Shieldon and Bastiodon

Shieldon
The Shield Pokémon
Type: Rock/Steel
Official Registration #: 410
Entry: A two-foot-tall pokémon that strongly resembles the Protoceratops. Like cranidos, shieldon inhabited the jungles of Sinnoh over 100 million years ago. Also like cranidos, shieldon had a habit of assaulting the plant life of the Sinnohan jungles, only rather than headbutt trees, it preferred to rub its face against the rough bark in order to toughen the iron-like hide that covered its face. In short, between the cranidos and shieldon, the jungles of Sinnoh barely stood a chance.

Bastiodon
The Shield Pokémon
Type: Rock/Steel
Official Registration #: 411
Entry: The evolved form of shieldon, by battle experience. After evolution, bastiodon’s facial plates harden to the point where it can resist virtually any frontal attack. This allowed the normally docile bastiodon and its shieldon young to graze in peace. Should anyone wonder why those two statements should be related, one only needs to remember that bastiodon thrived during the exact same era as the “charge forward without any intent whatsoever of changing course for any reason” rampardos.

The Honedge Line

Honedge
The Sword Pokémon
Type: Steel/Ghost
Official Registration #: 679
Entry: Do not come into physical contact with this pokémon unless you would like to spend an evening having a conversation with medical specialists concerning the removal of either your arm or the honedge. But should the reader be curious, the sword strap is actually quite nice. Very soft leather, I think.

Doublade
The Sword Pokémon
Type: Steel/Ghost
Official Registration #: 680
Entry: The evolved form of honedge, by battle experience. Upon evolution, honedge splits into the two telepathically-linked swords that form doublade. On the positive side, at this point, the surge of evolutionary energy will temporarily stun the pokémon long enough for its victim to pull themselves free from its strap. On the negative side, the stunning lasts for roughly four seconds before doublade launches into a vicious double-bladed attack, and as both swords possess separate but perfectly synchronized minds that are capable of formulating a strategy between them, said double-bladed attack is typically extremely difficult for the average hospital staff to stop.

Aegislash
The Royal Sword Pokémon
Type: Steel/Ghost
Official Registration #: 681
Entry: The evolved form of honedge, by exposure to dusk stone. Aegislash possesses two forms: the sword form, in which it uses its bladed body to launch a vicious assault, and the shield form, in which it uses its iron shield to block practically any attack. Rising kings of medieval Europe were frequently given aegislash passed down from their fathers, partially because aegislash were effective guards for the crown and partly because aegislash are inherently attracted to those of royal blood. The latter is notable in that newly evolved aegislash, such as those that were accidentally exposed to a trainer’s dusk stone, will instantly calm and gravitate towards humans they perceive as being worthy of the crown, such as one very confused emergency room receptionist. Unfortunately, as aegislash also possess the innate tendency to protect the humans it claims as its charges, this is rather bad news for anyone it perceives as a threat, such as the completely innocent researcher who brought it there after what was already a very long Friday night.

Scyther and Scizor

Scyther
The Mantis Pokémon
Type: Bug/Flying
Official Registration #: 123
Entry: Contrary to popular belief, scyther are not inherently violent and easily enraged pokémon. They are, in actuality, extremely proud pokémon with a full range of emotions, including compassion. It just so happens that they have scythes for hands and the alien morality of an insectoid species, and these tend to get in the way of what human beings would define as “compassion.”

Scizor
The Pincer Pokémon
Type: Bug/Steel
Official Registration #: 212
Entry: The evolved form of scyther, via trading if the subject has had a metal coat applied to it. Upon evolution, scyther’s signature blades metamorphose into scizor’s pincers. One would think that an absence of a cutting edge along with the maturation induced by evolution would render scizor a safer pokémon to handle than its preevolved counterpart, but in actuality, it uses its pincers—now reinforced with a steel-like exoskeleton—to violently hammer anything into the ground, be it an enemy pokémon, a piece of machinery, or an innocently bystanding researcher who in no way provoked said scizor.

Riolu and Lucario

Riolu
The Emanation Pokémon
Type: Fighting
Official Registration #: 447
Entry: Riolu have the ability to read the emotions of others as well as communicate its own emotions via aura. Yet it is a fighting-type, the single most likely type to engage in physical combat and thus the most likely type to endure great physical injury. For this reason, the riolu’s empathic abilities may be among the most counterproductive powers among the pokémon kingdom. However, at the very least, it should be a comfort for riolu trainers to know that the state will typically pay for any service a Nurse Joy provides, including mental counseling as a result of being in close proximity to a fighting-type that translates its pain into horrific light patterns.

Lucario
The Aura Pokémon
Type: Fighting/Steel
Official Registration #: 448
Entry: The evolved form of riolu, in response to both levels of sunlight and closeness with its trainer. Well-trained lucario have the abilities to sense the aura of all living things, understand human speech, read the thoughts and emotions of those whose auras they sense, channel aura into projectiles and weapons, execute extraordinary feats of physical prowess, and roll over and play dead for biscuits. This is why lucario are the second most popular pokémon on any given video sharing website, next to the members of the skitty line.