Hmm. Well, seeing as I’ve just reached 250 followers and I haven’t yet died after posting my analysis of the Kanto gym leaders…

That is a terrible reason to assume this is okay, but on the other hand, I’m impressed Lt. Surge only let you off with a warning. Therefore, I’m going to let you continue, just because I’d like to see whether or not Clair would do the same. —LH

And seeing as my editor is my dearest friend who is always concerned about my well being…

Falkner
The Elegant Master of Flying Pokémon
Type: Flying
Positon: First Badge—Zephyr
Entry: The newest gym leader within the Johto circuit, Falkner had recently inherited both his gym and his bird pokémon from his father. Whether or not he’s as graceful as his equally inherited gym leader title implies has yet to be determined, but from what the author has seen on the occasions when all of the previous generation of kimono girls gather with their children … the answer is no. Apologies to his fangirls.

Bugsy
The Walking Bug Pokémon Encyclopedia
Type: Bug
Positon: Second Badge—Hive
Entry: A young expert in bug-type pokémon, Bugsy knows everything there is to know about his specialty, including the inner workings of moves that he had discovered himself. He has been known to go on for some time about the mysteries and beauty of bug-types, regardless of his listener’s level of interest. One could say that Bugsy is a bug-type maniac, preferring the company of his own bugs to people while valuing the importance of even the tiniest weedle. In short, Bugsy is the author’s favorite, as he is apparently a trainer after his own heart.

Whitney
The Incredibly Pretty Girl
Type: Normal
Positon: Third Badge—Plain
Entry: A minor celebrity in her hometown of Goldenrod City, this gym leader is known for her cuteness, her fashionable tastes, her skill on the battlefield, and her generally charismatic personality. These are absolutely things she is known for, and the author is not at all downplaying any negative aspects of her personality (such as talkativeness, nosiness, or overabundance of energy … which are traits she certainly doesn’t have) because he realizes she knows where he lives, is good friends with his mother, and will never let him hear the end of it if he says anything to the contrary.

Morty
The Mystic Seer of the Future
Type: Ghost
Positon: Fourth Badge—Fog
Entry: A talented psychic, this gym leader has trained for the majority of his life to hone his abilities, all with the hopes of one day meeting Ho-oh. As a result, Morty is a formidable battler with a plethora of talents, including the abilities to see spirits and the future. Unfortunately, given his self-appointed title, writing is apparently not among the aforementioned talents.

Chuck
His Roaring Fists Do the Talking
Type: Fighting
Positon: Fifth Badge—Storm
Entry: A manly individual who trains for nearly twenty-four hours a day beneath the roaring waterfalls of his gym. Nothing can convince this man to do anything, not even challengers, the league rules (concerning the proper formatting of gym titles in the Johto region) … or his unfortunately beleaguered wife.

Jasmine
The Steel-Clad Iron Defense Girl
Type: Steel
Positon: Sixth Badge—Mineral
Entry: A shy, sweet, and soft-spoken girl with a compassionate heart, Jasmine is both a friendly individual who is eager to make friends … and a steelix-wielding warrior princess who is fully capable of breaking every bone of the author’s body without pokémon. Needless to say, the author thinks Jasmine is a wonderful girl.

Pryce
The Teacher of Winter’s Harshness
Type: Ice
Positon: Seventh Badge—Glacier
Entry: A battle-hardened veteran trainer and a master of the ice type. The author is certain that Pryce is a wise individual who has plenty to teach the younger generations, but most of his conversations with this particular gym leader were more like one-sided rants about how modern technology is a plague to human existence and how the author in particular has contributed to the laziness and/or downfall of his own generation.

Clair
The Blessed User of Dragon Pokémon
Type: Dragon
Positon: Eighth Badge—Rising
Entry: A beautiful, talented, vastly intelligent, magnificently wise, and uniquely powerful mistress of dragon pokémon with whom the author has no quarrel. (Please don’t hurt me.)