pokémon
Type: Bug
Official Registration #: 412
Entry: A small, larval pokémon native to Sinnohan forests. Burmy’s actual body is small and fragile, so it covers itself with anything within reach to create a cloak capable of softening blows against it as well as camouflaging it in its immediate environment. Additionally, “within reach” does, in fact, mean within reach, so burmy that find themselves in urban environments frequently use trash to cover themselves. It is possibly for this reason that this small, fragile creature known for burying itself in trash has become a symbol for the users of certain social media platforms on the internet.

Wormadam
The Bagworm Pokémon
Type: Bug/Grass or Bug/Ground or Bug/Steel
Official Registration #: 413
Entry: The evolved form of female burmy, by battle experience. Somehow, the process of evolution fuses a newly formed female burmy to her coat, resulting in a wormadam that is permanently covered in leaves, stones, or other conveniently placed debris. Thus, there are indeed wormadam permanently fused to a coat of trash, which some users on the aforementioned social media platform have said makes this pokémon even more relatable.

Mothim
The Moth Pokémon
Type: Bug/Flying
Official Registration #: 414
Entry: The evolved form of male burmy, by battle experience. Upon evolution, male burmy break free from their cloaks and fly on gigantic wings across the region. This act of breaking free then allows mothim the utmost maneuverability, which in turn gives him the ability to steal honey from combee, chase down and mate with any wormadam he comes across, and make his home anywhere without needing to build a nest. It is for all three reasons that some users on the aforementioned social media platforms believe that “mothim’s trash cloak is on the inside.”

The Bonsly Line

Bonsly
The Bonsai Pokémon
Type: Rock
Official Registration #: 438
Entry: A short, artificial tree-like pokémon. Native to more arid climates, bonsly struggle in humid heat and thus expel water through their eyes in order to regulate body moisture levels. This process is often accompanied by cries that are so plaintive and baby-like that some humans have been known to run to a “crying” bonsly and proceed to dote on them. Some bonsly are also known to use this to their advantage for the sake of getting spoiled by humans, such as in the case of one particular research subject that was temporarily in the care of a good friend of the author’s.

Before you continue to make fun of me for falling for one bonsly, Bill, may I remind you that you do this to literally every eevee in your care? —LH

Sudowoodo
The Imitation Pokémon
Type: Rock
Official Registration #: 185
Entry: The evolved form of bonsly, by battle experience, if the subject knows Mimic. A tall, artificial tree-like pokémon. When attacked, sudowoodo will drop everything, stand among the closest trees, and cease moving in an effort to blend in with its surrounding forest. This tactic is surprisingly very effective, despite the facts that a sudowoodo’s skin is very clearly rock, that it possesses a face, and that it will often use this tactic even when closely pursued by its attacker.

The Piplup Line

Piplup
The Penguin Pokémon
Type: Water
Official Registration #: 393
Entry: One of three pokémon traditionally offered to new trainers at the beginning of their journeys in Sinnoh. An intensely proud penguin pokémon native to Sinnoh’s frigid northern climes. Due to its proud nature, it is a difficult pokémon to raise and will frequently disobey its trainers and refuse food, purely because piplup in general believe that they are above being tamed. Thus, it is highly advisable to employ reverse psychology when first training piplup. When piplup refuse to eat, simply pretend to not want to feed it, and it will eventually attempt to take your food, as it will believe doing so would be an act of disobedience. When this tactic begins to fail (due to piplup growing wise to it), it is then that a trainer will need to switch tactics in order to continue giving their piplup the impression that feeding is somehow still disobeying their wishes. The author humbly and quite seriously suggests reverse reverse psychology.

Prinplup
The Penguin Pokémon
Type: Water
Official Registration #: 394
Entry: The evolved form of piplup, by battle experience. In general, a piplup’s attitude does not improve upon evolution. Quite the contrary—each individual prinplup develops the unfortunate opinion that they are the most important being in the world, and thus, they isolate themselves within separate nests dug into the icy cliffs of northern Sinnoh, far from each other and any other pokémon they deem morally and genetically inferior. In other words, prinplup form opinions the exact same way most Kantonian politicians do, and the best prinplup trainers can do is take a page from the average Kantonian citizen by pointing their prinplup in the general direction of an opponent and letting them go at it, so to speak.

Empoleon
The Emperor Pokémon
Type: Water/Steel
Official Registration #: 395
Entry: The evolved form of prinplup, by battle experience. While empoleon are generally more mellow than either of its predecessors, they are, as a whole, still vastly proud of their abilities. It is just that they’re more likely to gather in groups, possibly because they realize that some interaction with one another is necessary for the sake of their own species. However, every empoleon-piplup rookery has one lead empoleon that makes the decisions for the rest of the flock. This empoleon is usually determined by sight: they choose the empoleon with the biggest horns to be their superior … a process that, contrary to popular belief on the internet, is not a euphemism.

The Chimchar Line

Chimchar
The Chimp Pokémon
Type: Fire
Official Registration #: 390
Entry: One of three pokémon traditionally offered to new trainers at the beginning of their journeys in Sinnoh. A small, agile monkey pokémon native to Sinnohan forests. Gases churn within its stomach and fuel the constant fires that sprout from its rear end … and someone wrote this fact in the Sinnohan pokédex and has in no way been embellished or edited by this writer.

Monferno
The Playful Pokémon
Type: Fire
Official Registration #: 391
Entry: The evolved form of chimchar, by battle experience. Using its unparalleled agility and the flames on its tail, a monferno can spring from sheer walls or high ceilings in order to launch vicious, fast-paced attacks. While the Sinnohan pokédex states that its flaming tail is its only weapon, this is not entirely true. Ember does not come from its tail, and given the entry left for its evolutionary predecessor and the fact that a monferno will typically learn this move as a chimchar, it is possibly best not to think too much about where Ember actually comes from.

Infernape
The Flame Pokémon
Type: Fire/Fighting
Official Registration #: 392
Entry: The evolved form of monferno, by battle experience. Using its crown of fire and the fire on its fists and legs, an infernape adds a flame element to its own unique style. The style itself is noteworthy, as for centuries, martial artists in China have attempted to adapt and emulate it for human use. The end result is a wild, aggressive, highly unpredictable form known as drunken monkey style, as it evokes the look of an infernape that had consumed fermented berries to the point where it will fight anything that moves within its line of sight. Interestingly enough, certain European cultures have a similar fighting style, but these were inspired by a drunk infernape of a more metaphorical nature and were therefore developed via perhaps less dignified means.

The Turtwig Line

Turtwig
The Tiny Leaf Pokémon
Type: Grass
Official Registration #: 387
Entry: One of three pokémon traditionally offered to new trainers at the beginning of their journeys in Sinnoh. A small tortoise pokémon native to Sinnohan forests, turtwig is known for its soil-packed shell and its ability to photosynthesize, as well as the misconception that, as a small, shelled reptile, it is in any way related to squirtle or tirtouga. In actuality, turtwig occupy a completely different family from either of these pokémon. One can easily tell the difference by adaptations: whereas squirtle and tirtouga fare perfectly well in water, throwing a turtwig into the ocean produces far grimmer results.

Grotle
The Grove Pokémon
Type: Grass
Official Registration #: 388
Entry: The evolved form of turtwig, by battle experience. All grotle possess the ability to dowse, or to locate sources of pure water based on innate sense alone. Its hardened shell has developed into a smooth, comfortable seat, and using both its dowsing ability and its developed shell, it ferries pokémon that had once been larger than it to these water sources … typically to throw them in as petty revenge for all the times that they had thrown it in when it was a turtwig.

Torterra
The Continent Pokémon
Type: Grass/Ground
Official Registration #: 389
Entry: The evolved form of grotle, by battle experience. After evolution, torterra and their trees continue to grow, and their shells continue to harden. As a result, they grow more lethargic as time goes on, making them slow and large enough for small pokémon to create nests on its back. In ancient times, certain cultures looked to this behavior and concluded that the entire world must actually be on the back of a giant torterra … which is preposterous, as everyone knows that the world is actually supported by four donphan riding on the back of a massive carracosta.

The Ralts Line

As an apology for our delay in both the response to the last question and our entries as a whole, please accept this special, extra entry for the day. Thank you for your patience. —LH

Ralts
The Feeling Pokémon
Type: Psychic/Fairy
Official Registration #: 280
Entry: A childlike pokémon native to the quieter forests of Hoenn. Because of its ability to sense the emotions of others, it typically avoids contact with anything that is not of the ralts line and is, therefore, extremely rare and difficult to find. However, because of its timidity, its soft but cute cry, and its eagerness to please others (in order to neutralize any negativity that surrounds it), it is also a popular pokémon among children and young adults … which very likely does absolutely nothing to alleviate ralts’s aversion to drama and high doses of extreme emotion.

Kirlia
The Emotion Pokémon
Type: Psychic/Fairy
Official Registration #: 281
Entry: The evolved form of ralts, by battle experience. Although kirlia possesses more mastery over its psychic abilities than its predecessor, it is still prone to being highly affected by the emotions of its trainer. For example, trainers who experience incredible emotions of joy or pride may cause their kirlia to dance with happiness. Trainers suffering through negative emotions will find that their kirlia has become lethargic and depressed. And trainers in the vicinity of other humans they find incredibly attractive will cause their kirlia to ███████

Really, Bill? Really? —LH

Gardevoir
The Embrace Pokémon
Type: Psychic/Fairy
Official Registration #: 282
Entry: The evolved form of kirlia, by battle experience. Only the strongest trainers who form the closest, most loving bonds with their kirlia may see their pokémon evolve to their final, natural forms. Thus, a gardevoir is born out of strong feelings of loyalty, so it stands to reason that gardevoir in general are inherently extremely protective of their trainers. This is true; all observable tamed gardevoir have been known to go to extreme lengths to protect their trainers from any potential threat. Unfortunately for most people, “extreme lengths” may include creating a miniature black hole, and “potential threat” may include literally anyone within five feet of their trainers.

Gallade
The Blade Pokémon
Type: Psychic/Fighting
Official Registration #: 475
Entry: The evolved form of male kirlia, by exposure to dawn stone. Although its sibling evolution results from the incredible bonds formed between a kirlia and another being, this does not mean gallade do not experience similarly intense urges to protect their trainers and loved ones. If anything, their ability to sense the emotions of potential foes, combined with the drive to battle inherent in all fighting-types and extreme fondness for using the swords hidden in their forearms, make them even more gung-ho about protecting the people and pokémon they value the most. Therefore, trainers should be extremely wary about teaching their gallade to attack only on command, rather than any time they sense danger. Well-meaning researchers who intend to give gallade to sisters with questionable tastes in men, however, are free to teach their pokémon whatever they wish.

They aren’t, but good try. —LH

Misdreavus and Mismagius

Misdreavus
The Screech Pokémon
Type: Ghost
Official Registration #: 200
Entry: A small banshee pokémon native to the forests of Sinnoh and the mountains of Johto. Mischievous by nature, misdreavus enjoys sneaking up on humans and either playing pranks on them or startling them with their sob-like cries. Misdreavus then feed on the ensuing fear it generates through its necklace-like orbs. In centuries past, misdreavus were common in the Johto region, to the point where locals created elaborate myths concerning women whose heads would come and terrorize their villages as they slept to explain the origin of misdreavus infestations. This may seem a little silly in modern times, but considering this is the same region that believed in giant bellsprout and sentient umbrellas, this is possibly the most mundane pokémon-related folklore its people had come up with.

Mismagius
The Magical Pokémon
Type: Ghost
Official Registration #: 429
Entry: The evolved form of misdreavus, by exposure to dark stone. Mismagius possess hypnotizing cries, which it uses to mesmerize prey. Chanting from just one of these pokémon may induce extremely realistic hallucinations—both terrifying and dreamlike—that can last for hours after the departure of the subject in question. Needless to say, mismagius tends to be a popular alternative to hallucinogens among the more open-minded youth and subcultures of the world … not that the author would know anything first-hand about that, as he most certainly has never engaged in anything mind-altering in college.

Bronzor and Bronzong

Bronzor
The Bronze Pokémon
Type: Steel/Psychic
Official Registration #: 436
Entry: A reflective pokémon created by the ancient Sinnohans. The markings on its back form an intricate pattern, and its entire body had, at one point, been highly reflective. Given both of these, some researchers believe that bronzor served decorative purposes in temples and the homes of the wealthy. However, the fact that it was imbued with telekinetic abilities, combined with its perfectly flat surface and its prevalence more in wealthy homes than in sacred places, seem to suggest that bronzor would have also made a rather nice floating hors d’oeuvres plate instead. (The ancients, it is said, were highly respectful to natural pokémon. Pokémon they’ve created themselves, however … possibly less so.)

Bronzong
The Bronze Bell Pokémon
Type: Steel/Psychic
Official Registration #: 437
Entry: The evolved form of bronzor, by battle experience. Bronzong are sacred bell pokémon whose ringing is said to possess the power to open portals and summon rain from other places. Thus, in ancient times, bronzong was worshipped as a spirit of the harvest, and sacrifices were often made to it as a way of encouraging it to summon rain so that villages may have plentiful harvests. In modern times, these pokémon are typically found buried underneath sites that had once been ancient Sinnoah villages, indicating that perhaps not all of their attempts to bring rain were successful.

Shellos and Gastrodon

Shellos
The Sea Slug Pokémon
Type: Water
Official Registration #: 422
Entry: A colorful gastropod pokémon that live in a wide variety of warm, shallow seas. Shellos colors vary from sea to sea, depending on the composition and temperature of the sea itself, as well as other factors, such as the primary species of local coral. Contrary to popular belief, shellos are not the pokémon that possess the ability to expel their stomachs as a defense mechanism and unique digestive technique. Rather, they are the pokémon that possess brightly-colored stinging cells armed with toxic venom that is capable of paralyzing predators that attempt to grasp its slippery body too roughly … a fact that, conveniently, is conveyed through a warning in the form of shellos’s brilliant coloration.

Gastrodon
The Sea Slug Pokémon
Type: Water/Ground
Official Registration #: 423
Entry: The evolved form of shellos, by battle experience. A large, sea hare pokémon, gastrodon are herbivorous, docile creatures that roam the beds of shallow seas, hunting for seaweed. They are most notable for their defense mechanism: the ability to spray a cloud of purple ooze that is somehow more viscous and difficult to handle than even octillery ink. Studies show that gastrodon once had a rock-hard shell as well, but to be frank, when you evolve the ability to blind unwitting bystanders, such as an admittedly overzealous researcher, in waters you share with tentacruel and sharpedo, a shell would be somewhat excessive.