Slakoth
The Slacker Pokémon
Type: Normal
Official Registration #: 287
Entry: A sloth-like pokémon first discovered in the Hoennian jungles. This pokémon spends most of its day lying listlessly on the jungle floor or draped across tree branches. The hours it does not do this, it spends sleeping or reaching lazily for food. Even those who have observed it (for science, of course) have often reported a sudden, strong urge to do as the slakoth does by lying listlessly about the forest floor. For this reason, it was originally thought that slakoth could be part-psychic, but upon deeper studying, it was discovered that, no, a certain portion of the Pokémon Symposium just wishes they could be as lazy and carefree as slakoth.

Vigoroth
The Wild Monkey Pokémon
Type: Normal
Official Registration #: 288
Entry: The evolved form of slakoth, by battle experience. Researchers aren’t quite sure why vigoroth, the middle evolution of the pokémon embodiments of sloth, is unable to keep still. Some think it has to do with the species’ increase in heart rate, but this still doesn’t explain why the change occurred. Others believe vigoroth’s body naturally produces caffeine, but not only is this not true, but it also doesn’t make sense from a scientific standpoint. Still others believe that when you spend twenty hours of your day dozing and the other four hours actually sleeping, it just stands to reason that you’ll be particularly energetic upon waking up (to the point of being downright irritable and potentially violent if anyone attempts to get you to stay still). The author’s closest colleagues would like to go on record to state they know someone with heavily strange sleep cycles consisting of a day of solid sleep, followed by three days of barely any at all, during which he “works himself into the ground” and “vehemently objects to any attempt to get him to sleep,” so therefore, they consider this to be a valid theory. The author, meanwhile, would also like to go on record to state first of all…

Slaking
The Lazy Pokémon
Type: Normal
Official Registration #: 289
Entry: The evolved form of vigoroth, by battle experience. Supposedly the laziest pokémon in existence, slaking barely moves at all and spends much of its lifetime asleep, much like its preevolved form, slakoth. However, it does move, specifically to shift itself into a new spot whenever food is no longer within reach. While this is pretty lazy, it’s been recently outclassed by Alola’s pyukumuku, which doesn’t move at all, even when its reachable food sources have been depleted, unless physically picked up by a human and thrown back out to sea. When slaking have been studied side-by-side with pyukumuku, it was found that slaking rapidly develop extreme envy towards pyukumuku and would, if they didn’t weigh 288 pounds, adopt very similar behaviors.