I heard a rumor that steel and rock types can’t swim because they just sink, and when my mawile went near a pond i accidentally panicked and now shes freaked out by water, so first is the rumor true and if it isn’t could you give me some tips to help her get over her new fear?

Contrary to popular belief, it’s not true—many examples of both types can swim. This is especially not true for steel-types, which consist of pokémon that have the flexibility to physically swim or that have abilities that help them repel off the planet’s own gravitational field enough to keep them afloat. (That last one is not actually a pun. I do mean they literally bob in the water and fail to sink solely because their magnetic forces keep them from doing so.)

That having been said, at the risk of putting things bluntly, your mawile has a fear of water because you taught her to have a fear of it. This isn’t me accusing you of wrongdoing; your fear was indeed valid due to how much that rumor has been perpetuated in our way of thinking about steel-types. However, it is important to know because it’s the key to helping her overcome her fear.

What I’m trying to say is you need to teach her that it’s safe. If you can, go back to the same pond. If you can’t, any large body of water will do. Once you get there, get in the water yourself. Swim out a bit and show your mawile that you’re fine. She doesn’t need to get in herself at this point; she just needs to see you work with water so she understands that it won’t necessarily hurt.

Then, start with a bit of exposure therapy. Begin with smaller bodies of water: a bathtub or a very slow, very shallow stream will do. Have your mawile rest in it for as long as she feels comfortable, then take her out, dry her off, and give her a treat. Repeat this until she grows used to the smaller body of water, then move up to the larger. Once you get to sufficiently deep bodies, you may also wish to give her a few swimming lessons. (Some towns have water-type specialists who offer swim lessons for non-water-types, but if this isn’t an option due to finances or the lack of one yourself, just know that swimming for a mawile is very similar to swimming for a human. The only difference is that they need to exert more effort in keeping their upper bodies above water due to their false jaws.)

Either way, work your way up until you can return to the pond and let her swim. Take it easy and maintain a good hold on her until she’s relaxed and capable of either standing at the shallow end or swimming on her own.

It will take some time, yes, but with effort, consistent rewards, and a lot of patience, you’ll be able to teach her that there’s nothing to worry about when it comes to water.

Best of luck!

Onix and Steelix

bills-pokedex:

Onix
The Rock Snake Pokémon
Type: Rock/Ground
Official Registration #: 96
Entry: A giant serpentine pokémon native to the cave systems of Kanto and Johto. As it grows, onix’s stone body hardens until its skin resembles diamond, which protects it as it burrows at high speeds in search of sustenance … all of which is not an extended euphemism, contrary to the opinions of the Sinnohan storage system administrator.

Steelix
The Iron Snake Pokémon
Type: Steel/Ground
Official Registration #: 208
Entry: The evolved form of onix, most easily via trading if the subject has had a metal coat applied to it. As this snake-like pokémon ages, it burrows deeper into the ground, where the pressure of the earth itself and the heat from the planet’s core tempers its steel skin. While tamed steelix may have this coat artificially applied to it before trading, it is possible for steelix to evolve from wild onix. Using this process, steelix initially have a rocky hide but form their coats from the minerals it consumes as it burrows. A sheath begins to form on its face first (as this is the first thing that burrows into the ground) but gradually slides backwards until it coats the entire length of the specimen. Friction compacts and hardens this coat until the aforementioned process of tempering (via pressure from the earth and heat from the planetary core) may occur. And no, this is still not an extended euphemism, Bebe.

Mega Steelix
The Iron Snake Pokémon
Type: Steel/Ground
Official Registration #: 208+
Entry: The advanced form of steelix, via steelixite. As the result of mega evolution, this long, snake-like pokémon gains a considerable amount of power and mass. In fact, during its transformation, it not only grows in length, but its sheath hardens considerably, until excess matter is blown off the base of its head, and the author has decided that he is entirely unable to continue this entry because he can hear his Sinnohan counterpart cackling like a thirteen-year-old from all the way over here.

Diglett and Dugtrio

bills-pokedex:

Diglett
The Mole Pokémon
Type: Ground
Official Registration #: 50
Entry: A subterranean-dwelling pokémon renowned for its mile-long burrows. On an unprofessional note, the scientific community is also well-aware of what the rest of a diglett’s body looks like, and we are frankly intrigued by the fact that trainers prefer refusing to Google this. (Is this a meme? Is that why all of you keep making gifs about diglett?)

Dugtrio
The Mole Pokémon
Type: Ground
Official Registration #: 51
Entry: The evolved form of diglett, by battle experience. Actually just a trio of slightly larger diglett, but somehow, these slightly larger diglett can cause far, far more devastating earthquakes than a single slightly smaller diglett. And this, readers, is why pokémon evolution still baffles the scientific community.

Diglett (Alola form)
The Mole Pokémon
Type: Ground/Steel
Official Registration #: 50
Entry: The Alolan variation of this mole-like pokémon possesses three very stiff, very coarse hairs on the top of its head, each of which are as sturdy and sharp as needles. Which, in combination with diglett’s habit of popping up under the feet of unsuspecting hikers, means that the Alolan counterpart to Diglett’s Tunnel is even more exciting than its Kantonian cousin.

Dugtrio (Alola form)
The Mole Pokémon
Type: Ground/Steel
Official Registration #: 51
Entry: The evolved form of Alolan diglett, by battle experience. Long ago, the native Alolans worshipped this pokémon as the incarnation of a land and fertility goddess. Nowadays, given its long, whip-like hair and penchant for bobbing its head rather violently if given a beat, it’s still worshipped as a sort of deity but not so much among native Alolans as a fertility goddess and more by young metalheads as the perfect pokémon to bring to a Morbid Arceus concert.

And you would know this because…? —LH

How do you think I met Cassius? —Bill

Sandshrew and Sandslash

bills-pokedex:

Sandshrew
The Mouse Pokémon
Type: Ground
Official Registration #: 27
Entry: A pangolin-like pokémon native to dry grasslands and deserts. This pokémon possesses a rough, sandy hide capable of soaking up moisture from the dirt around it as it digs its burrows. Because of the consistency of its hide—along with its unique, sponge-like ability—sandshrew don’t need to drink much water and, in fact, shy away from it in all its forms as much as possible. Except, of course, in Alola, where sandshrew have adapted to become ice and steel types for reasons that surely make sense in a region that hosts plenty of other habitats a sandshrew can congregate in.

Sandslash
The Mouse Pokémon
Type: Ground
Official Registration #: 28
Entry: The evolved form of sandshrew, by battle experience. This pokémon is covered in sharp spikes, which are actually hardened sections of its hide. These spikes serve a largely defensive purpose: when threatened, a sandshrew will curl into a ball, forcing its spikes to stand on end and discourage physical attacks. In rare cases, a sandslash may be able to spin and move while in this position, thus crashing into enemies and obstacles. Such sandslash have also been noted to be faster, slightly bluer, and somehow “cooler” than other members of its species.

Sandshrew (Alola form)
The Mouse Pokémon
Type: Ice/Steel
Official Registration #: 27
Entry: A shrew-like pokémon native to the snowy mountains of Alola’s Ula’ula Island. It’s known primarily for its icy, hard-as-steel carapace … and secondarily for the Alolan tradition of shoving this pokémon across icy fields to see who can send their sandshrew sliding the farthest. Alolans call this sport Extreme Curling; the rest of the world calls it pokémon cruelty.

Sandslash (Alola form)
The Mouse Pokémon
Type: Ice/Steel
Official Registration #: 28
Entry: The evolved form of Alolan sandshrew, by exposure to ice stone. When this blue pokémon curls itself into a ball, its steel spikes point outward, which allow it to destroy anything in its path as it rolls down the icy slopes of its home at high speeds, and the author knows what you’re thinking, but for the last time, sandslash is a pangolin-like pokémon, not an alien hedgehog.

Mawile

bills-pokedex:

Mawile
The Deceiver Pokémon
Type: Steel/Fairy
Official Registration #: 303
Entry: A small, childlike pokémon first discovered in the cave systems of Hoenn. This pokémon is famous for its giant and fantastically strong set of false jaws growing from its head. Trainers should take caution: the front of this pokémon looks adorable, a fact that this pokémon uses to its advantage in order to lure in prey. When prey is close enough, it turns abruptly and chomps down on the unsuspecting victim with its false jaws. As for its strength, mawile is capable of biting through steel beams. Its false jaws, meanwhile, can do much worse.

Mega Mawile
The Deceiver Pokémon
Type: Steel/Fairy
Official Registration #: 303+
Entry: The advanced form of mawile, via mawilite. Should anyone wish to know why mawile grows a second false jaw upon mega evolution, the answer is simple: one is for gripping a victim with a bite force so strong escape becomes impossible, while the other is for viciously tearing said victim apart. Although, really, if you’ve attempted to physically assault a creature whose modus operandi in its base form is to lull a victim into a false sense of security with its cute face and then whip its single set of jaws at them, then at the risk of being thoroughly unprofessional, what it does with two sets of jaws should hardly be a surprise.

The Beldum Line

bills-pokedex:

Beldum
The Iron Ball Pokémon
Type: Steel/Psychic
Official Registration #: 374
Entry: A magnetic pokémon rare in but native to the mountains of Hoenn and Sinnoh. It uses its magnetism to move and communicate with other beldum, both of which are essential to it, as its movepool is limited. More specifically, until evolution, beldum only learn one move naturally: Take Down, a devastating physical move in which it rams itself into its opponent, dealing damage to both itself and its target. As an aside, given the shape of this pokémon and the aforementioned fact, it is worth it to note that “rams itself into its opponent” is also not a euphemism, Bebe, and quite frankly, the author is horrified by the fact that anyone thinks it would be.

Metang
The Iron Claw Pokémon
Type: Steel/Psychic
Official Registration #: 375
Entry: The evolved form of beldum, by battle experience. When two beldum become very close, their magnetism draws them closer together until they fuse at the head to form a larger, faster, and stronger pokémon gifted with a higher sense of enlightenment and intelligence. To answer Bebe’s question, no, this is not a metaphor, nor is this an accurate description of how certain organs the author and people like him would work during any sort of biological function outside of terribly written and highly bizarre slash fanfiction.

Metagross
The Iron Leg Pokémon
Type: Steel/Psychic
Official Registration #: 376
Entry: The evolved form of metagross, by battle experience. Much akin to beldum evolution, metagross form when two metang fuse. The resulting pokémon is not only physically and magically powerful (in that it is capable of launching both devastating physical attacks and devastating psychic attacks) but also highly intelligent. The combined brains of the constituent metang work in unison, allowing the metagross’s brain as a whole to function as a highly efficient supercomputer. …This, of course, is what makes metagross interesting, not the first thing in this entry, yet the author’s Sinnohan colleague is writing the fanfiction anyway.

Mega Metagross
The Iron Leg Pokémon
Type: Steel/Psychic
Official Registration #: 376+
Entry: The advanced form of metagross, via metagrossite. As a result of the power surge from mega evolution, this already fiercely intelligent and extremely powerful pokémon becomes a veritable force of nature on the battlefield. That is to say, mega metagross combines newly sharpened intellect with incredible offensive capabilities to engage in battles so brutal and strategically destructive that opponents—and stadiums—are often rendered utterly out of commission for weeks. Another interesting fact: mega metagross is the signature mega evolution of the champion of Hoenn, Steven Stone. Just … as an unrelated side note that in no way is relevant to the author’s partner.

I can’t tell if you’re trying to dissuade me from having an entirely platonic relationship with Steven because you’re jealous of him or of me. —LH

I don’t see how any part of that could possibly indicate that I’m at all jealous of either of you. —Bill

…okay, maybe I’m a little jealous of you. How did you manage to get invited to coffee with him anyway?! I’ve been talking to him about rare stones and pokémon for years, and we’re barely on a first-name basis! —Bill

A girl has her secrets. 😉 —LH

Riolu and Lucario

bills-pokedex:

Riolu
The Emanation Pokémon
Type: Fighting
Official Registration #: 447
Entry: Riolu have the ability to read the emotions of others as well as communicate its own emotions via aura. Yet it is a fighting-type, the single most likely type to engage in physical combat and thus the most likely type to endure great physical injury. For this reason, the riolu’s empathic abilities may be among the most counterproductive powers among the pokémon kingdom. However, at the very least, it should be a comfort for riolu trainers to know that the state will typically pay for any service a Nurse Joy provides, including mental counseling as a result of being in close proximity to a fighting-type that translates its pain into horrific light patterns.

Lucario
The Aura Pokémon
Type: Fighting/Steel
Official Registration #: 448
Entry: The evolved form of riolu, in response to both levels of sunlight and closeness with its trainer. Well-trained lucario have the abilities to sense the aura of all living things, understand human speech, read the thoughts and emotions of those whose auras they sense, channel aura into projectiles and weapons, execute extraordinary feats of physical prowess, and roll over and play dead for biscuits. This is why lucario are the second most popular pokémon on any given video sharing website, next to the members of the skitty line.

Mega Lucario
The Aura Pokémon
Type: Fighting/Steel
Official Registration #: 448+
Entry: The advanced form of lucario, via lucarionite. Upon mega evolution, lucario’s aura-based powers increase in potency. In proportion to this, this pokémon’s aura-sensing appendages on either side of its head increase in length, separate, and move seemingly at will in ways that many people liken to tentacles. Consequently, with the combination of its tentacle-like, aura-sensing appendages and its bipedal, dog-like form, mega lucario has become popular in many internet-based fan circles … namely because it’s even more amusing when it rolls over and plays dead for biscuits. (Honestly, readers, what were you thinking I was referring to?)

UB Assembly: Stakataka

Stakataka
The Rampart Pokémon
Type: Rock/Steel
Official Registration #: 805
Entry: One of the Ultra Beasts, or strange pokémon that had appeared from another dimension. Although scientists consider it to be the heaviest known rock-type, it’s actually a colonial organism consisting of dozens if not hundreds of individual brick-like creatures stacked one on top of the other. However, the specific configuration they create maximizes their defensive potential, allowing them to withstand the toughest of blows and still stand tall and strong. For this reason, the author is told, it is often paired with gumshoos … although the relevance of any of this to gumshoos is, frankly, lost on the author.

Scyther and Scizor

bills-pokedex:

Scyther
The Mantis Pokémon
Type: Bug/Flying
Official Registration #: 123
Entry: Contrary to popular belief, scyther are not inherently violent and easily enraged pokémon. They are, in actuality, extremely proud pokémon with a full range of emotions, including compassion. It just so happens that they have scythes for hands and the alien morality of an insectoid species, and these tend to get in the way of what human beings would define as “compassion.”

Scizor
The Pincer Pokémon
Type: Bug/Steel
Official Registration #: 212
Entry: The evolved form of scyther, via trading if the subject has had a metal coat applied to it. Upon evolution, scyther’s signature blades metamorphose into scizor’s pincers. One would think that an absence of a cutting edge along with the maturation induced by evolution would render scizor a safer pokémon to handle than its preevolved counterpart, but in actuality, it uses its pincers—now reinforced with a steel-like exoskeleton—to violently hammer anything into the ground, be it an enemy pokémon, a piece of machinery, or an innocently bystanding researcher who in no way provoked said scizor.

Mega Scizor
The Pincer Pokémon
Type: Bug/Steel
Official Registration #: 212+
Entry: The advanced form of scizor, via scizorite. Mega scizor is a subject of interest to scientists due to its fantastic levels of instability in combat. To pokémonologists, the fact that it is virtually incapable of holding a mega evolution for extended periods of time without doing damage to itself points to the idea that it may answer the age-old question of why some pokémon can mega evolve while others cannot. To sociologists, the fact that it is virtually incapable of holding a mega evolution for extended periods of time without doing damage to itself points to the idea that it may answer the age-old question of why some trainers are fantastically terrible people who insist on using mega scizor anyway.

The Aron Line

bills-pokedex:

Aron
The Iron Armor Pokémon
Type: Steel/Rock
Official Registration #: 304
Entry: A small but hefty tank-like pokémon originally discovered in the cave systems of Hoenn. Although these small but docile pokémon typically live deep underground, they thrive on iron and will thus rise to the surface in search of it if underground deposits run dry. In the process, they quickly become destructive forces of nature, capable of destroying anything within their paths easily until they consume the iron they need. They have been known to devour anything containing iron, including railroad tracks, cars, heavy equipment, sensitive research equipment, and more … yet the editor of this blog still considers them to be “cute” and “not at all dangerous” for some reason.

Lairon
The Iron Armor Pokémon
Type: Steel/Rock
Official Registration #: 305
Entry: The evolved form of aron, by battle experience. Aron, a pokémon that typically lives in herds, will congregate into similar herd structures after evolution. These herds typically congregate near mineral-rich underground springs, where they often engage in vicious battles with one another by slamming into each other’s armor, all in preparation for fights against invading pokémon or humans. Unfortunately, because their spring-side habitats tend to be closer to the surface than their nests as aron, they are known to lay waste to even more human-built structures, including mines, tunnels, or mountainside villages. For whatever reason, the editor of this blog thinks lairon is cute too.

Aggron
The Iron Armor Pokémon
Type: Steel/Rock
Official Registration #: 306
Entry: The evolved form of lairon, by battle experience. Upon evolution, aggron will break away from its former herd and roam vast, mountainous territory by itself. A single aggron will claim an entire mountain as its personal territory, and as such, aggron are known to aggressively repel other aggron—even those from its former herd—with incredible feats of violence. Lone aggron are therefore much easier to capture and train, and in fact, aggron are among the strongest pokémon available in the Hoenn region. Their popularity is only helped by the fact that the Hoennian champion, Steven Stone, includes one among his signature team … which, actually, might explain the editor’s predilection towards them.

What are you implying?! —LH

Mega Aggron
The Iron Armor Pokémon
Type: Steel
Official Registration #: 306+
Entry: The advanced form of aggron, via aggronite. Upon mega evolution, aggron loses its affinity for the rock type but gains a considerable boost in defensive and physically offensive capabilities. Some believe that, in conjunction with its own territorial nature and the existence of mega tyranitar, mega aggron is itself proof that there is no higher power in the universe, as clearly, monsters with world-ending abilities and devastating tempers are allowed to exist and be placed in the hands of a species with notoriously questionable levels of judgment. Others believe that this is actually proof that there is a higher power out there and that this higher power is both a pokémon and extremely puzzled that humans have managed to survive for as long as we have.

The editor of this blog, meanwhile, simply believes that a 400-pound armored behemoth with spikes quite literally everywhere and a strong tendency to protect the pristine state of its territory through the most violent means possible is cute.

Edit: Really? Nothing, Lanette? —Bill

Why would I have a comeback? It’s cute, and to be fair, the world could use more sentient tanks to protect the environment. —LH

Sometimes I forget how terrifying you are… —Bill