I’d like to submit a response in your defense I think if a man is about to harm another person absolutely let the pokemon attack him. I know of a snorlax who violently ripped a man to shreds in defense of his mom. The mom and snorlax are closer then ever. You did a good thing. Ok he was my snorlax.

A bit extreme, but thank you!

Help! I think my Absol is becoming homicidal! A few weeks ago, he slaughtered an opponents Pichu in a battle. Since then, he’s done the same to 4 other Pokémon, and the other day he attacked another trainer. I love my Absol, but I don’t know how to stop this behavior. What do I do?

Please excuse the highlighting. We forgot to close our search after we located these asks. —LH

Pokémon are rarely (practically never) aggressive for no reason, especially if they previously weren’t, readers. Before anything, it’s imperative to figure out why your pokémon are suddenly displaying the behaviors you’ve described, then work to correct the problem from the root. Observe your pokémon to see if you can find any possible triggers. Communicate with them if you can. Consider taking them to a pokémon center to see if their changes in behavior have physiological roots or to receive more personalized care.

Without knowing that root cause, it’s difficult to offer advice, as each of the possible causes come with wildly different solutions, including avoiding certain situations or places (if your pokémon are precognitive, as absol may be—or if they’re simply reading emotions in the case of gardevoir or remembering past traumas in the above ninetales’s case), more rigorous training (if it’s a simple behavioral problem in one or more of the above cases), or even antibiotics or surgery (if the problem is physical in nature). Thus, all I can say is consult your local pokémon center for treatment options, but also, be vigilant in your observations and keep your pokémon’s poké balls on hand at all times.

Lastly, of course, if your pokémon are suicidal, please also be as supportive as possible. Get them the help they need, yes, but also make sure they understand you care deeply for them and will do anything you can to help them.

Best of luck, everyone!

The Roselia Line

Budew
The Bud Pokémon
Type: Grass/Poison
Official Registration #: 406
Entry: This small, bud-like pokémon is often seen sitting by sources of clean water, waiting for sunny days. When it feels the sun on its leaves, it opens its flower to release pollen to gently scatter about its body. Of course, as readers may expect having read this blog for this long, by “pollen,” the author means “Stun Spore and possibly Worry Seed,” and by “to gently scatter about its body,” he means “to stun and subsequently maim any human who thought he would be perfectly fine if he just got another foot closer so that he may study them for the sake of science.”

Roselia
The Thorn Pokémon
Type: Grass/Poison
Official Registration #: 315
Entry: The evolved form of budew, as a result of a heightened sense of happiness and exposure to sunlight. Roselia’s vibrantly colored, rose-shaped hands release a splendid aroma capable of soothing even the most stressed human. However, these hands also conceal sharp thorns in place of stamens, anthers, or digits. These thorns are hollow and contain two different types of venom, both of which are capable of rendering the healthiest human unconscious in a matter of seconds. Likewise, its crown of thorns contains a third poison capable of doing the same, and roselia as a whole use this collection of thorns, in combination with their alluring scent, to hunt. Thus, if someone tells you to “stop and smell the roses,” it is best to assume that they hate you and wish for you to be stabbed in the face repeatedly.

Roserade
The Bouquet Pokémon
Type: Grass/Poison
Official Registration #: 407
Entry: The evolved form of roselia, by exposure to shiny stone. Elegant and nimble, roserade is prized for its disarming talents. Beyond the alluring scent it has inherited from its preevolved form, roserade is capable of dancing across battlefields and striking with incredible speed and precision using poisonous, binding whips. However, seeing as roserade cannot actually learn Vine Whip and seeing as Poison Whip is not a valid move as far as any league is concerned, this information is basically useless to trainers.

The Clamperl Line

Clamperl
The Bivalve Pokémon
Type: Water
Official Registration #: 366
Entry: This oyster-like pokémon is protected by a rock-hard shell throughout most of its life. It keeps this shell clamped shut at all times, protecting itself from virtually every threat. Not even the most persistent corphish can crack its shell and get at the tender meat inside. The only time clamperl’s shell opens is when it’s close to evolution, when it grows too big to close its shell properly. Before then—and right up until evolution—it expends a great deal of energy crafting its signature pearl. It creates only one of these in its lifetime, spending every waking moment shaping this pearl to perfection within the safety of its shell. This pearl is clamperl’s first and only treasure, an object worth so much to each individual clamperl that it may bring the pokémon to tears just by looking at it. So naturally, the second clamperl opens its shell, the pearl is perfectly safe and sound and carried with that clamperl through evolution. (Just kidding. It’s instantly lifted by a grumpig using telekinesis from the shoreline to be given to a newborn spoink.)

Huntail
The Deep Sea Pokémon
Type: Water
Official Registration #: 367
Entry: The evolved form of clamperl, via trading if the subject has been given a deep sea tooth. Using its tail—which is shaped like a small fish—huntail glides through the murky depths of the sea and attracts fish and smaller water pokémon. Once its prey gets close, huntail whirls around, unhinges its jaw, and swallows its prey whole. The act of unhinging its jaw opens its mouth wide, almost to unnatural degrees, and it can be quite alarming to watch. However, despite this ability and huntail’s already alarming appearance, huntail is not the most horrifying deep-sea creature in existence. That particular note of recognition goes to…

Gorebyss
The South Sea Pokémon
Type: Water
Official Registration #: 368
Entry: The evolved form of clamperl, via trading if the subject has been given a deep sea scale. This beautiful pokémon glides elegantly through the depths of warm oceans. Its brilliant, pink or golden scales shimmer as it moves—especially during the spring, when its coloration turns even more vivid. This change in color is likely because spring is typically the beginning of the mating season for most other water-types, a time when they are largely distracted and unable to notice a passing gorebyss until it stabs its thin, dagger-like mouth into their potential mates’ bodies and drains them of all their bodily fluids.

Houndour and Houndoom

Houndour
The Dark Pokémon
Type: Dark/Fire
Official Registration #: 228
Entry: A small, dog-like pokémon native to thick, dark forests. Interestingly, although this pokémon is part of the Johtonian Regional Pokédex, it was first discovered in Kanto and cannot, in truth, be found at all in Johto outside of the Johtonian Safari Zone Nature Preserve. The reason behind this discrepancy is actually quite simple. Houndour hunt in massive packs through the darkness of their native forests, where their pelts can blend in with forest shadows as they corner prey, and Kantonian researchers possess far stronger self-preservation instincts than their Johtonian counterparts.

Houndoom
The Dark Pokémon
Type: Dark/Fire
Official Registration #: 229
Entry: The evolved form of houndour, by battle experience. This dog-like pokémon is capable of exhaling a jet of fire and a spray of incendiary, highly caustic, toxic chemicals at the same time. The effect of these two mechanisms in combination leaves not only second-degree thermal burns (at the minimum) but severe chemical burns as well. According to folklore, anyone unfortunate enough to receive these burns will never fully recover; the burn will essentially be painful forever. However, this is not necessarily true. With proper care, the pain will typically subside within a week, and the resulting scar will fade within a year. On the other hand, not necessarily true isn’t the same thing as entirely false. First, one must remember that centuries ago, back when people first began to think this about houndoom burns, treatments for burns that complex or severe didn’t exist. Second, psychological pain is never a thing that heals easily, and some survivors of houndoom attacks may acquire a fear of houndoom thereafter. Third, either way, being burned by a houndoom feels just about as delightful as being attacked by a swarm of angry magikarp, and based on personal experience alone, the author would not recommend it.