Tag: Anonymous

Wait, Bill, I thought I remembered hearing something about a Chatot-led metal group. Opinions? Better or worse than TOGEPIMETAL? Also would a Chatot make a suitable companion for a Viking going into battle?

Ah yes. You must be speaking of Rashbeak! Quite frankly, I’m entertained by them. Pokémon in musical acts are nothing new, but very rarely is one allowed to be the singer. On the other hand, given the number of incidents involving wigglytuff acid rock bands in the 60s, I suppose it’s perfectly understandable.

As for whether or not Rashbeak is better or worse than TOGEPIMETAL, I admit I lean more towards TOGEPIMETAL. The idea of an all-lass death metal band amuses me, I admit.

Finally, concerning your question about Vikings and chatot, absolutely. I have also been told clefairy are suitable companions as well. They are, after all, known within certain folklore as “fearsome and almighty dragon-eaters.”

Hi Bill, I am really enjoying reading all your research! I was wondering if you had any notes about the Kantonese fossil pokemon?

Thank you!

I admit I have extensive research on those pokémon in particular, but I’ll do my best to summarize the most fascinating parts over the next few days, beginning with:

Omanyte
The Spiral Pokémon
Type: Rock/Water
Official Registration #: 138
Entry: A prehistoric nautilus pokémon that once dwelled in the warm Kantonian oceans. Among paleo-pokémonologists, omanyte is significant in that it helps us to identify geologic periods. Their tightly spiraled, chambered shells make them fantastically easy to identify on site, and their lifespans on this planet are well-documented as being short, enabling fast and reliable dating of a rock strata. Little is known about its actual life, although its appearance within the fossil bed offer clues. It is said that omanyte flourished roughly around the Devonian period, when seas were at ideal conditions to support the evolution of marine life, and thus, omanyte adapted rapidly to the warm, briny environment. However, it is also said that although omanyte populations were hardy and tenacious during this time period, they disappeared abruptly off the face of the planet at the end of the Cretaceous period … likely due to the fact that no amount of hardiness or prolific breeding will protect a pokémon from drastic climate changes or meteors when they lay their young exactly where they’re most likely to die from exposure.

Omastar
The Spiral Pokémon
Type: Rock/Water
Official Registration #: 139
Entry: The evolved form of omanyte, by battle experience. Omastar possessed sharp beaks and spikes, rock-hard shells, and a plethora of strong tentacles, making it essentially a predator consisting entirely of weapons. One would think that omastar would have been an apex predator that could survive the Cretaceous-Paleogene extinction event, but two things prevented it from doing so. First, as its pre-evolved form was more vulnerable and its eggs even more so, it eventually reached a point where the species had nothing to evolve from. Second and even more ridiculous (yet still very likely), omastar had somehow managed to adaptively evolve shells so heavy that many would find a way to crush themselves to death before they could mate.

Hey Bill, can we get your very important scientific perspective on TOGEPIMET- that is, on the Togepi line?

Ah, yes, the togepi line. Quite a fascinating one, actually!

Togepi
The Spike Ball Pokémon
Type: Fairy
Official Registration #: 175
Entry: A foot-tall, egg-like pokémon that possesses very little in the way of offensive, defensive, or—for that matter—any battling abilities. In fact, it is said that shell of this egg-like pokémon stores joy and happiness and that this egg-like pokémon’s main ability is spreading peace and love wherever it goes. You are, in short, battling the most baby-like of all pokémon, and it would be most advisable to rethink your life decisions if you find yourself in this situation. You monster.

Togetic
The Happiness Pokémon
Type: Fairy/Flying
Official Registration #: 176
Entry: The evolved form of togepi, as a result of a heightened sense of happiness. True to its defined species, togetic is a small, bird-like creature best known for its ability to spread happiness and luck to kind-hearted people. Conversely, it grows depressed and lethargic when exposed to the arrogant, selfish, and immature for long periods of time. Thus, while togetic is traditionally considered to be a symbol of fortune and prosperity to the people of its native Johto, in more modern times, it has also become the symbol of people with questionable taste in men. Such as this writer’s older sister.

Togekiss
The Jubilee Pokémon
Type: Fairy/Flying
Official Registration #: 468
Entry: The evolved form of togetic, by exposure to shiny stone. A large, bird-like creature that flies from region to region on a pair of great, pure-white wings. It prefers to migrate to peaceful regions, to shower the people living there with blessings of prosperity and peace as a reward for their efforts to love and respect one another. However, if it crosses a war-torn country, it is known for spreading peace, happiness, and justice by delivering unto any authority figure it finds the most violent uses of Sweet Kiss and Fairy Wind observed in the pokémon kingdom. In short, this writer wholeheartedly approves of togekiss’s political platform and is more than ready to vote for togekiss in the next general election.

Any notable encounters with the Nidoran line, Bill?

Ah, the Nidoran line. This may be a bit complicated because the male and female lines are so vastly different from one another that they’re officially considered to be separate species, so I’m afraid I’ll have to cover them on two separate days. Below is the first, and tomorrow will be the second.

Nidoran (female)
The Poison Pin Pokémon
Type: Poison
Official Registration #: 29
Entry: A small, rabbit-like pokémon. An interesting fact about nidoran is that the first pokémon ever to be recorded using the move Poison Pin were members of this and its brother species, hence why they’re both described as “poison pin” pokémon in the pokédex. Of course, the story of how Poison Pin was discovered is equally interesting. Evidently, male nidoran are very protective of female nidoran, and female nidoran have a tendency to fire Poison Pin in tandem with their mates when alarmed.

Nidorina
The Poison Pin Pokémon
Type: Poison
Official Registration #: 30
Entry: The evolved form of female nidoran, by battle experience. Upon evolution, nidorina and their brother evolution lose their ability to breed. However, make no mistake: nidorina still possess mothering instincts—such as, specifically, the tendency to unsheathe their barbs and emit ultrasonic cries when anything threatens their burrow and young. As a note, what the pokédex says about nidorina’s docile temperament is true except in the above mentioned case, but the trouble with pokédex entries is that they never accurately describe how frequently exceptions to the rule occur. For example, in this case, yes, nidorina are docile, but it is highly useful to know that all routes where nidorina thrive are literally covered in nidorina burrows. Thus, when traversing routes through nidorina territory, bring antidotes. A lot of antidotes.

Nidoqueen
The Drill Pokémon
Type: Poison/Ground
Official Registration #: 31
Entry: The evolved form of nidorina, by exposure to moon stone. Nidoqueen are large, bulky pokémon covered in rock-hard plates. Both nidoqueen’s size and skin are highly useful in defending its young from threats, which it does with pride and enthusiasm. On the positive side, moon stone is very rarely found in nidorina habitats, making nidoqueen a very rare evolution to find naturally. However, on the negative side, nidorina territories really only need one nidoqueen to defend them, and that nidoqueen very rarely travels far from human roads. Luckily, hospitals are likewise very rarely far from nidoqueen territories.

ekans and arbok

Certainly!

Ekans
The Snake Pokémon
Type: Poison
Official Registration #: 23
Entry: An ekans develops its venom as it grows. This means that the venom of a young ekans is not as potent as the venom of an older ekans, and newborn ekans lack venom entirely, although their bites are still painful. When determining the age of your ekans, always judge by the length, not by whether or not it possesses venom; the longer the ekans, the older the specimen. Allowing an ekans to bite you in order to determine whether or not it possesses venom is not only a reckless idea but also the cause of death of many early Kantonian settlers.

Arbok
The Cobra Pokémon
Type: Poison
Official Registration #: 24
Entry: The evolved form of ekans, by battle experience. It is said that the elaborate patterns on its belly vary from area to area. Unlike most rumors concerning pokémon, this is true. Arbok from different regions have adapted different patterns, based on what its prey would find most intimidating. For example, Japanese arbok possess terrifying but simple markings that resemble noh masks. European arbok possess markings that resemble the faces of dragons or local monsters. American arbok, meanwhile, possess markings that resemble the most terrifying faces of all: clowns.

Right outside the door was a little packet of dairy free chocolates, wrapped up carefully in a white handkerchief with a shiny black bow. The attached message had been hastily hole punched so that the ribbon could loop through, as if the two words within, “Thank You” , had been an afterthought.

{(Click here to read the entry this refers to.)

The morning after being thrown into the ocean, a now perfectly dry, healed, and rested Bill steps out to get the mail and finds a small bundle at his feet instead. He stops to pick it up, feeling through the fabric somethings small, waxy, and wrapped in plastic. His fingers find the ribbon and, by extension, the note, and he pauses to read the latter. When he does, he smiles. He doesn’t need to ask whether or not the chocolates inside are indeed dairy-free—she of course forgot to mention that—because he recognizes the hasty scrawl and just knows.

She’s a good friend when you get right down to it.}

Please do Sneasel and Weavile, Bill.

Certainly!

Sneasel
The Sharp Claw Pokémon
Type: Dark/Ice
Official Registration #: 215
Entry: In Johtonian folklore, there is a creature called the kamaitachi, which was originally depicted as an invisible beast or whirlwind that lacerated hapless wanderers, leaving deep but painless wounds. Later research uncovered the fact that these demons were actually teams of sneasel that used Icy Wind to startle victims shortly before sneaking up on them to take them down. It goes without saying that this is yet another reason why Johtonians inherently possess an innate urge to set fire to everything within reach.

Weavile
The Sharp Claw Pokémon
Type: Dark/Ice
Official Registration #: 461
Entry: The evolved form of sneasel, by battle experience if holding a razor claw at night. Upon evolution, weavile become far more intelligent. Not only they have the ability to communicate through written language (which they carve on boulders in their territory to communicate with other weavile), but they also have the ability to coordinate and strategize, which they do in small but lethal groups. This would be unfortunate for Johtonians, except we had the foresight to gather all of our razor claws and export them to Sinnoh under the guise of a diplomatic gift. This, as expected, did not improve Johtonian-Sinnohian relations, and because we have subsequently recognized this as a jerk move, Johtonians as a whole didn’t put up much of a fight when Sinnoh built the Battle Frontier and exported to our region something worse than weavile: tourists.

Bill, what do you have to say about the Mr. Mime family?

Ah, the mime family.

Mime Jr.
The Mime Pokémon
Type: Psychic/Fairy
Official Registration #: 439
Entry: As a defensive maneuver, mime jr. mimics the expressions and motions of its predators. The enemy pokémon is thus so taken aback by this display that it can’t help but to hesitate long enough for the mime jr. to get away. The effectiveness of this maneuver may be difficult for some people to understand, so for a better idea of how and why this works, one should spend any amount of time in the general vicinity of a person and their younger siblings.

Mr. Mime
The Barrier Pokémon
Type: Psychic/Fairy
Official Registration #: 122
Entry: The evolved form of mime jr., by battle experience if the specimen knows Mimic. Despite its name, the mr. mime species is actually capable of being both male and female. Although it is difficult for this writer to admit, the name came from a notoriously sexist period of pokémonology and is based entirely on the misconception that only male organisms were capable of being terrible enough to manipulate impressionable humans into believing an object exists when it doesn’t until it does. As it turns out, both sexes of mr. mime do this, and the pokémonology community spent the ensuing sixty years pretending that the name came from an unfortunate translation error.

Thanks for writing about the Clefairy line! Although, I’ve heard stories that, when a Clefable dies due to violence, it turns into a vengeful Gengar, and stalks the land trying to find whoever killed it. Is that true, or was that Johto guy just leading me on?

You’re welcome.

As for your question concerning clefable, don’t be silly, anon. They have to start out as gastly first and then evolve into gengar. No pokémon can just turn into the last member of a ghost evolutionary line! Why, that would be absolutely ridiculous. Furthermore, it’s not just clefable, either. All non-ghost pokémon do this.

Who even gave you this information? Eusine? It must have been Eusine. Ho-oh even knows where he gets his theories sometimes.