Are the kimono girls still a thing? I know your mom was one but I think if they’re not around anymore they should have a new group of them. I have a sylveon I think would make a lovely addition

Yes, of course! Johto has a very proud set of traditions, dating back nearly two thousand years, and kimono girls are part of that. They’re the keepers of our traditions, and it’s their duty to pass their knowledge on to the next generation so that our culture will live on until the return of Ho-oh. It’s not that our culture as a whole will be forgotten if kimono girls don’t preserve it; it’s more that they’re another cultural resource, one that makes sure at least some part of our regional identity is still alive.

Thus, there are actually always more than one troupe of kimono girls, most of whom are from Ecruteak City. The most famous of these, of course, are associated with the Kimono Dance Theater, as the kimono girls of that particular place are the ones who are taught the Kin no Mai and Gin no Mai (the specific prayer-dances meant for summoning Ho-oh and Lugia, respectively). To be fair, these would disappear if the kimono girls had no successors, and given the fact that Ho-oh and Lugia are a major part of our culture, I suppose in a way, the troupes do safeguard the future of our region.

That having been said, I admit that sylveon are not traditional partners to kimono girls, but ever since the rise in popularity of the fairy-type (partially due to the registration of the Kalos Dex and partially due to the rising popularity of my fellow descendant-of-a-kimono-girl, Valerie), it’s become a bit of a trend among the kimono-girls-in-training of Ecruteak City to pamper eevee and hope they become sylveon. Or so my younger sister tells me. In any case, technically, there’s nothing in the rules for being a kimono girl that states they can’t own recently discovered eeveelutions (or, for that matter, that they can’t own any pokémon they want), so sylveon is a perfectly viable addition to a kimono girl troupe.

Did you have anyone in mind, anonymous, or were you thinking of becoming a kimono girl yourself? If the latter, be warned that a kimono girl’s training is notoriously rigorous, but should you still be interested, the best place to begin would be Ecruteak City.

Hey, Bill, I know this is outside your range of expertise, but do you know exactly how much one Poke is, (compared to the USD or the Japanese Yen)? Or if there isn’t a conversion system, what are some household items and their relative costs?

Bill: Currency is a strange thing in our world, reader. Decades ago, we did away with a lot of forms of it to replace it with a universal currency (the poké) to make things easier for trainers. It’s very much the same case as languages, which we’ve also done away with in favor of a universal alternative due to the high volume of globetrotting trainers. For that reason, the exchange rate is largely irrelevant because neither the yen nor the dollar still exist.

However, if it helps at all, the current cost of a loaf of bread is about P160, and rice or a carton of eggs is usually P200. If you’d like a few non-edible examples, a ticket for one train ride on either the Goldenrod MTB or the Celadon Metro costs about P200 each, assuming you’re not taking an express line. A nice pair of slacks, however, can be upwards of P7000. A cheap internet plan may be P4030, but on the positive side, a cheap, prepaid cellphone is usually only P50.

For the sake of not depressing anyone, I’ll refrain from telling you how much rent in a student housing complex is if you’re not lucky enough to have a scholarship for it.

Hoenn Legendaries! Mostly Rayquaza. :D

Well, there are certainly a number of fascinating stories about the Hoenn region, and a single post can’t quite do them all justice. For that reason, let this be the first in a (half-)week-long Hoenn special.

Starting with, of course:

Rayquaza
The Sky High Pokémon
Type: Dragon/Flying
Official Registration #: 384
Entry: According to Hoennian lore, this legendary dragon has lived for millions of years in the uppermost layers of the planet’s atmosphere, and because of how far high and how fast it flies, only recently (comparatively speaking) has humanity developed the technology that makes it possible to see Rayquaza in flight. Otherwise, it does not leave this part of the atmosphere except for when Earth is in imminent danger. Rather, it glides ever vigilantly across the sky, sleeping rarely and eating nothing but the tops of thunderclouds and incoming meteoroids. The author really has nothing funny to say about Rayquaza; he just thinks the idea of an eternal, meteoroid-consuming dragon flying across the edge of space is awesome.

My whimsicott likes sleeping with me, but sometimes gets cotton everywhere. So lately I’ve been kicking her out of my room when I sleep to avoid getting coated in cotton, but she’s still somehow sneaking in when I wake up! How is she doing this?

This is true for whimsicott as well as its preevolution, cottonee, but the majority of a whimsicott’s mass is actually just cotton. Its actual body is incredibly thin, to the point where unless it’s eaten recently, it can fit itself under door cracks. That having been said, it’s very likely yours is doing the same: sliding herself through the crack beneath your door or even around your door’s edges. This is why many experienced whimsicott trainers reinforce their doors by fitting door seals (available at most hardware stores) beneath their doors and rubber sealing around the edges. It’s also quite handy for treating drafts, for that matter!

Or, alternatively, you could try training your whimsicott to sleep elsewhere (by using the typical strategy of feeding her a treat whenever she does something you want her to do—such as, for example, giving her a favored berry for breakfast), but sealing your door is an effective strategy too.

Hey Lanette, let’s have the most embarrassing story you’ve got about Bill. Whatever it is, I’m sure it deserves to be immortalized on the Internet.

I’m afraid I value my friendship with my partner too much to tell you his actual most embarrassing story, anonymous. Instead, you’ll have to be content with his second most embarrassing story.

Or at least the vague details about it, anyway.

Namely that he’s tried and failed to seduce the girl in the Goldenrod Flower Shop a grand total of thirty-nine times.

All thirty-nine of those attempts are individual embarrassing stories, so I can’t possibly choose just one.

For the record, I was not trying to seduce her. —Bill

Well, you weren’t actually seducing her, either. —LH

Hi Bill, I was wondering if you could help clear something up for me? My family and I moved from Mahogany town to Canalave city a few years ago and since then me and my brother have been getting a lot of odd looks and seem to be being treated differently than most of the other people our age. The only reason I’ve been able to see is that I’m a dark type specialist and my brother’s a specialist in ghost types. I was hoping you might know if this has anything to do with it.

Admittedly, the people of Johto and the people of Sinnoh have had a bit of a rivalry going on for ages over our respective customs. Namely, Johtonians typically honor the twin guardians Ho-oh and Lugia above all other legendary pokémon, whereas Sinnohans follow a hierarchy centered around Arceus and the guardians of time, space, and states of being. It doesn’t help, of course, that the last time our two regions did anything collaborative, the Sinnohans put an altar to Arceus in it. Johtonians, being Johtonians (even back when we worshipped the unown, which was before we worshipped Ho-oh and Lugia), responded by sealing off all entrances to said shrine except for the one going through what’s currently the Ruins of Alph. Because we Johtonians take pride in the fact that we had perfected the art of being petty long before we had a proper word for it.

Also, Johtonians in general have … a bit of a reputation about them in other regions that isn’t exactly flattering. Some regions find us funny, outspoken, or emotional. Others find us brash, loud, overly ambitious, and (if you’re from certain parts of Goldenrod or Olivine) possibly some kind of delinquent.

If I recall correctly, Mahogany Town is a bit more removed from the regional customs than many other cities and towns in Johto—including Goldenrod—and as such, the regional rivalry with Sinnoh isn’t quite as lively there as it is elsewhere. Conversely, Canalave City, being the entryway into the Sinnoh region as well as one of its many cultural centers (thanks to the Canalave Library), is also home to those who are very, very dedicated to Sinnohan customs, including maintaining a rather … welcoming attitude towards anyone who speaks with one of the Johtonian dialects.

Granted, yes, it’s also true that Sinnohans “worship” a dark-type legendary and a ghost-type legendary (in that they fear them—greatly), but for that reason, any researcher or expert who wishes to study them tends to be higher respected than one would think. There’s a reason why Canalave has a library, after all: knowledge is power in Sinnoh.

So in other words, it’s probably less because of your type specialties and more because, well, you may obviously be from Johto. This isn’t to say you absolutely must change yourselves to fit in. Speaking as someone who had left Johto to live in Kanto (a region home to even more colorful opinions of Johtonians than anything that’s crossed a Sinnohan’s mind), it’s possible to get along just fine within a region that customarily thinks you’re hilarious and quaint. In your case, I would recommend establishing yourselves as serious experts of your types. Help other Sinnohans overcome their fear of dark- or ghost-types and teach them the proper way to care for ordinary pokémon of your respective elements. The more you can serve as a teacher to others, the easier it will be to get people to feel comfortable with you … or at least take you seriously.

And because I’m certain at least one of my colleagues is just waiting to make a comment about that last part, I would like to remind all of you that I am, in fact, well-respected within the Pokémon Association and that one of you who I’m sure would love to imply otherwise also speaks with a Goldenrod accent, Bebe.

My meowstics just recently had an espurr, who is absolutely adorable but he gets nightmares and cries at night. What can I do to help him?

If you can, try to pair him with a munna. Not only are munna extremely non-threatening pokémon (that is to say, they’re just plain calming to look at), but they also consume nightmares as their basic form of sustenance. As a fellow psychic-type, it will likely do everything it can to comfort your espurr, especially if the munna is older.

However, if you don’t have access to a munna, encourage your meowstic to lie down with their kitten and comfort him as he sleeps, at least for the next couple of months. Eventually, try to have him “weaned” off this care by letting his parents lie with him only until he falls asleep.

It may also help to reduce stress through aromatherapy. In fact, the various incenses were originally created for the express purpose of lowering a pokémon’s stress and heightening their mental serenity and clarity. (The secondary effects of each type were simply perks that humans had stumbled across sometime afterward.) Of the various types, psychics tend to respond most to odd incense, but pure incense is just as calming … and likely less aggravating to the human nose. Once you’ve chosen a scent that your espurr likes (and you wouldn’t mind filling your home or apartment), place it in its special holder and place the activated holder somewhere near your espurr, in a spot where its scent can’t be blocked and where the holder can’t be knocked over by his developing telekinetic abilities.

Of course, on top of all of this, see if there are any possible causes of stress in your espurr’s waking life. Considering he was only recently born, it’s doubtful, but nonetheless, it’s entirely possible that your espurr may have been worked up over something that didn’t quite get resolved before he was put to bed. Also check for any possible ghost-types or members of the drowzee line in the vicinity, as these could cause nightmares as well.

Hey bill I’m an exclusive water type trainer and my boyfriends parents came to me about getting a starter for their daughter. Considering they live in sootopolis, Hoenn they figured a water type would be best. While I agree, I’m Not quite sure which of my Pokémon to breed for her. I have a starmie, Dewgong, dragonair, azumarill, Lapras, and milotic. What do you think?

I can tell you right now that lapras, feebas, and seel may be a bit difficult. While Hoenn is indeed a heavily aquatic region, much of the gym circuit takes you inland—up a volcano, no less. Even if your boyfriend’s sister plans on keeping her starter in its poké ball for much of her journey, the dryness of Mt. Chimney, Lavaridge, and the Hoennian desert may make it difficult for training pokémon not well-adapted to land.

Of the remaining three, dratini may be the most difficult to train. It doesn’t learn powerful moves right off the bat, and it’s slower to raise and evolve than the other two, even considering the fact that one of them can only evolve via exposure to a water stone. However, it is the most powerful option in the long-run, so it really comes down to how much patience your boyfriend’s sister is willing to exercise.

Meanwhile, staryu and marill (or azurill, depending on whether or not you plan on giving your azumarill sea incense before breeding it) are both perfectly fine choices. Both are fully capable of traveling on land, both are equally easy to raise, and both learn moves rather quickly (compared to dratini). Staryu may be a little more challenging to bond with because it’s not as expressive as marill, nor is it quite as affectionate, but on the other hand, marill’s secondary fairy typing instills in it a natural mischievousness that may be a challenge to a trainer who’s not quite expecting it. Additionally, marill may be easier to raise (and certainly easier to evolve), in part due to its ability to bond with its trainer and in part because its defensive capabilities make it more difficult to defeat, but on the other hand, staryu and starmie learn a wider variety of moves and have generally better offensive capabilities.

In the end, I would recommend either a marill or staryu, as those two may be the easiest for your boyfriend’s sister to train. Between the two of them, you would have to ask yourself if she would prefer a more defensive, more affectionate pokémon or a mysterious pokémon that’s a bit faster and can hit harder by default.

Of course, as always, be sure to ask the new trainer what she would like as well. She may even be willing to train a dratini if she has her heart set on something a bit more mystical.

But … try to steer her away from the idea of raising a seel, feebas, or lapras in the heart of the Hoennian mainland. Just … just trust me on that.

Hey Bill! its me, the guy with the touchy gardevoir, thanks for the responce but i belive i have an interesting one for ya! It seems like my Gardevoir is trying to talk. Sometimes when i speak to her about something, some words get played back from her like she’s trying to use me to communicate. If this is the case, i was wondering if there was anything i can do to help her succeed in her goal. It happens often and she knows shes doing it so I want to help her get what she needs.

If you can stand it, grasp her hands or press your forehead to hers at first, then maintain physical contact through the duration of the message. This is just a temporary fix to help her sharpen her focus on you and “grasp” at your mind.

Also, there are certain exercises you can undertake to “open up” your mind a bit more. These are largely meditations where you visualize your mind pressing outwards, but really, any guided meditation designed to make you aware of yourself will do. Engage in these meditations alongside your gardevoir, and ensure that each session is at least a half an hour long. By doing this, your gardevoir will get used to your presence and thus become acquainted with the layout of your psyche (which in turn will make it easier and easier for her to enter).

Additionally, bond with her. The closer a human spends with a psychic pokémon, the stronger their psychic connection will become, even if the human doesn’t actually show psychic talent on their own. Those who spend years growing closer with their psychic pokémon and maintaining a close friendship can converse with their partners as naturally as two people speaking aloud. It’s much like how two human friends who spend years together may know each other so well they can finish each other’s sentences, only with a psychic pokémon, that’s literally true. In other words, the more time you spend with gardevoir, the easier it will be to speak with her.

In any case, though, with all of this, I highly recommend taking it slow. Never be too impatient when it comes to nurturing this kind of bond. That’s an excellent way to become plagued with agonizing migraines. (This would be why I began this post with “if you can stand it”—not many people can, especially if they’re not that strong in an emotional sense. The meditation will also help with this.)

Good luck, anonymous! It’s great to hear that your gardevoir is taking so much of an interest in you she wants you to understand her. That’s the sign of a caring trainer.

I have very bad insomnia problems, not only is it hard for me to fall asleep, but I also wake up in the middle of the night, sometimes multiple times. Would the use of sleep powder or sing be beneficial for me?

I would highly suggest only using Sleep Powder in cases where your insomnia is particularly severe. Using Sleep Powder routinely can cause a human to become dependent on it, and in any case, even one use can be risky. If you aren’t extremely familiar with your own body, it may be difficult to figure out the proper dosage. Incorrect dosages may be either ineffective or far too effective, depending on the situation. There have even been cases where the patient was incapable of falling asleep and wound up experiencing vivid hallucinations instead.

Granted, it is an effective sleep aid when taken responsibly. It just requires working with a doctor or, as I’ve mentioned above, an inordinate amount of knowledge concerning one’s own body to figure out what “responsibly” means. But when taken, it results in deep, restful, and (at the risk of revealing far too much about myself) essentially dreamless sleep.

Sing, meanwhile—as well as similar, non-chemically-based sleep moves (Grasswhistle, Lovely Kiss, Hypnosis, and even Yawn)—are indeed far easier to control. More specifically, while Sleep Powder users do consciously manage their quantified output but have no control over the specific qualities of their powder’s chemical potency, Sing users (as well as those using any of the other aforementioned moves) have complete control over the effectiveness of their techniques. Thus, not only would a Sing user lull you to sleep, but they’ll also be able to regulate their singing at a moment’s notice if they feel that they need to adjust. However, Hypnosis users, particularly members of the drowzee family, are preferable because their psychic abilities also allow them to monitor exactly how effective their techniques are. (It’s just that neither drowzee nor hypno should be used in proximity to children or on children directly, as their powers may induce pokémonitis instead.)

Of course, it’s also wise to consult with your doctor about a more long-term option. While these moves are great for treating insomnia on a night-to-night basis, it’s far less risky and far healthier to determine the root cause of your sleep issues and treat those. That way, you avoid developing a dependency on any of these sleep aids (all of them can be habit-forming), as well as any adverse side-effects your condition may have on your overall health. It may even be as simple as using a pokémon with Aromatherapy or Sweet Scent to reduce stress instead of following the procedures outlined above.

Good luck, anonymous.