Remoraid and Octillery

Remoraid
The Jet Pokémon
Type: Water
Official Registration #: 223
Entry: Besides their symbiotic relationship with mantine, remoraid are most known for their ability to shoot strong jets of water that are capable of striking opponents more than 300 feet away. If you happen to be wondering how a 27-pound water-dwelling pokémon can shoot a jet of water that powerful without blasting themselves backwards as a result of basic physics, the answer is … they can’t.

Octillery
The Jet Pokémon
Type: Water
Official Registration #: 224
Entry: The evolved form of remoraid, by battle experience. Most pokédex entries will go into either its use of ink to blind prey or its ability to use its strong tentacles and suction cups to trap its victims shortly before incapacitating them with its rock-hard head. However, this writer finds it far, far more interesting that this is an octopus that evolves from a fish, and his peers have simply accepted this to be perfectly logical.

Wailmer and Wailord

Wailmer
The Ball Whale Pokémon
Type: Water
Official Registration #: 320
Entry: Wailmer have the ability to travel on land by filling their elastic bodies up with water and bouncing like beach balls up the shore and to dry ground. They can also increase the height and speed of their bounce by taking in higher volumes of water, and they enjoy doing all of this on sunny, clear days near populated beaches. Given the fact that wailmer are 6.5 feet tall and 172 pounds in their natural states, this is understandably a cause for alarm for all towns on the coasts of their native Hoenn.

Wailord
The Float Whale Pokémon
Type: Water
Official Registration #: 321
Entry: The evolved form of wailmer, by battle experience. At an average height of 47 feet, 7 inches, wailord is by far the largest documented pokémon in existence. Because of the sheer size of this pokémon and the fact that regulation fields are, for whatever reason, not that much larger than the average specimen, it is extremely difficult for trainers to raise a wailord for battling purposes. However, there is a small group of trainers who raise wailord purely for the novelty of it, especially thanks to the fact that it can crossbreed with some of the smallest pokémon on record, including diglett and skitty. Regulations intended to dissuade trainers from doing this have been brought forth before various government bodies, but given the nature of bureaucracy, any such legislation has yet to be passed.

Corphish and Crawdaunt

Corphish
The Ruffian Pokémon
Type: Water
Official Registration #: 341
Entry: Its hardy physiology enable it to thrive in a variety of environments, including heavily polluted lakes and streams. For this reason, Hoennian opinion about corphish tends to be divided. On the one hand, its abundance means that corphish are plentiful and easy to find and capture, as it can survive practically any form of water besides a pot of boiling broth. On the other, just because you’ve boiled the thing does not mean the corphish you’d caught from the river next to the power plant is edible.

Crawdaunt
The Rogue Pokémon
Type: Water/Dark
Official Registration #: 342
Entry: The evolved form of corphish, by battle experience. Said to be the modern-day relative of armaldo, crawdaunt similarly possess hefty bodies and large, heavy claws capable of doing massive amounts of damage to its enemies. However, unlike armaldo, crawdaunt do not have rocky hides that make physical attacks difficult. Rather, they have extremely foul tempers and may attack at the slightest provocation—such as, for example, the scent of tamato berries, one of the primary ingredients for the cocktail sauce normally served with cold shrimp.

Skrelp and Dragalge

Skrelp
The Mock Kelp Pokémon
Type: Poison/Water
Official Registration #: 690
Entry: Its colorization, leaf-like appendages, and propensity to travel in large groups makes skrelp nearly indistinguishable from rotting kelp in the calmer, shallower waters of coastal regions. Additionally, both of the possible natural abilities for this species involve poisoning on contact, and as such, it is both understandable and not uncommon for beaches to shut down upon the sighting of a skrelp forest. Yet interestingly enough, Kalos, the region with the highest population of skrelp, is also home to the most nudist beaches in the world, which should say a thing or few about the Kalosean natives.

Dragalge
The Mock Kelp Pokémon
Type: Poison/Dragon
Official Registration #: 691
Entry: The evolved form of skrelp, by battle experience. Whereas skrelp possess milder venom and prefer to drift and allow prey to stumble across them, dragalge have the audacity to chase down ships and melt hulls via their highly acidic venom. Why this is so, no one quite knows, but it’s been the cause of an innumerable amount of shipwrecks in the Atlantic Ocean since the advent of maritime travel. Interestingly enough, the Great Britain, nation to the north of Kalos and the other French regions (and therefore home to the second largest skrelp and dragalge population in the world), is also home to a proud naval history. Said history involves one of the largest and longest-lasting navies ever created and, therefore, one of the largest totals of human life lost to dragalge ever counted. Between this and the Kalosean nudist beaches, it can be gathered that the human species is a strange and ultimately unreasonably stubborn thing with a fixation on defying nature.

Psyduck and Golduck

Psyduck
The Duck Pokémon
Type: Water
Official Registration #: 54
Entry: Whether or not psyduck may also be classified as a psychic-type has been a matter of intense debate for nearly twenty years. On the one hand, psyduck display virtually none of the classic defensive strengths and weaknesses of a psychic-type, thus defying the traditional requirements of the current classification system. On the other, psyduck also display extraordinary psychokinetic ability when under physical duress, and in any case, they don’t really display much in the way of defensive capabilities to begin with.

Golduck
The Duck Pokémon
Type: Water
Official Registration #: 55
Entry: The evolved form of psyduck, by battle experience. Much like its previous form, golduck are capable of performing incredible feats of telekinesis, especially under physical stress. However, unlike psyduck, golduck are capable of remembering such feats and summoning their psychic abilities at will. One would think this would result in an end to the scientific debate concerning whether or not the psyduck line are dual psychics, but it seems that researchers in Kanto were far more content to point to golduck’s predilection for swimming as proof that it is simply a water-type. This should also explain why those same researchers described gyarados as being water/flying, even though gyarados do not, in fact, possess any flying or wind-bending abilities whatsoever.

Ducklett and Swanna

Ducklett
The Water Bird Pokémon
Type: Water/Flying
Official Registration #: 580
Entry: Ducklett is most famous for its cute appearance as well as its tendency to use its feathers to cutely splash water into the faces of their predators in order to escape capture. However, male ducklett are also known for their corkscrew ███████ and their tendency to ████ ██ ███████ ██████████ ████ ██████
████████ ███ █████████ ████ █████████ █
██████ ███████████ ████ █████ ████████
█ █████████ ██████, which has a very good chance of resulting in the deaths of one or more participants.

Swanna
The White Bird Pokémon
Type: Water/Flying
Official Registration #: 581
Entry: The evolved form of ducklett, via battle experience. There is an unwritten rule among pokémon that a species’ cuteness or beauty is directly proportional to its bloodlust. Swanna is no exception. On the one hand, its elegant look has cemented its place as a symbol of love and grace to Unovans. On the other, it possesses a viciously territorial streak and will either peck innocent bystanders with its sharp beak or literally blow them away with gusts generated from its strong wings. As it typically makes its home on Unova’s many bridges, attempting to cross said bridges on foot during swanna mating season or ducklett hatching season is highly ill advised. (Unfortunately, both of these seasons take up the majority of the year.)

Editor’s Note: On behalf of Bill and myself, we greatly apologize for this entry. Bill has been warned, and he will make an effort not to do it again. —LH