Do you have any tips on how to care for a slurpuff? I was just traded one from a friend and I want to be cautious.

Believe it or not, slurpuff are primarily dog-like pokémon. As such, they require many of the same things your average snubbull or furfrou may need: a meat-based diet (or kibble), dog toys, frequent walks, a soft bed, regular tooth-brushing and baths, and so forth.

The difference is in its fur and nose.

First and foremost, you’ll notice that your slurpuff is constantly sticky, even slightly so on good days. This is perfectly normal and a by-product of the unique sweat and curly fur coat of the swirlix line. However, this also means that you’ll need to maintain it regularly by not only brushing out loose hairs and dirt but also, perhaps, by giving it a bath. Baths are not necessary (or recommended) on a daily basis, but it’s always a good idea to give your slurpuff one ever few days—and either way, daily brushing is essential to remove debris. Additionally, an important note: if anything larger than a tennis ball ends up stuck to your slurpuff, try not to pull it out, as this will hurt your pokémon. Rather, carefully clip the object out with a sharp pair of scissors.

Furthermore, be sure to take your slurpuff to a professional groomer—or groom it yourself, if you have the confidence—at least once every few months to keep its coat pared down. Otherwise, your slurpuff’s sticky hair may grow long and inhibit both movement and comfort.

As for its nose, it’s important to keep in mind that slurpuff’s sense of smell is among the strongest in the pokémon kingdom. It’s therefore important to keep a clean house and to remove any sources of bad odors to avoid confusing or irritating your slurpuff. You may also consider lessening your use of perfume or cologne, although some slurpuff actually enjoy those scents. (It may be worth asking your slurpuff.)

Best of luck, anonymous!

I cannot eat certain ingredients due to allergies so I have my slurpuff take a sniff of them so I know I won’t get sick. When they do have ingredients inside that I can’t eat she eats them! This has become an expensive habit, how do I get her to stop?

Well, to be fair, your slurpuff is attempting to remove the dish so you don’t eat it at all. As you likely know, certain food allergies carry a risk of cross-contamination, meaning you may get sick from attempting to salvage the meal and eating around the ingredients. (This is especially true for nut allergies, due to the fact that many nuts have oils that may contaminate otherwise safe food.) So you will likely encounter some expense with handling food you’re allergic to either way, and if your slurpuff eats only the foods you can’t eat, it’s likely it’s operating under that assumption. Of course, it’s true that you’re likely referring to situations in which you’re eating out and can therefore ask a waiter to take back a dish and remake it free of charge; it’s just that it’s worth it to understand the reasoning behind your slurpuff’s habit.

That having been said, you may wish to switch to a growlithe, which, due to their extreme loyalty, will not eat anything unless it has express permission to eat it. Alternatively, considering the fact that you have a medical condition, you could possibly apply for a pokémon trained specifically to sniff for allergens.

If, however, you wish to continue using your slurpuff, it’s important to teach her to heel. When at home, set out a dish of her own food and train her to wait before eating it. Show her a treat as an incentive to wait. If she waits (that is, if she sits perfectly still, not if she goes for your hand instead), give her a treat. If she moves towards your hand or the dish, put the treat away. Eventually, she’ll associate waiting with rewards, so she’ll be easier to train to sniff out allergens. In order to do this, have her heel beside you and let her sniff the dish. If she tries to eat your food, have her stop and heel. If she listens to you, give her a treat and send back the dish that would have made you sick. Teach her to place a paw on your arm or give you some other signal that will let you know that the dish is dangerous without taking it for herself, and make it clear to her that she doesn’t have to get rid of the dish herself.

Also, be consistent with your training. If you allow her to sniff your food as you go grocery shopping or whenever you cook at home, don’t let her “dispose” of the food herself. Train her that it’s okay to send back the food or discard it some other way. If you’re consistent with what you teach her, she’ll be more likely to recall the lessons she’s learned when you take her with you to restaurants.

Swirlix and Slurpuff

Swirlix
The Cotton Candy Pokémon
Type: Fairy
Official Registration #: 684
Entry: A puff-like pokémon of the fairy type. Because it constantly eats sweets, it exudes a sticky, sugary substance that thoroughly coats its cotton-like fur. Thus, it is best to keep your swirlix away from children and ants in the summertime, as a combination of all three things can and will result in tears. Furthermore, do not lick your swirlix … and do not ask the author why this needs to be said.

Slurpuff
The Meringue Pokémon
Type: Fairy
Official Registration #: 685
Entry: The evolved form of swirlix, via trading if the subject has had a whipped dream applied to it. A swirlix’s nose is hundreds of times more sensitive than a human’s and is capable of distinguishing even the faintest of scents. It uses this strong sense of smell to assist bakers in creating the best pastries with the freshest ingredients … and also to embarrass lactose intolerant customers who accidentally eat pastries they failed to realize were made with dairy.