Not again Bill!
Edit:
Bill … care to explain how the internet has a shot of this? —LH
Well, there’s a possibility that the footage from one of the cameras I’d set up saved a backup copy to the cloud, and it was somehow leaked to the general public. Clearly, this means I’ll have to have a word with the other administrators. —Bill
…. —LH
…I was recording a test run of the teleporter for science. —Bill
Are you sure your accidents were actually accidents? —LH
Bill, the kajiwoto pets bot code you type for eevee on DisPokécord is pet egg 66Jl
I hope this makes your day. 🙂
Bill: I was having an excellent day before this, but now it’s even better. Thank you!
How do you care for a newly evolved Lycanroc? (Midday).
He just evolved, and I’m not familiar with his body language, or if this or that is normal. What toy’s he would like.. I would really enjoy the help.
Bill: Caring for a lycanroc (either of them) is very similar to caring for any other canine pokémon on the most basic terms. Namely:
For food, always remember that your lycanroc is primarily a carnivore. While he can eat grains, berries, and vegetables (try to limit fruits as much as possible, due to their sugar content), his natural diet would have consisted of small animals, birds, and fish, and thus, you’ll want to emulate that as much as possible. If you can’t, kibble will do just as well, but read the label carefully and buy a reputable brand.
For space, you’ll need plenty of it for a lycanroc. They’re by no means small pokémon, and they thrive when they’re given plenty of space to run about. If your backyard has some rugged landscape, allow your lycanroc to claim that as part of its space, but if you simply have a yard, that will do just as well. As a note, be sure to maintain this space, as your lycanroc will likely use it to relieve himself as well. (While, yes, pokémon dung can be used as fertilizer, not cleaning up after your lycanroc increases your chances of stepping in it or your lycanroc’s chances of trailing it all over your home.)
Your lycanroc should also be given a bed indoors, so he may have some sort of shelter during the rain. You may also wish to housetrain your lycanroc so he understands how to relieve himself on newspapers or at least tolerate rain in emergencies (and, well, not relieve himself indoors, of course). Don’t worry. Housetraining works exactly the same way as any other sort of training. It’s just that you’re simply teaching your lycanroc where to relieve himself, rather than how to use his moves.
On that note, lycanroc should be walked at least once a day, if not trained for at least an hour as a form of exercise. Ideally, he should be made to climb something (a pile of training rocks, for example, or a hill near your home) as a form of aerobic exercise similar to what he would receive in the wild, but if this isn’t an option, simply battling with him once a day should work. You can do so against trainers or against sturdy enough training dummies.
In terms of toys, lycanroc enjoy a wide range of dog toys, and those geared towards houndoom, arcanine, or stoutland work just as well as ones geared towards lycanroc specifically. (Some toy makers will advertise sturdier toys specific to lycanroc, but don’t fall for this! Every toy will likely be annihilated by your lycanroc, and ones for larger canines are just as safe.) Because the selection is so vast, it would honestly be best to experiment with your lycanroc in order to discover his preferences. Try taking him with you to a pokémart and have him pick the toys that interest him the most. Alternatively, there are excellent “box subscription” services for dog pokémon (such as Crunch Crate) that curate treats and toys for dog pokémon. These tend to be excellent for canine trainers who aren’t entirely sure what brands or types to try with their pokémon.
Finally, there is one rather important difference between lycanroc and most other dog pokémon, and that’s the fact that midday lycanroc are pack pokémon. (This is contrary to midnight lycanroc, which is exclusively solitary and should be handled with care when integrating into a team.) That is to say, they are among the most loyal dog pokémon in existence, second to perhaps houndoom, and as such, they thrive when placed in settings with multiple pokémon, preferably other (midday) lycanroc. It could thrive with just the company of its trainer, but the point is, it would be happiest if placed on a team.
As for his body language, yes, it’s normal to have an adjustment period after the evolution of a pokémon. It may take some time for you to familiarize yourself with your lycanroc’s habits, but be sure to note down anything that doesn’t quite seem right to you. Unfortunately, without specifics, I can’t really offer any advice on what anything might mean, but if you notice anything odd, you can always bring it up with your local Nurse Joy to get a definitive answer as to whether or not your lycanroc’s behavior is normal.
Best of luck, anonymous!
Do you think that Hawlucha and Incineroar are natural rivals? Both are wrestling based Pokemon. Hawlucha has a téchnico look to it. In Mexican wrestling the téchnico is like the equivalent to the “face” in American Wrestling (opposite of the Heel). Téchnicos are typically smaller technical wrestlers while the Rudos (Mexican equivalent to “heel” such as Incineroar) are typically brawlers of a bigger stature. So it seems like they would natural want to square off against each other. Though based on the fact one is native to Alola and the other is from Kalos makes me wonder.
BILL: Well, as you’ve noted, @funky-ufo, the two aren’t found in the same habitat. As such, they actually don’t compete for resources, nor have they had any reason to become rivals to one another (unlike pokémon that do host inherent hatred for their counterparts, such as red and blue basculin, seviper and zangoose, or gyarados and anything that moves). So in a way, it would be much like throwing an American and Mexican wrestler in the same arena. While, yes, they’re both wrestlers, they come from different circuits and technically different sports, just as Incineroar and Hawlucha come from different habitats and behave in their own unique ways.
Of course, they have a sort of artificial rivalry, as the idea that these two would be at each other’s throats is actually a very human concept. As such, it’s not at all unusual for humans to stage battles between the two for their own entertainment purposes, and hawlucha fans and incineroar enthusiasts often engage in matches (both on the battlefield and via internet communities) to determine which is the better pokémon. In actuality, when introduced to one another outside of the context of a battle, an incineroar is just as likely to befriend a hawlucha as it is to develop an abject hatred for one, and the same could be said for a hawlucha towards an incineroar. If anything, when not forced to form a rivalry with each other, incineroar and hawlucha tend to enjoy one another’s company because they make for ideal sparring partners between the two, and oftentimes, an incineroar’s “heel” nature is just what a hawlucha needs to fuel its fiery passion for battling. Pun just a little intended.
Hey, Bill, I know this is outside your range of expertise, but do you know exactly how much one Poke is, (compared to the USD or the Japanese Yen)? Or if there isn’t a conversion system, what are some household items and their relative costs?
Bill: Currency is a strange thing in our world, reader. Decades ago, we did away with a lot of forms of it to replace it with a universal currency (the poké) to make things easier for trainers. It’s very much the same case as languages, which we’ve also done away with in favor of a universal alternative due to the high volume of globetrotting trainers. For that reason, the exchange rate is largely irrelevant because neither the yen nor the dollar still exist.
However, if it helps at all, the current cost of a loaf of bread is about P160, and rice or a carton of eggs is usually P200. If you’d like a few non-edible examples, a ticket for one train ride on either the Goldenrod MTB or the Celadon Metro costs about P200 each, assuming you’re not taking an express line. A nice pair of slacks, however, can be upwards of P7000. A cheap internet plan may be P4030, but on the positive side, a cheap, prepaid cellphone is usually only P50.
For the sake of not depressing anyone, I’ll refrain from telling you how much rent in a student housing complex is if you’re not lucky enough to have a scholarship for it.
“I want to thank you for your advice, Bill. My weavile has been training more than she usually does, especially sparring with both her mate and my first mawile, and I’ve noticed a decrease in her bouts with PTSD. She and my daughter have been registered in the Ferrum League battles, and she’s been enjoying her battles, as well as bonding with my daughter. Thank you very much” – Jett
You’re very welcome. It’s certainly great to hear that your weavile is doing much better. May her condition continue to improve, and may her bond with your daughter continue to grow. —Bill
Some people may not know this, but unlike wilds ralts (whom are ‘attracted’ to kind-hearted trainers), ralts that are hatched from eggs from breeders (or worse, rescued from poke-mills) tend to form bonds with trainers that have latent physic abilities. These ralts, and their evolutions, have a stronger connection with their trainers, well beyond what the pokedex entries state.
Bill: It’s true that people with psychic abilities—latent or not—tend to form stronger bonds with psychic-types in general. This is for either of two reasons. First, if the trainer’s abilities are unlocked and overt, then it’s easier for that human to empathize with their pokémon, both emotionally speaking and psychically speaking. That is to say, psychics not only understand their pokémon better, but they can use their own abilities to forge connections with them. Likewise, trainers with unlocked abilities can sometimes use those same powers to strengthen the bond between themselves and their pokémon. Think of it like holding hands with someone, and neither of you want to let go.
Second, if the trainer’s abilities are latent, then the reverse happens, and the psychic-type will latch onto that human—perhaps even attempt to awaken those talents, in certain cases.
Of course, it should be noted that according to some experts, such as Saffron City’s own Sabrina, everyone has latent psychic abilities on one level or another, but to be fair, there is still some debate in the academic circles about whether or not this is true. Studies thus far have been largely inconclusive on the matter.
In short, what you say has more than a few grains of truth to it, dear reader, and ralts are indeed open to forming strong bonds with humans they feel a particularly intense level of empathy towards, especially if the human in question is capable of reciprocating psychically.
Inspired by one of your recent asks where you mention how some pokemon may inherit traits from their parents, I decided to breed one of my female Pikachu with an Eevee and a Meowth (no cruelty involved!) to see what the results would be. The newborn Pichu did not have any dramatic changes, but when I evolved both of them into Pikachu, the changes showed through a lot more. What do you think?
Bill: This is a perfect example of the concept at work. It’s very true that newborn pokémon may not exhibit characteristics at that early of an age, but as you’ve seen with your pikachu, those traits eventually become pronounced as the pokémon grow. Congratulations on both of the new additions to your family.
(I must also compliment you on the pikachu fathered by an eevee. It looks like it has a wondrously luxurious coat!)
((Ahem. So this fanfiction is technically “written” by the character Bebe. Who may or may not…erm…overly exaggerate….or lie about some things…Everything beyond this point, therefore, is “not me”. ~Me being anonabsolxwolf))
~~~~~~
Fanfic: You remind me of the Bebe
From Bebe. To Bill.
With love ❤
Lots and lots of love.
~~~~
The young man struggled with the hem of his maid skirt. It was lacey. So very lacey. Like the kind of cheap lace you get at the store.
Or something.
Anyways. He looked super pretty with his emerald green hair and luxurious brown eyes. Such a pretty maid.
Fantastically nerdy in a knightly sort of way. Because even nerds can be knights too, you know. And I can totally see him riding off into the night on a Rapidash in a full Dragonite suit yelling “Onward my noble steed! TO HYRULE CASTLE!”
He stood in the center of the maid café known as Lighthouse Lingerie. Oh my bad. It’s Lighthouse Lingering. Yes. It’s called that because everyone from Cerulean lingers there. Let’s just say that the gym leader nearby lists the area around it as the most romantic spot in Kanto, and with such statement what else WOULD you do except logically turn your house into a maid café? CHA-CHING.
So there he stood. In the middle of his house/maid café. Just waiting for the first of the customers to arrive. Imagining that, at any moment, a hundred android clones of Lanette will walk through the door all scrambling for the chance to hand him Eevees. Yes, this is what this young man’s sweet dreams are made of. I know because he talks in his sleep.
You might be thinking: Who in their right mind would ever give me the opportunity to hover over them while they slept, like a Haunter about to eat a dream?
What you should be thinking: Who in their right mind thought it would be a good idea to teach me how to pick locks and reprogram security devices? (Never going to answer that, btw)
The bell of the café rang. The young man turned in response and said:
“Okaerinasaimase, goshujinsama! Welcome home, Master!”
There was silence. The young man hesitantly looked up at the newcomer. And then stopped.
The sight was so wonderful and marvelous and fantastic and everything he could ever wanted.
Yes, for the first time in his hermit-y, Furret-faced little life, the one and only Bill McKenzie had fallen hopelessly in lurv. And right in front of him was his prince charming.
All of him fantastic. All of him charming.
And all 130 kg of him was muscle: Machamp.
“Oh dear! I am finally saved from this life of servitude, gym leader loiters, and ungrateful patrons that don’t even leave a tip (which includes a certain gym leader loiter). Catch me in your arms, my love, for I feel a fainting spell come over me!”
And the Machamp caught him. Well, sort of. It was more like the Pokémon flailed his arms around Bill in some sort of an attempt with a confused look on its face and Bill ended up falling on the floor anyways.
Of course, Bill just had to interpret this as “rejection”. He got off the floor with teary eyes to look up at the dashing Pokémon.
“But you’re my muse. My inspiration. How will I ever make programs without you? I declared my undying love for you! Your big strong muscles is just what I need to contrast against my admittedly pathetic physique. You’re the Kirk to my Spock. My Riker to my Picard. Although…”
Bill stepped away from his beautiful sweetheart to take in the full glamour of his form, almost as though he were having second thoughts. This was a Pokémon-human relationship, after all.
Two bodies, both differing physically,
In fair Cerulean, where we lay our scene,
The ultimate of star-crossed lovery.
Bill, ever the romantic (even if not always ever the poetic), let the words roll over in the back of his mind; his eyes fluttering shut as he caressed over the words in his head with the softhearted expression of one who so desperately needed a hero.
Or a hobby.
He turned back to his cherished and continued his statement.
“…..I could also see you being Han Solo and me being Luke Skywalker.”
So close they were to each other on the Millennium Talonflame. Yet their hearts couldn’t be anything but in galaxies so, so far away. Especially with that pesky Princess Leia stealing Han’s love from right under Luke’s nose. ( SkySolo One True Pairing FTW 😉 )
Machamp looked down at the human with an expression that looked like pity.
Finally, seemingly magically, Machamp spoke.
“I’m sorry, Bill,” Machamp said with a voice so mellow and dramatic and melodramatic that it melted Bill’s heart. “But our love can never be.”
It was like the world crashed over. Like the apolocalypse came.
Like the past, the present, and the future all walked into a bar at the same time. Trust me, it was tense.
“Please!” Bill begged, clinging the Pokémon like his life depended on it.
“NO!” The Pokémon roared dramatically back, like a lightning bolt devastating Bill’s ever-tender heart.
“At least give me a reason! Anything but leave me confused and distraught at the beauty that could have been, wondering where I could have gone wrong!” Bill implored, the tears rolling over his cheeks like the waves against the shores of Kanto’s Route 25.
“Because!”
“Yes?”
“BECAUSE!”
“YES?”
“BECAUSE!” The Machamp tore at its own chest, revealing that its body was nothing more than a costume with a young, bespectacled man inside it. “BILL! I. AM. YOUR. FANBOY!”
Instead of disappointment, though, Bill smiled triumphantly.
“But soft! What light through yonder costume breaks? It is the east, and Celio is the sun. Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious Lunala.”
“Bill…”
Bill embraced Celio. “My love, I have already told you that you have my undying love, regardless of who you may be.”
Bill backed away to brush off the tears that were now streaming from Celio’s eyes.
“I have also already told you that you should never order costumes from Party City. They’re cheap and the ‘Made in Unova’ tags are showing.”
“So you’ll accept me?” Celio’s eyes were sparkling. “Forever and always?”
“From the moment I first saw you walk in the café, I accepted you forever and always.”
“Bill, when you first saw me you thought I was a Pokémon.” (This comment is based on the true story of how Bill and Celio first met)
“True, but your eyes. They reminded me of the babe.”
“What babe?”
“The babe with power.”
“What power?”
“The power to woo me.”
“Woo you?”
“You do.”
“This makes me so happy, Bill. I cannot tell you how often I’ve dreamed of the day you would accept me and come to me.” (And this would be what Celio says in his sleep. May or may not be slightly exaggerated)
“And?” The gleam in Bill’s eyes was enormously hopeful.
“And I can already predict an update to the Pokémon Network Center!”
“Oh good. Another day, another program, another bit. More mouths to feed. I love how we live our life on the edge with nerdgasms and bad references to good movies/TV stories.”
“Yes. And do you know what? I think that this go around, we add the ability to progress back in time 10 years every moment that a trainer trades their Pokémon with someone else.”
“Excellent. Then all we’d have to do is kidnap 3 helpless children and force them to trade with me simultaneously so I could go back to that blissful era where Professor Oak was in his prime. I’ve been meaning to add more candid camera pictures to my Oak shrine. Be honest, darling….”
Bill flirtatiously hitched up a bit of the hem of his skirt, winking at Celio as the other boy blushed.
“….If I hid a body camera here, do you think I could get some shots of the inside of Professor Oak’s ear? My life sized statue of Professor Oak made with a mosaic of his pictures that I keep in the back of my bedroom closet needs a few dark shots to be complete. What could be more symbolic than getting a picture of inside his ear? It’s almost like getting a glimpse of that marvelous man’s inner brain itself.”
“I don’t know darling.” Celio said, still distracted by Bill’s fantastic legs. “But I think we need to get working on that time traveling program right now!”
“I agree!” But Bill paused before leaving. “Oh Celio?”
“Yes?”
“Don’t forget the suit now.”
“Of course not.”
They lived happily ever after, sitting half naked in the Ember Spa, dressing up in badly made cosplay, and avoiding milk.
…And all those other activities these two get up to whenever they go on their Sevii island “vacation” together. 😉
I half wonder if there aren’t a few additional elements to this. Like, it seems that most, if not all, Pokemon are intelligent enough to know that humans are far more “defenseless” than the average Pokemon is.
I mean, sure, you have those Pokemon who are extremely territorial/aggressive/hungry, but at the same time not all Pokemon are like that. In fact, I would say that most Pokemon tend to want to avoid conflict at all, unless it somehow extensively threatens their own life in some perceived way. And even then, most attacks directed at humans seem to be more along the lines of a small warning (when Pokemon threaten other Pokemon, they tend to get the a more forceful attack). A researcher with rotten luck is an exception, apparently.
Then again, perhaps I’m just being overly optimistic by saying that Pokemon are less likely to attack a human than they are other Pokemon by virtue of their realization that the human would never survive a few thunderbolts to the head. As I mentioned before, if you have a Pokemon that’s angry or hungry enough, they aren’t going to seem too concerned over human fragility.
Add to this the chance of friendship; as Bill mentioned briefly, many people choose to form some kind of pact with Pokemon to help raise/train them to grow stronger. Perhaps most, if not all, wild Pokemon recognize the potential to become stronger by teaming up with humans, and so have a vested interest in not killing them all.
… . Or we could all just be deluding ourselves and the real reason Pokemon haven’t aggressively hunted humans to extinction is simply because all of them have tried eating us once and think we taste exceptionally awful.
If you can’t eat them, join them.
It’s also very true that pokémon frequently see us as friends, which is why newly captured pokémon tend to take being tamed so well. There are also instances of pokémon quite literally choosing their trainers due to any number of positive qualities that human may possess. Researchers have no doubt that pokémon are capable of being vastly intelligent, although how intelligent may depend on the species. (Alakazam, dragonite, and metagross are thought to be far more intelligent than even humans, but slowpoke … generally are not.) Nonetheless, the fact of the matter is, what you’re saying about pokémon sapience and their drive to form bonds with us is certainly true, and I thank you for adding that.
On a similar note, it is also certainly true that human meat does not, in any way, appeal to anything that one would think would eat us. This is also why animals generally don’t make the attempt. Seeing as I, for one, am not a cannibal, I couldn’t imagine what about our meat is so unappealing, but yes, this is why we are not on the food chain to anyone unless there is quite literally nothing else to eat.
…Except wherever our life forces are concerned. Ghost-types are quite fond of that, unfortunately.
—Bill
The Pokédex According to Bill 
