Hey Bill, random question but what is your favorite TV show? Mine personally is BLAZIKEN MASK! Ah, man that one episode where Blaziken Mask did his ULTIMATE BLAZING KICK to defeat Aura Thief was so cool~

Well, it’s certainly not Binaclebob Trapezoidpants.

How did you get out of the Corner of Shame this soon? —LH

So I think a ghost Pokémon is reaching out to my friend. He says whenever he crosses a specific bridge he tastes wheat and peaches in his mouth and the wind blows really fast. What should he do about that Pokémon??

Well, anonymous, the first thing you should do is verify that your friend is encountering a ghost pokémon. It’s entirely possible that the bridge is over a windy area, and your friend just really likes peach-flavored oatmeal.

To determine whether or not this is a haunting, take a pokémon that knows Foresight to the bridge. Have that pokémon scan the area, and if a ghost pokémon appears, have your friend connect with it. If it hasn’t stolen your friend’s soul by now, then it’s likely that it’s not entirely malevolent. If your friend is willing to capture it, encourage him to do so and communicate with it later. If he isn’t willing to catch it, ask it what it wants. It may help to use a psychic-type or another ghost-type to serve as a liaison. Once you figure out why it’s haunting your friend (or the bridge, whichever the case may be), you may be able to figure out what to do from there—or whether or not you should do it.

Additionally, should you have no desire to interact with this ghost as soon as you uncover it, it would be wise to get your friend a cleanse tag to protect him as he crosses the bridge. Either that, or encourage your friend to find an alternate route to avoid the bridge altogether.

If, however, there is no ghost … talk to your friend about his love of peach-flavored oatmeal. There are just far better flavors of oatmeal out there.

I put a little mustache on my luxray just to have a funny picture of him but now he doesnt want me to take it off. He looks absolutely hilarious but why does he want to keep the mustache?

Because he enjoys feeling dapper, anonymous.

Edit: I’ve just been informed by my editor that this is also an inadequate answer, but honestly, Lanette, let the lightning cat keep the mustache.

who is da best birb :>

All of them, if you want my humble opinion, anonymous.

Finish this, Bill: WHO LIVES IN A PINEAPPLE UNDER THE SEA? BINACLEBOB –

It’s a pinap berry, you cultural magikarp.

What do pokemon smell like

That depends on the pokémon. Some smell better than others, anonymous. For example, venusaur smell rather pleasant, like cinnamon and jasmine.

Muk … not so much.

Bara is short for Barazoku. Pretty much gay male art for the viewing pleasure of the discerning male reader.

Indeed it is, but now I have more questions concerning what this has to do with machamp.

I … no one explain it to Bill. —LH

LET’S WATCH KILL BILL

Would you smooch a Ghost-type? a) heck yeah b) heck yeah c) heck yeah d) heck yeah

Hold on now, anonymous. Which ghost-type, and for what reason? If you mean a member of the gastly line, I’m afraid I must decline either way.

Froslass if compensation is involved, however…

I am going to drive to your house in a truck full of tea, painted with the Unova flag, flanked by Braviary dual-wielding shotguns and dump tea in your pond because FREEEEEEEEEEEDOMMMMMMM. I will continue to do this on every Unovan Independence Day until one or both of us dies.

I remind you again that there is a gym leader who has a fondness for that pond, a starmie, and a very short temper. Godspeed, anonymous.