My Swanna keeps bringing home random Pokemon and trying to keep them. They keep trying to run but she keeps trying to force them to stay until I order her to let them go, but then she gets mad at me! I suspect that this might be because she can’t lay eggs, but what can I do?

There are a couple of things you can do, depending on whether or not you have room for another member of your team.

The first and possibly easiest choice is to consult a breeder and adopt an egg. If your swanna is indeed under the influence of her nesting instinct (and you will know if she is—the behavior you described alone is a hallmark of such for swanna, but she may also be attempting to build a nest somewhere close to your home), then allowing her to bond with an egg may be the best way to pacify her. Be sure that the first pokémon the hatchling sees is your swanna, and she will be able to channel her energies into raising her adoptive child from there. You will, of course, be expected to offer some level of care for the newborn as well (particularly in the form of food and toys), but your swanna will fortunately see to grooming, early training, and general basic care, particularly if you were able to secure a bird pokémon’s egg for her.

Alternatively, if you have no room for a new team member, you may be able to placate her with toys and distractions (such as battling), but if she’s aggressive towards you, her own trainer, then this may be less effective than the above solution. Still, it’s certainly worth trying; there is always a chance that with enough distractions, your swanna will calm down just enough for you to reason with her.

Best of luck, anonymous!

I have bit of a problem. Basically, I was at a park and a Swanna was waddling with their Duckletts. Couple of them broke from the pack and was eyeing my sandwich. I decided to get some crumbs and feed it to the duckletts, but the thing is, they won’t leave me alone! They follow me home and would wait outside of the house. I tried to get my Galvantula to scare them off but the ducks simply hide & come back. I want them to go back to their family but they seem to have more interest in me.

Congratulations on your new ducklett!

Edit: I have just been informed by my editor that this is a terrible answer and that I should really stop answering these asks without her input first.

In all seriousness, the best thing that you can do is take them back to their parent swanna. By doing this, you’ll essentially be bringing them home and allowing swanna to handle their children themselves. This process is, in other words, much like bringing a human child back to their parent. You’re allowing the parent to do what they need to in order to teach their children not to wander off and follow strangers again. It may also help to bring your galvantula with you as you attempt to release the ducklett back into the wild. Any added intimidation displays may chase the ducks back into the water. Or at the very least, they’ll call their swanna parent’s attention to you—which will, at the very least, ensure that it exercises some level of protectiveness and herding behavior towards its young. Of course, you’ll also likely be the target of a Hurricane at most, but on the positive side, the swanna will be more aware of its stray ducklett.

If you’ve already tried this to no avail (or if you’re afraid of ending up with a flock of ducklett and a swanna following you), it may also be a good idea to lead the ducklett to a pokémon center or day care. As odd as this might seem because it’s additional human contact and care, there are always professionals—either nurses or breeders—who may be able to rehabilitate the ducklett, teach them how to rely on wild food sources again, and release them back into their native pond.

Finally, as a serious note to all of my readers, this is one of several reasons why you should avoid feeding wild pokémon anything. Remember, pokémon that make their presence known to humans already have some level of interest in us and what we’re doing. Giving them food will only encourage them to trust you, which could lead to a number of different problems, ranging from the one described above to situations in which a wild pokémon is captured by a less-than-trustworthy human because it thinks it’s going to be fed. If you see a wild pokémon you don’t intend on befriending, it’s best to leave it alone.

Ducklett and Swanna

Ducklett
The Water Bird Pokémon
Type: Water/Flying
Official Registration #: 580
Entry: Ducklett is most famous for its cute appearance as well as its tendency to use its feathers to cutely splash water into the faces of their predators in order to escape capture. However, male ducklett are also known for their corkscrew ███████ and their tendency to ████ ██ ███████ ██████████ ████ ██████
████████ ███ █████████ ████ █████████ █
██████ ███████████ ████ █████ ████████
█ █████████ ██████, which has a very good chance of resulting in the deaths of one or more participants.

Swanna
The White Bird Pokémon
Type: Water/Flying
Official Registration #: 581
Entry: The evolved form of ducklett, via battle experience. There is an unwritten rule among pokémon that a species’ cuteness or beauty is directly proportional to its bloodlust. Swanna is no exception. On the one hand, its elegant look has cemented its place as a symbol of love and grace to Unovans. On the other, it possesses a viciously territorial streak and will either peck innocent bystanders with its sharp beak or literally blow them away with gusts generated from its strong wings. As it typically makes its home on Unova’s many bridges, attempting to cross said bridges on foot during swanna mating season or ducklett hatching season is highly ill advised. (Unfortunately, both of these seasons take up the majority of the year.)

Editor’s Note: On behalf of Bill and myself, we greatly apologize for this entry. Bill has been warned, and he will make an effort not to do it again. —LH