Bill, I’ve been hearing certain rumors from one of my more…. ‘creative’ friends about the Unova government doing something to the Tympole line and similar Pokémon. Do you know anything abiut that?

There are several different conspiracy theories about Unova being completely unable to leave its species of frog-like pokémon alone. Could you be more specific?

(Is it the one about chemical testing affecting tympole sexuality? The one in which Unova is attempting to synthesize hallucinogens from tympole’s poisonous mucus again? Or something else?)

{Please….. tell us the Forbidden Asks.}

{Haha, I haven’t gotten any in a while, and I generally delete them when I recognize them, so I don’t entirely remember the exact contents of all of them. But I do know that:

1. The one that was most memorable involved someone asking about whether or not their thumb-sucking riolu was valid, and this would have been an innocuous ask if it wasn’t preceded by literally three other asks about thumb-sucking. Or didn’t go on about how cute their riolu was when he sucked his thumb, so is it okay to just let him suck his thumb and be babied?

2. So many asks detailing people’s romantic lives with the gardevoir that they’ve caught (which of course means that the gardevoir is either eternally grateful to them or highly obedient). So many asks. Especially whenever another post about gardevoir makes it through.

3. And then there was that ask about what pokémon farts are like. I … I don’t know, guys.

So, uh, the moral of the story is, if you’re asking about how to take care of baby pokémon, please make your ask short, simple, and as generic as possible, and even then, Bill might just point you to the tags. If you’re asking about gardevoir, probably don’t go into how ready and willing she is. And if you’re asking about pokémon farts … they … they smell exactly as you’d imagine.}

Bill! I have a question, are the pink parts of a Medicham really baggy pants, or do they all seem to not skip leg day? I want to know incase my Meditite ever wants to evolve, like my friends’.

Oh no, they never skip leg day. Apparently, standing on one set of toes while meditating does wonders for one’s legs, although they will typically also train their kicks beyond that as well.

On that note, don’t get in the way of a medicham’s High Jump Kick.