Hello and good day, Bill! The reason I’m calling today is that I have been looking over your dex entries. And I couldn’t help but notice that you seem to be missing a particular Pokemon. A Pokemon that happens to be very important to me. I wonder if you could do me this favor? :)

Ah, yes. I believe I know exactly which pokémon you mean!

Bouffalant
The Bash Buffalo Pokémon
Type: Normal
Official Registration #: 626
Entry: A five-foot-tall buffalo pokémon known best for its luxurious mane of hair. The hair itself forms a perfect halo of soft curls that are capable of absorbing damage from almost any attack. Likewise, just as the beard of certain martial artists conceal a third fist with which they may deliver devastating punches, the hair of the bouffalant conceal a rock-hard, horn-like skull plate that adds an incredible amount of power to the species’ already deadly Head Charge attack. Indeed, the glistening, chestnut curls of this creature form the most beautiful hairstyle of any pokémon in existence. It is the hair that puts furfrou’s tamable fur coat to shame and makes milotic’s rainbow-colored scales look utterly dull by comparison. It is the mane of power, and no mere mortal is worthy to gaze upon its magnificence.

Luvdisc and Alomomola

Luvdisc
The Rendezvous Pokémon
Type: Water
Official Registration #: 370
Entry: A small but rare fish pokémon native to warm, tropical waters. Due to its heart shape and the fact that it is most prevalent in Hoenn’s seas, it is considered a symbol of love to Hoennian culture, and giving one to a Hoennian is a means of expressing your eternal love for them. This is extremely vital information for non-native Hoennians with Hoennian friends, as making the mistake of giving one to your research partner—who is both from Hoenn and quite fond of things that are pink and cute—without prior knowledge of what luvdisc means in her culture will result in a very strongly worded email and an entire evening of very awkward apologies. Doubly so if you failed to enter the recipient’s ID # into the storage system’s gifting feature correctly and wind up sending it to her sister instead.

Alomomola
The Caring Pokémon
Type: Water
Official Registration #: 594
Entry: Once thought to be an evolved form of luvdisc, alomomola is actually an unrelated species whose “shows of affection” are actually its attempts to heal any injured creature it comes across as it swims. This is also vital information for a non-native Hoennian, particularly after they’re been knocked into the ocean by their justifiably upset research partner’s solrock.

Hey, Bill. Have you ever come in contact with the Krookodile line?

Yes indeed! I take it this is meant to be a request? If so:

Sandile
The Desert Croc Pokémon
Type: Ground/Dark
Official Registration #: 551
Entry: Sandile are a crocodile-like pokémon with two notable adaptations for life in the desert: skin the color of sand and the unique habit of traveling across the dunes with most of their bodies buried. Because of both adaptations, sandile are extremely difficult to spot as they move across the Unova desert, but despite this, they are also timid, easily panicked pokémon that have a tendency to snap at whatever unwittingly walks too close for comfort with their sharp jaws, regardless of whether or not that threat can actually see them. Thus, the writer has only one piece of advice for anyone who intends on traveling through the Unova desert: wear boots.

Krokorok
The Desert Croc Pokémon
Type: Ground/Dark
Official Registration #: 552
Entry: The evolved form of sandile, by battle experience. Krokorok are very similar to their evolutionary predecessor, save for three key differences: size, the tendency to travel in packs of three or more, and the fact that they will snap at hapless travelers not out of self-defense but instead because they enjoy toying with anyone who has the audacity of traveling through their territory. Thus, should you wish to travel through the deeper parts of the Unova desert where krokorok tend to nest, the writer has additional words of advice for you: wear heavier boots and bring a water-type.

Krookodile
The Intimidation Pokémon
Type: Ground/Dark
Official Registration #: 553
Entry: The evolved form of krokorok, by battle experience. Despite the fact that its predecessors call the Unova desert home, Krookodile are not native to that region but instead Australia, where the harsh environs have forced the local krokorok to evolve into larger, more aggressive forms with jaws capable of smashing through cars. This does not seem to faze the Australians, who seem to have made it a sport to find and wrestle wild krookodile to the ground. In light of this, the writer has only one last word of advice for his readers: don’t go to Australia.

The Litwick Line

Litwick
The Candle Pokémon
Type: Ghost/Fire
Official Registration #: 607
Entry: Litwick are known for two things. First, they exclusively inhabit old mansions and other stately buildings. Second, they feed on the life force of those who mistake its cute smile, its candle-like appearance, and its eagerness to help for an actual attempt to lead lost travelers to safety. Due to both of these facts at once, litwick encounters are among the highest causes of death for anyone who has seen the film Beauty and the Beast in recent years.

Lampent
The Lamp Pokémon
Type: Ghost/Fire
Official Registration #: 608
Entry: The evolved form of litwick, by battle experience. More benevolent compared to the other members of its evolutionary line, lampent do not prey on the living but rather wander the streets of populated areas and feed on the dead. For this reason, lampent are popular to keep within the house as wards against evil spirits, but it should be kept in mind that this also means that lampent are rather tasteless gifts for the elderly. (For this reason, lampent are extremely popular gifts for the elderly in their home region of Unova.)

Chandelure
The Luring Pokémon
Type: Ghost/Fire
Official Registration #: 609
Entry: The evolved form of lampent, by exposure to dusk stone. While not necessarily any more docile or benevolent than its previous forms, chandelure are not known for actively hunting down prey. Instead, they lures prey into their flames by maneuvering their arms in hypnotic loops, and once prey is ensnared, chandelure passively allow their fire to consume the prey whole. Fifty years ago, Unovan children liked to “help” chandelure out by making a game out of attempting to get as close to one’s flames as possible without being burned, resulting in massive numbers of children being burned alive by this pokémon. The only thing that stopped these numbers from climbing any higher were newly enacted evolution stone control laws, put in place not because of the massive amounts of childhood deaths to pokémon that evolve by dusk stone but instead because the Unovan government realized exactly how much money they could make off state-controlled sales of evolution stones. There are groups in Unova who vehemently oppose such laws, less because of the state’s apparent disregard for children and more because of their personal right to own evolution stones, and if any of this sounds horrific, the writer would like to remind you that he’s speaking of the Unova region, so this should come as no surprise to anyone.

Pikachu?

Plusle
The Cheering Pokémon
Type: Electric
Official Registration #: 311
Entry: Contrary to popular belief, not a long-eared pikachu. Its abilities are best used in tandem with minun; otherwise, you have a very cheerful rabbit with the electrical strength of a battery.

Minun
The Cheering Pokémon
Type: Electric
Official Registration #: 312
Entry: Contrary to popular belief, also not a long-eared pikachu. Its abilities are best used in tandem with plusle; otherwise, you have a very cheerful rabbit with the electrical strength of a battery.

Pachirisu
The EleSquirrel Pokémon
Type: Electric
Official Registration #: 417
Entry: Contrary to popular belief, not a long-tailed pikachu. Not to be underestimated. Although its electrical strength by no means rivals the aforementioned pikachu, its tenacity and energy render it intensely difficult to defeat in the hands of the right trainer. Which has made at least one tournament against a certain dragon trainer hilarious to watch. (On the negative side, this also makes pachirisu infestations difficult to control, which is, to be fair, not entirely an issue except for that one time when one noteworthy specimen was responsible for a major blackout in Castelia City.)

Emolga
The Sky Squirrel Pokémon
Type: Electric/Flying
Official Registration #: 587
Entry: Contrary to popular belief, not a flying pikachu. However, just as potentially destructive as one. Fortunately, as buildings provide inadequate surfaces from which to jump off and land, emolga generally prefer sticking to forested areas, as trees are far easier to glide between. Unfortunately, this is of no comfort to anyone who happens to be traveling through the wooded areas of Unova—which is to say, everyone.

Dedenne
The Antenna Pokémon
Type: Electric/Fairy
Official Registration #: 702
Entry: Actually, this one probably is a close relative to pikachu. We’re still doing research into that.

Ducklett and Swanna

Ducklett
The Water Bird Pokémon
Type: Water/Flying
Official Registration #: 580
Entry: Ducklett is most famous for its cute appearance as well as its tendency to use its feathers to cutely splash water into the faces of their predators in order to escape capture. However, male ducklett are also known for their corkscrew ███████ and their tendency to ████ ██ ███████ ██████████ ████ ██████
████████ ███ █████████ ████ █████████ █
██████ ███████████ ████ █████ ████████
█ █████████ ██████, which has a very good chance of resulting in the deaths of one or more participants.

Swanna
The White Bird Pokémon
Type: Water/Flying
Official Registration #: 581
Entry: The evolved form of ducklett, via battle experience. There is an unwritten rule among pokémon that a species’ cuteness or beauty is directly proportional to its bloodlust. Swanna is no exception. On the one hand, its elegant look has cemented its place as a symbol of love and grace to Unovans. On the other, it possesses a viciously territorial streak and will either peck innocent bystanders with its sharp beak or literally blow them away with gusts generated from its strong wings. As it typically makes its home on Unova’s many bridges, attempting to cross said bridges on foot during swanna mating season or ducklett hatching season is highly ill advised. (Unfortunately, both of these seasons take up the majority of the year.)

Editor’s Note: On behalf of Bill and myself, we greatly apologize for this entry. Bill has been warned, and he will make an effort not to do it again. —LH