Hello! My Raichu and I grew up together, we’ve been inseparable for many years. He and I love a good battle, and often train and participate in friendly fights. We do lots of traveling and my Raichu never backs down from any wild Pokemon if they try to attack. Recently we’ve been traveling into some mountains in Johto and i’m worried about Tyranitar. We take all the precautions residents recommended but my Raichu still insists on fighting. What can I do to convince him to back down?

Teach him Grass Knot.

Edit: I have just been informed by my editor that this does not, in fact, answer your question.

That having been said, as a native to the region myself, I can only guess what the locals have told you, but if they haven’t shared the most important thing to note, allow me to do so now. Tyranitar are extremely rare, as it’s necessary for them to control vast amounts of territory for themselves. Thus, they make their homes in more hostile areas, and they’re generally more interested in battling each other than a raichu that has no interest in claiming their mountains as its own. Discouraging your raichu from finding and battling them may be a simple matter of not venturing too deeply into the Johtonian mountains.

Should you encounter one anyway, inform him that you won’t give him commands throughout the battle. Your raichu will then have two choices: fight the land dragon made of rock himself or listen to reason and follow you away. If he chooses the former option or if the tyranitar notices you first, then it may be too late to deescalate the battle. One hit will alert the tyranitar to your location, which in turn will incite the tyranitar to attack. Your only choice at that point would be to follow through with the battle, so keep your raichu’s poké ball and at least one water- or one grass-type on hand—preferably a grass-type that knows Spore. Recall your raichu and have the grass-type disable the tyranitar, then get a head start on running before your raichu breaks free.

In all other instances (that is, if you haven’t encountered a tyranitar at all), remind your raichu that if a dangerous situation arises (such as a tyranitar encounter), your safety should mean more to him than the battle. While he may be confident in his ability to keep himself safe, with a pokémon as powerful as tyranitar, there is no guarantee for you. Word it politely, of course, but be sure to get that point across. If your raichu is loyal to you, it should at least be food for thought—or an opportunity to open up some form of conversation (or, well, the closest thing one can have with a pokémon) with him.

Good luck, anonymous, and may your journey be exciting!

Why does it seem like all pokemon mating rituals are violent cant they just ask nicely

Of course they can ask nicely. It’s just that for an entire kingdom of species, “asking nicely” frequently means “showing off my incredible powers over the cosmos in a full-scale battle until your heart is defeated and won in battle.”

Given that pokémon do the same with friendship and personal growth and that humans fully encourage this, honestly, this shouldn’t be all that surprising.

Hello! Do you happen to have the time to explain how HMs and TMs work?

Certainly!

As you likely know, modern-day TMs and HMs require three components: a poké ball, the TM case (a bit of a misnomer, as the case works with HMs as well), and the disk itself. As a note, there are different types of cases. Some people prefer the tube-like universal case that can store multiple disks at once, but others prefer the older style of cube cases that can only take on one disk at a time.

With either style, there should be a slot for your poké ball. In the tube style, this slot is located on one end, in the white-colored groove. For older, cube-style cases, that groove is located beneath the numbered latch. Either way, you would begin by placing your poké ball in that groove, then replacing the cover to avoid injury via the digitization process. For tube-style TM cases, you would also need to insert the disk you wish to use into the labeled drive close to the ball groove; cube-style cases, especially first- and second-generation devices, will have the disk already built in. (This is partly why TMs were single-use up until recently. The whole thing tended to break after one attempt. Third-generation TMs switched almost completely over to the tube-style of case, but the problem with those was that the ejection process tended to damage the disk beyond repair, thanks to a rather nasty design flaw. Fourth-generation TM cases onward improved on the design so that disks are now ejectable on all models, but you likely already knew this.)

Once the poké ball and disk are inserted properly, it’s just a simple matter of turning the device on and initiating the tutoring sequence by way of pressing “yes.”

This is the part you were likely referring to. Inside the TM case is a digitizer and virtual grid, much like the one used to store your poké balls in your regional storage system—or, for that matter, to store pokémon inside each poké ball. Once the contained poké ball has been digitized and suspended within the virtual grid, the information contained on your TM or HM disk is uploaded to your pokémon’s data and integrated where appropriate (that is, within the parts that encode its battling memory). Once that’s complete, your pokémon is reintegrated into the real world, and just like that, it will know the move you were trying to teach it.

Of course, this process applies just to the most popular styles of TM cases. There is also a slightly rarer style of TM case put out by the Pokémon Cutting-Edge Technology Research Center, which is a more pocket-sized cube capable of transmitting move data via digital pulses, so all one would have to do is pull the case apart over a compatible pokémon. Unfortunately, these are single-use TMs for obvious reasons, and the researchers at the Technology Research Center are still working out a few kinks in the system related to that. Also, seeing as how, precisely, this system works is a bit of a trade secret and seeing as the Technology Research Center is also one of my many employers, I’m unfortunately not at liberty to go into more detail than is already covered by the promotional packet. (Sorry.)

Then, of course, you also have the people who prefer to use the TM and HM disks as DVDs. You see, although each disk actually does contain information on how the move is used, they also contain tutorials that break each move down in ways that are comprehensible to a human. Thus, some people prefer to read this data themselves and use it to construct their own methods of teaching pokémon those same moves—which, according to some communities, is far more effective than doing so by machine. It makes sense, largely because by teaching your pokémon manually, you can incorporate their needs and body plan into your method, which in turn allows a pokémon to “feel” a move as they learn it. In short, it makes the process more natural for them, which means they come to comprehend their new moves in terms of the way their bodies use it, rather than purely from an academic approach.

Incidentally, yes, humans who have learned the information contained within a disk well enough to teach that one move to a wide variety of pokémon—including those that might not be compatible with the move according to the TM case—are called move tutors. (Yes, there are move tutors that teach themselves the mechanics of moves that are not contained in TM or HM disks. It’s just that one of the ways some of them learn is through the disk system.) And I only bring this up because there is a gentleman in Goldenrod City who knows, at minimum, three of these moves and frequently offers them to trainers who wander near the Game Corner, and long story short, please do not give him any coins if he offers to teach your team Flamethrower, Ice Beam, or Thunderbolt. I assure you, the explanation behind how he’s able to do this is far more mundane than you would think, and frankly, I’ve told my father many times that he needs to stop scamming tourists.

i have a rapidash that i love very much, but he’s very timid and skittish, to put it nicely. i used to take him to a groomer who was also a trusted friend of my team, but she’s moved to a different region and he won’t trust anyone else to do the job. he’s overdue now to have his hooves trimmed, but he gets freaked out no matter who i take him to. and since he knows i’ve never done it, he won’t even trust me to try. do you have any tips? i don’t want any more burned groomers on my hands.

Find a reputable, experienced groomer. It’s not unusual for rapidash to be skittish around strangers, so your rapidash’s behavior shouldn’t be surprising for them. In fact, a good groomer should already have in-depth knowledge on how to keep even the most unruly or anxious rapidash calm throughout the entire process.

For extra reassurance, stand within view of your rapidash, preferably with your hands on his snout. Not only will this position keep him focused on you (and possibly calm, as his field of vision will be taken up by someone he trusts), but it will discourage fiery outbursts, as you will be in physical contact with your rapidash at all times. Don’t worry if you yourself get burned; unless your rapidash is particularly anxious, the likelihood of that happening is low.

Also, be prepared to offer positive reinforcement in the form of apple slices or carrots after the session. The more you reward your rapidash for being well-behaved (and, for that matter, the more you promise rewards for good behavior prior to your first session), the easier the transition will be.

Could you suggest some options for pokemon that would be most reliable to use as a bodyguard?

That depends on why you need a bodyguard, anonymous. Almost any pokémon can serve as bodyguards for very specific reasons.

For example, most people employ fighting-types, as many fighting-types possess larger, more imposing forms or the hand-to-hand combat skills to discourage a physical assault from a human. Tyranitar, aggron, and vigoroth may also be used for similar purposes. (Slaking is not used for this purpose, however, as its special ability and generally lazy nature tend to make it a less-than-ideal candidate for such a job.) Aggron in particular tends to be extremely popular for this purpose.

However, assaults from a pokémon tend to be handled by either shedinja (which is protected by Wonderguard) or dark/ghost-types such as sableye or spiritomb. Spiritomb is especially favored for this job, as they also possess rather imposing statures themselves.

Other people use psychic pokémon for their bodyguards, thanks to a combination of their powerful telekinesis (which are effective against bullets and other weaponry) and their precognitive abilities (which are effective against, well, any situation). Psychics can also neutralize poison-types and protect their owners from telepathic assaults.

Then you have the people who prefer more discreet methods for a wide variety of reasons, including for use in highly public events. Members of the gastly line tend to be the most popular for these cases, as their abilities to turn themselves invisible and slip into and out of shadows make them very difficult to detect. However, any ghost-type with an intangible body (and thus, most ghost-types barring the shuppet line, shedinja, and the ghosts of Kalos) and smaller dark-types work just as well.

Of course, then you have the people who employ “cute” or “fluffy” pokémon such as clefable, wigglytuff, blissey, or audino as bodyguards, possibly because nothing guards a human being against the violence of our world better than irony, I suppose. Also, these four pokémon, when angered, are terrifying, and anything that could aim to hurt you will learn that rather quickly if they don’t already know.

Naturally, the above are only a list of commonly used bodyguards as far as I’m personally concerned. That is to say, these are the ones that I know about thanks to either personal experiences or connections who run security operations themselves. (No, readers, I was never on the wrong side of a bodyguard, contrary to popular belief. Newly established leagues have a tendency to hire bodyguards to look after me whenever I set up a storage system in a new region, especially after that rather nasty Team Plasma business.) The point is, there could very well be other types of bodyguards out there for scenarios I wouldn’t be able to dream up myself. Thus, the simplest answer is, possibly, to think of a scenario and then think of the best pokémon to counter that scenario. From what I understand thanks to the aforementioned contacts, that’s largely how security works.

I recently caught a Bulbasaur. He gets along pretty well with my Growlithe and Noibat. Any tips for raising him??

Well, it’s certainly a good thing that your bulbasaur is used to pokémon that would naturally harm him. I have no doubt that his relationships between these pokémon will only continue to grow. Should you be worried at all that either of them would harm him, it’s thoughtful but not necessary. So long as your noibat and growlithe are in full control of their abilities (which they should be if they’re tame), they should pose no threat against the new addition to their family.

That having been said, as part-plants, remember that bulbasaur need warm, sunny places to lounge and clean water, just as any other plant pokémon does. He will also need at least six hours in direct sunlight to avoid wilting, so ensure you have a place by an eastern- or western-facing window for him to lounge. (However, it’s better if he can lounge outside as much as possible.) If you can, give him a flat stone to perch on. The warmth from the stone’s surface can be relaxing to the reptilian half of his body. Additionally, keep him warm during the winter months; never let him outside without his growlithe partner, as the cold can freeze his bulb.

Other than that, the reptilian part of his body eats insects or very small pieces of meat in addition to kibble. He can eat the same things as your growlithe, but be sure that they’re much smaller, as bulbasaur don’t have teeth quite as sharp as canine pokémon.

It’s also perfectly normal for your bulbasaur’s skin to be on the dry side, but if it appears cracked, that may be cause for concern. Look out for any signs of lethargy (refusing to eat or sun, for example) and take your bulbasaur to the nearest pokémon center if you see these signs in combination.

Beyond that, bulbasaur are among the easiest pokémon to take care of. That’s why they’re frequently given out as starters. (Or … sold to children by less reputable dealers, not to reference anything in particular.) So long as you give your bulbasaur a steady supply of sunlight, water, and food, your bulbasaur will generally be very happy. You don’t really need to give it many toys, either, although some bulbasaur trainers give it balloons, install hooks high on walls, or generally provide their bulbasaur with distractions that it can play with using its vines. However, given the fact that it has companions who would have toys of their own, your bulbasaur may be content enough to play with his companions. The only thing to keep in mind is that a happy bulbasaur may vocalize frequently, especially at night or when it’s close to evolution. It’s best that you let it. It should only be a cause of concern if your bulbasaur vocalizes too loudly (that is, loudly enough to disrupt neighbors) or not at all.

Also, be warned when it learns Sleep Powder, Stun Spore, or Poison Powder. While bulbasaur are conservative about spraying powders or spores (their go-to defense mechanism is Vine Whip, followed by Razor Leaf), they will use Sleep Powder if they feel easily excitable pokémon such as growlithe are getting too excited for their liking. Other than that, it may be best to watch out for Razor Leaf and Vine Whip as well, although in general, bulbasaur are very difficult to startle into using their attacks.

Best of luck, anonymous, and congratulations on your new bulbasaur!

My quesiton is about the way people see my Haxorus. She is a sweet girl, shy, but she loves attentions from people but many see her as scary because of her size and looks and she is upset because no one likes to go near her when we are at the park. How can I show people she is not to be afraid of and how can she make friends with other trainer pokemon?

It pains me to say this, anonymous, but from personal experience, it is very, very difficult to change people’s minds once one gains a certain reputation. If someone is adamant about their perceptions of others, it usually takes a significant amount of effort to make them think otherwise. This goes especially with pokémon. Most people are terrified of gyarados, even though trained gyarados are docile—sometimes even friendlier and more loyal than trained arcanine. Likewise, haxorus is a species known for its gentleness, yet people are terrified of it because it’s a fierce-looking dragon, even though Unova alone hosts at least one far more violent species.

The best that you can do is show others that your haxorus means no harm. Let her spend time with you outside her poké ball in public areas, such as that park. Keep her calm when others approach, and if someone acts aggressively towards her (either aggressively affectionate or simply aggressive), help her to remain stable through the encounter. Yes, you may be tempted to tell the human off for being too aggressive, but this may escalate the situation. If possible, try to explain why she needs space—because she is, after all, a pokémon—but be as polite and clear as possible when you do so.

When pokémon approach, have them make the first move. Train your haxorus to react more than initiate, but train her to assume relaxed stances when she wishes to interact with others. (For a haxorus, this means relaxed limbs, head bowed, and jaw loose but not open. The less tense your haxorus looks, the less she appears to be preparing for an attack.) Oversee the interaction, but allow your haxorus to show how gentle she actually is. If trainers see their pokémon interacting with yours without incident, they’ll be a little more open to her presence.

But most importantly, as her trainer, it’s important for you to initiate conversations with others. Have your haxorus present and by your side, and if your haxorus seems interested in another pokémon, approach the trainer yourself and explain to them that your haxorus is gentle and would like to interact with their team. Good trainers will either understand that a fierce-looking pokémon isn’t necessarily a violent one, or they’ll be more receptive to learning about this distinction. Trainers who aren’t entirely worth your time will be less likely to listen to you.

Either way, always reassure your haxorus that if you do encounter a not-so-open-minded trainer, it’s the trainer who’s in the wrong, not her. With some effort on her part to show her gentle side and some effort on yours to help her build connections with your community, there will eventually be pokémon who will accept her for who she is, and the opinions of those who refuse to see her for her gentle nature won’t be important. But the point is, never let those negative opinions hinder you from reaching out to the people who are more willing to accept you.

Hey Bill, I recently found an old chatot in my garden who loves to scream expletives at people as they walk by! I don’t know where he learned it or where he came from. Repel keeps him away but I’m scared it’s hurting my garden. What should I do?

Can you get a video of it? I’m interested in this phenomenon for research purposes.

Edit: I have just been informed by my editor that this would be “unethical” and that she knows that “all [I] want to do with it is be endlessly entertained by a chatot that swears like a Unovan sailor,” so allow me to answer this question properly.

That having been said, some people like to employ the use of scarecrows to ward off any kind of bird pokémon, so this may work for your visiting chatot as well. Your scarecrow can be a traditional one or any object (handmade or store bought) that resembles large, imposing predators.

Alternatively, hang large (but lightweight) or reflective objects in your trees. Make sure they’re capable of turning with the breeze, and set reflective objects up so that they shine light either into your garden or into any possible flight path of this chatot. The amount of movement both the objects themselves and the reflected light from the shiny ones can confuse chatot and make them think that something is prowling in the garden. This in turn will drive them to avoid landing, as they’ll consider it unsafe.

(As a note to the above, some gardening stores sell holographic bird pokémon tape or hanging disks for this express purpose. It’s cheap, lightweight, and virtually harmless to your trees. I would recommend the disks, as they’re less likely to blow away in higher winds.)

Sounds can be used to the same effect. Planting a speaker that plays glameow and purugly calls may drive your visitor away by making it think one is lurking about your garden. If you can’t afford an outdoor sound system just for this, hanging empty tin cans in your trees works just as well, as the loud rattling they make can annoy a chatot to its wit’s end.

Then there is, of course, removing anything the chatot may perch on. Coating artificial perches (sculptures, for example) with something slippery but environmentally friendly (such as cooking oil) can discourage this chatot from landing, as it won’t be able to get a good grip on the thing it wishes to rest on. Some gardeners also use bird spikes to discouraging perching. Despite their rather garish appearance, bird spikes are typically designed to be dull enough that should a bird pokémon attempt to land on them, they’ll only be made to feel uncomfortable, rather than stabbed repeatedly. Nonetheless, I’m personally hesitant to recommend these, as, well, they are literally spikes you use to discourage birds from landing in your garden.

Finally, should none of the above methods work, obtain a glameow or purugly (or even a staraptor) and train them to chase away the chatot whenever it comes close.

Alternatively, if all of the above methods fail—even the last one—catch the chatot and teach it something a little less inappropriate.

Do pokemon enjoy being shown affection (such as petting, hugging, kissing?) even the none-animalistic ones?

It actually depends on the pokémon, anonymous. Some are more open to affection (petting, hugging, kissing, and so forth), and others are not. Always be aware of a pokémon’s body language as you approach and engage with them. If they start to back away from you, do not attempt to shower them with affection. If they squirm and protest you touching them, do not continue to touch them. If they attempt to attack you at any point, back away and give them space. Meanwhile, if they stand still and allow you to touch them or if they come to you, then chances are good you may show them affection (although keep in mind that this may not be recommended for all species—such as skarmory, for example).

Moreover, be aware that certain forms of affection to some pokémon are not actually good ideas for other pokémon. For example, while hugging is perfectly fine for a humanoid pokémon such as a jynx, hugging a feline pokémon puts them on edge, as you’re essentially binding them and preventing them from defending yourself. If you shower your pokémon with affection, be sure to do it in ways that don’t make them feel trapped or threatened. Give them the ability to defend themselves, and they’ll be more at ease and receptive to affection.

And of course, never shower a wild pokémon with affection until you establish a rapport with them. No, not even if they come to you. If you’ve spent an abundance of time with them to the point where they trust you, then perhaps it’s fine. However, if you’ve just met them, and they come to you and look like they want affection, there is a very, very good chance that it’s a trap in which that pokémon is seconds away from executing Draining Kiss.

(Nothing is more rewarding than befriending an entire clefairy colony and getting them to hug you … but also, nothing is more humiliating than stumbling across an entire clefairy colony and having them respond by giving you forty Metronome-induced Draining Kisses at the same time.)

As a colorblind art student, what are some good Pokemon from Sinnoh to help me with my colors?

There are a few that may be able to help. Some artists prefer the more direct approach of using a psychic-type, such as a member of the abra or ralts lines, to use their telepathic abilities to impose images of the colors their trainer wishes to capture on their mind. However, this is also a rather invasive approach, so not that many artists prefer to use it outside of more complicated pieces. (Additionally, excessive use of an abra, kadabra, or alakazam’s abilities may induce rather nasty headaches due to overexposure to psi waves.)

For that reason, most artists in your situation prefer a more synesthetic approach. Rather than forcing themselves to see the colors they need, they prefer using sight or sound to compensate. For example, they may catch a chingling or chimecho (or any pokémon with a very distinctive call) and train these pokémon to emit very specific tone-and-syllable combinations that match different shades of a certain color. A high-pitched “chime” may indicate a lighter shade of red, whereas a lower-pitched “echo” may refer to a dark green. This pokémon can then be asked to survey a model for any color that may present a challenge for their trainers, then indicate that object’s general color and shade with the corresponding tone they were taught to use. They can then guide their partners through the mixing of these colors by observing the artist’s paints and emitting tones until the pokémon’s sound matches the one they used while observing the model exactly.

The olfactory technique works in a similar manner, wherein an artist uses a pokémon capable of controlling their scent (such as pokémon that can use Sweet Scent, members of the budew family, or—in rare cases involving more eccentric artists—stunky or skuntank) to match the scent of a model with the scent of the paint an artist uses. However, because odors can sometimes take time to dissipate, it’s a less popular technique than the auditory one.

Best of luck, anonymous!