Hello bill, I was wondering if you could help me out. I just moved to the Alola region from hoenn and I brought my Kirlia with me. We’ve been doing fairly well so far… until I caught a wild Steene. I’m not sure what the problem is but my kirlia does not get along very well with her. It seems anytime the two are even near each other, she has no hesitation to keep her away from me, even with brute force if needed. I really need to fix this problem before any family visit. Any advice?

As always, start by trying to communicate with your kirlia. Kirlia are very sensitive psychic-types, and they can pick up on things that might be wrong—or transmit how they feel, for that matter. Sit down with your kirlia and ask her what’s on her mind, so to speak.

Only then can you proceed forward to resolve the issue, as it could be any number of things, from a fear of your new steenee to jealousy to even warning you about a potential latent allergy to grass-types you might not be aware of. Each possibility has its own solution, so in short, it’s best to narrow things down before trying anything with your kirlia and steenee.

As a note of reassurance, most possibilities may be resolved with a simple conversation with your kirlia and possibly by gradually introducing her to your steenee. If this is indeed the case, do so slowly and gradually, in a setting both your kirlia and steenee can be comfortable with. As both are human-like pokémon, they’ll be more active when it comes to vocal communication with each other, so be prepared to mediate any arguments or fights.

Best of luck, anonymous!

The Bounsweet Line

Bounsweet
The Fruit Pokémon
Type: Grass
Official Registration #: 761
Entry: The sweetness of this coconut-like pokémon is readily apparent just from its aroma alone. Gifted with a nutty but vaguely citrusy aroma, bounsweet attracts bird- and insect-like pokémon to its nests and allows them to feed off its sugary sweat. This same sweat can also be harvested and consumed by humans, but only after being processed and watered down, as the high sugar content makes the sap nearly inedible raw. Or at least most Alolan natives call this sap “nearly inedible raw.” The author calls this “a challenge.”

Steenee
The Fruit Pokémon
Type: Grass
Official Registration #: 762
Entry: The evolved form of bounsweet, by battle experience. Upon evolution, steenee’s formerly edible sweat becomes virtually inedible to anyone, pokémon or otherwise. This is not because it becomes unappetizingly tasteless and bitter (although, yes, it does that too) and more because the average steenee has a tendency to smash its hard, armor-like shell into anyone who tries to harvest her sap, usually before delivering a hard kick to the offender’s face.

Tsareena
The Fruit Pokémon
Type: Grass
Official Registration #: 763
Entry: The evolved form of steenee, by battle experience, if the subject knows Stomp. A royal pokémon in nature, tsareena can often be seen deep in the jungles of Alola, defending large groups of bounsweet and steenee. Tsareena is a formidable fighter in her own right, capable of delivering powerful kicks to predatory pokémon and anyone else who may be distracted by her enticing scent. However, it is said that touching her crown may render her immobile. Given that final note and the way the internet works, one would assume this entry is going into inappropriate territory, but the truth of the matter is that while it’s true that touching a tsareena’s crown renders her defenseless, the actual period of time she spends in this state is only a few seconds and is often followed up by a kick to the ribs with the force of a sledgehammer.

My tsareena has become a body guard for me when people and Pokémon get too close and doesn’t stand down until I let her know they’re friends. Why is this?

Because neither tsareena nor steenee are found in the wild, I’m going to assume that you caught yours as a bounsweet and raised her from there. If so, then the first thing to note is that the longer you’ve spent with a pokémon, the more it bonds with you. Additionally, for most pokémon, evolution is a rather big deal. For tamed pokémon, it represents the attainment of the highest amount of power they can possibly have, and because many pokémon strengthen their bonds with their human partners by fulfilling their evolutionary requirements (read: by battling), an evolution into a final stage—such as the evolution of a steenee to a tsareena—can sometimes be a symbol of the strongest possible bond between trainer and pokémon. In other words, your tsareena feels an especially strong bond with you, and as such, she wishes to express her loyalty.

The other thing to note is, of course, the fact that tsareena are regal by nature. As such, they take their duties extremely seriously and will fight to defend themselves and anyone under their care. This means that it’s actually perfectly natural for your tsareena to refuse to stand down when confronted by anything she doesn’t think is a friend right away and that it would actually mean something rather negative if she didn’t. That is to say, so long as your tsareena assumes the role of a bodyguard, this behavior means that she highly respects and values you and deems you worthy of protecting. If she chose to ignore you instead or didn’t take her relationship with you as seriously as she does, this would mean she considers you to be beneath her.

In short, this is a perfectly natural occurrence for tamed tsareena, in part because they tend to be with a trainer throughout their evolutionary process (and thus for a rather long time) and in part because it’s in their nature to defend their trainers with honor. I wouldn’t worry about your tsareena’s behavior until it gets in the way of your ability to perform day-to-day activities, such as interacting with people in your daily life (the postman, a barista, people at a grocery store, and so forth). If this happens, it would be prudent to train her to act only when there’s a clear and present threat to your well-being.