Brock
The Rock-Solid Pokémon Trainer
Type: Rock
Positon: First Badge—Boulder
Entry: A mature, responsible pokémon trainer, breeder, doctor, and expert of the rock-type. Vastly intelligent compared to the majority of the Kantonian gym leaders, Brock would make an ideal conversational partner for anyone interested in pokémon knowledge … assuming an attractive woman is not also present. If that’s the case, then Brock may still provide some level of entertainment if the attractive older woman happens to be your misanthropic, black-belt older sister.

Misty
The Tomboyish Mermaid
Type: Water
Positon: Second Badge—Cascade
Entry: This young woman will bring boys of questionable virtue to your front yard because she has decided it’s the most romantic spot in Kanto, and you’re going to let her because she has a starmie and a temper, and you don’t have a death wish.

Lt. Surge
The Lightning American
Type: Electric
Positon: Third Badge—Thunder
Entry: A former officer of the U.S. Army, a specialist in electrical attacks, and a bodybuilder who can benchpress a car and snap the average pokémonologist’s body in half. That having been said, the writer would like to emphasize that this man is an upstanding citizen and a saint, and there is absolutely nothing funny about him whatsoever.

Erika
The Nature-Loving Princess
Type: Grass
Positon: Fourth Badge—Rainbow
Entry: The daughter of a former kimono girl and an expert in grass-type pokémon, Erika is well-versed in Japanese traditions (including those of traditional flower dancing and flower arranging), wise, elegant, and the epitome of grace and politeness … all according to the writer’s mother, who frequently tells him that she finds it utterly fascinating that the children of everyone else in her former troupe has gotten married and had children except the ones who moved to Kanto.

Koga
The Poisonous Ninja Master
Type: Poison
Position: Fifth Badge—Soul
Entry: Koga’s ninjitsu skills, as well as mastery of poison-type pokémon, are unrivaled and come as a result of decades of intense ninja training. It is entirely possible to learn all about this upon waking up in the hospital three days after a casual conversation with his daughter, Janine.

Sabrina
The Mistress of Psychic Pokémon
Type: Psychic
Positon: Sixth Badge—Marsh
Entry: A young but powerful psychic, Sabrina is gifted with all manners of abilities, including telepathy, precognition, and telekinesis. Due to a combination of these gifts, she also possesses the ability to hold psychic conversations with psychic pokémon, an ability she relishes during League summits, when she holds lengthy conversations with your kadabra about what is apparently your death—a subject that she assures you is far in the future but nonetheless arouses fits of laughter from both parties for reasons you neither currently understand nor would probably never want to understand.

Blaine
The Hotheaded Quiz Master
Type: Fire
Positon: Seventh Badge—Volcano
Entry: A brilliant former geneticist and master of the fire type. In truth, despite the fact that the writer is more interested in holding a conversation with Blaine than with any other Kantonian gym leader, yours truly knows very little about this man. Why? Because evidently, the writer’s father owes Blaine a hefty amount of money over a very long story involving a bet about ditto and a pub quiz, and Blaine stresses the importance of this by summoning his magmar to use Fire Blast at the very mention of the writer’s last name.